Memoirs of Brig General Jack O'Neill retired
by Arrietty
Summary: After a tragedy, Jack travels offworld.Season 8.NB: Chapter 32 is really chapter 28 revised, because of an error. I don't know how to change the name of the chapter. Fortunately, it is still in order, just listed wrongly. I apologise for any inconvenience
1. Chapter 1

**Memoirs of Brigadier General Jack O'Neill**

(Retired)

**Part I**

**Chapter One**

2025

_George asked me once, if I ever thought about writing my memoirs. I never believed that this would ever happen. Of course no one will ever see this - and if you are reading this, well, I will have to shoot you._

_I do like these new fangled machines, you just talk into the little microphone thingy here and the words just come out. Oh for crying out loud! How do you delete this now?_

_Delete. Crap! That didn't work. Oh, I give up._

_Where was I? Oh yes, these are my memoirs. Well, some of them anyway._

_It was back in 2004, which was a weird year: we got Daniel back; Jonas went home; and Anubis got creamed. All sorts of interesting things happened. Oh, yes and they got me out of that Popsicle machine. Now that wasn't fun at all. I couldn't get warm for weeks after that. _

_I suppose what I really need to write about is one of the darkest times of my life. I've been told – no, ordered to write about it. Apparently it should put to rest some of my nightmares. _

_It was the Christmas of 2004 when it started. We had finally kicked the Goa'ulds out of the Universe, I was also feeling fairly warm and it was the first Christmas without Doc. We all missed her that holiday, Cass the most of all. I noticed she hung around Sam a lot that day; wouldn't let her out of her sight. That kid had it really rough, but she has still turned out really well. Three kids of her own now, and she makes a great mom._

_We had all relaxed, even Teal'c had removed his hat. Sipping beers, and talking about everything we possibly could without mentioning work. I remember thinking that Pete didn't seem to be too bad, and he was making Sam happy - that was what was important. Even if it did feel like a kick in the gut every time I saw them together. I remember later the following year, wishing that we had that Christmas day back again, even if it meant Carter's head was on Pete's shoulder and not mine, at least we were- This is a waste of time._

_Okay, looks like I am back again. Where was I? I think I should stop thinking out loud here. Ah, Christmas 2004. _

_I had just got up to get another round of beers. I remember thinking that the house felt good all full of people. This was most probably the first Christmas that the thought of not sharing it with Charlie didn't feel as though my beating heart had been torn out of my body. It was also the last time I would be that comfortable for a long time to come. The phone rang in the other room just as I opened the fridge to retrieve the beer. The words that came through to me on the phone were not what I wanted to hear right then. _

2004 

"General O'Neill, you need to come to the base immediately."

"Understood."

"Right, sir."

All semblance of relaxation had flowed out of my body as soon as I heard the phone ring, and now the adrenaline was pumping through me.

I took a moment to look at my team, my family really. They looked so peaceful and happy and I, the big bad new general, was going to blast it all apart with just a few words.

"Hey, kids. Fun time is over now, back to the office we go."

I had to give it to them; they very quickly put themselves on alert, even though it was a holiday. Although I shouldn't really have been surprised. Oh, apart from Daniel - he was still in lala land. Had one beer too many again.

"Let's go!"

Ushering everyone out the door, I handed my keys to Teal'c. He always liked to drive and, as he was the only one that hadn't had a drink that day, I thought it prudent. Of course, I had to be careful how much I drank now that I was in charge of the SGC. 'Never off duty' as the saying goes.

Pete offered to drive Cass back to her apartment and I carefully looked the other way while he said goodbye to Carter. However hard I try, it still makes me feel like hitting something when I see them like that.

The road was slippery with melting snow, but I noticed that Teal'c drove my truck with proficiency, just like he flew a death glider. Trusting Teal'c to be fine, I was able to turn my thoughts to what could be waiting for us back at the base.

There was a lot of activity in the gate room when we arrived. The officer on duty immediately came up to me as I walked into the control room.

"General. There has been a situation at the Beta site."

Leaning forward, he flicked the switch on the com link. A very crackly-sounding recorded message, which was breaking up, came through.

"This is Major Burton from the Beta...ite… to the S…can you please…ledge. Over."

"This is Colonel Reynolds of the SGC, receiving, over."

"We are under attack…ame out of nowhe…need back up, immedia…argh!"

I could hear the sounds of a fire fight in the distance, then a loud boom that drowned out his screams. Then there was nothing; just static from the broken link.

"Major Burton, are you receiving? Over." Silence.

I always wondered how George ever made the decisions he made while running the SGC. Now I knew. They just come - you don't have time to think them through, and if you did, you would never do anything.

Turning to Colonel Reynolds, I asked, "How long ago was this?"

"Thirty minutes, sir. I called you as soon as we heard."

"And nothing since then?" I inquired.

He gave a barely perceptible shake of the head. Nodding once, I quickly started barking out orders. Not really caring whether I sounded gruff or not, I think I scared the living daylights out of the new recruits. No, O'Neill isn't a teddy bear. Not that Hammond ever was.

This was bad, very bad. We couldn't have anything go wrong at the Beta site right now. We must have a spy in the camp, because no one, not even the Tok'ra, knew this site's address.

Carter knew the problem; I could see it in her eyes.

"Carter."

"Yes, sir?"

"My office, now."

Nodding, she followed me to my office. As soon as the MALP had gone through I would know what we were up against, but until then we had to make plans for all contingencies.

"So… how long before you can get communications working again, Colonel?"

Carter's features transformed into her thinking look; I always like her thinking look, especially when she tries to explain something to me. She looks like she has trouble coming up with the correct words.

"As far as we can tell, there is nothing wrong with the radio, but the MALP should be ready to go through in four minutes."

Nodding, I didn't speak in order to let her continue. But she didn't, she just stood there and looked at me, waiting for me to reply.

So, I had to say it. I didn't want to, but I had to say it.

"It doesn't look like the President will be going through the Stargate for his off-world experience after all, then."

"No, sir." I could see her shoulders relax as she spoke. We had been dreading the day when we would have to baby-sit the President of the United States. Briefly putting him out of my mind, I rubbed my hands over my face.

"Carter. I have to make a call, I will be along soon."

She stood there and looked directly into my eyes for a moment, just a short time, but it was a good moment. Words didn't need to be spoken. She knew exactly how I was coping with this new responsibility and had backed me all the way. I really appreciated this. Now I had to break the news to the President that he wasn't going through the Stargate to tour the beta site after all. Not a pleasant task.

Nodding, without saying a word, she left my office. I could hear her footsteps fade down the corridor as I lifted the receiver of the red telephone.

The control room was a hive of activity as I descended the stairs. The tension was so strong that I could almost hear it humming. No one noticed me at first; they were all intent on their own tasks, as they should be.

"Carter, what's happening?"

Carter looked up at me before answering.

"We are waiting for your order, sir. The MALP is ready to go."

"You have a go, Colonel."

Carter leaned towards to the microphone.

"Siler, it's a go."

Turning, he nodded once to her and the MALP began its journey through the waiting open wormhole.

The images that were coming back via the MALP were not good. Utter desolation would describe it. It was a waste land.

The MALP stopped, and Carter swiveled the camera around to find out what had made the loud boom earlier. A man, if that is what you could call him, came up to the MALP. He staggered and clutched his left arm with a blood covered right hand, his leg dragging behind him.

"Do not come through the gate," he rasped out. "We will bury the gate, do not come."

I barely recognized Major Burton; he was covered in open sores and lesions. Someone had put some makeshift bandages on his injured arm and right leg. He did not look good at all.

"Report, Major. What happened?"

"They came out of nowhere; they dropped smoke grenades, then two great bombs. They just blasted everything. There are only nine of us left. Everyone else has died." I heard his voice break on the last word. "We haven't got long left, sir. It was chemical warfare. We won't even send the MALP back. Not worth it."

"We'll send in a hazmat team, we'll bring supplies. Just hold on, Airman."

"With respect, sir, no. Don't come. It's too late for us – two more have died just while we have talked. It's lethal. The birds are falling out of the sky."

The horror on the faces of the personnel standing with me mirrored my own feelings as I heard these terrible words.

"We understand, Frank." I didn't know what else to say. What do you say to a dying man?

"We will drop the gate face down," Major Burton turned his head away from the camera lens and looked off to his right. "I've got to get out of the way, now, sir." He slowly backed away from the MALP, stood as straight as he could and saluted. The screen went blank as the Stargate shut down.

It was quiet; no one spoke a word. I was seething with anger inside at the wasted lives. Daniel started to speak - cutting him off with an upheld hand, I stormed out of the room.

It had been three days since the incident at the Beta site and we were no closer to finding out how it had been compromised. We couldn't go back there, even if it was safe. They had succeeded in disabling the Stargate at their end and they were most probably all dead by now. We were waiting to hear back from the Tok'ra, who we had contacted soon after the attack, but had heard nothing since.

I had spent the last three days compiling letters to the loved ones of the brave men and women that had been lost on the planet. It was one of the hardest things I'd ever had to do. As an officer in the Air Force, I had always done these jobs before, but not on this scale. Seventy-three dead. And we had no idea who it was or why they had attacked us. I had mentally counted off all the Goa'uld that would want to see us annihilated, but apart from Baal - and he had disappeared without a trace months ago – we were pretty sure they were all dead.

Shaking my head to dispel thoughts of that evil snake, I pulled down the last personnel file of a fallen airman. He had only been twenty-seven years old and had a lot of promise. The only blessing was that he hadn't any children to leave fatherless. Sighing to myself, I laboriously started writing the last letter to grieving parents.

The break-through came five days after the attack. We received word from Jacob. Carter's eyes were shining as she greeted her dad while he walked down the ramp. I have to admit that I was pretty pleased to see ol' Jake myself.

"Hello, Jack," he said, as he warmly shook my hand.

"Good to see you, Jacob. It has been a long time. Come to the briefing room."

It was just my old team that was sitting around the table with me as we listened to what Jacob said. But it wasn't Jacob who spoke. I felt a shudder run down my spine when I heard the symbiotic voice. Even though it was Selmac, I still couldn't get rid of the dread I felt.

"We heard what has happened to the Beta site. We give you our condolences."

Nodding, I acknowledged Selmac with a "thanks."

"We know who is responsible for the attack."

"Who?" I blurted out.

Selmac continued, "Baal."

"But he's dead," Carter remarked.

"So we thought," Jacob took over. "Apparently he has been hiding and building up another army."

Cold thin tendrils worked their way down my spine, as Jacob and the rest continued the discussion. The words were flying over my head as I relived my experience under Baal's imprisonment.

"Jack?"

"What?" I asked Daniel, startled from my memories.

"You ok?" He had risen from his seat and was standing beside me with his hand on my shoulder.

Shrugging his hand off irritably, I answered, "Yes, Daniel." Trying not to show how this affected me, I ordered Daniel to sit down.

Avoiding Carter's knowing gaze, I spoke to Selmac who was once again speaking, '_when did he change from Jacob?'_ "Where is he?"

Selmac briefly looked down and Jacob emerged, smiling wryly as he replied, "Back in his own fortress, you know the one that you were kept in."

I wriggled, trying to stop the shivers doing their merry dance again, but it didn't work, so I leaned back in my seat.

"General Carter, we need to stop him. With this new weapon he will decimate thousands." It was the first time that Teal'c had spoken in the briefing room, and I looked at him sharply. He was correct; we had to stop this maniac.

"Okay, kids. Got any ideas?" I queried.

I didn't like the expression in Jacob's eyes, while he looked directly at me. "We need to get into the fortress and there is only one person who knows the way in and out of it."

"What about Shallan?" I asked very quickly. Baal's fortress was the last place I wanted to go anywhere near.

"I'm sorry, Jack, she was killed seven weeks ago, in a raid." I could hear a faint keening sound in the back of my mind. It was the remnants of Kanan. Even though I didn't have him die inside me like Carter did with Jolinar, I still remember him and what he felt. Kanan's feelings spilled over into me, I was surprised.

I coughed loudly to cover up my emotions. "So, you need me then."

"Yes, Jack," he tilted his head to one side and stared at me. I knew what he was thinking. Sometimes astute people that had two thousand year old snakes in their heads are a nuisance.

Standing up, I used my usual humor to transfer attention away from my discomfort. "Yeah. Well… seeing as I am 'the man'… I'd better pick up the red phone and ask if I'm allowed out to play." I rolled my eyes just before I walked out of the briefing room. Deep down I didn't want to go to that planet, but the thought of actually being back with my team felt good.

By the time I had reached my office, I had come to a decision. One that I couldn't avoid, one that meant I would have to go back to that accursed planet. Even though I had used the excuse about discussing this with my superiors, it was a reality. I was not allowed to go off world in my position, one of the many drawbacks of being a general. Unfortunately, they - my superiors - would want me to lead this mission.

It was the following day when she caught me in the commissary. I had been trying to avoid her all day, but she cornered me beside the desserts. As soon as I saw the blue Jell-o, I knew she would appear. And I was right. An arm snaked past me and lifted a glass of Jell-o from the shelf.

"Afternoon, sir.'

"Er…hello, Carter."

Taking a dessert, not looking at it properly, I plonked it onto my tray. I could hear her closely following as I walked to a table. Glancing around, I looked for an escape. Where were Daniel or Teal'c when you needed them? Resigning myself to the inevitable, I sat down at the table. I could hear the scrape of a chair as she pulled it out before sitting down opposite me. This, I knew, I was not going to enjoy one little bit.

"Sir?"

Ignoring her, I prodded hopefully at my murky coloured dessert. Maybe something would jump out of it and save me. Stabbing at it with my fork, I broke off a piece at the edge. The silence was heavy. Out the corner of my eye, I could see her hand clenched around the spoon, waiting for me to acknowledge her presence. Amidst all the noise of the kitchen staff in the background I could hear her quietly breathing, waiting, and her knuckles slowly growing whiter as she tightened the grip on her spoon. Not being able to put it off any longer, I finally acknowledged her.

"What, Carter?" I replied more gruffly than I intended. Without thinking, I quickly raised my head, looking straight into her eyes and promptly regretting it. There was hurt there, along with pain and worry. Throwing the fork down onto the plate, I leaned back and folded my arms.

"I'm all ears, Carter. What is it?"

Her hand now relaxed, she lifted her spoon up and delved it into the blue gelatinous mass. Her eyes were intent on what she was doing. I scrubbed my hands through my hair and looked around the room.

"Sir, this mission…"

I looked back at Carter and as she started to wave the spoon in the air while she talked, I couldn't help but smile inside. It was such a little thing, but it made me almost forget my fears.

"…we are going on, you know, to Baal's fortress. How are you with that?"

'_Oh yes, Carter. Don't beat about the bush will ya?'_ Even though I was one hundred percent sure that no one had entered the commissary, I still looked around for someone, anyone, to rescue me. Feeling desperate, I pushed the dessert away from me and stood up.

"I'm fine, Carter. It will be a good chance to kill that slimy snakehead…" Not waiting for a reply, I strode quickly from the room.

A feeling of guilt was niggling at the back of my mind. I knew I had been rude to Carter, but this was something that I really didn't want to discuss right now. Dismissing the whole incident from my mind, I continued to my office to attack the last of the paperwork before Davis arrived from the Pentagon.

It was three days later that Lieutenant Colonel Davis walked into the SGC. I was pleased that they had given him a promotion and was confident that he would be able to run this place in my absence.

Leaning forward over my desk we shook hands.

"Good to see you, Paul. Congratulations on your promotion."

"Thank you, General O'Neill."

Gesturing with my hand towards the chair… "At ease, Colonel, take a load off." I sat down in my comfortable leather chair. After all, there had to be some perks with the job.

"Colonel, they've briefed you on what is happening?"

"Yes, sir."

"My aid will fill you in on which teams are currently off-world. We've been cautious in sending out teams with Baal causing so much trouble. But there are three teams off-world at present, with one due back in…" I pulled the sleeve back from my wrist and checked my watch, "…three minutes."

Standing up, I led Davis down to the control room to wait for SG-11's return. Right on cue the inner ring of the Stargate started sliding around, locking in our address. Though the timing was perfect, everyone was tense, ready for anyone or anything to enter through that giant puddle.

"We have a code, sir."

"Yes, Sergeant?"

"It's SG-11, sir."

"Open the iris."

I watched the iris slide back before quickly moving down the staircase into the 'gate room. I wanted to be there when they walked down that ramp, to let them know that someone was always here waiting for them. I didn't realize just how concerned I was, until the first of my people walked down the ramp and I felt myself relax. The smile on the Major's face informed me that all was well.

"Welcome home. You know the drill; infirmary, showers, and then debriefing in three hours."

"Yes, sir." With a smile and a nod, they trooped past Davis and me. I watched them saunter off to the infirmary, evidently pleased to be back. I missed that feeling, the feeling you get after a mission gone well.

A tiny thread of excitement began to travel its way up my insides as I fully realized what Davis being here really meant. I was going off-world, admittedly to a planet I didn't want to go to, but still 'off-world'.

With an extra bounce in my step, I walked briskly back to my office with Davis trailing along behind me.

_DISCLAIMER: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions and Gekko Productions. This story has been written for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations and story are the property of the authors._


	2. Chapter 2

**Memoirs of Brigadier General Jack O'Neill**

(Retired)

**Part I**

**Chapter Two**

2004

We had to wait another full twenty-four hours before we could move out. Daniel and Carter had been called out on a mission and were off-world, digging around some old ruins and looking for more toys, so we needed to wait until they had returned. They were hoping to find something that would help us with the up coming mission. We had heard rumors of hidden weapons, but so far they hadn't found anything of use to us. Though the delay was frustrating, it still was good to see Davis in action, making sure in my mind that he was capable of the job. And so far, I was not disappointed. He could lighten up a bit, but still, at least he was less intimidating than I can be sometimes. Oh I am fully aware of how I appear to be.

The grin on my face disappeared as I walked into the control room. Something was not right.

"Sir, we can't get a lock on PT4 372. The gate won't engage."

I felt the adrenalin begin to pump into my system. I knew that planet's designation. It was the one that Carter and Daniel were on.

"Report, Sergeant," I barked.

"It could be because it is engaged, sir. They are either dialing out or someone is dialing in."

"Could it be this end, Sergeant?"

"No, sir. It is definitely their end."

The adrenalin made my body want to run laps around the small room. However hard I tried, I could never get used to this adrenalin surge at the SGC and not be able to utilize it through physical action. I could wait for hours or even days in the field, but here in this concrete hole in the ground, I could never get used to the waiting.

"Try again, Sergeant and keep trying until you get through," I ordered.

"Yes, sir."

I felt a presence move into the control room, without turning around, I spoke quietly.

"Hi, Teal'c. It looks like we can't dial through to Carter and Daniel. They were supposed to be waiting for our contact."

"Indeed," he returned.

Quickly glancing behind me I made eye contact with my brother-in-arms. He looked steadily back at me and then nodded slightly, acknowledging my thoughts.

I was worried, but then I was always worried when those two went off-world without me or Teal'c watching their backs.

Even though I knew I was making the technicians nervous, I couldn't leave I just hovered around the control room, trying my hardest not to fiddle with anything.

Fortunately, it was only twelve minutes later when they got a lock, not only for my sanity, but for the poor technician's neck that I was breathing down.

"We have a lock, sir."

I refrained from replying with the sarcastic response, _'I do have eyes, Sergeant.' _I let out a silent breath and waited not so patiently for the microphone to be passed to me.

"Colonel Carter. This is O'Neill at the SGC. Can you copy? Over." I didn't like the complete silence.

"Sergeant, do we have visual?"

"Yes, sir."

Anxiously I watched the screen as the camera on the MALP that had gone with Carter's team swivel around to take in the view. There was a flash of light, and then Daniel's face peered in close to the lens. The sun was glinting off his glasses making it hard to see him properly. But I did see that he was smiling.

"Daniel. What's going on there?"

"Jack, is that you?"

"No, Daniel. It is Frosty the Snowman. What's going on?" By now I was getting rather exasperated with the man.

"Sorry, Jack. The Stargate was in use, we had to wait our turn."

"Turn?" I am sure my voice had raised an octave with that word, remembering to lower it. I spoke into the microphone.

"What do you mean, Daniel? And where is Carter?"

"We are both fine, Jack. Some travelers were using the gate, had to wait until they had finished, then it was engaged all the time and we couldn't get through to Earth. You been busy your end, Jack?"

Deciding to avoid the dig in my direction about keeping the 'gate active, I spoke very clearly and precisely into the microphone.

"Get your butts back here pronto, Daniel. And that is an order."

More quietly I spoke to the technician, "Shut down the gate, Sergeant."

"Yes, sir."

Four hours after Carter and Daniel arrived back at the SGC, we were in the briefing room. While Daniel prattled on about the peaceful nomads that had come through the gate to the planet they were on, I found my mind wandering again. It always happened when Daniel was talking and all I gleaned from that particular briefing was that the nomads were similar to the ones that had found Daniel after Oma's friends had kicked him out.

Carter was strangely silent during the briefing, I was not sure what was going on in her mind, but then again I never really did understand what went on in there. Usually some technobabble, which would fly right over my head. As soon as the briefing was over and Carter was dismissed, she left the room in a hurry.

_I wish I had asked her about it then, maybe it would have been easier for me to understand._

Later that day I popped into her lab, she had just slammed down the telephone receiver into its cradle and in so doing knocking it to the floor. As I bent down to pick it up for her, I heard the sirens go off and the words come over the intercom.

"Unscheduled incoming wormhole."

I dropped it onto the desk and with Carter following closely, we ran to the control room.

Thankfully, as we arrived we watched SG-14 stumble through the wormhole, they had come back early. I observed Colonel Davis welcome them at the bottom of the ramp and speak with them before sending them to the infirmary. Apparently the locals didn't like visitors.

The following day, we were ready. The old team all kitted up and champing at the bit. Jacob was there too, he said something about not missing this for the world. Just as the Stargate started dialing up, a warning came over the loudspeaker system.

"Incoming wormhole. Unknown origin."

Twisting around on the spot I eyeballed the technician, nodding to me he then watched the screen which would inform him if it was friend or foe. I saw his shoulders relax seconds before he informed me of the outcome. Out the corner of my eye I saw Davis stiffen as he observed my exchange with the technician.

"It's the Tok'ra, sir."

I gave him a quick nod, ignoring Davis' discomfort; he will have plenty of time to run things while I was gone.

As soon as the iris slid open, someone stepped through the event horizon, I felt Carter stiffen beside me, Teal'c I knew without looking raised an eyebrow and Daniel grinned. I groaned internally.

"Greetings, General O'Neill."

"Hi ya, Anise… Freya… whatever." I knew I was waving my hand around like a windmill, but didn't really care. Whenever she came to the SGC, she always brought trouble with her and I expected nothing different today.

Walking straight past me, she made a beeline for Jacob. I couldn't help but be surprised, as she usually hangs around me a bit.

"Selmac. You are needed back at the Tok'ra base immediately."

"Hey!" I called their attention; there was no way we were going to lose Jacob on this mission. "Nope, he's ours for this trip. You will just have to wait your turn." I felt very smug as I stood beside Jacob.

Then that creepy feeling crawled its way up my back again. Selmac spoke.

"Jacob and I are needed here, what is it that is so urgent?"

As they started to speak, I whipped around to face Daniel, did a good imitation of Teal'c's eyebrow and stared hard at Daniel. "What are they saying?"

"Well put it this way, Jack, it doesn't look good."

I knew what Jacob was going to say, before he said it. Facing me, he looked most apologetic; I almost felt sorry for him, not that I would ever show it.

"Sorry, Jack. Selmac is the only one that can help, and the Tok'ra need his help. I can't go with you on this one."

A small knot of fear began to do macramé in my stomach as Jacob spoke. I knew I had to go back into that hellhole, but I had been counting on the extra help and support from Jacob and believe it or not, Selmac too.

Shrugging my shoulders externally, while the knots still made a plant holder in my stomach. "It can't be helped, Jake." I smiled and clapped him on the shoulder. "See you back here soon, okay?"

He nodded to me, and then turned to Carter.

"Sam, I'm sorry." They hugged. He quickly turned on his heel and followed Anise through the now opened wormhole.

By now, Davis had walked into the 'gate room.

"Sir, what is happening?"

"They needed Jacob. We will have to go without him."

A voice came from behind me. "Are you sure, Jack?"

"Yes, Daniel." I answered irritably. I could feel Carter's eyes boring a hole into the side of my head; I kept my gaze firmly fixed on the Stargate.

"Okay, kids. Remember," knowing full well that they didn't need reminding, "we are just going in, find this new weapon… virus... whatever it is, and then we slip out. Baal should never know we were even there."

A small chorus of "yes, Jack, yes, sir and an indeed," made its way through the sound of the event horizon bursting open. Feeling totally patronized, I followed my team up the ramp to the waiting open wormhole.

The whole mission was a disaster from the moment we strode onto the steps the other side of the Stargate. The few seconds it took for us to travel through the wormhole was enough for Baal's Jaffa to have turned up.

Of all the stupid timing, if Anise had never arrived to take Jacob, we would have been through and safe by the time these goons decided to use the Stargate.

The first sound that assaulted my ears as I stepped through the puddle was the heavy clatter of bullets hitting their targets. With a glance I took in all that was happening as I dived behind the DHD. Carter was making mincemeat out of the Jaffa as they ran down the steep slope behind the Stargate. Daniel was crouched down beside me taking pot shots with his pea shooter. The only signs of Teal'c were the rapid blasts that came from the forest behind me toward the oncoming Jaffa.

I heard the warning horn as the booming sound sailed out over the hills and faded into the distance. A few moments later, a faint sound came back towards us from the direction of Baal's fortress. We were toast, no where to go but back through the way we had come. Daniel had already started dialing the gate, but a hidden sniper was stopping him from punching in the third chevron.

Amidst the cacophony of sound, I shouted to Daniel, "I'll cover you."

He nodded in reply. I briefly noticed that he was nursing his right hand; it looked like it had been hit by a glancing staff blast from the sniper.

"On, three," I shouted holding three fingers up.

Nodding vigorously, he crouched behind the DHD, holding his good hand ready to reach over the top and punch in that key. Spinning around the DHD on the muddy ground I landed heavily on one elbow as I fired my P-90, raking the bushes where the sniper had been hiding.

He had moved.

I stared in horror at the sight of Daniel, falling back to the ground, as smoke billowed up from his stomach. Simultaneously I heard a cry from my left. Not a cry of anguish, but one of pain. Crouching, I swiveled around on the spot. A crumpled heap met my eyes; the telltale shock of blond hair was streaked with bright red. Glancing back behind me, I saw Daniel struggling to roll over. His glasses were broken beside his head.

Our eyes met. "Go!" He croaked, "Get Sam."

I heard another cry, as the sniper was taken out by a blast from Teal'c. Still crouching, I raced over to Carter, zig zagging, hopefully avoiding any enemy fire. I could hear the reassuring sound of the chevrons as they locked into place. Out the corner of my eye I saw Teal'c make his way towards the DHD and Daniel. I slid to a halt in the mud beside Carter. She hadn't moved.

Reaching around under her hair, an incongruous question flitted through my mind, _'when did her hair get so long?' _ I frantically felt for a pulse, but none was to be found. Pulling her over onto her back, I ignored the blasts of fire that exploded around me. One look at her staring open eyes was enough to tell me that I was too late. I could hear the familiar keening sound inside me that I had heard before when I had heard that Shallan had died. This time it was not Kanan. I reached down under her, and lifted her up onto my shoulder, just as I heard the kawoosh of the wormhole forming behind me. Teal'c was already supporting Daniel, as they made their way up the steps to the way home.

As I ran towards the Stargate, something hit me; it felt like an express train had run into me, the weight of Carter's body left my shoulders seconds before I landed face down in the mud.

_2025_

_"Grandpa, Jack!" _

_"Grandpa, Jack!"_

"_Hello, my little bambinos. Come on; give your Grandpa Jack a hug."_

_"Me first."_

_"No, me!"_

"_Hey, I've room for the two of you up here. I do have two arms ya know. Where's your mom?"_

_"She's putting little Jack down for his nap."_

_"Ah, so you've come for lunch then?"_

_"Mommy brought strawberries."_

_"Ooooh! Now that sounds like it is going to be a very nice lunch."_

_"Sammy, Janet? Where are you two?"_

_"Hi, Cass."_

"_Hi, Jack. There you are, I should have known you two would have made a beeline for here."_

_"You coming, Jack?"_

_"Yup! Right there."_

_"Jack?"_

_"You okay?"_

_"Yeah, fine."_

_"Oh, you just look a bit…"_

_"Nope, fine. Who wants to be a helicopter?"_

_"Me…me…me."_

_"Ooops! Be right there, have to switch something off." _

_DISCLAIMER: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions and Gekko Productions. This story has been written for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations and story are the property of the authors._


	3. Chapter 3

**Memoirs of Brigadier General Jack O'Neill**

(Retired)

**Part I**

**Chapter Three**

2004 

I felt as though I was suspended in midair: sounds washed over me that I was unable to grasp and make sense of. Slowly, I worked out each little nuance as it made itself recognizable to my ears. Loud beeps slowly filled the room, one coming from just by my head. All were going at different rhythms, and then a non rhythmic sound penetrated through the muffled noise, the sound of someone talking. The person was angry, I could feel and hear the anger without understanding the words. I had to know why that person was angry; I felt it was important for me to know why. But the answer to my question eluded me as the harsh sounds receded into the background of the general noise that filled my head.

I jerked awake, sound and light assaulting my senses as I tried to sit up. Realization had hit me full force as I remembered who the person was and why he was angry. I heard a crash as I knocked over a small table beside my bed as I staggered onto the floor. I felt numb, no pain, nothing, all my limbs felt like rubber. Sounds were getting louder, there were voices calling out things I could not understand. The beeping that I had heard before was going wildly erratic. Blurred images came towards me.

"General? Get back into bed, you are injured."

"Doc? Is that you?"

I felt warm hands take my arm and gently push me back towards the bed. As soon as my head hit the pillow, blinding light shone into one my eyes. _'O'Neill, you've really done it now. Gone and busted your head right and good this time.' _ But no, the same light was shone into my other eye, causing pain to shoot down into the back of my head.

"Doc. Why do you always have to do that?"

I heard muffled voices, but I still couldn't work out the words clearly. Grabbing the arm, that had been holding the torturous instrument, I forced out painful words.

"Janet? I'm sorry, I couldn't save her."

It went quiet. Only the noise of beeping monitors filled the room. My vision was still blurry, but I was starting to make out the forms of people.

"O'Neill."

"Teal'c. Are you all right?"

"I am, and Daniel Jackson is recovering well."

Letting out my breath slowly, I felt the warm hands on my arm as they checked my IV shunt. "Janet?"

"I am Doctor Melling, General O'Neill. Doctor Fraiser is no longer here."

The steady beep of machines started to go erratic again.

"General? Can you hear me?"

As I slid into blessed oblivion, I could hear the steady rumble of Teal'c's voice as he asked if I was going to be all right.

_2025_

_I know I'm supposed to tell about the time I spent in the infirmary, but I can't. It was a time that went in a blur, I couldn't focus and I found I kept forgetting that they were gone. I lost count of the number of times Teal'c explained to me what had happened on Baal's planet. Finally, one morning I woke up and remembered, and I didn't forget. But it was too late._

2005

I had missed New Year. I had slept right through it all; in fact I had slept through a lot. It was now nine days since that fateful day on Baal's planet.

The first question I asked Teal'c, "Did you bring her back?"

"I did not succeed. We left it too late; for that I apologies, O'Neill."

"We can go back and get her now."

Teal'c looked almost sorrowful as he fought to find the right words. I began to feel desperate.

"Teal'c, we can can't we?"

"Baal released the toxin into the planets atmosphere. We could not return to retrieve her body, nor will we be able to."

Stuffing more feelings into my overfull drawers of emotion, I let my tactical mind take over.

"What about Baal? What happened to him?"

"Of that, we are unsure."

Daniel seemed okay; he was hovering around me like a mother hen. The armored plates fitted into our vests that had saved me before had now saved him, but not Carter.

Apparently my head had received a good whack and I had had a severe concussion. The outside was mending perfectly. The inside, well that was a totally different can of worms and one that I was not going to delve into. Keep the lid tightly sealed shut was my motto. Don't let anyone in there and stir things up, it was all nicely packed away in the tidy little drawers. The only problem I was having with this one was that the drawer wasn't big enough.

I had been up two days before they had the memorial service I wanted to wear my sunglasses, but it is hard to convince seasoned airmen that the sun was too bright twenty-eight levels underground. I didn't speak at this service Hammond was there, but I couldn't look at him or Jacob. Jacob had finished his mission and the SGC had been able to contact him. That alone had been a miracle - since the disintegration of our alliance, they had been impossible to contact. I could still feel the combined wrath of Jacob and Selmac emanating from his body; it had festered and increased with time. I noticed a marked absence of Anise; just as well, as I don't think she would have felt very welcome.

Hammond spoke about Colonel Carter, the courageous officer that she was, what a great mind that had managed to get the Stargate systems in place. All of her military attributes filling the room. Things were mentioned that had come to be part of everyday life for all of us here at the SGC. Colonel Carter's exploits were praised and remembered by everyone, but me. The memories that flooded my mind were the gentle and quiet moments, the times that we just were. Slivers of calm inserted into our crazy existence of saving the world. The sacrifice was always thought to be necessary, but now, I have doubts.

I watched numbed through as Jacob received the flag from General Hammond. He stood there, in full dress uniform. He too, I could see, was wondering if this was all worth it.

I was back, sitting in General Hammond's chair. Never could quite claim it fully as mine. Teams were exploring new worlds just like normal. No sign of Baal, or any snake infested Goa'ulds for that matter. They seemed to have disappeared out of the universe. The only mounting battle that I was fighting was the pile of paperwork that was teetering dangerously on the edge of my desk. How Hammond managed to keep his desk so clear was beyond me. Half an hour later, I realized that I had been totally lost in thought and the pile hadn't got any smaller. I lost the battle with the paperwork as I reached across to retrieve the top folder, it fell on the floor. I have no idea if it made any noise as it was drowned out by the crash of my office door banging open against the wall.

Sprawled across my desk clutching falling files, I looked up into the furious face of a General… Tok'ra… whatever you call him. Both Jacob and I had sort of avoided each other since the memorial service. In fact we hadn't spoken face to face yet at all.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING, JACK?"

Uh oh it was the General, not the Tok'ra, speaking. When Jacob was like this, I usually preferred Selmac.

"Trying to stop a paper slide actually." Giving up, I let the rest drop to the floor as I slowly stood up and took a couple of steps back. Jacob was not just angry - he was beyond angry.

"Nothing?" I tentively asked.

"That is right, Brigadier General Jack O'Neill, absolutely NOTHING!" He had started at a whisper, his voice getting louder until it I am sure it could be heard topside.

"What…are…you…doing…about…getting…my…daughter…back?" He had begun to lean further over the desk towards me. I was thankful that the desk was of solid oak and that Jacob pounding it with his fist with every word was not going to do it much damage. '_Rather the desk than me.'_

An angry Jacob I could just about cope with, but an angry Tok'ra, nope. I backed right up against the bookcase, as soon as the flash of light appeared behind Jacob's eyes.

"I apologies for Jacob's behavior just now." Selmac spoke calmly and quietly. But I still didn't relax fully; you never knew when Jacob just might pop right out again. And I did not…want to be within flying fist distance when he did.

"He is very distressed and I will not let him go back to the planet as it will kill us both."

Without warning, my legs began to tremble. Being a rather unfamiliar feeling I let myself sink down into my chair, gesturing to Selmac to follow suit with the chair behind him. He gave a small smile as he sat down, nodding his thanks.

"Jacob will not like me telling you this, but he needs help. Help that I cannot give."

I leaned forward on my elbows, resting my chin on my hands and listened as Selmac spoke.

"He feels guilty that Sam was killed, he believes it was his fault because he was not there. That if he had not been called away to another mission, the extra person would have been enough to prevent her death."

He then proceeded to explain what Jacob was going through. At first I was embarrassed for Jacob that his personal feelings were displayed like this, but the feeling of embarrassment turned into discomfort. Selmac was describing my feelings right down to a 'T'. By the knowing look that Selmac was giving me, he was fully aware of my uneasiness. It really hit home, when Selmac said that Jacob had thrown a tray of food at Anise when she had tried to speak to him. I silently cheered the action, and then remembered the smashed bottle of beer that was still dripping down the living room wall of my house; it most probably had congealed to a sticky irremovable stain by now.

"Selmac." He stopped talking and waited for me to continue. "I want to talk to Jacob."

Selmac closed his eyes and as his eyes opened Jacob looked straight at me and just said two words.

"What next?"

He looked tired, beaten, not the Jacob I knew. He looked like I felt; dead inside.

"We…go kick some Goa'uld butt." I stood up as I finished my sentence. The realization of what I had said dawned across Jacob's face at about the same time it hit home to me. He nodded.

"Selmac thinks it might be a good idea, but first of all we have to find them. They have gone, disappeared. We have no idea where they are. The Tok'ra have only come across three Goa'ulds since the demise of Anubis, and they were very minor Goa'ulds without power or many Jaffa. Baal has gone too."

I could see the despair leave Jacob's face as he spoke, he was like me. We needed some action, something that would release all the pent up emotions and grieving.

"So, Jack. What do you mean as in 'we'? A team, would you let me have a team?"

I stayed standing and looked blankly at him, then shook my head. "No. No team, Jacob. - You get me."

"How?"

"That is if you'll have me." Smiling sidewise I then sat back down in my seat.

"But, Jack, you're needed here."

"No I am not, Jacob. They don't need me, I'm not doing the job to my fullest ability and I'm not cut out to be a desk jockey." Softening my voice, I continued to speak. "When Selmac was talking about you, Jacob…" Jacob looked uncomfortable, so I finished quickly. "He might as well have been talking about me."

Jacob's head shot up and he looked straight at me. Leaning forward he stared hard at me before he spoke, "Selmac knew it; he was right."

He looked down at his hands for a bit, before looking at me again. "Jack, I knew about the zatarc incident. I had just sort of hoped that things had come right over time, and when Pete came on the scene, well…" His voice broke slightly, and then he looked around the room before continuing. "I wish I had talked to her about it, before…"

I watched Jacob's eyes begin to tear, and then it hit the fan. _'Where are those sunglasses when you need them?' _I violently stood up, turned away and faced the bookcase stuffing my clenched fists deep into my pockets to stop me from smashing the glass doors. I closed my eyes tightly as I tidied my emotions back into their neat little drawers and shoved it all away again. When I was ready, I turned back, but Jacob had gone, and I hadn't even heard him leave.

"First things first," I muttered to myself as I bent down and picked up the mass of files and dumped them onto the middle of my desk. Without hesitation I lifted the red phone that sat on my desk and spoke into it.

"This is Brigadier General Jack O'Neill; may I please speak with the President?"

_DISCLAIMER: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions and Gekko Productions. This story has been written for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations and story are the property of the authors._


	4. Chapter 4

**Memoirs of Brigadier General Jack O'Neill**

(Retired)

**Part I**

**Chapter Two**

2005

I am sure General Hammond didn't have this much trouble, but then thinking about it…maybe he did. Daniel was being a right pain in the mikta, as per usual.

"Jack! You can't go."

"Why not? There isn't anything here for me to do. All I do all day is sit on my butt and push papers around the desk." I waved my arms in the general direction of the dreaded piles of paperwork.

Daniel looked at the neat piles that had been sorted out into order by my aide, raised one eyebrow and said sarcastically.

"Yes. I can see that."

"Oh…for crying out loud." Without thinking, in anger I started to pile the files back up into one pile again.

"Jack, I wouldn't do that."

"Oh Mister Know-it-all, gonna stick his nose in again?" Turning my head to look back over my shoulder, I saw Daniel smirk, lean back against the wall and fold his arms.

I never got a chance to say anything as all the files crashed to the floor.

"See, I told you. I am right about other things too, Jack."

Swiveling around on the spot, before I had a chance to answer back, Daniel had made a very wise, hasty retreat out the door.

Pushing the door closed, I went back to my desk, picking my way over the files strewn across the floor. '_Oh what a great way to start.'_

The following day, he started on at me again. I was still trying to sort out the piles of endless paperwork and I hadn't slept well the previous night - something that I felt was going to be an on going problem, maybe for a long time to come.

I heard his quiet footfall at my door. I refused to look up and tried to read the top secret document in my hand for the third time in the last ten minutes. He didn't go away.

"What do you want, Daniel?" I asked, without looking up.

"One of these days, you'll get it wrong and it will be someone else standing here and you will look a right nit."

I slowly raised my head, followed by an eyebrow, and asked again, "What do you want, Daniel?" I couldn't keep the tiredness out of my voice.

He walked into my office, frowned and announced, "You look like crap."

"Tell me something I don't know," I retorted.

Daniel folded his arms across his chest for a moment before straightening them and leaning towards me while resting his hands on my desk. "Teal'c is leaving the SGC."

"What!" I left at a run. I could hear Daniel scurrying along behind me as I made straight for Teal'c's quarters.

"Jack, he's not there," I skidded to a halt and swiveled around on the spot, "Where?" I demanded not caring what the SGC personnel thought about me shouting at Daniel, though they should be used to this frequent occurrence by now.

"In the locker room, packing a few things."

I changed my direction and made my way to the locker room.

I carefully peeked around the locker room door, checking the lay of the land so to speak and could see that, apart from Teal'c, the room was empty. He was busy carefully folding up some of his gym t-shirts and stuffing them into a sports bag. I was surprised to see his mouth guard follow the t-shirts. But then again, if your teeth are knocked out, it isn't easy to find a decent dentist off world.

"Teal'c." I sauntered into the room, trying not to sound to out of breath after my mad rush around the SGC corridors. "What ya doin'?"

"I am preparing to leave the SGC, O'Neill."

"Yeah, I can see that… Why?"

He stopped pushing the last of his things in his bag and turned around to face me.

"Why are you leaving, O'Neill?"

"Because I… Hey, I asked first."

He turned back to his bag and carefully closed the zipper, the sound grating on my nerves and I found myself rubbing my face with my hands. His voice was deep and vibrating as he started to speak.

"I first came to the SGC because I believed that you, O'Neill, could help me in the fight against the Goa'uld. But you are now leaving. I need to join my brothers so that we can completely free** all** Jaffa from the oppression of false gods." He stood still, his face seeming to show no emotion, but I could see pain, hurt and betrayal in his eyes as he waited for my response.

I fought my emotions down and was afraid to show anything as I battled them. I knew to make any of my usual funny comments at this point, to detract from the serious moment, would most probably earn me a punch from Teal'c. I stuffed my hands in my pockets. "Anubis is defeated; Baal has gone and taken the system lords with him. We won, Teal'c."

"The Tau'ri may have won, but the Jaffa have not. There are millions of Jaffa out there under the system lords' rule. They need to be freed from their oppressors.

"There you go, we have the same idea. Find Baal and free the Jaffa." I smiled with false confidence.

"You go to find Baal to seek revenge; I go to free my brethren. This time, O'Neill we will follow separate paths." He turned, picked up his bag and a small portable CD player. "I will be leaving first thing in the morning." He bowed his head slightly once and left the room.

More of my world fell from under me. Even with the seriousness of the moment, I couldn't help myself. "I hope you have plenty of batteries for that thing?" I called after him. He did not answer.

I dragged my feet as I slowly left the room and found Daniel waiting in the corridor. "I don't want to hear it, Daniel." I quickly said, forestalling his comments.

"Jack, why don't you stay? We need you here… I need you here," he added.

My emotions were on a roller coaster to start with and now his resorting to emotional blackmail was a bit much. I was barely able to keep my pain and frustration of the conflict with Teal'c concealed.

"So why don't you to come with me?" I demanded.

"You know how I feel about that, Jack." I felt my eyes narrowing as I glared at him waiting for him to continue. "She's gone, Baal's gone; they've all gone. There's no one to fight anymore, Jack." He folded his arms across his chest before continuing, "There are ancient worlds that would take the rest of my life to explore and I would be only touching the surface. I can do all of that from here, Jack. I don't need to go on some wild goose chase to find Baal. You and Jacob are just letting your emotions take control of your actions. I don't want any of that." He raised one hand and poked at my chest, without actually touching me, "If I had wanted revenge, I would have gone after Apophis long ago, but you talked me into staying and working at the SGC." I had the insane urge to stuff my fingers in my ears and start singing, but I put my hands in my pockets instead.

"Have you finished, Daniel?" I asked.

"No I haven't," he replied. "You are both throwing your lives away for nothing, Jack. How long do you think you will last out there without a team to back you up?"

"Both? I thought there were three of us making this decision," I quickly inserted into Daniel's tirade.

He threw his hands up and walked off. "You'll see, Jack. It won't work," he called back to me just before he rounded the corner.

I stalked off to the gym, pleased to find it empty, I shed my shirt and quickly wrapped my hands in tape. I mentally drew a picture of Baal on the boxing bag and made my first punch.

The next two weeks went by in a blur. Jacob and Selmac had unofficially resigned from the Tok'ra - they said that the Tok'ra owed them a break, so they were going to take it whether they liked it or not. Jacob helped me out quite a bit. Not only did I have the SGC to organize, but I had my personal belongings and house to sort out too. It was quite easy really, just time consuming. My belongings I had professionally packed and put into storage, I wasn't really planning on coming back, but you just never know. The house I didn't want to sell, so I put it up for rent.

A bonus that I found out was that they were still going to pay me. Even though I had officially resigned they, 'the government', wanted me to send back anything that I found in my travels that would give a technological advantage to Earth. I had pointed out that as they weren't giving me a GDO, it would be rather hard to do that. It was worked out in the end; I was to rendezvous with different SG teams at known planets, using the elusive Tok'ra or Jonas Quinn as messengers. Even Selmac would have trouble finding them after several days, as they moved regularly.

The biggest surprise to me was who they were going to have to replace me at the SGC. I didn't really know until the last day. I had expressed my concerns over the fact that they were bringing in someone who had no idea how things were run. They should have had at least a couple of weeks getting to know the ropes before I left, but no, the powers that be seemed to have it all under control. Paul Davis and I had talked it over at length; he said that he would stick around just in case.

Daniel was still angry with me, but he seemed to mellow with time and now he had other fish to fry. One of the planets had a fully occupied Aztec community living on it. He, with a team of geeks was going to spend several months living with these people. When I pointed out that the Aztecs seemed to enjoy sacrificing people, he just shrugged his shoulders and said. 'And I could be run over by a bus tomorrow.' Deciding to leave his geekiness alone, I didn't say anymore.

Teal'c left. I wasn't sure if he was still angry with me, or what his feelings were. I do know watching him walk off through the Stargate left me with a hollow pit in my stomach… or was it my heart?

I found myself walking backwards down the hallway, my replacement had come early.

"I am glad it is you, really I am, but…" I faltered as I nearly tripped over my feet.

"But what, Jack?"

"I've been so busy, you know with one thing and another." I could see he was not fazed one little bit by my wheedling. I had tried my hardest to stop him from going to his new office, but nothing had deterred him. I had the feeling that he knew exactly what waited for him there. 'Leaning Tower of Pisa files.' Or should I say 'Towers'?

I watched as he opened the door, leaning against the doorjamb I cautiously poked my head into the office. _'How on Earth does the man do it?' _ The desk was totally clear of files except for one, sitting in the middle of the blotter. George Hammond settled down in his chair, gave a small sigh and opened the file. Without looking up, he spoke.

"Is there anything else you wanted to say, Jack?"

"Nope, erm…no, sir." Waving with one hand, I turned around and left the doorway.

I waited a couple of minutes, removed my boots and snuck back to the office. I had to find out what he had done with the files. I have to admit I did get a few queried glances, but no one approached me thankfully. In full special ops style I looked around the doorway into my old office. There was Hammond, he had one of the filing cabinets open and was pulling out all the files and dumping them on his desk. If I hadn't seen…well, heard it with my own ears I would never have believed it. He was humming. Realizing fully that my aide was and never had been my aide, but George's, I grinned to myself, turned and walked quickly off down the corridor stopping and pulling on my boots in the process.

It was a weird feeling waiting for the wormhole to lock. This time I knew that it might be the last time I would see the grey interior of the SGC. Though I was wearing fatigues, the Velcro patches on my uniform devoid of the SGC insignia made me feel vulnerable. This time I would not have the backing of my teams, no one to come and get me out if I got into trouble. On this mission I would be on my own. Well not really, as Jacob would be with me and there were three of us, if you counted Selmac. Not for the first time, I was grateful for Selmac's presence, and most probably it wouldn't be the last time either.

I stopped close to the event horizon, turned and faced General Hammond. I raised my right hand and gave him the best salute that I could give; he returned my salute with one of his own. With a quick turn of my heel I stepped through the gate.

_DISCLAIMER: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions and Gekko Productions. This story has been written for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations and story are the property of the authors._

7


	5. Chapter 5

**Memoirs of Brigadier General Jack O'Neill**

(Retired)

**Part II**

**Chapter One**

2025

The whine of a bullet sped past my ear as I dropped to a crouch. Taking in the situation, I noticed that there were eight people other than Jacob and myself in the room. Two were lying dead on the floor in front of me and two were behind the doorways in the offices along the wall. The other four were advancing along the floor towards us. I did not see Jonas amongst them, and they were shooting at us, so I made a split decision and dived unscathed into one of the offices. Jacob was not so lucky; he took a bullet in his leg and went down.

Seeing Jonas crouched along the wall taking pot shots at the enemy, I was pleased I had made the right call. Nodding to him, he covered me while I dashed out grabbed Jacob by his jacket and dragged him back behind the door. I slammed the door behind me and I quickly ripped the material from Jacob's leg and bound it tight. The blood that was pumping from a main femoral artery was not going to do him any good out of his body, snake or no snake. As the bleeding stopped, I checked Jacob's pulse, finding it was fast but steady. Turning to Jonas, I yelled.

"What on Earth is happening here?"

"A slight disagreement with our neighbors." He shrugged, gave that lopsided carefree grin of his and opened the door to start shooting again.

Wasting no time, I switched the safety catch off my P-90 and joined him. I was aware of the other occupant of the room; she was busy blasting away through an opened window with what looked like a bazooka. It made nice big holes in the walls, but she wasn't a very good shot. I had trouble remembering her name, but it came to me. It was Kianna I couldn't help grinning internally; it looked like Jonas had got that friendship sorted out after all.

The fight ended abruptly when Kianna's bazooka hit two of them at once. Fearing for their lives, the other two put down their weapons immediately and started waving their arms in the air. Jonas and I wasted no time; we secured their weapons and I tied up the prisoners while Jonas let in the security guards who had been locked out of the building.

I looked at my watch, I had only left Earth for five minutes and I had already got myself involved in a little war. Walking over to Jacob, I could see he was now conscious.

"So, Jake. You decided you didn't want to go with me after all?" My reply was a glower. "You don't look too good. Shall I take you back to Earth, or Tok'ra land?"

"Here will do, Jack."

Glancing up quickly at Jonas, who was now kneeling down on the other side of Jacob, I looked back down at Jacob and spoke quietly to him. "No offence to the Kelownans here, but I think you will be better off at home or erm…home, depending on whom I'm talking to."

"No really, Jack. I am fine, Kelowna will be fine. It will just take a day or two for Selmac to do his work; apparently I have lost a lot of blood."

Looking at the large puddle of blood congealing on the floor, "Ya think!"

I decided to wait until Jacob was fully healed. It was good in a weird sort of way, hanging out with Jonas. I liked his house, it was unusual, but then most places were off world. I was and yet wasn't surprised to learn that he and Kianna had married.

"So, the invite got lost in the mail then?" I asked.

Jonas just grinned and had the perfect answer. "Well, we don't do things like that here, Jack. We get a certificate and sign it and that is it."

"What no celebration? No guests? No presents? No bachelor's party?" I couldn't keep the forlornness out of my voice. "No cake?"

"Nope, no cake."

Without any bidding or thinking, the vision of Sam's face swam before my eyes. She was lying in the infirmary, she had just got back after being lost on the Prometheus and we were talking about cake. She had smiled at that, she liked my idea of cake.

My thoughts were abruptly broken into as Kianna came running into their home screaming Jonas' name.

"JONAS. JONAS!" Clutching both his arms, she gasped for breath.

"Kianna what's wrong?" Jonas looked straight at her as he spoke.

By now I had risen and was walking to the doorway and cautiously looking outside to see what might be out there. But all seemed well.

With a deep calming breath, she closed her tearful eyes and then spoke slowly. "They've taken Malia."

"Who has?"

"The Grenuts." Opening her eyes, she looked up at Jonas. "Oh, Jonas what can we do? They will hurt her."

Now that name had piqued my interest. "What are the Granites, Jonas?"

Holding Kianna close, he spoke over her shoulder to me. "Grenuts." He corrected. "We're not quite sure what they actually are, but there is a small band of sub-humans that live in the Dark Forest about three miles out of the city." Turning back to Kianna, he spoke quietly to her. "I will have to move quickly if I am going to get there in time."

Nodding, she let go of him so he could unlock some cupboard doors. I felt the soldier in me salivate at the weaponry he pulled out of the locked doors. There were three large handheld guns, which looked similar to machine pistols. Pulling some small purple cylinders down from a shelf, he loaded up the pistols.

"What are those?" Walking towards Jonas, I reached out to pick one up. Jonas quickly passed the loaded weapon into my hands; it felt light and was well balanced and certainly looked nothing like the antiquated artillery that they had used on this planet before.

"It was something that Kianna's symbiote designed for us. We needed something that the Grenuts were afraid of."

"Aren't they afraid of bullets?"

"Well, no they don't like them, but they have a nasty habit of not dying. The bullets sort of pass right through them. They stop for a bit, and then keep walking."

Refraining from pointing out that bullets don't just sort of pass through you, they do or they don't, I asked another question. "How many are there?"

"About fifty, give or take. It is hard to count their number as they look all the same, sort of."

I was getting a little irritated about the words 'sort of' by now. "So where is their village? Can't you 'sort of' go in there and find out?"

"No."

"No?" I was sure that my eyebrows were half way up my forehead by now.

"They don't have one. They are nomads, and about three times a year they venture into the city and steal people."

I barely heard her at first, as she spoke so quietly. "Usually young girls, they sacrifice them to something or other. No one has ever escaped, so we don't fully know why. We have found the dead bodies though." At this point her voice broke and she fled into their bedroom.

"This girl they've taken, she is important to you and Kianna?"

"Yes, she is Kianna's sister. She lives with their mother, who is very ill at the moment. I must find her and bring her back."

"Well, count me in."

Jonas gave a half grin, and picked up the other weapon. I watched as he locked the third one in the cupboard.

"I thought you would."

"You thought I would what?" I asked.

"Oh, you know, want to try out these weapons." Picking up some of Kianna's personal things, he opened the door to their bedroom and went in to speak to her.

I quickly walked into the kitchen and raided the cupboards, pulling out food that wouldn't spoil on the road, and filled water bottles. I had no idea of the terrain that we would travel over, so we needed plenty of water just in case. Spying a med kit, I grabbed that too. I had my usual supplies of MRE's and med kit in my pack, but it was with Jacob and his gear at the hospital. We would have no time to retrieve that before we left. Part of the agreement of being here was that I could go anywhere as long as I was unarmed. This was a time that I regretted leaving my P-90 back at the hospital. I still had my zat gun hidden away safely under my jacket.

I had just finished collecting the gear, when Jonas walked back out into the living room - two empty packs swinging from one hand. Moving quickly I filled them, measuring out the weight evenly between the two. He pushed the weapons down into each of the packs out of sight. Jonas was not smiling, this was serious. There was a very good chance that we were going on a suicide mission, Malia would be dead soon if not already and all we were doing was retrieving a body.

I didn't realize just how important this was until Jonas told me more as we walked through the crowded streets.

Now free from Kianna's listening ears, Jonas told me what these creatures could be.

"As I said before, we are not one hundred percent certain what they are, but they are not human. They don't breed, there aren't any offspring. We assume that they are all male, but you just can't tell. They are covered in hair, they have two arms and legs and a head just like us, but… they growl and snort and they smell disgusting. What is weird is that nothing seems to kill them. And believe me, we have tried everything."

Looking at him, I raised one eyebrow.

"No, not a naquadria bomb. You're right, not everything." He shook his head and then continued talking. "But they are cannibals, well not cannibals as they don't eat each other, but they eat what they take."

I felt my stomach turn over at the thought, the urgency of retrieving Malia dead or alive increased with this knowledge.

"How does this weapon work? Does it kill?"

"Unfortunately not. It emits a high frequency that we can't hear. They scream and hold their hands over their eyes and run away from the noise. The only problem is that the weapons only work at a forty-five degrees radius, so they can come up behind you. This is why it is good that there are two of us."

"Their eyes?" I couldn't let this one go.

He shrugged. "Well where our eyes would be. We don't know what bits go where on them really."

I closed my eyes briefly at the picture that sentence had put in my mind. "I don't think I really want to know either."

I heard a quiet snort beside me as we continued out of the city gates and into the countryside. I could see a dark blue/green mountainous area in the distance. I questioned Jonas with a look. He nodded in reply. I had to admit the place looked rather formidable.

It was mid-afternoon when we reached the edge of the forest. The sun was very hot and we were both sweating freely. The forest was dark, dank and cold looking. Even though we were sweltering, we pulled on our jackets before entering the dim interior. We also ate and drank our fill. We would not be stopping while we were in there as we only had about three hours to find and retrieve Malia before the sun sank below the mountain and made it too dark to traverse the forest floor.

"Oh, Jack, there is one more thing."

I felt that foreboding feeling come over me as he spoke.

"You will need to put this around your nose and mouth." He passed me a large thick bandana. It was dark green and smelt of rose petals.

Sniffing it, I wrinkled my nose and gave him a questioning look.

"Believe me, Jack. You will be thankful that you put it on."

With reluctance I tied the sweet smelling bandana around my face and copied Jonas by tucking the bit at the bottom into my jacket collar. I was thankful that at least it wasn't a pink or purple bandana, but dark green. I knew that if Daniel or Teal'c _'ack'_ ever found out about this, I would never be able to live it down. _'Sam would find this really funny.' _ Closing my eyes briefly at the pain that thought brought me, I quickly focused on what we were doing.

I observed that Jonas knew exactly what he was doing and where he was going. To me the forest all looked the same wherever I went, and I always believed myself a good tracker - maybe not as good as Teal'c, but good enough.

We walked up hill for about thirty minutes, and then abruptly we started down a steep incline. It was then I noticed the smell. Trying not breath through my nose, I gagged a few times as the stench permeated through the rose petal bandana and touched the back of my tongue. I could taste the foul odor. Jonas nodded to me and we quietly continued down into the gloom. Slowly, I began to learn to cope with the stench, which was just as well as it seemed to increase in strength the further down we went.

We had been in the forest for over an hour now; I was chilled through even with the exertion of climbing down through the bracken filled forest floor.

I heard it the same time as Jonas signaled me to stop. The sound grated on my nerve endings, it was nothing like I had heard before. I could see why Jonas had had difficulty in explaining what sound they made.

Suddenly, all the hairs on the back of my neck stood on end, as a girl's scream cut through the grunting and snorting. She was still alive. Reaching forward I grabbed Jonas' shoulder, just stopping him just in time from running into the group of Grenuts. I could feel his body shaking with anger under my hand. Signaling him around, we circled the group.

I was not fully prepared for what I saw next. Jonas hadn't told me that their hair was dark green, hanging long, down off their arms and legs. They were crouched over, almost loping in their walk. You couldn't see any features as the long dark hair completely covered their heads. Hoping that they didn't have eyes in the back of their heads, I slowly crept closer to the small band. There were about fifteen of them and they were circled around a young girl who was lying on the ground. Apart from looking extremely dirty and scared, she looked unharmed so far.

The stench of these beings was almost overpowering. My vision was beginning to swim before my eyes as the fumes from their bodies permeated the air. I could see Jonas crouching ready, waiting for my signal on the other side of the clearing. But the signal never came.

Without warning I felt a strong arm grab me around the neck and flip me onto my back. I felt the breath whoosh out of my lungs, the trees swaying dangerously as they dipped and spun above me. Then it went dark, and I could feel soft hair tickling my face. I whooped in a breath of air as my starved lungs drew in the much needed oxygen. Fortunately, at this stage my bandana had been removed, because as soon as the fetid air hit my lungs, I threw up all my lunch, breakfast, and dinner from the past three days all in one foul retch. Dragging in another breath, the stench assaulted my being as I crouched on all fours gasping for anything that resembled oxygen.

I fell with a thump as one of my legs was yanked straight out behind me; my arms gave way as I was dragged along the prickly forest floor. I had to admit I was thankful that I was dragged past my vomit and not through it, though compared to the stench that surrounded me, that was quite pleasant. I grunted as my hip bumped over a sharp rock and scraped all the way up my torso, finally knocking into my shoulder with force. I was dragged too quickly to grab the rock that would have made a nice weapon against my hairy green sasquatch. Suddenly, the world stopped moving as my leg was unceremoniously dumped on the forest floor.

"Argh!" Right on a fallen log.

"Don't bruise the meat, it won't be tender."

I slowly rolled over onto my back. The trees were only moving a little bit, which had to be a good sign. Carefully, I sat up. I was surrounded by big green hairy monsters. I felt something touch my hand.

"Ah!" Trying my hardest not squeal like a girl, but I was feeling a little jumpy. Anyone could forgive me of that, surely.

Looking down, I saw Malia, her large blue eyes full of tears. I wasn't sure if it was the odor or her fears that were causing it because my eyes were watering from the smell. Reaching out my hand, I clasped hers in mine, and smiled tentively. She smiled back, quickly sitting up she hugged me tight, her whole body shaking with fear and sobs as she clung to me. I returned her hug by holding her firmly with one arm and slowly looked around the clearing. I was stupid. Jonas had told me there were fifty odd of these creatures, and I should have kept an eye out behind me.

Looking through the gap between the creatures, I spied my pack lying abandoned on the forest floor. Lying beside it was my only way of defending myself against these hairy beasts. I just hoped that Jonas was able to retrieve the Grenut gun and that it still worked.

By now the sobbing had stopped and Malia slowly pulled away from me.

"Malia?" I asked.

Her big tearful eyes looked up at me as she nodded. I was amazed, from what Jonas had been saying I had imagined someone about fifteen or sixteen, but this little girl would have only been about twelve years of age.

"My name is Jack; I am a friend of Jonas and Kianna."

Her face broke into a smile. "Jack? I have heard of you, Jonas talks about you a lot. Did he send you to rescue me?"

"Not exactly."

Malia gave a small shiver. It was then I realized that she didn't have a coat and it was cold in the forest. Quickly removing my jacket, carefully hiding my zat under the bracken in the process, I gave it to Malia. She gratefully put it on and zipped up the front, then tucked her hands into the warm pockets. Glancing at my watch I could see it was getting late. We had now been in the forest for two hours, with only one hour left before it became dark on this side of the mountain. _"Now, Jonas - now would be a very good time to act." _ But it seemed he had other ideas.

I hadn't realized, but while Malia had been zipping up her jacket, more of these creatures had arrived. It was then I grasped that was what Jonas had been waiting for. He didn't want to be surprised like I was by more arriving. But fifty? Could he take on fifty without the extra weapon? Leaning down, I whispered into Malia's ear.

"When I say run, you run. Okay?"

She nodded.

"Don't look back, you go straight up that hill and then down the other side towards the city. Whatever you hear, you keep going until you get home. Don't stop for anyone. You understand?"

She nodded again. "Yes, Jack," she whispered in a small voice.

"That's my girl." Smiling, I squeezed her shoulder.

Very carefully I scanned the edge of the clearing, looking for any sign of Jonas. Then I saw him, he nodded to me, as I held up four fingers shielding them from the Grenuts. Not that I thought they could count, but I wasn't going to take any chances. Quickly checking my watch I waited the four minutes until Jonas would make his attack. Right on cue, a quarter of the Grenuts were suddenly crouching over the ground clutching at their faces, emitting a high keening sound. Then, without warning, they jumped up and started running further down the slope into the trees, away from our escape route and Jonas. The other Grenuts started to come towards us. Yanking Malia up roughly by her arm, I yelled at her.

"Go, run! Now. Get out of here."

She took off fast, fear giving speed to her tired legs. Pulling out my zat, I fired at the first Grenut. It screamed in pain, blue fire shot out of its body as it spasmed. Then recovering, it carried on walking towards me,

"Oh crap!"

Firing again, the blue light enveloped its body. The sight that met my eyes was comical. The long green hair shot out at right angles to its body, making it triple in size. The resemblance to Michelin man was very close, apart from the green and the hair of course. The electric blue light crackled and danced on the end of the hairs, the only sound now in the forest. The remaining Grenuts stood still, not moving as they watched the spectacle of their fellow beast's transformation. With a scream and a yell the large fur ball waddled towards me, arms outstretched.

_2025 _

_"Hello, Jack speaking."_

_"What do you want?"_

_"No, Daniel. I do not want to come around, I'm busy."_

_"Something."_

_"Okay then, I will tell you what I am doing. It is none of your business."_

"_Oh for crying out loud. I know she said that, but the answer is no. Can you spell? N . O . NO!"_

"_I am not interested in the Mayan text or the Timbuktu text or the PZ 789 whatever text. Get it?"_

"_I am fine, nothing wrong with me."_

"_What do you mean 'a bit grumpy'?"_

"_Look, Daniel, I know what she said and I know I am meant to get out more, I know I should loosen up a bit more. But if you don't leave me alone right now, I will come around there, and you will not like it one little bit." _

"_Goodbye, Daniel."_

_DISCLAIMER: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions and Gekko Productions. This story has been written for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations and story are the property of the authors._


	6. Chapter 6

**Memoirs of Brigadier General Jack O'Neill**

(Retired)

**Part II**

**Chapter Two**

2005

Raising the zat up high, I aimed it at the creature and squeezed the trigger. With a slight puffing sound he was gone, with only a few green hairs remaining floating lazily in the darkening light. Turning slowly I aimed the zat at the next victim. Without hesitation, they all turned and ran. Jonas aimed his weapon at any stragglers that decided to brave the fur ball machine.

As soon as the last bit of green fur disappeared into the gloom of the forest, we turned tail and ran – well, Jonas ran and I limped. That rock had done a bit of damage to my hip. Ignoring the pain, I dragged myself up the incline and down through the forest on the other side. I enviously looked at Jonas' bandana; I could really do with that as my eyes were still streaming from the odor the creatures produced.

As soon as we burst through the tree line, a small bombshell flew into us. It took a few seconds to realize it was Malia as she hugged both of us in turn. Thanking us for saving her with every hug.

My pack was irretrievably lost, so we shared what food we had. Malia chatted most of the way home, still over excited from the rescue only pausing to eat the food that Jonas gave her. Just as we reached the city walls, she lost her energy. Jonas bent down and lifted her into his arms. I watched as Malia placed her arms around his neck and closed her eyes. Slipping my sunglasses on to hide my still streaming eyes, we walked through the city gates and made our way to Malia's house.

There was lots of crying and wailing as Jonas carried Malia into his mother-in-law's home. Kiana was there waiting, sobbing she snatched her from his grasp and hugged her tight.

"She's alive?" she exclaimed.

"Mother, she is alive." Crying she carried the sleepy child to her mother.

Jonas was still standing, as was I. Gesturing to me, he said, "Come, we'd better get cleaned up."

Walking out the door I followed him back to his house. As we reached the front door, my body began to shake. It was tired, it had been beaten, dragged and fur balled. Not caring where I sat my smelly self, I plonked down on the nearest soft chair in the living room and promptly fell asleep.

_It was dark; the fronds were wispy and hung down in front of me. Pushing out with my arms I pulled the fronds apart. Bright green light assaulted my eyes, a burning sensation ran down my throat as I struggled through the glutinous mass of green sludge. However hard I tried, I couldn't get through it. On the other side I could see her, she was being dragged through the long grass by a Grenut, and he was puffed out into a fur ball as though he had been zatted twice. She was screaming my name, calling for help. "Sam!" I called as loud as I could. "SAM!"_

"Jack!"

"Wha…wha." I looked blearily around the room, stopping when I saw the anxious face of Jonas peering at me.

"You okay?"

Nodding, I swallowed; my mouth tasted like crap and, well, I didn't smell too good either.

"Where's the shower?"

"Just through there," he replied, pointing. "You'll find everything you need." Jonas looked at me, frowning. "Jack are you sure you're okay?" he asked.

"Oh yes," I said, nodding carefully.

"Okay." He smiled and trotted off to the kitchen.

Screwing my face up against the pain, I slowly leaned forward. Okay, which bit hurt? No, better make that which bit didn't hurt? Nope, that isn't going to help either. It all hurts. Slowly, I moved every joint and limb, stretching the stiffness out of them, so it would reduce the pain when I did finally stand up. With a grunt and a withheld cry, I stood up. Clutching the top of the sofa, I made my wobbly way along the living room, still hanging onto my prop. _'Okay, Jack. Only two feet to the door, you can make it.' _ With two staggering steps I arrived in the bathroom, closing the door behind me, I leaned onto the shower door and switched it on. Thank goodness I had used one before or I would never have guessed in my state that the blue tile, third in from the left was the faucet.

When I finally emerged from the bathroom, apart from the ache in my hip and shoulder and the grazes on my face, I felt almost me again. I noticed the chair that I had slept in was no longer in the living room and the room smelled suspiciously like rose petals, which didn't really matter, as I smelled like one too. Jonas had just finished putting some food out on the table.

Rubbing my belly, I walked up to the table. "I'm famished."

Jonas stopped, looked at me, sniffed and then laughed.

"What you smilin' at?"

"You didn't find the soap and shampoo I put out for you then?"

"What?" I was getting a little irritated by his grin, plus I was getting a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach.

"You used Kiana's shampoo."

"Well I didn't see any other shampoo anywhere." Now I was really getting mad, though more at myself than anything. I hadn't looked at any labels; I had just grabbed what was closest. Glaring at Jonas, I sat gingerly down at the table. That hip was going to give me trouble. I just knew it. It had already gone a lovely shade of black, so I knew some damage had been done_. 'Well, look on the bright side; it isn't your knee this time, Jack.' _

Jonas wisely ignored my grumpiness and started to eat. It was good food, and I felt myself beginning to relax.

"When's Kiana coming home?" I asked.

"She will stay with her mother and Malia for a while. She popped around while you were in the shower."

"Malia, okay?"

"Yes, she is a strong kid, and brave. She will be all right. Tomorrow they want us to go to the council and explain what happened. If the zat will destroy them that will be good, and then maybe our children will be safe."

"Have you tried to reason with them, find another place for them to go?"

Jonas sat there open mouthed, then turned in his chair and looked behind him.

I frowned. "What?"

"Oh, just checking to see if Doctor Jackson was in the room." He grinned.

Okay, so it wasn't something most folks expected to hear coming out of my mouth. Shrugging my shoulders, I ignored him and continued. "Well, have you?"

"That wasn't the first time I have had dealings the Grenuts you know. We tried about five years ago, and again, after I came back from the SGC. Each time we lost two of our men. They are not human. I don't think they are even animal, and there is something really unusual about those creatures."

"Ya think!"

Deciding that I had done my bit in saving another race, I continued the discussion in another vein. "How many zats does your government have?"

"Three."

"Three?" I repeated.

"Well, four, but they don't know that." He grinned.

"Ah. The cupboard full of tricks." I jerked my head in the direction of where the other weapons had come from.

Thankfully, Jonas had managed to retrieve my dropped weapon, so he still had the three noise emitters.

"I am not sure what the council will do, but my recommendation will be to arm sentries with zats at night and we will make more of those Grenut guns. I know how they are made."

We continued to eat. I didn't really care that I smelled like a flower garden, anything was better than the Grenuts.

"Jack, you okay?"

'_I really wish you wouldn't keep on asking me that.' _"Of course I am okay, just a bit sore and stiff. It sort of does that to you when you have been dragged around by an overstuffed tribble."

Jonas frowned at my choice of words. Deciding to ignore it, he continued down the dangerous alleyway that he was going.

"When you were asleep, you were dreaming?"

Ignoring my pointed silence, he continued. "You really miss Sam, don't you?"

Shifting slightly in my seat, I speared something that looked a bit like a beet. It tasted totally different, but I didn't really care at that moment. I was hanging by a thin thread – one which wouldn't take much to break it and at this moment, Jonas had it at breaking point.

"Is that why you left the SGC?"

Counting slowly to ten, I replied. "Jacob and I are on a fishing mission, to find new technology that is all."

But no, he didn't get the hint. I mean frosty man O'Neill didn't get through to him at all. He just kept on prodding.

"How is Pete?"

Mount Vesuvius hadn't a patch on my reaction. Food and plates went flying as my arm shot across the table and pinned Jonas to the wall. That was a totally low blow. I thought Jonas had much more sense than that, but no, he just had to pry.

"Don't you ever mention that two faced, conniving, traitorous wretch to me again. Only three lousy months. ONLY THREE LOUSY STINKING MONTHS! And he goes and gets married to someone else, didn't even wait a decent time. She thought the world of him, and look how he repays her."

My eyes refocused onto Jonas' face. He wasn't scared; he was sad. I didn't like pity anymore than the next man, but this wasn't pity, this was real true friendship. Releasing him from my hold, I tiredly sank back into my chair.

"I'm sorry, Jack. I shouldn't have pried. And I shouldn't have mentioned… well, you know."

Shrugging my shoulders - I seemed to be doing that a lot lately - I waved my hand out over the mess. "Sorry about the-"

"No, really it's okay. You go and see Jacob; I'll sort this lot out."

I think he had seen the pain I was in, and knew that there was no way I could get down on the floor to clean that lot up. So I stood up stiffly and opened the door. Stopping, I turned and spoke very quietly.

"You are a good friend." Then I quickly closed the door behind me before he could respond.

I made my way as swiftly as I could to see Jacob. I also wanted to get my hip checked out, just to make sure that nothing was severely damaged.

When I arrived, I found Jacob sitting up in bed happily eating his meal. A pretty nurse was seated on the edge of his bed, laughing at his jokes_. 'I am sure that is against regulations.'_

"Hello, Jacob." I sauntered in the best way I could with a sore hip, with a grin plastered across my face.

"Jack! Hi there. I hear you have come face to face with the local wild life." His cheeky grin disappeared as the nurse stood up and left.

"Now look what you have done, Jack."

"She's too young for you anyway, Jake," I said as I slowly settled myself down in the chair.

"So what happened?"

"I got attacked by a stinking, smelly oversized, green fur ball. That's what happened."

"Stinky is the word. Did it roll in rose petals before it attacked you, Jack?"

At that point, I just gave up and closed my eyes; I could hear the clatter of his knife and fork on the plate while he finished his meal as I drifted off to sleep.

_I could hear her screaming my name, "Jack! Jack!" Looking up through the green haze I saw she was held in a tight grip from a giant green ball, covered in fur. I started to run towards her, but it continued to drag her away from me. I had nearly reached her when the green monster turned towards me and laughed. Pete's pink face looked out from amongst the green hair and then they faded into the mist. _

"Jack, you okay?"

Opening my eyes, I looked around the room. Jacob was sitting on the edge of the bed studying me.

"Yeah, fine, Jake. Just fur ball dreams."

He nodded quietly.

"I need to talk to you, Jack."

Groaning inwardly, I sat up a bit straighter, _'here comes the lecture.' _

"I'm going back home."

I was surprised. "Why?"

"This time, stuck here in this bed, made me think a bit. I'm suspicious that Selmac took longer to heal me on purpose." _'What one day?' _ "I have been thinking a great deal about Sam and what she would have wanted me to do. And it wouldn't be wasting my life going after Baal for revenge."

I sat waiting for him to continue. This was not what I expected.

"And I don't think she would want it of you either, Jack."

I looked up at his face; oh there goes that two thousand year old look again. "I can't go home."

"I know you can't, Jack, but I can and I am going to. I have another child and grandchildren. Grandchildren that because of Selmac I will see grow up to have children of their own, even their grandchildren. I don't want to die, Jack. I want to live, and this **is **what Sam would have wanted."

I nodded. "Okay, Jacob, if this is what you want. I won't make you come with me."

"Think about it, Jack. Don't throw your life away for nothing. Baal has gone; no one knows where he is anyway. Why waste your time, energy and life on him?" I didn't like where this conversation was going. "I think you are running away."

"I don't know what you are talking about, Jacob."

I slowly stood up, every muscle, joint and bone complaining at the movement. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Jack. Don't forget what I said, running from your memories won't help, they just follow you where ever you go."

I ignored him and walked out through the door. What did he know about it anyway? I stood outside the hospital for a moment and looked up at the night sky. The stars were shining clearly, bringing me fond memories of my travels with SG-1. The words of Jacob resounded in my ears _'you are running away'_. A feeling of dread came upon me as I began to realize what he meant. Kicking the wall of the building, I turned away and walked angrily down the street. Trying to convince myself, I muttered under my breath, "I don't know what he means."

It was a long and thoughtful walk back to Jonas' house; I just hoped he had gone to bed when I got in because I was not ready for another heart to heart tonight.

I have spent some tedious days in my time on other planets, but this morning took the cake. They had to form a committee to organize who had zats and who didn't; what time they were issued; who was allowed to use them if someone was kidnapped. Were there enough zats to exterminate the Grenuts? I rolled my eyes at Jonas and excused myself from the table. They were so intent on arguing amongst themselves they didn't even notice me leave. Jonas followed soon afterwards.

He was grinning from ear to ear as he strolled out of the conference room. I was waiting in the hallway, and had found a nice easy chair to rest my still sore body in. It felt good.

"Come and take a load off, Jonas."

"Actually, Jack, I would have thought you would like to farewell Jacob; he is leaving in about fifteen minutes."

I had almost missed him; I didn't want that. I carefully stood up, pleased to feel my sore muscles begin to loosen as I walked, and even my hip was becoming less painful. This was just as well as I had totally forgotten to get it checked out the previous night.

We walked into the room, just as the event horizon formed. Jacob was geared up ready to leave. He would be gating to the Tok'ra base first, then on to Earth. He wanted to see his son and his grandchildren. I didn't blame him, in fact I was pleased. He was content, which was important.

"Good luck, Jacob." I shook hands with him. Without warning he pulled me to him and hugged me tight.

"Jack, remember what I said, you are no good to anyone dead," he whispered into my ear.

I slapped him gently on the back and let go. I gave him a quick nod. His face broke into a smile and he returned my nod with one of his own. With sadness I watched him turn and walk through the open event horizon.

_DISCLAIMER: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions and Gekko Productions. This story has been written for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations and story are the property of the authors._


	7. Chapter 7

**Memoirs of Brigadier General Jack O'Neill**

(Retired)

**Part II**

**Chapter Three**

2005

I stayed on Jonas' planet for another week; I needed the normalness of home life. I found out during that week that Kianna's mother didn't have long to live, and that Kianna and Jonas would be taking Malia in to live with them soon. I was pleased that Malia was safe and she was fun to have around. I taught her the rudiments of baseball. Jonas had picked up a bit on Earth and so promised to practice with her. I also wrote a letter to Hammond.

"Can you give this to General Hammond when you next see him?" He nodded. I knew that I could rely on Jonas to do as I asked.

He most probably thought it was some important information about dark green giant fur balls, but it wasn't. I just asked George to use some of my pay to buy Malia some baseball gear. You can't practice baseball without a glove, now can you?

The week went by quite fast, I avoided the Grenut committee at all costs, and there was no way I was going to get within smelling distance of one of those again. I was quite safe, because as usual committees always took a long time to organize anything. If it had been up to me, the problem would have been sorted out within a couple of days. Fortunately for me and the Grenuts, it was not.

My pack was bulging with extra goodies that Kianna had made for me. I stood in front of the Stargate, a few officials were there, I'm still not quite sure why, maybe it was to make sure I really left. And of course Jonas was there, grinning as usual. All my clothes were clean and nicely pressed. Fortunately, I had convinced Kianna to use non fragrant washing powder. I didn't want to be famous around the galaxy as 'Jack the rose petal'. I had already said my farewells to Kianna and Malia. I was going to miss them, but at least I knew I was coming back.

"Do you know where you are going, Jack?" Jonas asked me.

"No, not really," I replied as I waved the small piece of paper under his nose. "I just jotted down a few addresses off the main computer at the SGC. Ones we have never been to before."

"Isn't that a bit risky?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "Nah not really. No more than usual."

"I mean, you don't know what's on the other side."

"No, we never do really."

"Jack, you don't understand what I am getting at. I mean there could be a rock face, under the sea or even no air."

Frowning, I turned to Jonas. "Cheery chap aren't you? You know just how to make someone feel excited about venturing out into the vast universe." With the last word, I outstretched my arm and made a sweeping motion in the air.

Grimacing, he continued. "So, you have no idea if you are going to go 'splat' on the other side or not then?"

'_Where on Earth did you learn words like that, Jonas?' _"Nope, but I will find out in a minute or two." I watched as the fifth chevron locked into place. "And if I go splat, I will be sure to let you know, so you don't go splat if ever you go to this address. Okay?"

"Ah, talking about addresses, Jack..."

Cutting Jonas off. "Right, time to go," I quickly folded the piece of paper and stuffed it into one of my many pockets, before Jonas wanted a copy of the list.

The event horizon had just settled into place. It was a valid address, and that is always a good start. I shook Jonas' hand. "See you around, Jonas."

"Bye, Jack. Thanks again for your help."

"Hey, you know, only too pleased to wrestle a giant green tribble for you."

With that said I quickly turned on my heel and marched up through the gate, chanting to myself the whole way, _'I will not go splat, I will not go splat.' _Clutching my P-90 ready to use if needed, I stepped through the blue puddle.

My boot landed on soft dry dirt. The other one followed. The sucking sound popped behind me as the Stargate shut down. Quickly I scanned all around me, checking for any danger. I really missed the back up of my team. It was going to be interesting doing it this way.

The scenery was different, if not a little boring. The land undulated with small hills and was covered in small scrubby green brush. There was a distinct smell of sulphur in the air. There was no sound of animals or birds, but a quiet whooshing noise and small plopping sounds were coming from just over a small ridge.

Making my way carefully, I climbed up to the small ridge, pulling out my monocular as I went. The ridge was made of hard white rock that was smooth and slippery to the touch, making it hard going. The sky was overcast with clouds and the air was cold. When I reached down to push off the rock to lever myself up a steep part of the trail, the ground was warm to the touch. As I drew closer to the brow of the ridge, the plopping noise became louder.

When I reached the top, I crouched down and cautiously peered over the edge. Below me was a vast valley, full of dark green scrub. Wisps of smoke or cloud hung low over the bushes, wafting gently in the breeze. Looking down at the source of the unusual noise, I saw a large round pond. It was full of dark grey boiling mud. It danced and jumped as the gasses below bubbled up to the surface, making a plop each time the gas was released into the air. The sulphur smell was very strong. There was a large blackened tree growing beside the pool. How it managed to survive I could not work out. A large branch overhung the pool, its leaves covered in a white ash-like substance.

I lifted my monocular up to my eye and scanned the surrounding area. There was no sign of life, except for a large building on the other side of the valley. Quickly standing up, I carefully made my way around the boiling mud pool and worked my way down to another trail that led through the brush. I still hadn't seen what had made the trails, but something must have, because they seemed to lead through the dense bushes.

I was half way across the valley, when I felt the ground begin to shake. Crouching down so I wouldn't lose my balance, I waited until the tremor subsided. But it didn't. A loud whooshing sound was increasing and seemed to be coming closer to where I was. Without warning, a large spout of water shot up out of an outcrop of rock and straight up into the air. It seemed to last forever, before the water fell straight back down again. Too late, I made a dive for cover. I was drenched in warm sulphuric water, thankful that the cold air had cooled down the boiling water before it had landed on me.

Slowly, I stood up. It was quiet and there was no sign that it had happened, except for the surrounding ground running with rivulets of water through the dry dust. Oh and of course one smelly, wet, retired United States Air Force General. I banged the water out of my hat on my leg and then placed it back on my head. I was definitely beginning to feel the cold now. I could feel a trickle of water working its way down my neck between my shoulder blades. Pulling my pack closer to my back, promptly soaking the drop of water into my clothes, I continued on down the track towards my goal.

At first I thought I saw something out of the corner of my eye, but when I whipped my head around, there was nothing there. Just the dark green bushes covered in that sulphuric grey dust. I was beginning to wonder if the fumes were getting to me, because a few moments later I thought I saw something again. I waited for ten minutes without moving, but there was nothing there. Well, nothing that I could see.

It had taken me two hours to traverse the valley to the building. It was derelict, no one was living here and there weren't any human tracks surrounding the building. There were small bird-like scratches on the dirt ground in the front of the building, but I couldn't see what had made them. I thought maybe they were insects - little did I know how close I was to the truth.

I pulled out my flashlight and switched it on as I peered in through the open doorway. The building was large and empty. Moving further in, I could see a long low bench along the far wall. I quietly moved to the back of the building, sweeping the interior with my flashlight, aiming my hand gun with the light. The bench was covered in a fine dust, which was all lumpy and uneven. With my unsheathed knife, I prodded the dust with the handle; pushing the dirt aside, revealing canvas. Putting the knife away, I gently lifted the canvas and peeled it back off the bench. A cloud of dust billowed up into the room, sending me into a fit of coughing. I quickly lifted my other arm up and placed the sleeve of my jacket over my mouth and nose. What was in front of me would have kept Carter going for several months. The amount of doohickeys that were scattered across the bench was amazing.

Once the dust had settled, I was able to lower my arm. Lifting a few of the objects in my hands I carefully studied them before placing them into my pack. Some were obviously beyond any use as the sulphuric atmosphere had corroded them. In fact I was quite disappointed that out of all the objects on the bench, there were only three that could be of any use. One of them lit up when I touched it and went dark when I quickly dropped it back on the bench. Quickly I looked around and behind me, making sure that I hadn't awoken anything by touching this small gadget. Luckily I hadn't, so I gingerly lifted it again and placed it gently into my pack.

There was nothing else of use, no writing on the walls that I could take photographs of for Daniel and no more doohickeys for Doctor Lee. After placing everything back in my pack, I started back out into the light. As I passed through the doorway, something caught my eye. Just along the wall inside the door was a large wooden box. It looked rotted and broken, but you never know there might have been something of use in there. The light from the doorway rested on the front of the box. Quickly turning back into the building I knelt down on one knee and fiddled around the front of the box. There was a catch, but it was hard to release because of the corrosion on the metal. With a large thump on the edge, it was released and I lifted the lid up.

Now you must remember that I am a seasoned soldier. I have faced snake infested monsters, been tortured by Baal and fought hand to hand with the best of them. But there is one thing on this Earth or any planet for that matter, which I really do not like and that is bugs. Okay, the Earth ones can be cute - they just scurry here and there and mind their own business half the time. But the ones that we have come across off world, well they are a completely different story. At this moment, I think I would have preferred to come face to face with a replicator.

As soon as the lid was up, the black swirling mass that was inside crawled out over the sides and up my legs, onto me. And I was running, hitting the things off with my bare hands. They were big, their shiny black bodies about the size of a golf ball. Their bright green long legs scurried and clawed at the material of my pants. I was covered in them. I ran outside into the light, my feet were knocked out from under me and I crashed to the ground onto my back. I regretted putting the hard containers against the back of my pack as they dug hard into my spine.

The spiders momentarily forgotten, I looked into a small grey face as it peered closely at me. Then there was another, crowding in beside it, and then a flash of light and everything went black.

I could hear a chattering noise before I could see anything. My head was pounding as I felt the blood thumping itself around my skull. I was hot, even though I was only wearing my pants and t-shirt. Opening my eyes I peered through mist and steam. A loud plop sounded just by my ear. Twisting around, I looked at the source of the sound. That was when I realized I was hanging upside down, over a mud pool. Whether it was the one I had seen before I had no idea, they all looked the same to me; hot, smelly and very muddy. Looking up my body I could see that my arms were tied to my torso and I was strung up by my ankles by a very insecure looking rope. The rope was attached to a long branch that came out from a large blackened tree. I recognized this place. I started to twist and struggle a bit but stopped as the knot by my ankles slipped slightly and I moved closer to the boiling mud.

Hanging very still, I dared not move. I carefully looked around, trying to see a way to escape, when suddenly, I dipped and swayed. Looking up at the rope, thankfully, I could see it was still fastened. Then I saw a movement above on the branch. It looked like a small hairless grey monkey, but without a tail. It was chattering and bouncing up and down on the branch. I was sure it was laughing at me. Then another one joined its friend and the branch lowered me closer to the boiling mud. In horror I saw more of these creatures climbing up the tree; they were all going to climb onto the branch.

"Hey, you can see a man have his head boiled from the bank, you know."

They chattered even louder and more sprung onto the branch, and my head was getting hotter and hotter. At first I thought they were innocent bystanders, until one of them bent down and refastened the rope onto my ankles, making it more secure. I was partially relieved, but then that meant these guys meant business. One of them I found particularly annoying as he bounced up and down on the branch, taking me dangerously close to the pool.

That was when I heard the sound of horse's hooves. Twisting my body around, I looked behind me. Six mounted men were galloping up along the track towards the tree, and the little creatures became very agitated by their presence.

"Hey you guys, I need a little help here!" I yelled across to the bank. One, who I pegged as the leader, glanced over at me before bending down over my pack to prod and poke around the gear. As he straightened up, I noticed he had all my stuff in his hands and he tied them to the saddle of his horse.

"Oy! That's my stuff. Leave it alone."

He walked towards the tree as though he hadn't heard me. Reaching up with one large hand, he grabbed one of the creatures by the scruff of its neck and shook it hard. It squealed with fright and all the other creatures went quiet. The man growled at the creatures and shook the one in his hand again, making it squeal and chatter extra loudly.

Then the worst thing I could imagine happened - well not quite the worst, but it felt like it at the time. All of the remaining creatures clambered onto to the branch. As I dipped lower and lower, I felt my hair brush along the sticky mud. All I needed at that moment was a large gas release below my head and then it would be cooked general for lunch.

Shutting my eyes tight, I waited for the extra large plop that would be the end of me, but instead I felt myself moving up through the air towards the tree branch. Opening my eyes, I watched, amazed, as all the creatures tugged on the rope and hoisted me onto the branch. It was not comfortable, that was for sure, but a lot more desirable than hanging over a boiling hot mud bath. Then they lifted me up onto their hands above their heads and carried me down the branch and lowered me down onto the ground, not too gently I might add. Now I know how ants carry their food around.

I looked up at the man that still had the creature by the scruff of the neck. "Thanks, I was getting a little overheated there."

His reply was a scowl and a grunt, before he walked slowly around me. I began to wonder if I had hopped out of the frying pan into the fire, so to speak. I followed his movement slowly with my eyes, waiting for him to actually say something. He snorted then grinned and gestured to one of the creatures nearby. None of them moved, so he shook the helpless creature that was still hanging from his large paw. One of them quickly moved towards me and untied my bonds.

As soon as my feet were free, the man dropped the creature and moved towards me. I never found out what happened to the creatures, because the next thing I knew, his foot met my chest and I was knocked flat back onto the ground. A grunt escaped me as I hit the dirt. I quickly spun around onto my feet, but was met with another kick from a totally different direction, this time it got me in the side. I heard and felt the rib crack as the foot made contact.

I grunted in pain, gasping for breath. Trying not to cough, I crouched over the dusty ground trying to regain some kind of strength. I started to climb back up to my feet, but was kicked to the ground again.

There were six of them, and they all took turns. Realizing that I was not going to be able to fight my way out of this one, I curled up into a ball and tried to protect my head the best I could with my arms. The pain shot up into my shoulder as I heard the bone crack in my wrist. Then another sharp pain in my hip. Then my back. I heard the yell and whoop before someone jumped on my leg. The snap of broken bone echoed around the valley, mingled with my screams of pain. They seemed to avoid my head, for which I was partly grateful because that could have killed me, but the thought of being knocked unconscious does have its attraction when you are being beaten to death. I got my wish when a badly aimed kick caught me in the face, bright light exploded in my brain and it went dark.

There was a familiar smell, I couldn't work out what it was, but I had smelled it before. I was moving, how I wasn't sure. My whole body was wracked with pain as I joggled and bounced my way along. Opening my eyes - correct that, my eye as one wouldn't open - I could see the ground moving past. Now I knew what that smell was, it was horse. I had been slung over the back of a horse, legs down one side and torso down the other. It hurt. Coughing in the dust, sharp pain assaulted my ribs and everything else that was attached to me. I groaned.

A guttural sound came from behind me and I felt something hard come down on my back. _'Yes, I get the message. If you are going to die, do it quietly.' _I began to wonder if maybe they liked to tenderize their meat before eating, so they beat it. I couldn't think of any other reason that they had kept me alive and not tipped me into the nearest mud hole.

My mind began to wander as I bounced along the rough track. A small feeling of regret and wishful thinking about the soft leather chair back at the SGC trickled through me. And then Sam's smiling face danced before my eyes and I immediately squashed that feeling. This is what I wanted, so if I didn't like it I would have to put up with it. The horse stumbled and I tried to stifle a cry of pain as my broken leg banged against my other one. The passing ground slowly faded to grey just before I passed out.

I came to just as the horse stopped, although the pain unfortunately didn't. I could hear the thump of feet as the men dismounted their horses. Two well worn boots appeared in my vision, from where I hung face down. Without any warning, a hand grabbed the belt of my pants and yanked me off the horse, causing me to fall into an agonizing crumpled heap on the ground. I lay as still as I could. Maybe if they thought I was dead they would leave me alone. I could hear a sound, a familiar sound as the chevrons locked into place. Then the kawoosh as the Stargate burst into life.

Once again, I felt the man grab the belt of my pants and lift me upright. The ground began to spin and sway in this different position and a sharp shooting pain shot up my leg, I looked down at my leg to see bone protruding from my shin. _'Uh oh, this doesn't look too good.' _Fortunately, my captor still had a firm hold of my belt. He slung me over his shoulder, once again causing me to cry out in pain. He carried me a short distance and then stopped. I could feel and hear the Stargate event horizon oscillating right beside me. He pulled me down off his shoulder and supported me. I watched mesmerized as one of his henchmen threw all my gear through the Stargate, my pack, my jacket, my boots and my P-90. I groggily turned my head around and looked at the man that was holding me up.

He poked his dirty stubby finger into my chest and spoke gruffly in a language I had never heard before. He nodded once and then lifted me bodily up into the air. The next thing I knew, I was sailing through the air and then was traveling through the wormhole at great velocity. As I came out the other side, I vaguely recall blue sky, warmth and lots of people and it was very white. Then it was dark.

_DISCLAIMER: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions and Gekko Productions. This story has been written for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations and story are the property of the authors._


	8. Chapter 8

**Memoirs of Brigadier General Jack O'Neill**

(Retired)

**Part III**

**Chapter One**

2005

Now I knew I was not dead. How? Well, because of the pain that permeated my whole being. Wherever I was, it was warm and it actually smelled nice. No sulphur pools or putrid giant tribbles, just the nice aroma of baking bread wafting in over me.

Slowly I opened one eye, the other one once again wouldn't co-operate. The room was a pale cream colour and sparsely decorated. The ceiling was high and colourless in the dim light. Cautiously I turned my head, feeling no shooting pain anywhere, so I continued turning it. I was in a small room; a wooden chair and a small table were just by my bed. Looking down at the foot of the bed, I noticed my leg was strapped up, hanging in traction. _'Someone seemed to know what they were doing then.' _My mouth was dry and felt like the Sahara desert. I tried to sit up, but one; my leg wouldn't let me and two; sharp multiple stabs of pain shot through my chest. I didn't even get to three as I sank back onto the pillows in a cold sweat. I could taste the bile as great waves of nausea assaulted my innards. The last thing broken ribs needed was to be jostled around by someone puking all over the place.

"Yia soo, ehis zipnissi."

"Huh?" I lifted my head off the pillow and watched as a middle aged woman walked gracefully into the room. She was holding a tray which had steam rising from the middle of it.

"Hello, my name is Jack. Where am I?"

She gave a small smile and spoke very slowly, as though to a child.

"Faye." She placed the tray on the small table and sat down beside me. Smiling again, she repeated the strange word, "Faye." Holding a bowl of steaming broth under my chin, she started to spoon feed me.

Very gently, I moved her arm away with my one good hand. "Erm…thanks, but no thanks. I can feed myself," I protested. I tried to sit up; once again the waves of nausea assaulted me as the pain shot through my chest.

She patiently waited and then spoke again. "Faye." This time I let her. I knew I needed some kind of food in me and I was in no position to fight it.

When I had finished, she sat quietly as I fought the strong waves of nausea. I heard a rustle of clothing, and then I started to heave. She was right there with a bowl to catch everything. The pain was excruciating as the spasms wracked my battered body. The room rocked and spun dangerously and the heaving was the only thing stopping me from passing out. Finally the vomiting stopped, and I sank back exhausted on the bed. The woman quietly left the room.

_The ground was unstable; it rocked and bucked under my feet as I ran full tilt towards her. Behind me, three large fluffy green balls were rolling down a hill after me, emitting a high pitched squealing noise. I ran faster, jumping across large boiling puddles and small streams. Sweat was soaking my clothes, making them stick to my skin, restricting my movement. _

_I found myself standing on a solid rock in the middle of a large pool of boiling mud. Out of reach, Sam was clinging to a protruding rock. She was slowly losing her grip and was slipping towards the boiling mass. I screamed out her name, "Sam."_

"Sam! Hang on a bit longer, hang on." Strong hands restrained me and pushed me back onto the bed.

"Shhh..." I didn't understand, nor do I remember, the words that followed.

Opening my eyes I stared up into the face of the woman that had been there before. With her was a young man who was holding me down. He smiled and slowly stood up releasing me from the painful pressure.

Nodding my thanks, I lay still, waiting for the dream to fade from my memory. The two people were still standing watching me, so I made a start. "I'm Jack." I pointed to my chest.

They both frowned and muttered to each other. Then they both nodded and turned back to me.

The woman pointed to herself and said, "Mariam." She looked at me to see that I understood and then pointed to the young man, "Eimon."

I nodded as I pointed to myself again. "Jack."

Well, we had got that sorted out. At least I knew what their names were. From then on it was pretty much all up hill. I certainly could have done with Jacob and his healing device, but he wasn't here, so I had to make do with the old fashioned way.

At first I enjoyed the fuss and security of this home. Mariam and her son, Eimon, were kind and considerate. Although they had many servants, they still took care of me personally. It wasn't until the third day that I met Mariam's suitor. He was the local medical doctor, which explained where all the medical knowledge had come from. He was a tall grey haired man, most probably in his mid sixties, with a kind and gentle face. He checked over my injuries and re-adjusted the traction for my leg.

"I'm sorry I wasn't here earlier, but I was called away on an emergency."

"You speak English," I said, shocked and relieved at the same time.

"I haven't heard that word before. We call it the 'universal tongue'. There is a wide community of planets that speak a variety of tongues, but this one and our native tongue are the most used."

"Greek?" I asked.

He stopped what he was doing and frowned, "I don't think I have heard that word either."

"Hi, my name is Jack." I held out my right hand to shake his. He immediately grasped my elbow, so my hand automatically clasped his.

"I am called Alexander and this is our universal greeting also," he informed me before letting go of my arm.

"I've come across it before."

He continued to check out my injuries.

"So, Alexander, what's wrong?" I asked as I waved an arm over my body.

"You have a spasmenno leg here," He pointed to my thigh. "Several cracked and two broken ribs and klonismos here," He pointed to my head.

'_And that tells me what?' _Now being none the wiser, I shifted slightly in the bed, not able to make myself comfortable. "How long will I be stuck here?" I grumbled.

He looked at me sharply, then smiled quietly, "Several minness," he answered quietly.

"Minness?" I queried this as I did need an answer.

"Minna is one cycle of the moon," He answered.

"Ah, thank you," then groaned as I'm sure he had said 'several'.

"Jack, you must do as Mariam tells you, or you will not heal quickly."

Uh oh, this man had been going to the same school as Doc Fraiser.

I nodded quickly. "I have nothing to pay you with, but-"

He stopped me. "Not necessary I expect one day you will repay us, not in gold, but with some deed."

Just then, Mariam walked into the room. She leaned close to Alexander and spoke quickly in his ear. He turned to me, "Don't concern yourself about it, I will see you again." He glanced at Mariam, "tomorrow." With that said, they both left the room together, talking away in their language, which sounded suspiciously like Greek to me.

Shifting uncomfortably on the bed again, mainly to let blood flow back into a certain numb place, I looked around the small room. _'Yup, this room is going to get old very soon.'_

Between dozing and not trying to think too hard about things, the day slowly passed with the tedium only interrupted by a tray of food brought in by Mariam who didn't seem to understand a word of what I spoke and of whom I didn't understand much either.

After the evening meal, Eimon walked in carrying a board under his arm and a wooden box in his hand. Snagging the chair over with his foot, he sat down and placed the opened board on the bed beside where I lay.

"Jack, play game?"

I smiled. Not only did Eimon know a little universal tongue, but he was unpacking what looked like Backgammon. Life suddenly started having an upside.

Six weeks later, I was hobbling around my room, tidying up a few things when I heard laughter and joyful cries coming from another part of the house. Grabbing my crutches, I hopped out into the main hallway and hesitated. I still got lost in this mansion, its large stone walls and many rooms seemed like a maze to me. Following the sound, I finally found myself in the large comfortable kitchen.

This house was unusual in regards to servants and normal protocol. I watched while I leaned against the wall near some large urns in which they stored the wine, as Eimon and a young girl were being hugged by the cook and maids, and the male servants were busily slapping him on the back. Something was up.

I noticed Mariam standing to one side smiling at the exuberance of her staff. Fortunately for me, Alexander arrived and filled me in on what had happened. Eimon and Lisle were to be betrothed and the great wedding would be in three months time.

Apparently it wasn't just love that was being celebrated, but two large shipping companies would finally merge. Something I had found out in the last six weeks was that Mariam and her son were extremely wealthy. Mariam not only owned many factories that spun and wove silk, but also her late husband had owned one of the largest shipping companies in Ellatha. It had been left to Eimon, for when he came of age and was married. This would be good for trade as Lisle was the only child of the man that owned the other shipping company. Eventually both companies would be owned and operated by this young couple being heartily congratulated by the boot boy. I use the words 'boot boy' loosely as he was most probably ten years older than me.

Hobbling forward, I joined in the congratulations and couldn't help myself as I turned to the cook, "Will there be cake?"

She smiled. "For you, Jack. Yes," she said and laughed heartily.

Although I had congratulated Eimon's new bride to be, I hadn't been formally introduced. For this, Mariam came forward and introduced me.

"I have heard much of you, Jack." Lisle smiled shyly.

I grinned at Eimon and, leaving him to the festivities, I hopped out the kitchen after Alexander; I had some more questions that needed answering.

I caught up with him just as he was leaving through the front door.

"Alexander. Do you have a minute?" He stopped and turned around. He looked sad, then the sadness lifted and he walked towards me.

"Of course, Jack. Come, we will talk in here." He led me into a small sitting room. Light filtered through the open windows and large couches were placed strategically in the centre of the room. I carefully sat down. My ribs, though healed, still ached sometimes and my leg was taking longer than expected.

"That planet I was thrown off, do you know anything about it?"

He looked thoughtful before starting to speak, "The planet that you were on is a no go area."

'_Ya think?'_

The humans that live on that planet do not want to be part of the planet community and they didn't like anyone interfering with their property."

"What, those little grey pests were their property? Good luck to them. And anyway, I wasn't interfering with their property. It was more the other way around."

He shrugged his shoulders before continuing, "We have given up trying to understand their way of thinking. You are lucky that you came through alive! Any young men that have tried to go there have come back dead."

I risked another question, something a little more personal. "You and Mariam, there is something?" I waved a hand in the air to emphasis my point, and to take away my embarrassment about asking such a pointed question. The sadness came back on Alexander's face. "Sorry, I shouldn't pry," I said, trying to dismiss the question.

"No, it is all right, Jack. Until Eimon is married, Mariam is not free to marry, or she will lose the shipping company to a distant cousin."

I was confused; I frowned and shook my head slightly.

He continued to explain, "It was part of her late husband's will, to protect her really, to stop greedy men trying to steal Eimon's inheritance. He died when Eimon was only two years old, I was there when he died; he was a good man and loved Mariam very much." He stopped in thought for a while before continuing. "He was afraid that she would be treated badly by someone, so it was written into the documents that if Mariam married someone else before Eimon was to come of age the shipping company would be left to a cousin that lived on a distant planet. Eimon would lose everything. Eimon's father knew that Mariam would never jeopardize her son's future. And we have just found out there is a loophole in the wording of the will. So…" he shrugged, "we have to wait and now I'm not sure that it will happen."

"Why?"

"The cousin has first rights to Mariam and he has heard about the will and that Eimon is now to be married. I am old and not a warrior, how can I fight this man for Mariam." He let out a small sigh.

"This cousin, who is he and what can you tell me about him?"

"Not much, but he is an oplopios. You know someone who makes weapons for the warriors."

"Crap."

He looked up startled, "I don't know what that means, but I can guess." He gave me a wry grin. "The biggest problem is that he is twenty years younger than me; there is no way I could win in a fight. And because of this stupid document, Mariam has to marry him and he will get the shipping company until Eimon comes of age or marries. To be honest I can't quite work out what this cousin has to gain out of this, but marrying Mariam – unless he will sell the company in between the weddings." He groaned and threw up his hands in the air. "All I know is that we have had lawyers look at the document and they can see no way out of it, unless I fight him for her."

A small germ of an idea started to take seed in the back of my brain as I closed the door after Alexander had left. I owed these people not only my life, but my well being too. I had healed slowly and cleanly, my leg was straight, not bent or permanently damaged. My ribs, though still sore, had healed well and my spirit was calm. Although I still dreamed, the terrifying nightmares had ceased. Sam still filled my dreams, but they weren't so bad that it left me in a cold sweat. I started to get myself back into shape. There would be pain and hard work, but I had never been afraid of either.

Two months had gone by and Eimon's wedding was getting closer. By now, all the townspeople knew who I was, 'the mad man that ran through the streets twice a day.' I had changed my hard leather boots for the more soft supple ones that were made by the young apprentice cobbler. They didn't cost me anything because he was pleased for me to tell everyone who asked that Maroc the cobbler had made them for me. I received some strange looks from Mariam and Eimon, but I didn't tell them what I had in mind. I never saw much of Alexander - only if someone in the home was ill, would he then call. Through all the excitement of the preparations for the wedding, a sadness permeated Mariam as she went about her duties.

Not once did they ask me to leave. I was perfectly well and healthy enough to go, but I stayed. I hoped they thought it was because I was staying for the wedding, but they didn't know the real reason.

Four days before the wedding, I heard a crash in the hallway. I had just come in from my run and was on my way to the baths. Even though it was early in the morning, it was already extremely hot out there. I padded out to the hallway in my bare feet and stopped as a small urn lay smashed on the floor. Standing in the middle of the mess was Mariam, with a large piece of parchment in her hand and red drops of blood dripping onto the floor from a cut on her hand.

"Mariam?" I asked, I wanted to help, but I couldn't move. I was stuck because of the broken pottery.

She looked up at me, her eyes stricken. "He is coming."

"Who?"

"My late husband's cousin. He is coming to take what is his to claim." Her bottom lip had started to tremble.

"Come here; you are hurt." I reached out my hand to her. She carefully walked between the broken shards and took my hand. I pulled her into an embrace, handed her a handkerchief for her cut hand and looked at the parchment. It was not written in my 'universal tongue'. It hadn't taken Mariam and Eimon long to learn English after my arrival, which made life a lot easier for me, even though I could now speak and understand Greek quite well if I had to.

"He wants the shipping company or I have to marry him. At least married to him, I could keep Eimon involved." She sat down on one of the hall benches. I sat down beside her.

"You won't have to give in to him. Eimon will be married in four days, and then he will not be able to touch it."

"Jack you don't understand. He will-" Tears had started to fill her eyes, threatening to spill over.

I pulled her close again and held her tight. "I do understand, Mariam, and you will not lose the shipping company, or have to marry him I promise."

As I watched her movements over the next four days, I realized that she hadn't understood what I was saying. I was in a quandary, should I tell them what I was going to do or not? It was the day before the wedding that I made the decision not to tell. I had just come in from speaking with the local sword smith. He was a large man who had taught me the art of sword fighting and my muscles ached from the extra hard workout. The sword was different to what I had seen before, it was short and wide, almost like a very long knife. I needed to know any secrets that these people knew regarding the art of sword fighting.

Alexander was arguing with Mariam in the hallway. All the servants had gone up the other end of the house to give them some privacy. But no, not Jack O'Neill. He barged in there and made a nuisance of himself.

"Is everything all right?"

They stopped and stared at me. Alexander was angry. "Jack, this is none of your business, go away." I stood my ground. Mariam had been crying.

"Mariam, are you okay?"

She nodded, "Please, Jack. Leave us."

I didn't move, I watched mesmerized as she spoke to Alexander, "I will marry him, I have no choice."

"You can't do this. Come away with me."

"Then he will take Eimon's future, at least this way he has a chance." She shook her head.

"I don't care what you say, Mariam, you will not marry him!" Alexander yelled at her, before he wrenched open the solid wooden door at the end of the hallway and slammed it shut behind him.

I turned and walked down to my room. I quickly gathered some writing tools and parchment; I just hoped that I could make myself understood.

The following morning it was as though nothing had happened. Mariam was singing around the house, with garlands in her hair and decorating her clothes. A new suit had been put out for me to wear, if you could call a short dress, though they called them tunics, a suit. I chose to wear my BDU's which were neatly pressed and you could barely see where Mariam had sewn up the tears and holes. I carefully laced up my boots that I had brushed to a brilliant shine.

Mariam frowned at my attire, but I think she had enough to worry about without trying to get me to put something on that I would never wear.

As the party approached the great hall where the ceremony and celebrations were to be held, a large man - and I mean large - wearing the short kilt similar to what Mariam had tried to get me to wear, walked up to Mariam.

"Mariam, wife of the late Eimon?" he asked.

She nodded, "I am she." I saw her square her shoulders.

Eimon spun around on the spot, he was frowning. They had kept this from him.

I slowly began to work my way towards Mariam.

The large man stood still, then drew in a deep breath, "Who dares to challenge me, Thomas, to the right of marrying this woman?" he bellowed.

I felt the usual tingle in the palms of my hands before battle so I clenched them tightly. This sword smith was big, way bigger than I had imagined.

"I do."

A strong voice came from amongst the crowd. I watched in surprise as Alexander, kitted out in kilt and sword strode confidently up to Thomas. "I, Alexander, will fight you for this woman."

He looked down at Alexander and leaned back and roared with laughter. "You are not who challenged me." He strode forward and pushed Alexander over, so he fell into a dusty heap on the ground.

It was time to make my appearance.

"What about me, knuckle head?"

I heard a gasp, then my name. "Jack!"

I saw Mariam slowly shake her head as Eimon pulled her out of the way, "What's going on, Mama?"

Thomas quickly dropped to a crouch and started to circle me. I had been tempted to just take my P-90 and drop him where he stood, but somehow I didn't think that would go down very well and I might be killed for breaking some rules. So I too dropped to a crouch and followed his movements. The short sharp sword felt comforting strapped to my back under my jacket. All I had to do was reach up and pull it from its sheath.

Although Thomas was a big man, he was light on his feet. The area that had cleared was dry sand, of this I was thankful as the cobblestones would have been hard to fall on. Little swirls of dust were left behind as he moved quickly behind me. I heard the scrape of metal against metal as he removed his sword from its sheath. I twisted around to face him, only just managing to dodge his lunging sword that was aimed at my stomach. I tried to shut out the sound of the crowd murmuring at the near miss.

I reached up behind me and drew out my sword from the soft leather sheath that was hidden under my jacket. I had chosen leather as I didn't want to be hindered by a metal scabbard which could restrict my movements. It didn't seem to bother Thomas; I could see his strapped to his back as he twisted out the way of my attempt at swiping my sword across his chest. At each lunge and parry we managed to avoid injury. The heat of the day had increased and I was pleased to see he was beginning to sweat and pant slightly. Although I too was sweating, my energy was not waning.

The clang of the swords echoed around the square as our blades crashed together. Silently thankful to my smithy friend for a well made sword as the cross bar protected my hand from my adversary's blade as it slid up to the handle. This was when I was at a disadvantage as Thomas' extra weight pushed me back. I lost my footing and crashed onto the ground. Great billows of dust puffed up around me obscuring my vision for mere seconds, only settling in time to see his great sword coming towards me.


	9. Chapter 9

**Memoirs of Brigadier General Jack O'Neill**

(Retired)

**Part III**

**Chapter Two**

_2025_

"_I'll be out soon, just have some more to write down."_

"_Okay, Jack. How's it going?"_

"_So so. Actually, I'm at a really exciting bit."_

"_Oooh, can I see?"_

"_Nope, remember what you said. That no one would ever get to see this; I assumed this included you… Hey, why the sad face?"_

"_Nothing, I just thought you would share some of it, that's all."_

"_If I thought I had to share any of it, I won't be able to write it down." _

"_I understand, I think."_

"_Hey, how about I pick out some of the good stuff for you to read? Happy?"_

2005

I rolled to the side and felt a sharp pain slice into my left arm. I glanced at the blood soaking into my sleeve before jumping to my feet. He showed surprise on his face at my agility and speed.

"For an old man, you are quick," he taunted.

I grinned, "Don't let this grey hair fool you," and thrust with my sword. At the same time, I hooked my boot around his ankle, tripping him over, and he fell with a crash onto his face. I fell to my knees, one of them firmly pressed into his back and my sword at his throat.

"Do you yield?" I panted out.

He tried to rise, so I pressed the blade into his throat until I saw beads of red blood fill along the sharp edge.

"Yes," he said.

"Louder, so they all hear," I pressed my knee harder into his back to make my point.

"Yes, I yield Mariam, widow of Eimon, to Jack O'Neill," he yelled.

"Not as old as you think," I carefully removed the sword and slowly stood up.

A large shout rose up as one from the crowd, and then they swarmed around me drawing me closer to Mariam. She looked confused and a little hurt at what had happened. I quickly scanned the crowd for Alexander. I saw a tall dejected figure slowly drop his sword to the ground and walk away.

"No," I rasped.

Drawing in a deep calming breath, I held up my hand to quieten the crowd. A hush fell over the townspeople.

"Who Challenges me to the right of Mariam, widow of Eimon?" I bellowed.

I watched as Alexander stopped in his tracks and turned around. I started to walk towards him and stood just two feet from his fallen sword. More quietly I repeated my question, "Who Challenges me to the right of Mariam, widow of Eimon?"

I looked directly into my friend's eyes; a look of hope and pride met mine. He quickly stepped forward and snatched up his sword.

"I, Alexander, will challenge you, Jack O'Neill for the right of Mariam, widow of Eimon."

Immediately, I dropped to a crouch and started to circle around him, with him following suit. He made the first lunge at me and we clashed swords.

"I will stitch that up later, Jack," he muttered to me as we broke apart, referring to my injured arm.

At first I thought the fight would be short, that I would have to take a dive early on, but I was wrong. This man was an excellent swordsman, just not well practiced. I found myself tiring very quickly. After fighting Thomas, no rest and my small injury it was taking its toll on my body. Sweat dripped down into my eyes, I was concerned that I would get too tired and make an error and hurt this kind man. But, again I was wrong. Just as I was ready to take a dive, pain exploded in my knee and I came crashing down to the ground. Alexander was kneeling on my chest, sword at my throat.

"Do you yield?" he asked in between drawing in large gulps of air.

I nodded as the pain in my knee was making it too hard to speak.

"Jack, you have to speak," he whispered.

"I yield," my voice sounded tight with pain.

A half-hearted cheer went up as the townspeople weren't quite sure what had happened.

Alexander slowly stood up and helped me to stand. I grimaced as the movement sent a sharp shooting pain into my damaged knee.

"Oh," he said, as he looked at me and saw my pain. "Did I do that?"

"Yup. You won fair and square on that one," I said.

Finally, after hopping alongside Alexander, we got to Mariam, who was crying.

"What were you thinking of?" she crossly asked, still wiping at her eyes.

"Mama?" Eimon ran up to us. "The ceremony." He looked at us puzzled, saw the blood on my arm then looked at Alexander. Just before he took his mother away, he gave us a quick smile. "Talk to you later, Jack."

"Can we be excused?" Alexander asked.

Eimon nodded and smiled at us again, "You will come to the celebrations?" We both nodded in unison.

Alexander quickly helped me to his house as it was the closest out of his and Mariam's. He kept a small room specifically for patients and he helped me in onto a low couch. I noticed he washed his hands thoroughly before attending to my arm. He cleaned the wound and started to sew up the sliced flesh of my upper arm. He had previously swiped the area with some liquid that deadened the nerves to his administrations. One of his servants brought in a tray with a jug of wine and two goblets on it. It was just what I needed as I was parched.

"Please," he pointed to my pants, "remove those. I need to look at the knee." I obliged and he started to prod and poke at my swollen knee. When he had finished he sat down with a tired 'oomph'.

"What's up, Doc?" He ignored my use of Doc; he was used to me by now.

"I can fix that, but I need to cut it open."

"Wha… pardon?"

He sounded tired and slightly annoyed as he answered, "I thought you would trust me enough to let me cut you open." He shrugged his shoulders.

"No, not that, I've had surgery before. I mean you can fix my knee, permanently?"

"I can't see why not," he replied sounding a little brighter at my reaction, "Many warriors seem to suffer from this problem, and I have fixed quite a few in my time."

"I've had three surgeries on that knee and it still lets me down."

He didn't look surprised at my words. "Yes, but your healer most probably didn't know what I know. There is an excellent drug that will help with the healing, but I won't hide the truth from you, it will be extremely painful for several weeks."

"I'm used to that," I replied.

As we walked along the cobbled road to the wedding celebrations, Alexander spoke to me about the challenges, "You had planned this all along hadn't you, Jack?"

"Yes."

"Thank you, but you could have been killed."

"I know, Alexander, but fighting is what I do. Although you gave me a run for my money," I grinned at him.

"Yes, sorry about the knee, I didn't know that it was your weak point."

"It's okay, just glad you found it and not Thomas."

I hopped along beside him with my borrowed crutches in companionable silence for a while.

"Why did you do it, Jack?" he blurted out. "At first I thought you wanted Mariam for yourself." He stopped walking and was moving the toe of his sandal through the dust.

"Sorry I didn't tell you, but I was afraid that you and Mariam would stop me and I had to make it look convincing or it wouldn't work." I turned away from Alexander and continued hopping to the wedding.

"But, why, Jack?"

I spun around awkwardly and almost shouted into his face, "Because I owe you, Mariam, Eimon, this town. You have saved my life. I feel whole here, rested and it is like my home," I spoke more quietly, "and because, Alexander, you are my friend - a good friend."

He placed a reassuring hand on my good arm, "Thank you, Jack." I acknowledged him with a small tilt of my head.

"Come on, we have a party to go to and another wedding to plan." A broad smile spread across his face and we continued through the streets to the large hall.

The party was in full swing when we got there. A faint fragrant smell of incense was in the air from the ceremony, only just beginning to be overpowered by the smell of wine that was in abundance as numerous servants passed it around. I couldn't see any of Mariam's household serving food and wine, and then I spotted them in a small cluster over by one of the tables. They were guests. Once again, I saw the goodness of this woman and her son. I was thankful that Thomas was not going to be a part of this family and spoil something so good.

"Jack!" Eimon called, waving me across. As I hobbled towards him I noticed a large cake made into the shape of a Grecian ship. A large piece of cake sat on a plate that he held out to me. As I took the plate he whispered, "Thank you, Jack," and looked over at his mother who was talking and laughing with Alexander.

I grinned, "They make a great couple don't they, Eimon?"

He nodded and left me to eat my cake.

The day came when I had to leave. Mariam and Alexander were to be married in six months time. I said that I would try to get back in time, but as it turned out I wouldn't be able to.

I stood by the Stargate having just pressed the middle button of the DHD and looked at the town and the people that had become very good friends. I would miss them greatly. Daniel would have been extremely happy here and maybe one day I would bring him back for a visit. Carter, now, she wouldn't, not a smidgen of technology in sight. Pain didn't quite assault me as much as it had done so previously while I thought of Carter; maybe I had healed after all.

I had said goodbye to these people earlier. My knee, thanks to Alexander, was as good as new and he had assured me that it wouldn't give out on me again. As to the other knee, he had waggled one hand from side to side. I had told him I knew where to come if it did.

Just before I stepped through the vortex of the Stargate, Eimon thrust a folded parchment into my hand, "You may need this on your travels."

"Thank you, Eimon," I shoved the paper into my pocket of my vest and quickly turned away I knew if I didn't go then I might end up staying. As I stepped through the Stargate into another world, I wasn't thinking 'splat' thoughts until I arrived on the other side. But of course by then, it was too late.

_2025_

"_Hi, Daniel. When did you get here?"_

"_Just now. How's it going?"_

"_Good actually. Hey, get away! What is it with everyone? Nosy bunch."_

"_What I want to know, is it working?"_

"_Sorta. I think." _

"_Well it is or it isn't."_

"_Daniel!"_

"_Jack!"_

"_If you really want to know, no it isn't. But apparently I haven't written enough yet."_

"_So… When do I get to see it?"_

"_You don't, that is why it is private. See, written across here; P. R. I. V. A. T. E. -private!"_

"_I can read, Jack. So, you coming?"_

"_Coming where?"_

"_To the cele-"_

_2025_

_Now, where was I? Oh yes, I had just left Mariam and Eimon. They were good people, I miss them. _

2005

For the first time that I could remember, I threw up as soon as I arrived on the other side. It wasn't as though the ride had been turbulent in any way; it was more nerves I think. The thought of going 'splat' on the other side, sort of hit me as I jogged down the steps from the Stargate. Jonas had a lot to answer for.

I pulled out my water bottle taking a large swig to wash the foul taste out of my mouth and I spat into the grass on the edge of the forest.

"Ooooh, trees!" I exclaimed sarcastically and then wiped my mouth on my sleeve.

The grass had grown high up around the Stargate, no sign of tracks anywhere. "Well that must be a good sign," I muttered to myself. I found I really missed company; apart from my sad adventure on the mud planet I hadn't been on my own much yet. This was something I was going to have to get used to very soon.

Wading through the long grass, I made my way around the forest. A little wary of what might lurk in those dark depths, I kept well away from the edge of it.

After a short walk, I came upon a wide well-traveled looking dirt road. I started walking along, looking for any signs of civilization on either side of the road. After four miles, it petered out into long grass - now this was weird. Looking behind me, I noticed the dirt road had disappeared and there was only long grass there. I rubbed my eyes and looked around me. There was no sign of a dirt road. I quickly looked at my feet, trodden down grass under boots was all there was to see.

"What on Earth?" I pulled off my cap and rubbed my head, and pulled the cap back on again, "Oh for crying out loud." I turned 180 degrees and started walking back the way I had come skirting the forest in the same way. I found the way difficult as the long grass was hard to push through. This was one peculiar planet. Checking the sun for position, I noticed it had moved. Instead of being behind me, it was now in front of me. The forest was still on my left, so unless the forest had sprouted legs, hopped over me and taken root on the other side, the sun must have moved.

"Okay, Jack… Take big deep breaths. Just keep the forest on your left and you will be fine."

The shadows began to increase very quickly as I watched the sun move faster than I have ever seen a sun move before. I was sure it got faster as it got closer to the horizon. Deciding that being out in the open during the night was not going to be a good idea, I looked for some shelter. The trees were definitely not an option, so I chose a small outcrop of rocks opposite the forest. Nestling my back against hard rock, I pulled out my emergency blanket, choosing to leave my sleeping bag rolled up tight and settled down for the long or maybe short night. I was not going to sleep; this planet was giving me the creeps.

I woke up as I suddenly fell flat on my back. The rock had moved and behind me was a large cave. Pulling out my flashlight, I shone it quickly around me. All I could see was long waving grass. Not liking clear space behind me, especially when I am on my own, I turned the flashlight into the cave. It was full of doohickeys - and I mean full. There were heaps of them stacked on shelves right up to the ceiling. Quickly standing up, I moved into the cave. There were zat guns, healing devices, energy crystals and what looked like information crystals too. There was machinery that I had never seen before. In the centre of the cave was a large pillar that was about eight feet tall. It was decorated by six large panels, which looked like they were made of glass. They reflected the light from my flashlight making colours dance around the room.

The strange behavior of the planet momentarily forgotten, I moved away from the pillar, and started searching through the different objects on the shelves. I made sure to be careful of what I touched and opened, I'd had enough of long legged-spiders for this year.

This was amazing, there was no way in the world that I would be able to take all this back by myself. I would have to return to Earth, tell them the coordinates and send in a retrieval team. That is if I could find my way back of course. Walking back to the entrance I looked out into the night, it was still pitch black. I quickly checked my watch; I had been asleep for twelve hours. That couldn't be right. The more I thought about how this planet had worked, the more I was concerned about what was going on and more importantly how I was going to find the Stargate.

Deciding that I couldn't do anything until daylight, I moved back into the cave. Tucked behind a box of zats, I recognized a small contraption. It was almost identical to the one that I had found on the mud planet. Moving cautiously, I reached out and touched it. It lit up with rows of lights up one side and then down the other. As I withdrew my hand, it emitted a high pitched squealing noise and a yellow light came on. Startling me, I fell back against the pillar in the centre of the room. The shelves started to spin around me getting faster and faster. I felt a familiar wave of nausea as lights started to dance around the room dipping and swaying. Closing my eyes to the swirling room, I sank to the floor.


	10. Chapter 10

**Memoirs of Brigadier General Jack O'Neill**

(Retired)

**Part IV**

**Chapter One**

_2025_

"_This is taking longer than I thought it would. Maybe I should just skip the middle and go straight to the end."_

"_Don't you dare, Jack O'Neill. Get right onto it and don't miss any of it out. Those dreams aren't getting any less frequent."_

"_Yes, Ma'am."_

I was cold, stiff and my calf muscle was beginning to cramp. I quickly stood up and pressed my whole foot down flat on the ground, relieving the knots in the calf of my leg. Once the pain had subsided, I glanced around the cave. It was empty; everything was gone, except my flashlight still clutched in my hand. My pack was still on my back; the pillar was still in the centre of the cave, but all the weapons and technological stuff had disappeared.

Looking out towards the entrance of the cave, I could see that the sun was up as light streamed in through the opening. Cautiously, I stepped out into the bright sunlight. In front of me was the same large forest, but the long grass was missing. Instead was a large bustling army camp complete with jeeps, sentries and all the paraphernalia that goes with an established camp.

I heard the click of a safety catch removed a split second before the cold metal touched the back of my neck.

"You can stand quite still, mister."

"Standing still."

"Right on the ground, real slow."

I started to bend my complaining knee.

"Put the weapons down first."

I quickly held out my empty hand, and then reached into my jacket to pull out my hand gun. I made sure I used my thumb and forefinger; I didn't want him to think I was going for my weapon to shoot him with it. He slowly worked his way around to face me. I unclipped my P-90 and deliberately lowered it to the ground alongside my hand gun. Looking up, I stared straight into the face of Lieutenant Grogan. His bottom jaw dropped, and then snapped shut.

"Who are you? Where did you come from?"

"It's me, Grogan. O'Neill."

"It can't be."

He waved his P-90 at me and gestured towards the camp. "Move."

I nodded, "You'll see, Grogan. It will all be explained. I didn't realize that you had opened up a site here. It would be good, if it wasn't for the short days and the moving forest."

"Shut it."

I couldn't understand Grogan's attitude. He knew I had gone off world to find technical stuff. My head was still groggy, so I decided to wait until we were face to face with the officer in charge.

The first person I saw as I was pushed into the tent was Daniel.

"Daniel. Did the Aztecs try to eat you too then?"

He looked up and promptly dropped the coffee cup he had been sipping from. "Jack?" Ignoring the spilled coffee that was ruining his sketches, he started to walk towards me, "We thought you were dead." He frowned. "And Aztec's don't eat you, they sacrifice their victims." He peered at me through his glasses.

"I haven't been gone that long, have I?" I rocked back on my heels and grinned.

Daniel turned to one of the airmen that stood open-mouthed staring at me, "Get the Colonel."

"Yes, sir." He scuttled off through the gathering crowd that was jammed in the doorway. Word gets around quick these days.

"Hey, Sparky!" I waved my hand at Siler as he stood just inside the doorway with a dumbfounded expression on his face.

Leaning towards Grogan, I asked conspiratorially. "Have I got something growing out of my nose or something?"

"Well you sound like Jack and you certainly look like him, but you can't be him."

"Daniel, I am him. Okay?" This was wearing a little thin by now. Surely they had seen people come back from the dead before, one more shouldn't surprise them. Anyway, why did they think I was dead?

Slowly the crowd moved apart, hopefully to let the colonel through, then we could get this sorted out.

The sun half-blinded me as the colonel stood in the doorway, just a shadow in the bright light. As the officer in charge moved into the tent, and when I saw who it was, my heart started to pound and my mouth went dry.

Then it hit me, the pillar with the mirrors around it. I wasn't in my own universe; this was a different one, one where Sam was alive.

She stopped and stared for a moment, swallowed and barked out an order, "Everyone back to your duties."

They quickly melted into the shadows, Daniel stayed with his arms across his chest hugging himself. _'Yup, same Daniel here as well." _

Carter moved closer and stared. "Is it you?"

"Yes and, um…No!"

"Well, you have to be one or the other. You can't be both."

I dragged my gaze away from Sam, "Daniel, have you heard of alternate universes?"

I heard a gasp from Sam. "How?"

"The pillar covered in mirrors back there." I jerked my thumb in the general direction of the cave.

"We didn't know what that was; it didn't have any writing on it or…" She stopped and stared at me again. Now this was interesting, a Carter totally lost for words?

"So," I said as I rubbed my hands together, "any chance of some breakfast? I'm starving." I gave them my usual O'Neill grin that belied my true feeling of pain and confusion of seeing Sam alive.

I heard the indrawn breath from Daniel's direction, and waited for the lecture. "Is that all you can think of Jack, food? Our world is destroyed, we are all that is left and all you can think of is yourself."

I was shocked at Daniel's words. "What happened?"

"First of all, Jack, Anubis came in his big ships and annihilated everything on Earth; we only just made it out of there in time."

"Didn't you find the Lost City?" I asked.

"No, Jack. Why do you…"

"Daniel. That is enough. We don't know if it is really Colonel O'Neill yet," Carter interrupted.

"Oh, yes, you are right, Sam. Sorry." He smiled apologetically at me and started fiddling with his sketches, trying to clean up the mess.

"So, Carter, now what?" I asked. I was feeling a little annoyed, frustrated, and hungry. I looked longingly over at my pack that was sitting on one of the tables. Mariam's homemade egg pie would still be good to eat and it wasn't doing anyone any good stuck in there.

"You will be checked out by our medical staff. I want to know that you are who you say you are first."

Just then, Janet Fraiser came rushing into the tent, "Is it true, Sam?" She skidded to a halt and stared at me. "Wow! Colonel, it is you!" Her face broke into a big smile. Moving over to me, she pulled out her bag of gadgets. Out came the penlight which was immediately flashed into my eyes. For the first time, I didn't mind.

"It's good to see you, Doc."

She paused with what she was doing, shook her head, "That doesn't sound like the Colonel O'Neill I know," she glanced up at Carter.

"Well, in my world Doc Fraiser isn't there anymore."

"Oh," she replied noncommittally and then continued with her test taking.

When she had finished I was led through to an established building. Everywhere I went I was under armed guard. I still got the feeling that Grogan didn't quite trust me yet, as he still seemed to like pushing me through doors.

As I stumbled in through the doorway, I was met with four pairs of staring eyes looking out between bars. '_Uh oh.'_ This was the brig. Fortunately, they put me in a cell on my own, as these guys didn't look like they were my friends. In fact, two of them were Jaffa and the other two; I really wasn't quite sure as they didn't look like Air Force personnel.

"Hey, Grogan, how about some lunch? Hey, Grogan."

My stomach rumbled as he closed the door behind him. Oh this is just peachy, locked in with two Jaffa who looked like they would enjoy using me for a punching bag and two others that…just put it this way, I was glad they were over there and not over here.

Settling myself down on the floor, as far away as I could from my fellow inmates, I waited. This time, I did not fall asleep.

Six hours later, they came for me. It was dark outside and they had lit a large fire in the middle of the camp. It smelt like they were roasting something on the fire. What it was, I had no idea, but I hoped they were in a sharing mood.

"Colonel O'Neill."

She was smiling at me. That had to be a good sign. "Colonel Carter," I replied.

A look of pain flickered across her face before she spoke. "Would you like something to eat?"

"Oh, yes please," I sat down in the chair she had pointed at.

"Daniel," I acknowledged.

"Jack," he looked at me suspiciously.

"So, I gather that you have found out that I am who I say I am then."

They nodded.

"Why don't we eat first, sir? Then we can fill each other in on what has been happening afterwards. It has been a long day."

Not one to disagree with comments like that, I started to eat my meal. Now I knew what they had been roasting. It was lamb, nicely done too.

As soon as my stomach began to feel less hollow, I started the questions. "So… when did this happen?"

Carter stayed quiet; she wasn't eating much I noticed. She made eye contact with Janet, who had joined us half way through our meal. Realizing I wasn't going to get much information from that direction, I tried Daniel.

"Daniel?"

He put down his knife and fork and started to speak.

"Everything began to go wrong after you were killed. Well the other you, I mean our you. Oh you know what I mean." I nodded, mainly to stop Daniel stammering and put myself out of my misery. "Soon after that, Anubis arrived with his ships. They just decimated our planet. General Hammond tried to take him out with the Prometheus. He nearly did too, but it just wasn't big enough."

"Did he ram Anubis' ship?"

"Yes, how did you know that? Did he do it in your world?"

"No he didn't, but he was in the process of doing it when Anubis was stopped."

"Stopped! How?"

"No, Daniel, you first. I will tell you my side after."

Carter and Fraiser were still sitting quietly, they hadn't said a word.

"There isn't much more to tell really. General Hammond blew up part of the ship and the Prometheus of course. Anubis then systematically destroyed all the main cities on Earth. We set the self-destruct and made it out only just in time. We have been here ever since. From what we have gleaned from a few scattered Tok'ra and other allies, Anubis has totally enslaved the rest of the population. The Beta site has been compromised; we don't know how or why yet. We don't know what has happened to the Alpha site, we sent through the GDO and they won't acknowledge us or open the iris.

"Yes, we had a similar problem regarding the Beta site; we still don't know who the mole was either. It had to be someone in the SGC, no one else knew the address."

"So, Colonel, what happened in your world?'

I turned to face Carter, and then sadly looked at Fraiser. "I assume that Senior Airman Wells didn't survive then."

Fraiser frowned and then nodded. "No he didn't; he died on the field. I couldn't go off world. There was an emergency at the SGC I had to deal with. Why? What happened?"

"Well… you came. You saved him, but you were hit and were killed."

"Oh." She looked thoughtful. "Our colonel died on that mission, but obviously you didn't in your world."

"No, but I was injured."

"Who stopped Anubis in your world?"

I turned to Carter and replied, "I did."

She smiled without it reaching her eyes. "So that is the difference then. If you had survived that skirmish, our world would be safe."

"Yes, I suppose you are right."

I looked right into her eyes; they were sad, tired and troubled.

Daniel broke our concentration. "Why are you here, I mean on this planet on your own?"

Turning to Daniel, I looked at him for a moment then returned my gaze to Carter and replied, "Just over six months ago, I retired from running the SGC. I've been on a fishing expedition, you know for technical stuff. Things that would make Doctor Lee happy."

"What about me?" Carter asked very quietly.

I swallowed; I really didn't know how to answer this one, "You were killed on PX 239 ten months ago."

She nodded, and then got up from the table. "Excuse me. Daniel, will you show the Colonel where he can sleep? Thank you." She walked quickly out of the tent.

It wasn't until I got to where I was to bunk down that I asked Daniel where Teal'c was.

"We don't know, Jack. The last we heard, he went to get Rya'c and Ishta just before Anubis attacked. They aren't on Ishta's planet anymore, in fact no one is there." His voice trailed off tiredly.

"Here, Jack you can have this bunk. Siler is up there, and Jones and Harriman have those two."

I looked at the cramped quarters, but then I wouldn't be staying, so it didn't matter for just a couple of nights.

"Daniel."

"Yes, Jack."

"Where are all the doohickeys that were in the cave?"

"They are all on Earth; I think Area 51 has them, I mean did have them." He picked up a pile of blankets and dumped them on my bunk. The dust floated up and swirled in the lamplight. I watched it mesmerized as the words sunk home. The doohickey to get me home was still in my alternate reality where I had dropped it and now this one was in Area 51 – totally unreachable. I was not going back after all.

Over the next several days, I found out that the camp had about 325 occupants. Most of them were military personnel with a smattering of scientists. No children, no wives and husbands. It was hard on everyone here as they had all left someone special behind on Earth. They had no idea if they were alive or dead, or if they were now Goa'ulds. Life was feeling pretty hopeless for all of them.

They weren't the only ones; I was feeling pretty down myself. I would have thought the fact that Carter was alive would make me feel good, but it didn't. She just didn't seem to be the Carter that I had known; it was as though the life had been knocked out of her.

After two weeks of not much happening, I decided to make some changes. I didn't bother informing them of my correct rank and they seemed to have missed that I had said I had been running things. I had no proof anyway, and I still outranked everyone on this base as a full Colonel even if I was officially retired.

Finally, I managed to get Carter by myself, with no Daniel hovering around.

We were walking towards the forest, which still gave me the creeps and apparently I wasn't the only one as everyone avoided it.

"Carter, we can't stay here indefinitely. We need to find the Tok'ra and get some help."

"I know, sir, but I have no idea where they are now."

"I think I do. They have a hideout that they were using just before I left the SGC. Your Dad told me, I don't think he was meant to, but he did. Maybe they are there in this universe too."

She nodded. A few moments later she started to speak, then stopped. After the third time she tried, I took the bull by the horns.

"For crying out loud, Carter, just say it," I had stopped and pulled her around by her shoulders looking directly into her face. She didn't speak, just looked at me as her eyes filled with tears. I had seen that look before, just after I had been shot on PX whatever. I quickly pulled her into a hug and held her close, her body shaking with sobs.

Foreign feelings flowed through me as I held her, it was not the same. Not the same as when I had held her before. This was not my Sam; she didn't fill that gaping hole that tormented me day and night. Closing my eyes to the pain this knowledge caused me, I stood and held her. I didn't know what could be worse, being in a world where there was no Sam or being in a world where I had no feelings for Sam.

Eventually she let go, blowing her nose she gave her usual unladylike sniff and then smiled up at me, "I'm sorry about that, sir. I just…" she sniffed again and turned to look into the forest depths.

It was silent, apart from her sniffing; no birds or animals could be heard. This was a strange planet. "Carter, have you noticed that there isn't any wildlife on this planet?"

She spun around surprised at my subject of discussion, "Yes, I have wondered about that, but I think there is something in that forest. Something that isn't good."

I nodded. I was still puzzled about the sun too. It was a perfectly normal twenty-four hour day here, the sun came up and went down roughly the same time each day and the forest seemed to stay where is should. Nothing like the planet in my old universe. Deciding to let that go, I broached the subject of finding the Tok'ra again.

"Carter, if I give you the coordinates, will you send a team through the Stargate to find the Tok'ra?"

She turned looked at me and nodded, "Yes, we need to do something."

We started back down the small hill towards camp, but just before we reached it she stopped me by grabbing my arm, "Sir?"

"Yes, Carter."

"You aren't him are you?"

I smiled softly and shook my head, "No, Sam, I am not him, and you aren't her either." She looked sad for a moment, and then she smiled.

"Where are those coordinates, Colonel?" I smiled in return before we continued on towards camp, walking swiftly through the ankle length grass. This was going to be good, our old team was going on a mission. All we needed now was Teal'c.

It didn't take long to organize. The camp started to feel different, everyone was bustling about. The few sheep that they had penned in a small yard not far from the camp even seemed to be happier.

Daniel and I started our usual arguing, Carter still snickered at my jokes and Grogan still treated me with disdain, but I really didn't care that much. I did make sure he didn't come with us on the mission though.

Carter, Daniel, and I left Major Turtleton in charge of the camp in our absence. He was a good officer and had everything under control. Carter had told me that he had been a tremendous support to her while they had been there. I was pleased, he seemed a good man, but I had never met him before in my world so I had to rely on Carter's recommendation.

The journey back to the Stargate was easy going. The rough dirt track led all the way to the DHD. I quickly punched in the coordinates to the Tok'ra planet. I just hoped that they had gone there in this alternate universe and hadn't moved on.

The knowledge that I couldn't return to my universe was firmly shoved to the back of my mind, it wouldn't do me any good chewing it over and worrying about it. What's done is done.

It was strange as I didn't flinch this time stepping through the Stargate. If there was an iris on the other side, I wouldn't know about it. So why worry? Daniel and Carter looked a little nervous, but when they saw me step through the wormhole without hesitation, they quickly followed behind.

As soon as we stepped out on the sandy planet, we were surrounded by Tok'ra. The unmistakable click and whir of the zats as they were primed was a complete give away.

Looking around the group, I recognized one of them. "Telcan, hi there." I waved a hand, "Is Jacob around by any chance?" I smiled. By then Carter and Daniel had arrived and were both waiting quietly.

Telcan frowned, "I do not know who you are."

Realizing that I had met Telcan after the incident on PX whatever, I then tried a different tack. "Hi, I am General O'Neill of the Tau'ri; please will you take me and my colleagues to see Selmac?" Both Carter and Daniel's heads spun around and stared at me. Kicking myself mentally for my faux pas, I ignored them.

"Come, this way. Pass over your weapons."

I quickly removed my weapons and handed them to Telcan, Daniel and Carter following suit. I was still getting funny looks from Carter, but continued to ignore her. Now was not the time to explain.

As we were led along the underground tunnels of the Tok'ra, I saw many faces that I hadn't seen before. This was definitely a bit different. It was hard to believe the changes that had come about because different people had died that day.

As soon as we walked into the conference room, there was a cry of joy behind me. "Dad!" Carter whisked past me straight into the arms of Jacob.

Jacob held her tight while he looked at me. _'Now I have a question, why is it that Jacob spends most of his time frowning when he looks at me?" _

"Jack?" Still holding onto his daughter, he reached out a hand and prodded me in the shoulder. "Is that you?"

"Here we go again. Yes, Jacob, 'tis me. Carter'll explain it all." Our weapons were returned to us on Jacob's command and Carter then explained in her usual technobabble how I came to be here, and that I wasn't really me, but was.

Jacob and his cronies were surprised at what Carter was saying, and they couldn't help all coming and having a good look at me. When Anise turned up, that was when I nearly lost it.

"Keep her away from me." I jumped up from the table and stabbed a finger in her direction.

"Why, Jack?"

"Because, Daniel, if it wasn't for her, Sam would still be alive."

The room went very quiet, as everyone either stared at me or Anise. Anise spoke quietly and clearly. "Whatever my counterpart did in your world has nothing to do with me in this one."

I quickly sat down, rubbed my hands over my face, and looked up at her, "I apologize." I then forced my anger down and waited to see what would happen next.

"Apology accepted." She turned and left the room.

I relaxed.

Jacob sat down opposite me at the table. "Jack, we are glad you guys have come. Apart from now knowing that Sam is safe of course." He grinned. "We believe Teal'c and the rebel Jaffa are in trouble. We received intel that a large group with a small band of Tok'ra were trapped on a planet."

I was surprised. "You mean the Tok'ra and the Jaffa are still working together?"

"Yes, Jack, we always have. Don't they in your universe?"

That was it. That was another big difference, it wasn't just that different people were killed, but these guys. They were the key too. Feeling totally confused I decided to leave the thinking alone and listened as Jacob continued to talk.

"They are holed up in caves underground on Begarnish."

Carter leaned forward. "Where's that?"

Jacob touched something on a consol and a hologram of a solar system appeared before us. "We are here." He pointed to a small planet near the sun. "And Begarnish is here." His finger traveled right across the system to the outer edge, stopping on the furthest planet from the sun.

"A cold planet then."

"Yes, Sam it is. I don't think they will last much longer with the limited supplies they have."

"Why can't they leave?" I asked.

"That is where Baal is hiding out," he answered. "We have to get past his defenses first."

A small tickle of excitement traveled its way up my insides. Not only had I found out Baal's hideout, but I would get the chance for some form of revenge.


	11. Chapter 11

**Memoirs of Brigadier General Jack O'Neill**

(Retired)

**Part IV**

**Chapter Two**

2005

The first thing I noticed as I stepped onto the new planet was the biting cold. It pulled the warmth out of your bones and crept right down into your lungs so it burned the soft tissue. I pulled the scarf up firmly over my mouth to protect my lungs so that they didn't freeze. I quickly glanced over at Carter, remembering our time in the Antarctic. She nodded and I was sure she was smiling as her eyes crinkled around the edges. I quickly pulled out my dark snow goggles and I noticed the others followed suit. We didn't want to suffer from snow blindness. The sky was a clear blue for as far as we could see. The weak yellow sunlight glinted off the pristine white snow and ice that completely covered the land.

Jacob quickly waved an arm in the direction behind the Stargate. "This way," came a muffled order. How he knew the way, I couldn't understand as there didn't seem to be any landmarks anywhere. But apparently Selmac had been here many years ago and knew the lay of the land.

As soon as we left the steps my legs sank up to the knees in soft snow. This was going to be very hard going for everyone. Jacob took point, followed by Carter, me and Daniel, with Telcan bringing up the rear. Every so often, Daniel would fall against me as he lost his footing, so I would then promptly fall against Carter. After the third time we fell face down in the snow, I decided that enough was enough.

"Daniel, for crying out loud, watch where you put your feet!"

"It isn't me; Telcan keeps pushing me along."

I turned and glared at Telcan, which is rather hard to do while wearing goggles, but I think he got the point.

"I'll watch your six," I announced, and then physically pushed Telcan up to just behind Jacob.

I then realized why Telcan had pushed Daniel so much. The Tok'ra could move a lot faster than we could, and slowly the gap between the two Tok'ra and us Tau'ri increased in size. This was not good. We couldn't be separated out here, and I had no idea where we were or where the Stargate was now. Somewhere behind me I suppose. Pulling the scarf away from my mouth, the sharp cold air tore down my throat into my lungs, making me gasp for air. Struggling against the cold, I quickly cupped my gloved hands around my mouth and called Jacob.

"Jacob!" He didn't hear at first. "Telcan!" I yelled. He heard me; he twisted around taking a quick look before bounding forward towards Jacob. '_Where did he get the energy from? Oh yeah, a snake in the head.' _Touching Jacob on the shoulder they stopped and waited for us to catch up. By the time we reached them I was really struggling to stop my lungs from hurting. Even though the scarf was back up covering my mouth, each indrawn breath seared my lungs.

"Sir, are you all right?"

I blearily looked up at Carter as she peered at me through her goggles.

I couldn't speak very well, so I nodded and made the thumbs up sign.

While we trudged along, I noticed that the snow wasn't as thick here, most probably because it was getting colder and was turning to ice.

The ground was solid ice now and very slippery underneath our boots. We didn't have spikes so we slipped and slid over the smooth surface.

All energy seemed to have been leeched out of me by the cold and every breath that I drew in was like fire searing my lungs. I found I wanted to cough periodically and all that served to do was to make it worse. I found out that Jacob had called a halt to our procession when I slammed into Daniel's back. I found it hard to open my eyes against the glare of the bright light. I had fallen to the hard ground and could feel the cold permeate through my clothes from the ice. I struggled to roll over and started to stand up, when I felt a strong hand on my arm guiding and pulling me up to stand. I blearily looked at my helper and all I could see was a fuzzy form. Then the words from Daniel penetrated through the thick fug of my brain.

"Jack, you okay?"

Nodding, I pulled out of his grasp and continued to walk, but was stopped by the same hand on my arm.

"Jack."

Drawing in a deep breath, to give me added strength to pull from his grasp, made me fall onto my knees into a coughing fit. A familiar metallic taste filled my mouth. I felt Daniel quickly pull my scarf away from my mouth and bright red drops of blood spattered onto the pristine white snow.

"Sam!"

The pain in my lungs and my belly was increasing with every cough. The ground beneath me began to swim and sway and the top of my head seemed to separate from the rest. Though I couldn't see, I felt and heard the thud as I fell, face down onto the hard icy ground.

It was dark and warm. I could feel a mask surrounding my mouth and nose, while I heard a faint hissing sound just beside my head. I could see a dim light in the distance and could hear whispering voices.

"Jacob?" My voice sounded so croaky and quiet. Trying again, I called out a little louder. "Daniel?"

I tried to sit up and remove the mask which was interfering with me calling out. Then it hit me – how someone can cough up blood and puke at the same time I have no idea, but I did. I drew in a breath, but no life giving oxygen came. I never thought I would go choking on my own blood and vomit, but it certainly looked like I was going to this time. As I struggled for breath, I heard pounding feet before strong hands grabbed my legs and body. Next the world swirled around as I found myself upside down over something firm and someone hitting me forcefully between my shoulder blades. Giving an almighty cough I then drew in a breath, hungrily extracting the much needed oxygen as it flowed through my sore lungs.

I felt my body floating through the air and resting down onto something soft. I could hear voices surrounding me, worried and reassuring voices; slowly I began to make out who was who.

"Daniel," I croaked.

"Jack."

"Colonel, you gave us quite a scare there."

"Well it was no picnic for me either, Carter."

Feeling a warm washcloth wiped over my face and neck, I quickly opened my eyes and stared straight into Teal'c's.

"Hey, Teal'c. It is good to…cough…cough…see…cough-"

"O'Neill, you must not talk. Your body needs time to heal."

I had stopped coughing and just rolled my eyes. No talking? When I had so much to ask my friend?

"Colonel Carter will explain our situation. I will return soon, O'Neill."

He gave his usual polite nod and left the room.

Now that the coughing had stopped I took the time to look around my environment. The walls of the small infirmary were rough-hewn rock. There were five other beds apart from my own. Four of them were occupied with children; they too had masks and an adult sat beside each one. I noticed someone removing the soiled bed linen from the bed next to me. That must be where I was when I had the choking fit.

"Sir?"

I nodded to Carter to continue.

"I will return after Daniel has helped you get changed." She gave a small worried smile and left the room.

Looking down at my hospital gown for want of a better word, I could see why I needed to change. _'O'Neill you have certainly made a spectacle of yourself this time.'_

I don't know how long I had been sleeping, I still had no idea what was wrong with me, but I certainly felt less pain and could breathe more easily than before. I could hear someone snoring beside me; curious to see who it was I carefully opened one eye. I was still nervous that what had happened before would happen again. But no, no spinning room, no nausea, so I opened the other eye. It was Daniel sitting on a box leaning back against the rock wall, mouth wide open while snoring his head off. This time I didn't remove my mask or talk, but reached out with my hand and pushed his knee that was balanced precariously on his other leg. It toppled with a thump.

"Wha…aaaat?"

Crooked glasses were hastily pushed back on his face and he suddenly stood up.

Oh this was going to be fun; Daniel hadn't changed one little bit.

"Jack. You're awake."

'_No kidding, Daniel.'_ I raised one eyebrow doing a perfect imitation of Teal'c.

"I'll be right back, Jack."

And he was gone.

I swiveled my head around to look at the other patients, only two of the beds were occupied now, one of them had the sheet pulled right up over his or her face. A woman was quietly sobbing beside the bed. All the previous levity that I had felt disappeared in a flash; this child had died. Why? I asked myself. It did not make any sense. Did I bring a contagion to this outpost?

"Colonel?"

Ah Carter. She would tell me what was happening.

"Hello. How are you? No don't answer, you are not allowed to speak for a while." She smiled and laid her hand on my arm. I nodded in return, assuring her that I would not speak.

I pointed to the woman grieving for her lost child.

"It is not your fault, Colonel, or should I call you General?" She smiled sadly.

I shook my head and frowned and pointed to the woman again.

"Yes, sir."

She sat on the edge of the bed, still leaving her hand on my arm. This made me feel secure. Even though she was not my Sam, she still was my second in command, someone that I could rely on in any situation, even when this old combatant was feeling vulnerable.

"Apparently, on this planet the snow isn't snow." I couldn't help raising my eyebrows at this.

"Well it is snow, but it has something else combined with it. Something you can't inhale. Well you can, but if you do, you get very sick."

Okay, so now I knew why I was sick, but why not Sam and Daniel. As though she could read my mind, she continued to explain.

"You must have breathed in the snowflakes when you were outside. Daniel and I never removed our scarves until we reached here. All Tok'ra and Jaffa are protected by their symbiotes which is why Dad and Telcan are okay."

My eyes slid over to the still form in the bed.

Sam looked sad as her eyes followed the direction of mine.

"The children are not protected by symbiotes as they don't have them yet. They are young and they don't have the resilience that an adult has to fight this."

A feeling of dread built up inside of me as I quickly looked at the other occupied bed.

"No, sir. She will be all right, not all the children die, only the very young and weak ones."

I couldn't work out why Teal'c and the other Jaffa could let their children go outside to suffer so. Once again as though she read my mind, Sam explained some more of what had happened.

"These children were found with their parents, lost on the planet. Baal banished them for not following his orders; also, I believe it is because they are running out of food. Baal must stay hidden, because if Anubis finds him, he will kill him."

"Good." I spoke, promptly regretting it as I went into another fit of coughing.

I felt a pin prick in my arm, then it went dark.

_2025_

_"What?"_

_"Okay, I'm coming."_

_"What's for dinner? Pizza? I feel like pizza."_

_"Oh dang, I forgot to switch off the computer, be right back."_

_It is strange now; the Stargate is used as a form of travel to visit our allies and friends. No fighting, no intergalactic wars. There has been the odd skirmish, but nothing that we can't handle. I still wonder if all those years and deaths were worth it though. I wonder what my life would have been like if not for the Stargate. Most probably pushing up daisies by now after what had happened to Charlie. No I don't think I would like to have missed anything that happened. Oh, except maybe Baal, Kanan, Sam dying, Doc dying, green fuzzy fur balls… oh I could go on. In fact I will._

2006

It was amazing; once Jacob had used the healing device on me and they had pumped that magic oxygen into my damaged lungs I healed really quickly. Out of the four children that had been with me in the infirmary only one had died and I found out that he had been very sick before the snow had attacked his lungs. Jacob with his healing device had managed to heal the other children and myself.

There were forty-one adults and forty-five children hiding out in these caves, who were a mixture of Jaffa and Tok'ra. They had all tried to leave before, but the children being unable to go outside in the atmosphere had hindered their plans. But now they realized that if the children were properly protected against the snow, they could escape. The fact that both Carter and Daniel had arrived safely was testament to that fact. Now there were enough adults to help with the children, forty-six adults and only forty-four children.

I was still croaky and every so often I would have a fit of coughing, but nothing like before. I was regaining strength, but not fast enough. The frustration of having Baal only a six hours walk away and not being able to do anything about it was slowly driving me nuts. No one else seemed to feel the same way, even Teal'c had said that now was not the time. But then he hadn't seen Sam's dead staring eyes or been tortured and killed over and over again at Baal's hand. The longer I stayed the more I wanted to get back to my own universe. At least there, Anubis was dead and Earth was safe.

I watched Carter as she worked with Jacob, they were an excellent team. The yearning in my heart for my Sam was not getting any weaker; in fact it had grown since I had come to this universe. Seeing Carter every day, but not being my Sam was painful and made my loss even more intense. I had seen and heard nothing of Pete, so I had no idea what had happened in this universe regarding Carter and Shanahan and in reality I didn't want to know.

"O'Neill."

Teal'c broke through my musing with his urgent voice.

"Yes, Teal'c"

"We have to leave, now. We have just received word that Baal has discovered our hiding place."

Though I knew it was too soon for myself and the recovering children, I didn't hesitate. Carter had made better masks for us to wear, ones that would really protect us from the elements. The fact that both Carter and Daniel had been kept safe from the cutting snow was just pure luck. If they had only removed their protection from their mouths even once, they would have suffered as I had.

Quickly I fitted the mask around my face and donned my warm clothing. Each adult, though not me, was responsible for a child. Much to my annoyance, Carter was in charge of me. Though if I collapsed I had no idea how she would be able to carry me.

We would need to move swiftly over the ice and snow to the Stargate if we were to beat Baal. We had since learned that he not only had dispatched Jaffa to our hiding place, but he was making his way to the Stargate.

As all well-trained Jaffa children are, they quickly fitted their masks on and dressed themselves in their warm clothing. Not a whimper or a complaint came from them. Even the two-year old little boy stood quietly as Daniel fastened the thick parka up his front. As I started to move around the busy people, I felt a hand push me in the chest.

"Carter?" My voice sounded muffled behind the mask, "What are you doing?"

"Sir, you need to sit and rest, conserve your strength. We will not be stopping along the way at all."

I sat, feeling properly chastised and wondered what it would have been like if I hadn't been Carter's superior. Would she have ordered me around like that if we'd had a relationship? Closing my eyes to the distressing thought of Carter and me, I tried to think of happier times.

"Kree!"

Teal'c's booming voice carried over the quiet chatter of people getting ready. Opening my eyes, I watched Teal'c; there was certainly no doubt about who was the leader of this group.

Everyone stopped what they were doing and listened. Carter wandered over to me, her charge. I couldn't help glaring a little.

"Everyone here knows their duties. We are going to be moving fast, so please do not delay anyone. The Tau'ri will be up the front, as they will be going the slowest." I bridled at the thought and could feel Carter stiffen beside me. _'At least you aren't treated like the children are, Carter.' _

"Has everyone got their child?"

I watched in amazement as the adults bent down and each lifted a child into their arms. Daniel had the lightest child and everyone had a child to carry except Carter and myself. I could feel the humiliation emanating from Carter as we started to leave the security of the caves. All semblance of humiliation left both of us the minute we got outside as the cold air hit my lungs and I fell to my knees, gasping for breath.

Immediately, I felt Carter pull me up by my arm and she shouted to me through her mask, "You have to keep going, sir."

I nodded, barely able to breathe let alone speak. With a brusque shove from Teal'c I found myself skidding along the ice on my feet, hanging onto Carter for balance. Oh this was going to be so much fun…NOT! I decided that I preferred the Teal'c in my own universe; he was a lot more forgiving than this one.

The next four hours was excruciating, it only took me half an hour to lose any strength that I had gained while recuperating in the caves. Through bleary vision I watched Daniel struggling through the snow, holding his precious bundle close to his body. They had strapped the smallest children into a harness that fitted around the adult. This was great, but I could see that Daniel was trying to keep the small body warm by holding him close. I wasn't sure if Carter was holding me up or I was holding her up. Every so often I could hear a small cough come from her and her steps had started to falter.

I knew that we were holding the group up with our failing strength, but it was not from want of trying. To hamper us more, a blizzard had decided to pay us a visit. The razor sharp foreign substance that had cut my lungs was now cutting into our skin. I could see the exposed flesh on Carter was red from blood before turning pink as it froze on her skin. I quickly removed my gloves and felt over my face, just above my mask and under my goggles. I rubbed my warm finger over the skin, it felt like I was rubbing sandpaper over it. Then I pulled out the Earth scarf and wrapped it around that part of my face, hopefully stopping any further damage.

Carter watched what I was doing and pulled out her scarf. I rubbed over her face like I had done with mine; she pulled back with shock as my finger made the blood flow. When I had finished she quickly wrapped the scarf around the top of her face. It looked rather comical, not that I had time to enjoy the spectacle as Teal'c came up behind us both and shoved us along the ice again. This time, Carter went down with a thwack. And I lost it. Spinning around on one spot I faced Teal'c, "What is your problem, Teal'c? We are trying to go as fast as we can."

He nodded, and then pulled back the blanket that covered the young child strapped to his chest. The white face almost blue under his mask was pinched with pain. The child's eyes were screwed up tight against the cold. Teal'c quickly wrapped the blanket back over the child and walked off. I could see Rya'c trudging ahead with a child strapped to his chest, with Ishta bundled up walking beside him. Feeling humbled, I jerked my head in Teal'c's direction to Carter. She nodded and we slogged on after him. These children did not have long; the cold was just too much for them to cope with. When the life of a child was in the balance I always seemed to find strength that I never thought I had.

_DISCLAIMER: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions and Gekko Productions. This story has been written for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations and story are the property of the authors._

9


	12. Chapter 12

**Memoirs of Brigadier General Jack O'Neill**

(Retired)

**Part IV**

**Chapter Three**

2006

I heard the burst of the event horizon erupting before I saw it. This was not good news. That meant Baal had got there first. I was dead on my feet; I knew if I stopped I would not be able to get going again and by the looks of Daniel and Carter they felt the same. I had lost feeling in my feet and hands an hour or so ago and my lungs had started to burn again. I noticed Carter and Daniel coughing. With dread, I realized they were suffering from the same problem I'd had previously. The masks were not working, the blizzard was too strong. I coughed again and I felt the metallic taste in my mouth. I just hoped the children were okay, but they were all bundled up inside blankets so hopefully they would be all right. I closed my mind to the fact that Carter was sick and that I might lose her all over again.

Teal'c and a few of our group went ahead to check out the Stargate which was just over a large snowdrift. I am sure that hadn't been there when we arrived. They were gone only a few minutes. They quickly motioned us to crouch down onto the ground and keep very still. I felt my knees give out on me halfway down and found myself sitting on the cold hard ground. Carter sat beside me and leaned against me. I could feel the vibration of her coughing and shivering. That dreaded feeling worked its way into my innards again. I couldn't lose Carter again.

After a few moments, Teal'c motioned us on. This time it was me that pulled Carter up and pushed her along to get her moving. Talk about the blind leading the blind. When we arrived at the Stargate there was no sign of Baal or his Jaffa anywhere. Too tired to enquire, we followed the others through the wormhole. Most probably for the first time, the process of going through the wormhole was not freezing.

I woke to hear distressing words being spoken near me.

"Don't you dare, Sam. Stay with us."

"Doc?" I croaked out.

I groggily sat up. Once again I had an oxygen mask over my face and I could see Daniel was in a bed on one side of me and Sam was on the other. Jacob was sitting on a chair, he looking haggard and drained. Daniel seemed to be asleep. I looked around the rest of the room. All forty-four children were in beds and none had sheets pulled over their heads. I let out a sigh of relief at this.

"Jacob, can't you do anything?"

"No, Janet, this is past Selmac's or my expertise." His voice broke on the last word.

I heard the word "No!" screamed out at Jacob's words. I quickly looked at Daniel to see if he had said it, but when I looked back at Sam, they were all looking at me.

My throat was sore; it had been me who had cried out. I struggled out of the bed, yanking the mask off as I went. My legs shook with weakness as I stood over Sam and looked into her face. The damage that the snow had done to her face had been healed; Jacob must have used the healing device, but not enough to save her. No one could understand why or how she had succumbed to this. As far was we could tell, she had taken all precautions. I could hear the steady beat of her heart monitor beside her bed falter and then stop. I shook my head in disbelief, went back to my bed and fell onto the mattress and didn't move.

It was five weeks later before I could finally breathe without coughing or vomiting. I watched Jacob wilt with grief. I always knew if it was Jacob or Selmac in control by the stance of the man. I could give him no support during this time as I needed it myself. Daniel was no help either. Sadness pervaded the encampment. I didn't need this, that is why I had left Earth, to get away from-

_2025_

_Right that's it, I'm done. No more of this. This is not helping one iota._

_"What do you mean?"_

_"I said get your butt in here, Jack O'Neill."_

_"You sound like my mother."_

_"I will take that as a compliment as your mother was a very nice lady."_

_"Well, it wasn't a-"_

_"What was that, Jack? I didn't hear you."_

_"Nothing."_

"_Good. And you can remove that innocent look off your face, I know exactly what you are thinking and you are not going to get away with it."_

"_This isn't working."_

"_It's not working, because you haven't finished. Come on, I have switched it on for you. Sometimes you behave just like a big baby."_

"_Okay I will do it, now go away and leave a man in peace."_

"_Remember we are visiting Daniel in two hours."_

"_No, I haven't forgotten. Go…shooo!"_

2006

I decided to go for a trek up into the hills. I needed time to think, to get away from this camp. The sadness that permeated the whole camp was infectious, even the children seemed to be affected by it. I wanted to take some supplies with me, so I pulled out my pack from under my bunk; I hadn't looked at it for weeks. The first thing that I remembered was Mariam's egg pie, something I didn't have much choice in forgetting as the smell competed with the green fur balls of Kelowna. That went down the rubbish pit very quickly. At least it created a few laughs in the camp. The sight of a general running through the camp yelling "Gangway", holding out a container of something smelling disgusting was enough to get anyone laughing, except the said general.

Fortunately the egg pie had been sealed in a container, so the rest of my gear was stink-free. I pulled out my clean clothes that Mariam had so kindly washed and found at the bottom of the bag was the three technological objects that I had retrieved from the mud planet. The second one I picked up immediately began to hum and lit up as soon as I touched it. It was almost identical to the doohickey that I had touched in the cave. A feeling of hope traveled through me as I realized just what this would mean. I might be able to go home.

Without hesitating I shoved all my things back in my pack and retrieved my weapons from the weapon shed. As I left the shed, I had a committee of people waiting for me.

Daniel, Teal'c, Doc and Jacob.

"Where are you going, Jack?"

"What is it with you, Daniel? You are like my mother, you can read my mind." I rolled my eyes to emphasis my displeasure.

"O'Neill, we do not wish you to go."

"I am sorry, Teal'c, but I think I have found a way home. I need to go. This place isn't my home. I have been away from Earth without contacting them far too long already."

I looked out over the compound. The bigger children had formed two teams and were playing baseball in the centre of the camp. There was laughter and happy shouting as one of the children made a home run. Rya'c was coaching them on how to play the game. They didn't need this old crotchety general moping around the camp. They needed to get on with their lives with Tok'ra, Jaffa and Tau'ri all together, one big happy family.

"I just want to say two things to you all. Get on with your lives here, forget about the Goa'uld for now, and make a life here. The second, keep away from that creepy forest, there is definitely something not good in there."

No one laughed, but solemnly nodded goodbye. I don't like long goodbyes, so I quickly turned on my heel and walked straight to the kitchens. After I had taken what I needed in supplies I made my way to the cave at the base of the hills.

It hadn't changed, the guard was still standing not far from the entrance. They were extra especially vigilant now that I had come through, they didn't know if anyone else would make use of the mirror.

It wasn't until I had gone into the cave that I become conscious of the fact that someone else was in there.

"Daniel, what do you want?"

"You left rather suddenly."

"Yeah, I know."

I waited.

"Do you need help with that gizmo?"

"Gizmo?" One of my eyebrows rose, "Where on Earth did you hear that word?"

"You actually. Well, not you, but the other you. Our you. Well not our you, but the other you-"

"Ack! Okay, I get it, Daniel," I held up my hands to him, "No, I don't need any help. I know what to do."

I pulled it out of my pocket and held it up in front of me. "I touch this panel here on the gizmo, and then I touch this glass here on the pillar…huh?"

Daniel was still in front of me.

"What just happened, Daniel?"

"Nothing."

"Bye, Daniel." I smiled

This time I moved the wheel on the control and touched the mirror again. The room began to spin and swirl like it had before and I fell to the ground unconscious.

When I awakened, I found myself alone in a room full of gadgets like before.

"Whew!" I let out a big puff of air. There sitting on the ground was the control that I had dropped before. I could see strange footprints in the dust, but I had no idea who had caused them.

Without hesitating, I quickly moved towards the opening of the cave and I looked out into thick long grass. "That is the same at least," I spoke to myself. Glancing over to the dark wooded area, I continued talking to myself, "That's the same too." The sun was sinking slowly in the sky and I knew I had to get a move on if I wanted to get to the Stargate before sunset.

I marched quickly through the long grass humming, 'Follow the yellow brick road' under my breath.

As I dialed Kelowna, I wondered how the Grenuts had survived. Knowing the Kelownan's speed in deciding how to do anything, most probably they were still alive and kicking. The thought did not fill me with great joy.

This time, there was no fighting in the Stargate room, but there were the usual armed guards waiting to see what the wormhole produced.

"Howdy folks," I cheerily waved a hand in the air, and then two as they clicked the safety catches off their weapons. These guards had no idea who I was, "I am a friend of Jonas Quinn."

They didn't flinch or move. _'Uh oh.' _"Could someone get Jonas or whoever is in charge here? Please," I added, giving them my best smile.

_2025_

_"Jack, can you give me a hand?" _

_"Yes, I'll be right there. What's up?"_

"_It's this air conditioning unit again, it keeps making a weird noise and I am fed up with asking the techies to fix it. So I'm going to do it myself."_

"_That's my girl. What do you need me for?"_

"_Muscle."_

"_Oh I got lots of that."_

"_Hey!" _

"_Yes." _

"_Put me down. Now! Anyway, you left the computer on. Ouch! When I said put me down, I didn't mean like-"_

_DISCLAIMER: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions and Gekko Productions. This story has been written for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations and story are the property of the authors._

7


	13. Chapter 13

**Memoirs of Brigadier General Jack O'Neill**

(Retired)

**Part V**

**Chapter One**

2006

They were the silent type. They gestured with their rifles for me to move to the side. I complied very quickly. I heard the inner ring moving around the Stargate as it started to rotate.

The leader, for want of a better word, asked one short question, "You! Are you Tau'ri?"

I nodded and waited for more, but nothing was forthcoming. The event horizon burst into life and whooshed out into the room. I involuntary moved back out of the way, even though I was quite safe where I'd been standing. '_Just a natural reaction I suppose_.'

The leader waved his rifle in the general direction of the Stargate for me to go through.

"No way!" I stood my ground.

"You go!" He gestured with his rifle again towards the Stargate opening. "We don't want any Tau'ri here."

I moved forward slowly. "Okay, I don't mind going to Tau'ri-land, but there's something I need or I'm gonna go splat."

"What, this?" He pulled out a GDO from one of his voluminous pockets and waved it under my nose. With an almost malicious grin, he punched in a code. I had no idea if it was the right one or not, so I stayed put.

It didn't work, as four large Kelownan's grabbed hold of me. I heard the satisfying loud, "Oomph!" as my elbow connected with someone's stomach. Then two large arms coming from behind me wrapped themselves around my chest, effectively pinning my arms to my sides. This didn't stop me, I pushed back with my legs and swung them up, kicking one of the men in front of me in the nose. I could hear the sound of bone crunching on impact. Blood spurted out in a rush while he clutched his face with his hands as he rolled on the floor. My pleasure didn't last long as they bodily lifted me up and threw me through the Stargate. The landing was no better than my delivery as I bounced once, twice, and then rolled to a stop in an ungainly crumpled heap at the bottom of the ramp at the SGC. _'At least I didn't go splat.'_

I cautiously opened my eyes, and the first object to fill my vision was a pair of highly polished Air Force issue boots. In fact they were so shiny I could see the movement of my head reflected in them. Slowly, my gaze traveled up the crisply pressed trousers to a 'starched' shirt, my eyes took in the two bright shiny stars, two on each shoulder and they finally settled on the spotless tie that was perfectly placed around the neck. _'I have landed into an alternate universe where they have a by-the-book, stuffed-shirt.' _I lifted my head to see General Perfect's face and groaned. There was no way this was going to work between us and he'd most probably take great pleasure in making my life totally miserable.

Grimacing, I shut my eyes tight. Maybe I'd hit my head and it was all a hallucination. I opened my eyes again. '_Crap!' _Nope, I'd been right the first time.

I gave a quick grin and waved one hand from my lowly position on the floor. "Hi, Jack."

He did not look amused.

"By chance is your name spelled with only one 'L'?" I asked as I clambered painfully to my feet.

He looked at me in disdain, then turned and walked slowly away. I couldn't see him give directions, but the outcome was clear as four large SF's walked up to me and relieved me of my weapons and backpack.

"Don't forget the knife in his boot," floated back the comment from the stuck up general as he marched 'perfectly' from the room.

I asked questions as I was escorted through the corridors, but they were the strong silent type. I was fast getting fed up with the lack of information in this reality. Though at least I knew where I was going. It looked like they checked out all new arrivals in the infirmary here too.

I walked through the large double doors into the main room. It was empty. Not a soul in any bed as far as I could see. In fact there were only two beds in the room. I heard a sound and a diminutive form came out from an office.

"Put him there." Doctor Fraiser pointed to one of the beds.

"Hey, Doc. How are ya?" I smiled.

It didn't work.

Fraiser grabbed a small cart of weird looking torturous instruments and pulled it along behind her as she walked towards where they had pushed me not so gently onto the hard bed.

'_Yup, it happens every time_.' She pulled out the little flashlight and shone it into each eye. I watched every movement she made as she scratched her findings onto a chart.

"Remove your clothing," she ordered, _'now that doesn't happen every time.' _And then pulled some more unusual looking instruments off the table. Things I had not seen before.

"Why?" I asked softly.

"Oomph!" _'Okay... don't ask question's. I get the idea.' _I held up my hands in defense to the guards and then I cautiously and painfully undid the buttons to my shirt. If I was going to get bruised ribs, at least I was in the right place.

I pulled my shirt back over my arms. It was almost as though Fraiser was waiting for me to reveal my upper arms as she took that moment to jab a needle hard into my arm. I felt the painful liquid being pushed into the muscle, then the room began to spin and I was aware of falling to the floor, but I don't remember hitting it.

As I woke up, the sound that battered my ears was familiar to me as we underwent this every time we came back from a mission. They were checking to see if there was a snake in my head. My clothing had been removed, and I was down to my boxers. The cold from the hard table I lay on seeped into my bones, chilling me through. The only difference was my eyes were firmly covered over by a mask of some kind. But then there was a lot different about this SGC compared to my own, including the pompous general in charge.

It went quiet, they had finished. I felt cool air waft over my body as I came back out into the room, just what I needed on my already shivering body.

Someone removed the mask from my eyes; the light blinded me for a second and reminded me that I had a drug-induced headache that pounded at the back of my eyes. If a Goa'uld was in there, he would be mighty uncomfortable that was for sure.

With a groan, I started to roll off the table into a sitting position. This of course did not go down well with the SF's. Once again, my stomach was used as a punching bag, but this time with the butt of a P-90 or was it two? I seemed to be seeing double of everyone.

"What is it with you guys? I'm not likely to rush off out the door dressed like this, now am I?"

The four SF's merged into two as they reached forward and roughly seized hold of my upper arms and yanked me off the table.

"Where are your friends?" I asked, not expecting nor receiving a reply.

Contrary to my belief that they wouldn't think that I would run around the corridors in my underwear, they firmly gripped my arms as they led me out into said corridors.

"Okay now guys, this is a bit much, you know," I looked at each of my captors in turn. Their faces were set like stone. This did not bode well for my health. "Remember, I look like your General, and if anyone sees me… well they see him," I pointed out recklessly.

The world spun around, as they slammed me against the wall face first. My nose and forehead took the full force of the collision with the wall. My head echoed with the pain as it bounced around my skull, and then a sharp pain in my kidneys told me that they had given up on punching me in the stomach.

Now unsupported, I could see the trail of blood from my nose make an unsightly streak down the wall as I slid to the floor. The pain from one of my kidneys was sharp and dull at the same time as it traveled through my innards, up my back and once again attacked my already aching head. I closed my eyes to the fuzzy sight of familiar grey walls and lay still. _'They can carry me to wherever they want me now.' _

I vaguely remember being dragged down the corridor and flung into a small room, not sure where, but I remember the bang of the door and the click of the lock as they secured it from the outside.

I must have rolled over in my sleep as sharp pain in my lower back woke me up. I slowly sat up, and groggily looked around the room. Yes it was a small room. In fact it looked a little like the nonexistent office that Carter had insisted that I had when I was a colonel, but there was no desk in this room. In reality, there was nothing in the room, except a camera in each of the four upper corners, all pointing straight at me. Still cold and shivery, I stood up and hobbled over to the door and peered through the reinforced window. One empty corridor was all that I could see, but that didn't mean there wasn't anyone out there though.

Hugging myself to try and keep what little of my body heat there was, I wandered over to one of the cameras.

"Hey!" I paused, and then stepped to the right. The camera followed my movements. They either had motion sensitive cameras or someone was watching, "How about some breakfast?" I waited. Nothing, "Lunch? Dinner? A snack?" Glancing around the small interior of the room, another urgent message had reached my brain, something way more important than food.

"I need the facilities," I yelled into the camera. "NOW!" The more I thought about it the worse it became. I was hoping that it was just the normal need, not that one of my kidneys had been seriously damaged.

I could hear a faint noise of a radio outside, then the click of the lock on the door just before it swung open.

The two SF's that came into the room were unfortunately the same ones that had redecorated the walls of the SGC with my face earlier. Before I had a chance to move through the door, they once again grabbed my now bruised arms and shoved me through. I wasn't sure if it was good that we met no one on the way to the latrines or if it was bad. Maybe if someone saw me they might get me out of there, but somehow I doubted that.

Afterwards, they brought me back to the room. This time Fraiser was there with Daniel, waiting for me.

"Hey, Danny," The relief that flowed through me was almost palpable. After I had taken only two steps towards him, that familiar sinking feeling traveled down through me. He did not return my smile. He was watching me like I was a lab rat, waiting to see how I would react. "Daniel?" I asked cautiously, stopped and waited for him to respond.

He turned to Fraiser and spoke quietly, "Yes, the resemblance is amazing. What about DNA; is it the same?"

Fraiser referred to her notes. This I was interested in hearing, because there was no way that stuffed shirt and I could be the same person.

"Apart from the obvious difference," she said looking straight at Daniel, then back down at her notes, "there is only a slight abnormality. Here." She placed the notebook in Daniel's hands and pointed to somewhere near the bottom of the page.

I found myself leaning forward to see what she had written, but before I had a chance to see anything, I found my knees knocked from behind and fell crashing to the floor. I let out a yell as the pain exploded in my knees and traveled down my shins into my ankles. Leaning over onto my hands, I stayed still, trying to control the pain and ride above it. Drawing in a deep breath, I slowly and painfully climbed back to my feet and glared at my two watchdogs.

An orderly stepped into the room and handed Fraiser some blue clothing, which looked like overalls. She nodded to the orderly then threw the overalls onto the floor at my feet and looked straight at me.

"Put those on," she ordered. She then pulled out a large plastic bag, opening it in front of me. "You can put those in there." She nodded to my last vestige of dignity. _'Not on your Nelly. Nope, never, absolutely not.' _She must have read my mind, because she nodded to the two ever present watchdogs and they pushed my still sore face up against the wall.

"Okay! I surrender," I quickly yelled.

"I am glad you see it our way."

As I handed them over, I quickly pulled the overalls on and zipped them right up as high as they would go. This was one experience that I was not enjoying in the slightest.

Fraiser and Daniel stared at me for a short while before they walked out through the door.

"No starch, but nicely pressed please," I called after them. I quickly moved back out the way, as one of the SF's stepped menacingly towards me. Fortunately for me, they left too.

On the bright side, I was not so cold anymore. Of course on the flip side, I was still very hungry and thirsty. Thankfully, I did not have to wait long.

I was sitting up against the wall under one of the cameras. Okay they could still see me, but only three out of four could. I heard the lock click and the door opened slowly. I was pleased to see that the Neanderthals stayed outside.

"Siler?" I asked as I carefully stood up, leaning against the wall for support.

He walked over to the middle of the room and placed a tray of food and a bottle of water on the floor, then stepped back away from it. He quickly looked behind him at the closed door, glanced at his watch, and then spoke very quickly.

"Eat ALL of it, every drop." He backed up towards the door and banged on it. The door opened, and he slipped out.

I cautiously walked over to the tray and painfully sat down in front of it. There didn't seem to be anything unusual with it, just some sort of unrecognizable meat casserole, mashed potatoes and sludgy looking green stuff. Yup, looked like normal commissary food to me. The bottle of water had been opened and then done back up again. I could see the seal had been broken. _'Every drop of it,' _echoed in my head as I remembered Siler's words. I was thirsty, so I really had no choice. Trusting Siler, I opened the bottle of water and downed the contents in one hit. It didn't taste any different to normal water; maybe I was just being paranoid.

My stomach rumbled with hunger reminding me that there was hot food sitting there waiting to be consumed. Picking up the only implement to eat my meal with, I spooned some of the mashed potato onto it and started to eat.

They came for me four hours later. I could hear yelling and shouting coming down the corridors towards my room as they opened my door. Apparently, I wasn't the only unwilling guest and whoever they had, they sure weren't cooperating. The SF's that pushed me out of the door were ones that I had not seen before. They were just as big as the other SF's, but there was no history here, so I obediently went with them.

I was taken down two levels by the stairs; these were cold and uncomfortable to my bare feet. Shivering slightly in the unheated and dim corridors, they pushed me along to the storage rooms. Using a pass card, one of my guards swiped the lock and pushed me inside one of the storerooms. The door slammed shut behind me.

The room was sparsely furnished; a military cot was placed against one wall and a table against another. The only other piece of furniture was the remains of a wooden chair that lay scattered across the cot and along the floor. I just managed to note that there were no cameras in the room, when a screaming form launched itself at me, banging my already damaged head against the door.

A sharp pain flared across my arm and ribs as the assailants arm connected with my body. With a speed that I hadn't seen in a long time, my attacker spun around on one leg brought back the other leg and kicked out towards my neck. It stopped just before breaking my larynx; I could feel the skin of the bare foot touching my Adams apple. The foot was steady, not moving as my assailant stared straight into my eyes.

_DISCLAIMER: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions and Gekko Productions. This story has been written for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations and story are the property of the authors._


	14. Chapter 14

**Memoirs of Brigadier General Jack O'Neill**

(Retired)

**Part V**

**Chapter Two**

2006

"Carter?" I whispered, trying to keep my shaking voice steady.

She slowly lowered her foot, and took a tentative step towards me. Seemingly without thought, she pushed her long hair behind one ear and moved closer. After seeing the speed in which she had nearly killed me, I stayed as still as my unsteady body would allow.

"Carter?" I repeated, still keeping my voice soft.

She had moved so slowly, I had barely seen her move, but she now stood only six inches away from me. After that excursion, she was not out of breath. I had barely moved and I was gulping in the oxygen. I watched her eyes, not sure if she was going to kill me on the spot or-

"Jack, is that you?" Her eyes filled with tears, which began to spill over and roll unchecked down her cheeks.

With the speed I had seen just seconds before, she shortened that small distance and wrapped her arms around my neck and started to kiss me. I could feel the wetness of her tears as she held me tight and continued to kiss me.

I put it down to being drugged and bashed on the head a few times, but I found myself kissing her back, feelings that had been slammed down into my depths began to break free of their restraints and burst forth. I ignored the pain that she produced while she held my sore head and pulled her closer to me, losing myself in the moment as time stood still.

She pulled away, seconds before she let out a sob and sank to the floor of her cell. I briefly closed my eyes and tried to quash the feelings back, before crouching down in front of her pushing her long hair away from her face.

"Carter… Sam. I'm sorry, I…" I had no idea what to say. How do you tell someone that you aren't who they think you are and that the one that she thought was me, was still out there?

I gently pulled her to her feet and walked her over to the cot. As I sat down, I pulled her gently down onto the hard surface and held her against me. She clutched at me, holding me so tight it hurt my bruised and battered body; it was as though she was drowning and I was the only lifeline that could save her. All I could do was give her a little respite, some small oasis in the sea of despair.

Some oasis, it did not last long. Sam seemed to have run out of tears as she was now quiet, not letting me go. I had scooted up against the wall and she had come with me. I had no idea how long she had been incarcerated here, but if the length of her hair was anything to go by, a long time indeed. There was no way she was going to let me go, of that I was sure. Not now, not ever. _'Houston, we have a problem.' _

Unfortunately, the problem at that moment came walking through the door. I squeezed Carter's shoulder, but she buried her face into my chest and hung on more tightly.

"Carter?" I spoke evenly and warningly.

The tone of my voice must have penetrated through, as she slowly raised her head to look up at me. I could see her movement out of the corner of my eye, as I did not want to lose sight of my enemy standing in the doorway.

"Now isn't this cozy?"

Carter gave a small gasp, let go of me and swiveled around to face the person who had just spoken. Her head moved around slowly and looked at me again, reaching up a tentative hand, she touched my face. Then very slowly began to move her head from side to side. "It can't be. No…" Her voice broke on the last word.

"Hello, Carter. I see you have met my alter ego." The overdressed general smirked _'most unattractively I might add'_ as he spoke.

She turned back to me. "Who are you?" she whispered, so quietly that I barely heard her.

I felt helpless. I couldn't help her escape, I couldn't tell her what she wanted to hear and worst of all I couldn't comfort her in her distress. I wasn't who she thought I was. For some weird reason the man she thought I was stood in front of us, gloating at her misery.

Still struggling with my inner feelings, I forced all the emotions back into the drawers, stuffing them haphazardly anywhere they would fit. I would have to sort them out later, when I had more time.

"I'm from an alternate universe."

Her eyes filled with tears, not from joy or release, but from real true sorrow and pain.

"Oh." She pulled away from me.

I watched her face. I could see her mind working away, thinking this all out; the scientific reasons behind this, the complications of me being here and then finally, the ramifications of what might now happen.

She turned away from me and stood up to face her captor. I creakily followed suit.

"No. You can't do this. You have to let him go back."

"And why should I do that?"

I watched mesmerized as my other self slid his hands into his pockets; a sure sign that he was insecure.

Her lips trembled as she pulled in a breath that went deep into her lungs. Closing her eyes briefly before opening them, she spoke evenly and clearly, "Because of the entropic cascade failure." She turned her head and looked at me. I nodded in return to let her know that I understood what she meant. A sadness emanated from her eyes as she looked at me a second longer than necessary, before looking back at my other self. The strength from this woman never ceased to amaze me. My respect for her rose considerably in those few moments.

I was desperate to know what had changed this man standing before us. He must have once been as I am. She had thought that I had been him, until he appeared. The answer to my question came all too soon.

He laughed, and then spoke again.

"Who cares? He will make a good specimen."

"NO!" Carter shouted and moved with lightening speed. Spinning around, she brought her right leg up and kicked high, straight for his throat. But this Jack O'Neill was too fast for her.

Seconds before her foot would have made contact with his neck, his eyes glowed yellow and he moved to the side. Her foot and leg went crashing into the wall, and I heard the crack, as the small bones in her foot broke from the impact. The cry that came from her was not of pain, but from the despair of failure. Falling back onto the floor, she lay still, tears of frustration coursing down her face.

Now I knew why these people were not behaving as they should, they were Goa'ulds.

Cautiously, I knelt down beside her, and helped her to stand on her good leg, propping her up.

"I'm sorry. I tried," she whispered.

The despair and grief that that permeated her whole being brought all my emotions pouring out and spilling out of control.

In desperation I pulled all my strength from within myself to take back control, but it eluded me. It was gone. Just like the woman I loved, gone. Just like the man she loved, gone.

I found the strength leave my legs as I began to sink to the floor pulling her down with me. It was finally over; I had lost the fight in another world, with another Sam to another me, to another Goa'uld. I closed my eyes in defeat.

I didn't feel the rough hands as they pulled me to my feet, or the pushing and the shoving as they wrestled me away from her arms. But I did hear her last words, ringing in my ears and head as I was dragged down the corridor to another room.

"Fight it; don't give up. Remember, fight it. You can win. Fight it, Jack, fight it. I have faith in you."

The words were still strong in my head as they strapped me to a chair. They reverberated around my being, as they ripped the collar away from my neck. Her voice was so strong it drowned out the squealing that filled the room, as I watched the squirming Goa'uld lifted out of a cooler. I felt my head pushed roughly forward, then the cold wet slippery feel of it sliding along my neck. Then the sharp pain, as it burrowed its way through skin and muscle. All my nerve endings screamed with pain as it curled its way around my spinal column. Then the insinuating voice began to creep and merge with her last words.

"_You are mine; your body is mine; you are no more; just give in and rest."_

'_You can fight it, Jack.'_

"_No… you slimy, little, weak parasite. Get your slimy butt outta my head."_

'_Don't give up.'_

"_What is this? Ah, you are not from here, you are from another universe. She is very beautiful, isn't she? Maybe, yes maybe, I will…"_

'_Fight it, Jack… Jack… Jack… I have faith in you.'_

"_You will die snake, if I have to rip you out of my body with my bare hands. You will die."_

"_Ha ha ha ha. Oh, no I won't, Jack; it is you who will suffer, for many years to come. You, who have many secrets to share and will give them willingly."_

"_Shut-up you snaky little worm. That is what you are; you are a worm that needs to be shoved back into the ground and stamped underfoot."_

"_What? Argh, what is this? What… no…"_

_2025_

"_Blasted phone… Sometimes, Daniel, you really do annoy me and now is one of those times."_

_"Yes, I 'was' busy and I 'still' am busy. So what do you want?"_

_"Teal'c? He isn't due here until next week." _

_"Oh… Cool… Okay… we will be there in half an hour."_

_"What?"_

_"Yes, you are."_

_"Just what you asked."_

_"DANIEL!"_

_"Do you just do this on purpose or what?" _

"_To answer your first question, yes you are forgiven for interrupting me. To reply to your last stupid question, you like annoying me on purpose."_

_"Goodbye, Daniel."_

_"Who was that on the phone?"_

"_Hello there. It was Daniel. You wanna go and see Teal'c? He arrived early."_

"_Yes, just let me get the kids ready. … Jack, is Ishta with him?"_

"_Oh, sorry I forgot to ask, but Daniel said something about Teal'c not being the only one arriving early." _

"_The baby, has it come?"_

"_I'll be right with you, just gotta switch this off."_

2006

Silence. It had gone. I could not feel its presence anymore. _'Crap. Now how am I going to convince this lot?' _

Hopefully, my eyes had glowed when it first entered, but that was it. No more glowing eyes for this Jack O'Neill.

I carefully looked around me and kept my sarcastic tongue stuck inside my head.

Chief snake leaned forward and looked at me closely. "What is your name?"

The first feelings of panic began to tingle down the back of my neck.

"Tek'na." _'Hey! Where did that come from?' _ Instead of the panic lessening with the name of the Goa'uld announced from my mouth, it increased. Maybe he had not died after all. I couldn't understand how I would know his name, but it had suddenly popped into my head.

"Welcome, Tek'na. Everyone here goes by their host's name, but as there are two Jack O'Neill's you will have to use your own name."

I nodded in acknowledgement, and then pointedly looked at my restraints. Reaching forward, they removed the straps that held my arms, chest and ankles to the chair. I slowly stood up, carefully masking the pain that spiked in my damaged knees and back.

"I wish to change my attire and bathe. This host has neglected his hygiene. Then you will advise me of what is happening. This host is not well informed."

"Yes. Please report to the briefing room when you have finished. Also, we wish you to tell us all that your host knows."

I nodded, stood up and started to walk from the room.

"Tek'na," he called.

I stopped and carefully turned around. "Yes, sir?" I replied.

"Remember that there are visitors on this base that are not aware of whom we really are. At all times, you must not reveal your identity."

This would explain the lack of the echoed voice that the Goa'ulds usually used. At least I would be able to avoid that problem now.

I nodded again in acknowledgement and moved as smoothly as I could out of the room. Hopefully, keeping my face blank.

The journey to the showers was uneventful. Mindful of the cameras that were in the corridors, I kept up the pretence of a healthy undamaged body all the way. By the time I had reached the locker room, I could feel a fine sheen of sweat covering my body. The pain was almost unbearable in my knees, especially in the one that Alexander had not fixed, and a sharp pain stabbed my ribs with each step I took.

I entered the locker room. Thankfully it was empty. I walked straight over to O'Neill's locker and banged it open. While rummaging in there for some clean clothes, I quickly scanned the room for any signs of added cameras. I didn't see any.

I grabbed a towel and limped my way over to the showers, quickly turning on the faucet. Before I stepped under the hot spray I briefly checked over my injuries. Yup, lovely colours already. The bruising seemed to travel completely around my torso but I couldn't see any broken skin. My knees were scraped and already showing signs of bruising. I didn't realize I had rubbed my hands over my face, until it hurt when I made contact with my nose. I moved slowly and painfully over to one of the mirrors and checked that out. I couldn't see any obvious signs of damage, except for the smears of blood on my face. _'Okay, I should be able to disguise this.'_

The shower was just what my aching muscles needed as it eased the tightness from them. I could feel my whole body relax under the hot spray. Unbidden, Sam's face came to my mind as the spray rained down on the back of my sore neck. Long and short hair merged, as I tried to blot out the image of a dying Sam with the alive and broken one I had just met. What little hope she had built up was dashed with my arrival and the disappointment at the outcome.

The mess of my emotions coursed their way around my heart, making it constrict with pain. I had deluded myself into believing this Sam was my Sam; my heart was feeling things that it hadn't felt with the Colonel Carter I had met on the last universe. The double loss was too much. This Sam did not love me; she loved him, the one trapped by a snake. I leaned my hands then bowed my head against the wall, not feeling the hot water flow down my back. Hot tears stung my eyes before they mingled with the water that poured down the drain.

Drawing in a deep breath, a sharp pain dug into my ribs bringing me out of my misery. I slowly stood upright and stuck my face under the water, washing away all evidence of my emotional pain. I turned the faucet off and proceeded to get dried and dressed. I had a new resolve; these snakes were not going to ruin Carter and O'Neill's chances. Not in this universe. Not if I had anything to do with it.

The briefing was short, but not sweet. In fact it didn't bode well for this SGC at all. I noticed that stuffed shirt seemed to enjoy talking a lot, while Fraiser and Daniel sat silent. As he started to talk, I wondered what had happened to Jonas and Hammond and there were a few other missing faces. I couldn't be sure if they were never in this reality or if they had conveniently been removed.

"Each person on this base is one of us. We have managed to infiltrate it completely. Sometimes we have visitors from outside that are not…" He paused, looked around at the others in the room, smirked and continued, "at first, but they always leave as one of us."

He stood up from the table and wandered over to the large window and gazed out at the Stargate. "We never dreamed at first that there was a Stargate here on this planet, but when Doctor Jackson here was taken as host the first time, we found out." He spun around and faced me. The smile on his face was not nice. "This is so much better than the ship we built. We have teams off world, infiltrated within the Jaffa, Tok'ra and of course the Alpha site. The only people that we could not get anywhere with were the Kelownans; they don't like the Tau'ri very much."

He walked stiffly over to the coffee pot and poured himself a mug of hot steaming liquid. "We are in the Pentagon, but not the White House… yet." He smirked again.

"Tek'na, we must not be seen together in one place, not yet. Your host will come in very useful in the future."

He turned to Fraiser and nodded to her to continue.

"We are not worried about the entropic cascade failure, because you two are not the same, only your hosts are. But we will need to keep a close eye on your health, just in case. If the worst happens, we have another host for you."

Trying not to show my nervousness, I nodded.

"Now, Tek'na, we wish to know all about your host, where he has come from and how he came to be here."

'_Okay, so here comes the tricky bit.' _

"Sir, my host will not reveal anything to me, except that he was sent here by the Kelownans and that he wishes to go back home." I held my palms out in resignation. "He is most stubborn minded in this," I added.

O'Neill nodded in agreement. "Yes, I am surprised that he yielded that much to you. But I have a secret weapon, something that will get your host to tell you anything you wish. Not at first maybe, but eventually." He finished this with a rather evil grin.

He turned to the others. "Dismissed."

Gesturing to me to follow, he led me into his office. I stood in front of his desk, while he sat down in the soft chair. He leaned back and looked at me.

"Your host, he has feelings for Major Carter. I observed his behavior before, and you will use this to your advantage. This was the only way I managed to retrieve information from my host. It took a long time, but eventually he broke."

Feeling cold, I nodded.

He pulled out a pass card from his locked drawer and handed it to me. "This will get you into her cell whenever you want, to your quarters and to the commissary. Other locations are out of bounds to you until our visitors have left. Do you understand, Tek'na?"

"Yes, sir," I acknowledged.

"Dismissed."

Just as I turned to leave, I saw him slump down onto the desk. A strangled cry came from his form and he looked up. Wild, terrified eyes looked out at me. "No!" He leapt up over the desk lunging for me. I managed to back out of the way in time, before he slumped back down onto the floor at my feet.

I was at a loss of what to do. If I revealed myself, I might jeopardize the only chance these people had. Slowly he raised his head; he stared out at me with a look of pure hatred before his eyes glowed a pale yellow as the Goa'uld took back control.

Seeing the anger in the Goa'uld, I beat a hasty retreat. I didn't want him to know that I had seen his weakness. But internally I rejoiced; these Goa'uld were weak. If this could happen here; maybe it would happen with others. Pushing the concern I felt for the other me trapped inside his own body to the back of my mind, I walked straight towards the elevators.

Once I had arrived down among the storerooms, I swiftly checked for cameras. Pleased to see that there were none; I limped my way to her room.

I carefully opened the door a crack before peering in. There was no way I was going to risk a broken neck this time. I needn't have worried; she was lying on her back on the cot, with her foot propped up wrapped in a heavy casing of plaster.

"Carter," I hissed, and then slowly opened the door more.

She looked at me briefly then looked up at the ceiling.

After shutting the door, I limped into the room and stood by her cot and looked down at her. Immediately, I felt my emotions begin to bubble to the surface again. Knowing that this would do neither of us any good, I quashed them firmly down.

"Major Carter, attention!" I spoke harshly.

Her head snapped around and stared straight at me. I gave her my best brigadier general stare. I have to admit it must have been painful for her, but in no time she was hanging onto the wall, trying her hardest to stand to attention. As I moved to her side, I could see her eyes swiveling around to watch me.

"Eyes front, Major." She complied.

I observed the broken pieces of chair had been removed and a portable toilet had been installed in her room.

"At ease, Major."

I knew she had to be careful, she wouldn't want to give me away if I was not who I was. Also, she had no idea if I had been able to beat the snake or not. I needed her to realize that I was genuine and I needed desperately to keep this totally military, or I would never be able to cope.

"You may sit, Carter." I softened my voice.

I limped back over to the table and hoisted myself up onto it, so I could rest my knees, never once through the journey turning my back to her. That foot with a solid cast on could finish me off in a second.

"Yes, it is me, Carter. The snake is dead."

She raised one eyebrow and shrugged her shoulders. I knew it was going to be hard to convince her.

"You know the alternate O'Neill. The one that likes to be comfortable." I waved my arm down over my BDU's. I could see she still was not convinced.

"You can't fool me; I can sense your symbiote."

A tendril of doubt spiraled through me, filling me with horror. I looked to the ground, trying my hardest to cope with this knowledge. He was still there, waiting, listening, getting ready to take control. Panic began to fill me and sweat broke out across my forehead. I heard a slight noise and quickly looked up into the concerned eyes of Carter.

_DISCLAIMER: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions and Gekko Productions. This story has been written for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations and story are the property of the authors._


	15. Chapter 15

**Memoirs of Brigadier General Jack O'Neill**

(Retired)

**Part V**

**Chapter Three**

2006

"Jack? It is you, isn't it?" Sam's voice sounded desperate as she asked.

"I don't know, Carter," I admitted. "I just don't know." I could hear the panic in my voice as I spoke. "I know his name, but he never told me and now you can sense him."

She moved forward and touched the back of my neck and pushed. "Ow!" I yelped. She smiled.

"Lift up your shirt," she ordered.

At this, I raised my eyebrows in question. Her reply was a roll of her eyes and she nodded towards my shirt.

I gingerly lifted my shirt and she reached across and prodded my bruised ribs. "Ow! Carter? Do you have to?" I squawked.

She leaned back away from me and grinned. It was the first time I had seen her really smile since I arrived.

"Sir, you are not Goa'uld; he would have healed you by now. If not your ribs, he would definitely have healed the entry wound up at the back of your neck."

I closed my eyes with relief. I was okay. I was thankful that I had not had a haircut in quite a while as it would help conceal the entry wound.

"What happened?" she asked, still standing right in front of me.

Feeling a little uncomfortable with her standing so close, I shooed her back onto the cot with my hand, "You need to rest that foot, Carter."

Turning, she slowly clomped her way back to the cot. I wasn't sure if I imagined it or not, but I think I caught a glimpse of disappointment at my dismissal on her face. After she sat down heavily onto the cot, the look I thought had been there was gone.

"So if it's dead how come you can sense it?" Even with her explanation about the dead Goa'uld, I still needed more convincing.

She shrugged in reply. "It must be just the naquadah left in your system, but I don't know how long it will last before you end up with just a trace of it, like I have."

'_Okay, this is confusing.' _"Carter, this is confusing. What happened? Why are you in this predicament? Why aren't you a Goa'uld? Is Siler a friend or foe? Where's Ham-"

"Stop!" She didn't shout, but she wasn't far off it. "Please, you are the first friend that I have been able to talk to for two years, if not longer." She stopped talking for a minute, and then added very quietly, "I've lost count now."

This information shocked me; I knew that it must have been a long time, but two years?

I waited for a while, but as nothing was forthcoming, I risked another two questions. "Why did my Goa'uld die? Is it because they are weak?"

She looked up from studying her hands and I was relieved to see some hope in her eyes, hope that hadn't been there before. "Yes and no," she replied.

"Okay. What happened?"

"Well I s'pose it all started two years ago, as I said before. I received a phone call from Richard Fleming and he informed me that the experimentation hadn't stopped but that it was continuing in a town called Steveson. There was an accident; they found his wrecked car, but no body. The whole of the town had been taken over by Goa'ulds, which had been cloned. That is why no one knew, no naquadah." I sat there totally lost for words. For the first time, I heard Carter ramble; usually she was so precise, but confusing with her words. Now she was just confusing.

I held my hand up to stop her, "Slow down, Carter. I know about Steveson, it happened in my world. When did it go wrong?"

"It was after they put that Goa'uld in me." Her body gave an involuntary shudder. Mine followed suit as I remembered the slippery wet feel of it on my neck, before the excruciating pain… '_oh not going there, Jack.' _"I managed to defeat the Goa'uld as it died from the antibiotic that Fleming left, then as I turned my zat onto the Goa'ulds-" She stopped and looked up at me, her eyes full of distress. "They'd put one into Daniel first, he didn't have a chance. I didn't know." She shook her head and looked back down at her hands as they fiddled with the material on her BDU pants. "I woke up here, and it's where I've been ever since." She shrugged her shoulders. "Except for a couple of hours a week up top for some sunshine. The only reason they keep me alive is so they can control Colonel O'Neill."

Choosing to ignore her last remark, I asked, "You're in shape. How did you manage to keep up this level of fitness?"

"It's been the only way to stop myself from becoming insane. And I nearly killed him twice." She lifted her fist and thumped her leg with the broken foot. "But I'm just not fast enough."

I remembered the speed that she had shown when she nearly killed me, and I must have made a noise as she looked up at me sharply.

"I know he wants to die; he doesn't want to live like that." She spoke vehemently as she leaned forward staring at me hard.

I nodded, looking straight back into her eyes, "Yes, he would, but not now; we can get him free," I assured her, although I still wasn't sure how – but there had to be a plan.

As if reading my mind, Carter asked, "What's the plan?"

"Dunno. So you never met Jonas?" I said, still wondering how it had all gone wrong.

"Jonas Hanson?" she asked.

"No. Jonas Quinn, from Kelowna."

"Oh him. Yes, we did meet him, but he died. He saved all of our lives and those of his people, but they blamed us for his death. They said we sabotaged their experiment. What has he got to do with this?"

I could see Carter's mind beginning to revolve around what I had been saying. "That will be the difference between our worlds. Daniel died in ours and Jonas lived. He came and joined SG-1 and he was with you… well, our you… but with SG-1 in Steveson."

"You weren't there?" she asked.

"No, what about your O'Neill?" I dreaded the answer as I was pretty sure I already knew it.

"He was with the Tok'ra. He was the only one left that-"

"Hadn't been cured in Antarctica," I finished for her.

She smiled. "Yes he was to have temporarily joined with a Tok'ra symbiote. It was supposed to heal him and leave. We never thought…" sadness emanated from her. I guessed that had been the last time she had seen him. The real him. The one she'd known before he'd been lost to her.

Horror crawled through me as I realized he would have come back from being tortured by Baal only to be taken over by this Goa'uld.

"We have to free him!" I blurted out with vehemence.

Carter looked up again with surprise, "We have to free them all," she admonished adding, "Sir."

"Yes," I agreed. "But there's something about O'Neill, something that you don't know." I held my hand up. "Later, I will tell you later. I have some more questions, things I need to know, before my time runs out here." I quickly looked behind me; I knew there was no one there, but I found myself doing it anyway.

"First of all, I know that the Goa'uld in Steveson didn't have naquadah in their blood, so what's with that?"

"They added the naquadah to the symbiote clones. They wanted to know who had symbiotes and who didn't. For some reason they can't make that weird voice that the Goa'uld use. And most can't make their eyes glow. It only normally happens once when the symbiote first takes control and then that's it. The only Goa'ulds that seem to be able to do that are Daniel's and the Colonel's Goa'uld and then it is only sometimes." She let out a tired sigh. "I don't know how my Dad is or even if he is alive; they made sure that all ties with the Tok'ra were severed." She looked sad. "They had General Hammond killed near the beginning; they made it look like an accident, but they definitely murdered him."

I could see she was getting more depressed and desolate as she spoke. "Sam." She looked up. "I think you… we have an ally."

"Who?"

"Siler, he brought me a bottle of water when they had me locked up. The cap had been tampered with and I am certain it wasn't me that killed that Goa'uld. Something in me killed it."

She nodded. "Could be. I hope so."

I wasn't sure that she was convinced; it must have been hard living in here for that length of time, with no friend, only your _… _

"You and O'Neill, what is it with you two?"

She frowned and looked puzzled.

"You know," I waved my arms around like a windmill, "Back then, when I came in the first time and you didn't sense the symbiote, you thought I was him and the Goa'uld was dead."

A faint blush begun to spread up her neck into her cheeks. "I was so relieved; I couldn't sense the symbiote anymore and I sort of forgot myself. And the last time I had seen him I had smashed a chair over his head," she said as though trying to kill him before was an excuse.

I couldn't help but grin at the thought of Carter smashing a chair over the head of that slimy snake and was thankful that she had realized that I was not a Goa'uld in time.

"Oh." I felt disappointed. "So the regulations are in force here too?"

She nodded, the colour still quite pink in her cheeks.

"Carter." She looked at me cautiously, "I won't tell, if you don't." I couldn't help giving her my best smile, and then waggled my eyebrows. I was pleased to see my attempt at levity work, as she stifled a giggle.

Looking serious again, she asked the question that I had been putting off, "What happened to the colonel?"

I slid off the table and started to wander around the small space, working out the kinks in my already stiffening muscles. "The Tok'ra Kanan healed O'Neill, but he decided to go for a jaunt to retrieve his girlfriend. Unfortunately, his girlfriend was the Lotar of the Goa'uld Baal. Kanan left him when Baal killed him the first time."

"First time?"

"Yup, Baal, liked to use the sarcophagus a lot. He basically tortured him to find out information until he died, then revived him and started all over again."

I heard her let out a small gasp behind me, "How did you… he escape?"

"I don't know how he escaped here, as my Carter had something to do with how I escaped in my world." I had turned around to face her as I answered her question and saw that tears had started to roll down her now white cheeks.

Swiftly, I moved to her side and sat down beside her, forgetting my resolve to keep my distance. "Carter, I think I can fool them for a while, but I don't think I can for long. You know the escargot failure?"

She smiled and corrected me, "Entropic Cascade failure. I agree, I don't think the Goa'uld in the colonel is going to make much difference."

"I am going to sound out Siler, see if he's on our side."

She nodded before burying her head into my neck and putting her arms around me clinging tightly. Forgetting my own feelings, I held her back, knowing this was for my other self. If I wasn't to have my own Carter, then I was going to make sure that this O'Neill did.

It was time to get back and report to shiny boots. Giving her a quick squeeze I stiffly stood up. I could still feel sharp stabs of pain in my body that had been inflicted by the Neanderthals.

I had stood up not a moment to soon, as the other Goa'ulded me strode into the room, announcing his presence by slamming the door violently against the wall as it crashed open. As soon as he saw Sam's tear streaked face, his mouth turned into a malicious sneer.

"So, has your host told you anything yet?" he asked me. Not once taking his eyes off Carter.

I shrugged and walked out the room, ignoring Carter, hoping the Goa'uld would follow. I was both gratified and relieved to hear that my plan worked, as I heard the door clang shut behind me and my evil twin.

"Come." He indicated with his hand to another storeroom. "We mustn't be seen together."

As I stepped into the storeroom, I was surprised to see it was empty but for a table and two chairs. Two Neanderthals stood guard by the now closed doorway. Unknowingly, he copied my previous actions as he perched himself onto the table. "So, what information does your host have?" he demanded.

"Not much. My host is most stubborn."

I could not only sense but see the stirrings of anger in this snake infested replica of me. I knew I had to give him something or he would go to Carter himself.

"The SGC in his world are free of the Goa'uld," I quickly blurted out.

"What happened in Steveson, in his world?"

Realizing where he was going with this, I had to hide anything that I knew of that situation at all costs. "He doesn't know much. He was a prisoner of Baal when that happened."

He nodded in agreement at my information. So it had happened to this O'Neill too.

"You have to be strong; these hosts that we have are pig-headed and stubborn."

I gave a quick nod in agreement, restraining myself from making the caustic remark that I wanted to reply with.

"Enough for now. I want to see you at," he glanced at his watch, "1400 hours in my office."

"Yes, sir," I replied and promptly opened the door and walked to the elevator, without a backward glance at Carter's door. As soon as the elevator doors closed, I leaned my sore and tired body against the wall. A dull ache permeated my knees and ribs. I needed sleep, my body needed to heal, but this was not going to happen in a hurry. First I needed to get some food, and then find Siler.

After entering the commissary, I walked straight to the coffee machine. I knew it would give me a quick boost which I needed if I was going to keep up the act. As I reached for the coffee pot, a hand appeared before my eyes, holding a bottle of water.

"Sir. You must be thirsty."

I swiveled around on one foot and stared straight at Siler, "Why thank you, Siler, just what I needed." I unscrewed the top and took a large swig of the ice cold water. It was barely perceptible, but I noticed a slight relaxation of his shoulders as I lowered the bottle.

"Sir, I need your help in lab 26," he stood patiently waiting for my answer.

"Okay, Sparky, see you in ten." He nodded and walked out of the commissary. Puzzled slightly by the display, I grabbed a couple of sandwiches and followed Siler out the door.

Lab 26 was quiet and the lighting was subdued. Cautiously I peeked around the doorway and spotted Siler lying on the floor underneath one of the benches fiddling with some contraption.

"Siler?"

I carefully bent down to have a look at what he was doing.

"Will you pass me the wrench please, sir?" he asked.

I looked around for a wrench then spotted it just to my right; I quickly picked it up and passed it to him.

My head hurt and bright lights were flashing in my eyes. I cautiously opened my eyes, wondering if the flashing was going to get worse. The first sight to reach them was Siler crouched in front of me removing some small doohickey from the back of my hand. I was sitting up leaning against the wall, and I noticed the door to the lab was shut.

"Siler?" I used my best Brigadier General warning voice. Not that Siler knew I was a Brigadier General. "What happened here?" I asked, as he hadn't been forthcoming with anything so far.

"You're not a Goa'uld," he stated, then sat back on his heels.

"So?" I tilted my head to the side. "Nor are you, I hope," I added.

He smiled then stood up with ease. Oh how I envied the effortlessness of pain free knees on this man. "No, you're right, I'm not a Goa'uld. We don't have much time, so listen carefully. There are about eight of us that have managed to kill the Goa'uld that was transplanted in us. Nine now, because of you. You must drink three bottles of this water a day as it has naquadah in it, plus a killing agent. Just in case they get wind of what is going on.

General O'Neill does not drink water - only coffee and we can't just slip him the killing agent as it doesn't work after being heated. Your arrival has given us the opportunity that we have been waiting for. Now we can take him out and put you in his place then slowly get everyone back to normal."

I quickly shook my head, "No. You mustn't kill him; O'Neill is strong. Earlier, I saw him nearly take back control."

Siler looked surprised at this information. "This is better; he will be able to reclaim control after we have administered the antidote."

"What do you mean, 'reclaim control'?"

"The antidote isn't as strong as Major Carter's was; it only helps the host to take back control of his or her own body. Eventually the symbiote dies, but only after drinking this." He held up a full bottle of water.

"So." I pointed to the small doohickey that had been on my hand. "That tells you that I am in control or that the Goa'uld is dead." I was feeling rather nervous about this new information.

"No, it is dead. The bottle I gave you before you were implanted." I winced at the word. Siler ignored me and continued, "It had an extra strong dose in it; I had to make sure that it really did die."

I slowly stood up, dusted imaginary specks off of my pants and asked my next question. "What now?"

"You wait for my signal. The code name is 'Thor'. It might not be me; it might be anyone else here that comes to you. You follow that person and we will swap you over with the General and slowly we will take back control of the base."

I nodded in agreement. "Siler, because of some failure thingy, I can't be here long or I will go all sideways. You will have to act quickly."

"Yes, sir. We know of this and we will be working as quickly as we can."

I left the lab with a bounce in my step. This was great news; with careful planning we should have the SGC back in control soon. Now all I had to wait for was Siler's message.

The message did not come until the next day. On the previous day I had gone to shiny boot's office for my meeting, but he had been called away for something. I was relieved, the last thing I wanted to do was to have to come up with more information about my world.

I was puzzled about how the 'general' was running things. As far as I could see, SG teams were going off world like normal. There were no Jaffa, just these rather large SF's that seemed to have got out of the wrong side of the bed each morning. I was pleased that they now treated me with respect and usually saluted me smartly when I walked down the hallways.

I had just downed my second bottle of 'water' for the day, when the message came. One of the said bad tempered SF's came up to me.

"Thor wishes to see you, sir." I was surprised, but I still followed him out the commissary door. I was glad to see he wasn't one of the SF's that had beaten me up, as I don't think I would have been able to control my temper when we got inside the elevator.

The SF stood still as stone in the elevator without saying a word. It was obvious that I was not going to get any information out of him in a big hurry. After the doors opened he led me along to Carter's old lab. He opened the door with a pass card and waited for me to go through. Sitting on the floor in front of me was a very irate snakehead. O'Neill's hands and feet were tied and I noticed that a gag was firmly tied around his head to stop the tirade that I was sure would be coming out of his mouth. Kneeling on the floor right by his side was Doctor Fraiser, needle held in the air, ready to plunge into his arm. At this spectacle, I stood still and folded my arms and watched, highly amused.

It wasn't until Doctor Fraiser stood up and put her empty syringe away that I remembered what had happened when I had been captured.

"Doc!" I admonished. "How could you?"

She turned beet red and looked at the floor. "I had to make it convincing."

"Well it worked. You certainly convinced me." I could hear the hurt that I was feeling come through in the sound of my voice.

She looked up. "Sorry, sir," she said and then grinned.

I looked sideways at her and then knelt down in front of shiny boots. Actually they weren't so shiny now, as they had got scuffed in the struggle and his clothes were all awry. In fact they now looked a lot more comfortable.

"Jack." I grabbed his head and made him look at me.

His eyes were glazed over, no one was in control. Remembering what Carter had said to me, I repeated the same to him.

"You can fight this, you have to fight it." Turning to Doctor Fraiser, I asked. "How strong was the dose."

"As strong as yours was."

Looking back into Jack's eyes I saw a flicker of fear in them, and it wasn't Jack. "Jack, you have to fight this. For Sam's sake."

I saw his face grimace at her name. Jack was at home. Not a hundred percent sure why, but I had a fair idea. "She forgives you, Jack. She told me herself, you have to fight it."

I heard a gasp behind me as I saw a faint glow of yellow in his eyes before they faded into haunted brown ones.

I let out a sigh and leaned back on my heels. "Give him another dose, just to be sure."

"I can't; it will knock him out."

"It won't matter, Doc. He won't be able to help for a while. None of the 'hosts' will be able to help once we kill the Goa'ulds that possess them; they will be too traumatized."

Leaning down again, she injected another dose into Jack. As soon as he had passed out, I didn't lose much time.

"Quick, someone help me with his clothes. Anyone got a shoeshine kit? We can't have General shiny shoes going around with scuffed boots now can we?"

Twenty-five minutes later I stiffly walked down the corridor with Siler and Doc Fraiser in tow. '_No wonder this Goa'uld walked so funny; the neck size was too small.'_

It took five hours to slowly work our way around most of the personnel on base. Once we had injected the majority of the personnel, we then introduced the antidote into the drinking water. By the end of the day, all personnel were back to normal. Well, as normal as they would ever be. The ones that had been Goa'ulded the longest were the ones that seemed to need Doctor Fraiser's knockout shots.

We found Paul Davis locked up in a cell not far from Carter. They had discovered that the symbiote had died, but they didn't know why. It was just as well we acted when we did or they would have found out soon enough when the 'water' had worn off and they had reintroduced another symbiote. It had been his voice that I had heard yelling two days ago.

I was concerned because there was no sign of Carter. One of Siler's undercover operatives had been to fetch her earlier, but she hadn't materialized. When I saw the operative, I quickly cornered him.

"Where's Carter?"

"Sorry, sir, she is hurt bad. I had to take her to the infirmary."

I ran down the hall, around the corner and slap into Daniel. "Daniel," I puffed. "Carter, she's hurt; come on."

Suddenly I felt a vice grip around my throat and was slammed into the wall. Yellow light shone from Daniel's eyes.

'_Crap.'_

"You are not General O'Neill."

"No kidding," I retorted.

"Where is he?"

I was greatly disturbed to hear the double echo of his voice as he spoke.

"You're not from Steveson, are you?" I choked out.

"No kidding," he replied, then squeezed more tightly.

'_What's worse than a Goa'uld without a sense of humour? One with a sense of humour.'_

I felt myself begin to lose consciousness as I struggled to breathe, but just before everything went black, I heard a whine then pain. Lots of pain, then blackness.

_DISCLAIMER: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions and Gekko Productions. This story has been written for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations and story are the property of the authors._


	16. Chapter 16

**Memoirs of Brigadier General Jack O'Neill**

(Retired)

**Part V**

**Chapter Four**

2006

I groaned as I tried to turn over onto my side; the floor was hard and something very heavy was lying on my head. Reaching up with my hands, I pushed a body off my head and opened my eyes. I blinked at the bright light, then wham, straight into each eyeball.

"Doc!" I whined. "Get orf me." Pushing away with my hands I scrambled rather wobbly to my feet.

I watched as Siler injected something into Daniel's arm.

"It won't work. He's a real Goa'uld; eyes glowing, double voiced, snake infested-." I went into a choking fit as my throat protested at the abuse I was putting it through.

"Siler, if he's right, that won't work," Fraiser quickly said. "We must tie him up and get back into contact with the Tok'ra; maybe they can help.

I nodded, and then regretted it as my head began spin.

"Carter?" I croaked out.

"She's all right, sir. She's in the infirmary. Where you are going, I might add." With that said, she physically pushed me down the hallway towards the infirmary. I turned back to see Siler and his henchmen tying Daniel up and dragging him off to the cells.

As soon as we reached the infirmary I shrugged off Doctor Fraiser, who was propelling me to an empty bed. I could hear Carter's voice talking with someone behind a curtain. Having found my land legs again and not being so wobbly anymore, I strode to the curtained cubicle and poked my head around.

'_Of all the stupid things to do Jack, this takes the cake.'_

"Erm… sorry." I quickly withdrew my head. I felt my face go hot and Fraiser was looking at me strangely.

Ducking my head back behind the curtain, "No, actually I am not sorry," then stepped inside it. "Hi ya kids." I grinned and waved a hand out stiffly.

Carter was propped up on some pillows; her face looked like someone had used it as a punching bag and her arm was in a sling. Sitting on the bed beside her, legs stretched out along the top and with his arm around her, was the other Jack. He had a haunted look about him, but he was still looking mightily pleased with himself.

I noted the bruised knuckles on his hands and put two and two together _'yes I can do math' _and realized why he had reacted to her name earlier.

I gave them a lopsided grin and then straightened my features. "Don't let anything stop you two. That's an order."

As I flicked my way through the curtains back out into the infirmary, I noticed they were following my orders, totally oblivious to anything in the room.

Feeling like I had done a job well, I stretched my arms then took two steps.

"Argh!"

Four Jaffa had just grabbed hold of me and stretched me in four different directions and I was sitting on the floor holding my head. At least that is what it felt like.

"We have to get you back to your own universe," Fraiser stated.

"Ya think!"

I turned towards the voice and saw two anxious faces staring out from behind Carter's curtain.

"You're not following orders," I admonished. "I'll be fine." I waved them away and was pleased to see them disappear behind the curtain.

Fraiser helped me up and we quickly walked towards the Stargate room. It seemed that Paul Davis was in charge until O'Neill recuperated. There were a few shell-shocked personnel walking around the corridors who really should have been resting, but they seemed to need to keep busy. Siler was in the 'gate room, checking things over as usual.

As I reached the ramp, the Stargate burst into life. "We've entered the co-ordinates you gave us, Colonel, and here are your things." _'I did?' _As he handed them to me, his face broke into a large smile. "Thank you for your help and I am sorry that you were treated so badly when you first arrived." He spoke as though it could have been prevented. "Sir?" he asked at my puzzled expression.

I relaxed as I recalled giving him the coordinates earlier and which planet they were for. I returned Siler's smile.

I am sure that I saw a smirk on Fraiser's face as she handed me a plastic bag with some of my clothes in it.

"I promise no starch."

Yup a smirk. Rolling my eyes at her, I gave her a small grin. "I wish I could stay and help you out, but-"

Once again the entropic cascade failure attacked me and I fell to the floor.

I slowly stood up, speaking as I went. "- the escargot casing failure will get worse."

She smirked again.

Gathering my things, I slowly walked up the ramp. Just as I turned to go through the 'gate I looked up to the control booth. Standing close together, flaunting regulations stood Jack and Sam. How it should be, _'should've been.' _With a wave and a feeling of regret I stepped through the Stargate into the whirlpool of energy and was spat out the other side into a tangled, untidy heap.

Immediately, before I even had a chance to stand, the entropic cascade failure hit me again. As soon as it ended, I staggered to my feet and ran. I only suffered three more attacks before I reached the cave. Delving into my bag, I dragged out the device, switched it on and touched the pillar. The room spun around and I fell to the ground unconscious.

This time I woke up with a headache. My ribs hurt, my knees hurt and now my head felt like a very large Jaffa was tapping it with his staff weapon. I slowly sat up and rubbed the back of my neck, promptly regretting it. "Ow!" I carefully stood up, trying not to joggle my head too much and looked around the cave. Once again it was exactly the same as it was the first time I had seen it. The only time that it had been empty was when I first went through the mirror/pillar - whatever it is called.

I stuffed the plastic bag of clothes into my overfull back pack and staggered to the cave entrance. The sunlight was blinding, so I pulled out my sunglasses and slid them on. I most probably made history that day and didn't look up at the sun.

All I wanted to do was go somewhere safe, somewhere where I could rest and not worry about Goa'ulded friends and seeing people I cared about suffering or dying in front of me. The nice fuzzy feeling I had felt at seeing the other me with Carter had fled when I stepped through the Stargate. A feeling of loss enveloped me as I walked back towards the Stargate. I needed to heal. Part of me wanted to get back to my own world, but another part of me wondered if there was another SGC out there, one where an O'Neill was dead and a Carter was missing him? The Carter I had left behind in the last world had been the closest to my Carter so far. _'So far.' _That thought scared me - I didn't want a 'so far', I wanted home. Or did I? I didn't know anymore.

I didn't even register what glyphs I punched into the DHD, I was on automatic pilot. With a feeling of relief I stepped up towards the giant blue puddle. I was going somewhere that I knew I would get a good response, somewhere that would be safe. Just as I stepped into the vortex a little voice in the back of my mind said, _'Maybe.'_

"Crap."

It was a wasteland. Not a person in sight. I stared in disbelief at what used to be a busy highway with people and tradesmen going on their way, horses and carriages rumbling over the cobblestones. But now… nothing. Just stones and weeds. The buildings were tumble down ruins. The wind whistled around the empty spaces that once had washing waving about like flags in the wind.

"Mariam, Eimon." Their names came involuntary from my mouth. They weren't here. They never were here; this place had been derelict for years, maybe hundreds of years.

The sky was clear blue; no clouds marred the beautiful hue. Not sure what to do I hobbled down towards their street, but when I reached it there was barely anything there. Most of the house was gone, Just a few rooms and a corner of the kitchen. I was surprised to see the large earthenware urns propped up against the wall just as it had been when I lived here.

I wandered in and out of the ruined houses looking for something; I didn't know what. I think if I had actually come across a living being I would have been surprised; nothing could live here. The light wind that I had felt earlier was building up into a storm. Looking up at the sky I was surprised to not see any clouds; the sky was still clear blue. Deciding to take some shelter I moved into the next-door neighbor's house. They were never that nice when I stayed with Mariam, but I didn't really care. A large tumbleweed rolled past the window. There was nothing here of interest either, so I went back to Mariam's house. After moping around for a bit, I decided I should go back to the mirror planet. I needed to get home. Moving from one alternate universe to another wasn't doing me any good. I noticed the wind had picked up as I stepped out of the ruined building. Suddenly, without any warning, I was picked up by the howling gale and bodily thrown against the side of the building. Dust, plants and bits of debris slammed into me as I tried desperately to get my breath back. With great difficulty I slid along the wall, and then flipped around behind it. Though the wind was still buffeting me around in there, at least I could move.

Seeing the large jars were unaffected by the wind, I pushed them out of the way and crouched down covering my head as the wind churned the dust and small stones around me. Looking down at my feet, I watched a small insect scurry across the floor and straight into the wall. Intrigued, I pushed more urns out of the way and ran my hand along where the insect had gone. A thin hairline crack ran horizontally along the wall about one inch up. The crack was about four feet long. Dust and rubbish had packed into the crack, but I started to push the surrounding wall. Nothing happened at first, then I felt some slight movement before I was suddenly falling down some really hard stone steps that had sharp corners.

"Oomph!" I landed at the bottom in ungainly heap. I carefully checked to see if any part of me was injured and more importantly that my weapons hadn't been damaged. Everything seemed okay for now, so I pulled out my flashlight and shone it up the long flight of stairs. I was one lucky man; that was quite a tumble. Maybe the fact I had bounced on every step all the way down had slowed my landing. Grimacing, I flexed my arm and rolled my shoulder around its socket. I then shone my flashlight around me and saw a long tunnel.

"Cool." I couldn't go back up while that wind was blowing and this looked interesting.

Thirty minutes later, I found another short set of steps; I quickly climbed up them and pushed at the hatchway at the top. It broke free suddenly, and my head popped out into the wind. Not something that I would recommend anyone to do in this kind of weather, but still I survived and I quickly dropped back down. But I had seen enough to know where I was. I was on the side of the hill that rose up behind the town where Mariam had lived and in fact I used to run along here when I was jogging every day.

I quickly climbed back down the steps and continued along the tunnel. I found two other openings, one similar but it was further away of course. However, I couldn't get the second hatchway open. Finally the tunnel stopped; I had come to a cave in. I was disappointed because I wondered where it eventually went to. Earlier on I had seen a tunnel going out at right angles to this one, so I retraced my steps and followed that. I was glad there weren't too many tunnels or I could have got lost and wandered around in them for days. This tunnel meandered all around, so I had no idea where I was or which direction I was in.

Finally I came to a long row of steps leading up above me. I started to climb them, wondering where they went. They were long, as long as the first set of steps I had originally descended. If I didn't know any better they could have been the very same steps. I had soon reached the top only to find that the way was blocked by a huge stone. Putting my flashlight down between my feet, I started to push. It was hard work with it being above me, but after a while the stone started to move and I heard the grating sound of stone and against stone. This time when it finally moved, I didn't pop my head out. Not that I needed to have worried as the wind had seemed to have died down. Cautiously, I climbed out onto the surface and looked straight at the Stargate. I had almost gone around in a complete circle, because now I was back in the town. I reached back down and retrieved my flashlight, then pushed the stone back until it locked into place. Walking down the steps of the Stargate over to the DHD, I looked back at where the tunnel had been and I couldn't see anything different. It was perfectly hidden in the stones leading down from the side of the Stargate.

Tucking the information about the tunnels away in the back of my mind, I dialed 'the' planet. I knew the address by heart, back to front and inside out now. This was getting very old very quickly.

I wasted no time in returning to the cave, almost running. As I reached the cave entrance, for the first time I stepped into it without checking to see if anyone or anything was inside. I scanned the shelves before I pulled out the doohickey from my pack. I seriously thought about grabbing some of the technology off the shelves, but that could wait until I got home. They should be still there in my reality. I clicked the dial around one more notch on the gadget and, hoping it was the correct one, I touched the mirror.

The room started to spin, with lights reflecting off the surfaces. Nausea rose up inside me and I fell unconscious to the floor.

_DISCLAIMER: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions and Gekko Productions. This story has been written for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations and story are the property of the authors._


	17. Chapter 17

**Memoirs of Brigadier General Jack O'Neill**

(Retired)

**Part V**

**Chapter Five**

2006

My head hurt and a dull thump was pounding at the back of my head. _'Well, this must be a good sign.'_

I staggered to my feet and walked to the entrance of the cave; howling gales and rain were lashing the trees and land. The wind which hurt my ears whistled along the cliff face above the cave. The tall grass was flattened horizontally by the wind that roared across the landscape. For the first time, I didn't know what to do. Should I go ahead and risk it, or go back and try again? I looked back into the cave and swung my flashlight around the interior.

The sound stopped.

I spun around with my P-90 ready to fire. The wind, clouds and rain had gone. What had been tall grass was now a long and winding dirt road. It wasn't even wet from the rain. I let out a sigh of relief; I was home. This must be my reality as the planet that I had arrived on so many months ago behaved just as absurdly as this one.

I quickly checked my control device and memorized the markings on it, just in case. I had been bitten too many times and if it wasn't my universe, it was pretty close.

I didn't waste any time and headed straight to the Stargate, the planet seeming to behave itself the whole way there. I dialed up Kelowna and walked through the event horizon, eager to get home.

The horror that met me filled me with dread. Baal had been here, or his cohorts had. The familiar sight of lesions on the dead that littered the floor of the room, such as we had seen on the Beta site, made me sink to my knees and throw up. Kelownans and SGC personnel made up a mix of the people that lay there.

"Jack." I turned upon hearing the sound of my name.

Jonas was propped up against the wall. I moved slowly towards him while his eyes tracked my movements.

"Jack, you're okay." I knelt down on one knee beside him, as he struggled to breathe. "Baal hit Earth and us simultaneously. It's gone, all gone."

"No," I breathed.

"The self-destruct at the SGC, ha-"He scrunched his face up with the pain. "–have you set it?"

"No, Jonas. I will, but I need a GDO. Where is it?"

"Here." He gasped and pulled it out from behind his body. Why he had it there, I would never find out. "The code is 2674930217"

I repeated the code. "2674930217"

He nodded. "Go."

Before I stood up, I gently touched his shoulder; I wasn't worried about contamination as I already knew I was a dead man. I gave him one last look before dialing up the 'gate and sending through the code. I was half surprised to see it was accepted, but I knew that there was a fail safe set in if it was unmanned at any time, not that it had ever happened before.

As I stepped into the wormhole, Jonas called out something after me that sounded wrong. "We should have left Baal's garrison alone." All thoughts of what he said were blown out of my head as I arrived on the other side.

The 'gate room mirrored what I had seen in Kelowna, but on a bigger scale. Friends and people that I knew and cared about were lying haphazardly on equipment and the floor; some were huddled into pairs or groups as they had died, while others had died alone.

"General?" The unmistakable voice of Walter was distorted by the croakiness of his throat.

I quickly looked up into the haunted eyes of the brave technician. He was barely hanging on, but he had managed to so I could come through safely. As I leapt over the fallen airmen and women and pounded up the stairs two at a time I watched him slowly slip down behind the console. By the time I had reached him, he had gone. Something hurt internally as I looked at this courageous man who had stayed alive, just to let me through.

I slowly walked through to what would now be Hammond's office; I didn't have long before the virus would take me down too. I needed to find out first if anyone else was alive, as only two senior officers could set the self-destruct and I hadn't worked out how to manage that yet.

I pushed open the door and glanced around what I thought was an empty room, and then my heart started to race. First, I wanted to cry with relief, then with despair. I wasn't in my own reality, this was an alternate one. I walked over to the couple that was half-sitting half-lying against the floor and wall. By the stars on his lapels I could see he was also a general. It was weird looking at myself, dead. The only consolation that I could feel was that he had died holding onto the one person he loved above all else in this world, Lieutenant Colonel Carter.

I couldn't see her face as it was buried in his chest and her arms were tightly wound around his torso. His arms were wrapped around her shoulders, his head leaning back against the wall and his eyes closed. I checked to see if they were still alive, but they were cold to the touch.

I brushed the tears angrily from my cheeks as I staggered out into the briefing room. Now, what Jonas had said all made sense. This was not my reality and I would finally die here in another universe, on my own. No Sam to hold like the man back there. They were all dead. Even though not my people, it felt just as painful. A blind rage came over me at the thought of all the wasted lives. I don't remember what happened during that time, but when the rage had left me; my arms ached from the exertion. I stared around me, the room was a shambles. I had never lost my temper to this degree before; smashed chairs were scattered around, glasses and equipment lay broken on the ground. I stared down at my bruised and cut hands. I quickly pulled out a handkerchief and wrapped it around a deep cut on the palm of my hand.

My heart began to slow down its excessive beating as I slowly walked from the room. Resolved to my fate and the fate of this complex I moved quickly through the corridors looking for anyone that might have survived. Even if they were like Walter, nearly gone, I still needed their help. Baal was not going to get the SGC and what we had worked so hard for. We as in O'Neill of this reality and me.

I worked my way to Sam's lab; if anything about what had happened had been recorded it most probably would be there. I needed to find out how the toxin had been administered, if it was via the Stargate the SGC would need to be sealed, if it wasn't already.

I made a quick detour via the infirmary, my hand was giving me trouble and I needed something to stop the bleeding. As I began to get closer to the infirmary I heard a dull banging noise, then it stopped. I wasn't one hundred percent sure, but it seemed to come from the infirmary. Of course if someone was still alive, the infirmary would be the place. I began to run, shoving open the doors I burst into the large main room. I was met with the same sight I had seen in the Stargate room. As far as I could see they were all dead.

"Anyone here?" I called. My voice sounded hollow in the quiet room.

I moved quickly through to the isolation rooms; maybe something there would help me. The first room I came across filled me with sadness. Hanging by one arm, Daniel was half lying on the floor. His arm was hooked into a circular wheel like you see on submarines. This was something new to the SGC, something that hadn't been here before. He was dead also. I heard a slight noise and I walked past Daniel into the observation booth and peered through the glass. It was fairly dark in there, but I saw a small scrunched over figure hugging her knees and rocking slightly forward and back, forward and back.

I banged on the glass, startled; Doctor Fraiser glanced up at me. She slowly shook her head and then buried it back into her knees.

I yanked the intercom mike over and pressed the button. _'This'd better work.' _"Doc." She stopped rocking momentarily then continued. "Doc! It's me, O'Neill." This time she looked up at me. I grinned at her and waved one hand at her. Then pointed to my bandaged hand. "I need your help, cut myself."

She shot straight up and walked over to the wall and switched on the intercom. "I don't understand; Daniel said you were dead."

"Long story, I'm from another universe. You know the mirror thing that Daniel stumbled across. You gonna help me?"

She nodded, and then wiped her sleeve across her eyes. "I can't get out. Can you get the door open?"

"No problem," I replied, dreading the task that I was going to have to undertake.

I moved back out into the hallway, then stopped and walked straight back into the observation booth.

Lifting the microphone to my mouth I spoke to Janet again. "Doc." She looked up at me and frowned. "If I come in there you will die." She shook her head.

"How long have you been exposed to the air here?"

I looked at my watch. "About twenty minutes here and ten minutes prior in Kelowna."

She smiled, "Then we still have time. Do you trust me?" I nodded. "Get in here, but hurry as your life may depend on it."

Not stopping to ask why or what she meant, I went back through to the corridor and the door. Carefully I removed Daniel's body. It was hard to do, not only physically, but emotionally as well. I laid him gently down on the floor; his eyes were shut tight as though he had been in pain as he died. Blocking out the emotions that flowed through me, I turned my attention back to the door.

The handle turned smoothly and quickly and I opened it to go into an airlock. I quickly shut the door behind me while Doctor Fraiser changed the air in the airlock. Then her door opened and I walked into the room. The first thing she did was to rip the sleeve from my arm, which isn't easy I know, and stuck a needle straight into my arm, pushing the plunger down hard.

"Ow! What ya doing, Doc?"

"Saving your life, so shut up. Sir," she added. Now we wait."

"Wait for what? To die?" I asked.

"No." Doctor Fraiser was back; she was busy checking my vital signs and was pulling out her medical kit, so that she could stitch me up.

I was just going to make some quip about the penlight when, lo and behold out it came.

"Doc, leave it out won't ya?"

"No. Now let's look at this hand." She pulled my hand towards her and unwrapped the makeshift bandage. "What did you do this on?"

I shrugged. She looked up at me sharply, waiting for an answer. "I don't know, something in the briefing room. I think it was the decanter of water." She still looked at me. "I had just been in Hammond's office."

"Oh." She looked down at what she was doing. "I see. Daniel told me."

Finally, she took some blood and put it in a machine that whizzed around really fast.

"What happened, Doc?" Her back was to me as I asked the question and I watched her shoulders stiffen and then relax slightly as the busied herself with things on the bench.

Her voice was quiet. "I'm hoping that I've found an inoculation or cure for the virus that Baal has used." She hadn't answered my question. Doc peered through a microscope at a slide she had prepared, and then showed me on a monitor. "See, the virus is already attacking your cells." I wasn't surprised at what she had told me. "Please, I need more blood."

I rolled up my sleeve on my arm that still had a sleeve on it and she once again drew more blood. "You have good veins; this makes it so much easier."

I gave a half smile, tilted my head on one side. "Well, you only have the best to work with." I was rewarded with a smile back.

Once again, my blood went into the whizzy thing then she carefully prepared a fresh slide. I watched as she peered through the microscope again. "It's working. Look." She switched on the monitor for me. "Less diseased cells."

It looked like a mass of moving little blobs to me, so I didn't understand what I saw, but I did understand what she was saying.

"Thanks, Doc."

"We're not out of the woods yet. Can you draw blood?"

I nodded. "Sure."

"Good, you need to draw blood from me as it is easier if someone else does it." She quickly rolled up her sleeve.

Some time later, we were again anxiously looking at the monitor, me not knowing what to look for, just waiting for Doctor Fraiser's yay or nay.

"It's clear, no sign of infection. This is good." She turned to me and continued to explain. "We always thought at the beginning it was a contagion that you could catch off people, like the common cold, but I don't think it is and this proves it. I believe it is airborne and dissipates after a while, making it easy for Baal and his Jaffa to enter the world and take it over as theirs."

"That is good news for you." I smiled gently.

I saw pain show in her eyes before she looked down at another slide and placed it under the microscope.

"It's still working," she exclaimed. "Look."

I looked at the monitor and was none the wiser. "And?"

"The shot I gave you, it's killing the virus cells. Look." She touched the screen with her finger and pointed to a small blob. "It's dead."

Drawing more blood from the same arm, she went through the process again. By now we had been in the isolation room for five hours and I was hungry and very tired. It had been a very long day.

I started to walk around the room while she was working on my blood. I had tried repeatedly to find out what had happened, but each time, she had changed the subject and found things to stick in me - long sharp pointy needles - so I gave up after a while. I had searched all the cupboards for any kind of food; stupidly I had left my pack out in the corridor and until I was 'cured' I didn't want to venture out there again. I searched the cupboards again, for something to do more than anything.

I heard a gasp behind me; I turned only to see Doctor Fraiser crumple to the floor in tears. I crouched down beside her and held her as muffled words were uttered in her anguish at what she had found.

"He died to save me… telling me I was Earth's only chance… but it is too late."

I pushed her away from me, and looked at the top of her head. "Janet. What's wrong?"

Once again the sleeve was put to good use and she looked up at me through red-rimmed eyes. "Sorry, sir." She slowly stood up, reached for a tissue and blew her nose daintily. Then announced. "You're cured."

I ran both hands through my hair. "I know I can be… well you know, but I didn't think I was that bad." My voice sounded like a petulant child.

She smiled, "No, sorry, sir. I found the cure too late for everyone else."

I watched in admiration as she pulled strength from somewhere within. "We must see if anyone has survived, so I can help them."

I opened the sealed door and we went through the airlock. It took a short while for the air to change and I hoped that her cure still worked. I saw her eyes move to Daniel's body and pause before going straight to the telephone on the desk, quickly dialing her home phone number. She must have been listening to messages as her eyes filled with tears and she sat down on a chair.

Spotting another telephone, I moved away, giving her breathing space while she took control of her emotions. I dialed all the numbers that I knew, the automatic exchange was still working, but no one was answering. I then rang 911, surely that would get someone, but no answer interrupted the relentless ringing tone. Janet came and stood quite close to me.

"Cassie's dead. She left a message for me." Janet's eyes were red and puffy.

It was then the idea that had been rumbling around in my mind became a reality. "Janet, come back with me."

"Back where?"

"To my reality."

"What about entropic cascade failure?"

"Doctor Fraiser is dead in my reality, there is nothing here for you and you said the Alpha site was hit as well." She was indecisive for a moment. "Or I could take you to the Tok'ra? Whatever you decide, we have to destroy this base before Baal and his Jaffa come."

"No." The firmness came back into her voice. "Not the Tok'ra. But to go to another universe? I don't know." She was still hesitant at this idea.

"We need you; Cassie needs you and this serum/cure thingy could be the saving of us all."

She closed her eyes tight while she thought; I had never seen Janet so confused and vulnerable. The Janet I had known was always in control and usually sticking needles in me - maybe they weren't so different I realized, as I rubbed my aching arm.

"Okay, I will, sir."

"Sweet, but you can stop calling me sir, now! I'm retired and my name is Jack." I smiled to soften the gruffness of my tone. "Come, bring your stuff, we need to set the self-destruct."

It took quite a while, but we loaded another two packs with her findings and serum. Before setting the self-destruct timer, I steeled myself for the discomfort of going back into the General's office. I quickly lifted the receiver on the red telephone, but there was nothing. Silence. Not even a ring tone. Having crossed that off my list, I quickly took one last look at them. They looked as though they were sleeping; the lesions were not too pronounced on their faces. I was glad, because I knew that memory would never leave me however hard I would try to forget.

With the sound of the mechanical voice counting down to detonation of the bomb we had set, Janet and I stepped through the open wormhole onto the planet that I had only left twelve hours before.

_DISCLAIMER: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions and Gekko Productions. This story has been written for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations and story are the property of the authors._


	18. Chapter 18

**Memoirs of Brigadier General Jack O'Neill**

(Retired)

**Part V**

**Chapter Six**

2006

Once we arrived on the planet, I was pleased to see that the weather was behaving itself. It was quite a march to the cave, so I shouldered one of Janet's packs, while my own was on my back. Janet was carrying the other pack; she had decided not to bring anything personal with her as Janet's things in my universe would, hopefully, still be there.

As we walked, Janet started to ask me more about my experiences regarding the alternate realities I had come across. I found I left out quite a bit, as the memories were just too painful, but I did tell her about the mirror and finding the controlling device in my pack from the mud planet.

"Jack, which controlling device do you use now, the original one or the one off the mud pool planet?"

I stood dead still. "D'oh!" I brought my hand up and hit the heel of my palm against my forehead. _'How could I have been so dense?' _

"That must be it. Thank you, Janet." I grabbed her hand and pulled her along behind me.

"Jack, what are you doing?"

"Come on, I haven't got time to explain," I puffed. "I've got to see if this works."

Adrenalin was pumping through me as we arrived back at the cave; Janet started to drool over all the doohickeys. "Sam would love these; shall we take some back to her?"

"Not from here, Janet. This isn't my reality. Anyway there is too much, and we have enough to carry."

I pulled out the mud planet controlling device and started to rummage along the shelves looking for the similar device, one like I had touched so many months ago and had started this whole alternate reality fiasco.

"Got it!" I announced triumphantly and waved it under Janet's nose.

I compared the two devices, one was a slightly different colour and had a dial that you clicked around while the other was smoother and to change the settings you just touched it with your fingers and lights blinked on and off along the sides.

"Janet," I looked up at her distressed. "I don't know what to set this one to."

"How do you change it?" she questioned.

I handed it over to her, immediately the lights that were already blinking stopped as I let go of it. She prodded and poked at it, but it wouldn't work.

"It's not working." Concern was in her voice and face as she handed it back to me.

Immediately, it sprung into life as soon as I touched it. I looked up at her with a smirk on my face. "Looks like I have the magic touch." I waggled my eyebrows and looked at the device more closely. "I still don't know what setting to put it at."

"Why don't you set it the same as the other one for this reality? You said that it was very close to yours."

"I could try that, but I think I will try and remember first."

I placed the device onto the bench where I had first found one like it months ago, then thought back to when I first encountered this device. _'Three blue lights flickered down the right side, followed by four red on the left, and lastly one yellow one on the top. As I had withdrawn my hand, it had made a squealing sound, then I fell back and it went dark.'_

"Here, Janet, take my hand, I don't want us to get separated." _'Or leave you behind.' _I clasped her small hand in mine, feeling awkward with my pack on my back and one hooked over one shoulder, but I needed both hands free. I reached out with my other hand and touched the device, remembering the lights from before and it immediately sprung into life, and the lights reversed themselves automatically. Yellow at the top first, then four down the left and then three blue lights down the right side. Removing my hand, the squeal it caused was almost ear shattering. I pushed Janet against the pillar and with my free hand I touched the cool surface of the mirror. Lights danced around the cave, and then it began to spin around us interspersed with bright white and coloured flashes of light. Slowly the lights began to darken and I felt Janet's hand slowly slip from mine, just before I fell to the ground, unconscious.

"Jack, Jack!" I heard the distressed voice of Janet as I came to. "Where are we? It's so dark."

I opened my eyes at this, and tried to peer through the inky blackness, but I couldn't see anything. "Hopefully, my universe," I replied.

Pulling out my flashlight, I switched it on and swung it around the interior of the cave. Janet scrambled over towards me as I slowly stood up. I couldn't see any opening anywhere, though the shelves were stacked high with doohickeys, just like in the original cave and some of the caves in alternate realities I had visited. I checked my watch; it had only been a couple of minutes since I had touched the mirror.

"Come on." I gestured to Janet to keep close, and walked over to where the entrance of the cave should be. I remembered the original cave hadn't had an entrance until it had rudely woken me up. I shone the flashlight over the rock face, but everywhere I looked I could not see any fissure or door.

Janet started to push parts of the wall, to see if there were any hidden locks or openings. I hefted my second pack, which had slipped down, back up on my shoulder and reached out to do the same. Immediately, the rock face melted away at my touch and bright light assaulted our eyes as the midday sun streamed in through the cave opening. Once again something had only worked for me and not Janet; this brought me to the conclusion that these objects and the cave were put there by the Ancients. Why it was only on this reality I was not sure, but so far it was.

I stepped out of the cave into the sunlight and checked the surrounding countryside. It was identical to the first planet I had been on. The only difference was the dirt track that meandered its way through the hills in the direction of the Stargate. I cautiously looked at the darkening clouds in the east; it looked like a storm was brewing and I didn't want us to be caught in it.

"We had better hurry, Janet. I don't like the look of that storm."

"What storm?" Her head spun around on her shoulders as she looked right, left and then behind her.

"That one." I pointed east.

"Clear blue sky. I don't see any storm."

A tendril of hope began to travel through me, "Janet what do you see?"

"Forest." She pointed to the dark forest on our left. "Long waving grass," she said, pointing in front of her, "and hills in the distance." She then pointed to where I could see the hills and along the right of us where more hills were.

"Okay, first of all, there isn't any long grass here, short scrubby stuff over there, and a long dirt track all the way to the hills in the distance."

"I can't see it." She frowned, looking puzzled and, I have to admit, a little wary of me.

"Janet, do you trust me?" I asked.

"Yes, but not your eyes at the moment." I grinned at her reply.

"Watch this," I kicked the dry dirt road and a cloud of fine dust floated up around my boot before settling on the black leather surface.

"Wow! Where did that come from?" She crouched down and ran her finger through the dust on my boot, leaving a clean black line.

"Follow the yellow brick road." Humming the tune to that particular song, I started along the track walking fast. This was so my reality; weird road, weird cave and weird planet all added up to my universe.

"Why the hurry, Jack?" Janet puffed out as she tried to keep up with my long strides.

"This is my reality, Janet, I am home. I need to get off this world to find out for sure though, and the sooner we do that the better." I grinned down at her, and she smiled back.

It happened when we were nearly at the Stargate. We had passed the creepy forest, and even Janet had felt that. A loud screeching sound rose up from amidst the large group of trees behind us, the sun then began to sink fast down over the horizon and the track disappeared into long dry brittle grass. The clouds that I had seen earlier were building up fast, like you would see on science documentaries when they speed up the film. It was freaky. Janet was nervously looking around her and I was keeping an eye on that forest - whatever or whoever was making that sound was coming from there. I had the feeling that when we met 'it' we would not like it one little bit.

The hairs stood straight up on the back of my neck and a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach coiled itself up through my innards. Recognizing this as fear, I yelled, "Run!" The whole forest was moving towards us, the screeching sound increased with intensity as the trees loomed closer and closer. With one last look back, I ran towards the Stargate.

I wasn't fast enough, and the trees began to surround us. I couldn't see how they moved or that they were moving, but they were just closer to us.

"Janet, I'll hold them off; dial Kelowna."

"I don't know the address," she stated.

I handed her my precious sheet of paper. "Dial this one," I said, pointing to an address. She ran to the DHD as I fired my zat at the approaching trees that now seemed to be gliding along the ground. The zat only stopped them briefly before they continued towards me; the screeching sound seemed to come from behind them, driving them forwards. I heard the whoosh behind me then turned and ran for the Stargate, shoving Janet in front of me through the shimmering blue portal.

After we arrived on the other side, the Stargate shut down behind us. Without wasting time, I turned to Janet. "I'm sorry, Janet; there's no going back." She nodded. "We are both stuck in whatever alternate universe we are in."

_DISCLAIMER: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions and Gekko Productions. This story has been written for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations and story are the property of the authors._


	19. Chapter 19

**Memoirs of Brigadier General Jack O'Neill**

(Retired)

**Part IV**

**Chapter One**

2006

"Wow. What a lot of people, Jack. Where are we?" While Janet spoke, she turned around in a circle looking at all the buildings and people. This was something that we rarely ever came across in all those years of traveling through the Stargate; a civilization that had a community of planets all networked into the Stargate system. Ellatha was just one of the many planets. Eimon had given me the list of all the planets that were part of the universal group. So far, I had been unable to travel to many of these, but I knew it wouldn't be long before I would be able to do this.

"Ellatha," I informed her. Being none the wiser, she asked again.

"But where are we?"

"Ellatha," I repeated. "It is a nice friendly planet with kind and friendly people, with no slimy Goa'ulds or nasty viruses."

I quickly looked around the square. Most of the people ignored us, but some glanced our way.

"Jack! Jack O'Neill, you return to us." I turned to see Eimon running towards me. He looked pleased to see me.

"Eimon," I said as I hugged him back, while he squeezed me and my two packs in a large bear hug.

"You missed Mama's wedding," he admonished.

"I know, I'm sorry, Eimon."

He turned and smiled broadly at Janet. "Eimon, meet Janet, Janet, Eimon. Without his help I would have died long ago." Janet looked at me sharply. Ooops, I had let just a little too much slip there.

He offered to carry my extra pack, so I gratefully handed it over as it was very heavy. While we walked along towards his home, he filled me in the gossip of the town. He left the best news until last.

"Lisle is with child," he whispered in my ear and then grinned all over his face. Respecting his customs, I saved that piece of news for Janet until later. However, it didn't stop me congratulating him, though I slipped into Greek to do that so as to not embarrass him.

I could see that Janet was tired; she began to lag behind us while we walked along the large cobble-stoned road. I turned and walked back towards her and relieved her of her pack. She gave me a tired smile and didn't protest.

As we neared their home, Eimon ran on ahead, shouting at the top of his voice so that all the neighbors could hear and come out to see what all the commotion was about.

Dashing through the large wooden front door of his home, Eimon yelled, "Mama! Lisle! Jack is home."

I smiled reassuringly at Janet before we entered through the doorway. "They are nice people." Just as I finished speaking the front hallway filled with people, with Mariam in the lead. The noise was almost overwhelming with the excitement of the women as they hugged me and the servants of the house welcomed me. I needn't have worried about informing Janet of Lisle and Eimon's news as it was obvious that Lisle had a baby on the way.

Janet seemed to have been forgotten, until Lisle turned to her and said. "Are you Samantha?" The room went dead quiet and Janet smiled, shaking her head.

Mariam started to speak to Lisle. I tried to stop her, but I wasn't quick enough. "No, Lisle, you forget that Samantha lives no longer."

I heard a gasp beside me and then sad eyes turned angry as she looked accusingly at me. "You didn't tell me," she hissed. I didn't know what to say and now was not the time to discuss this.

"Jack!" I looked up at the sound of my name. Pushing the recent incident to the back of my mind for later, I moved forward to greet a great friend of mine.

"Alexander." I clasped his arm in the way of these people before pulling him into a hug. He looked no different to when I last saw him.

Mariam interrupted what she knew would soon become a long conversation as Alexander and I could talk for hours on any subject. "Come, you must be hungry and tired." She took Janet by her arm and led her away to one of the many rooms. I nodded reassuringly to her that she would be okay. Janet seemed to have forgiven me, but I was pretty sure that we would still be having 'that conversation' fairly soon.

I walked along with Alexander to one of the many bathrooms. He was quiet not as talkative as he was last time I was here.

"I'm sorry I didn't get back for your wedding."

"That's all right, you said you might not make it in time."

I had relieved Eimon of my extra pack and I was lugging both of them along beside me. "Would you like me to take those to your room?" he asked, indicating the packs.

"Thanks, but I need some of the stuff in them." He nodded.

Just as he left me by the bathroom door, he said something unusual, something that puzzled me at the time, but I didn't pursue it and I wish I had. "I'm looking forward to discussing medical matters with Janet Fraiser." Before waving his hand and walking off down the hallway.

I loved the bathrooms in this house; they each had two large marble sinks with a drain, but no taps. Beside one of the sinks were two large flagons of water, one was steaming hot, while the other cold. I heard the whoosh then the gushing of water as the large tub or swimming pool as I liked to refer to it as, fill up with piping hot water. This was just what I needed; my body, head and even my teeth ached. It was so good to be home.

An hour later, relaxed, tired and feeling like a wrinkled prune I dumped my packs down on my old bed. Earlier, one of the servants had come in with some towels while I was half asleep in the tub, informing me that my old room was ready for me and that dinner would soon be ready. In other words, get your lazy butt out of there and get ready for dinner or you will be late. These guys are so polite, but you still got the message.

The meal went by without a hitch. Alexander and Janet talked non-stop about medical things, only stopping when Mariam had reminded him this particular subject (usually discussing an inner organ in minute detail) was not something we discussed at the meal table. The first time, it happened, Janet went bright red with embarrassment. I leaned over to her and quietly informed her not to worry. "He does this all the time, don't worry about it. You just go ahead and talk to him." I smiled at her, she smiled back. _'Maybe she had forgiven me after all.' _

"I still need to talk to you later, Jack," she whispered back.

'_Uh oh - maybe not.' _Sometimes my life is very complicated.

Eimon talked about the shipping business and that now he and Lisle's father were working together, it had flourished and the trading business was going better than ever. Apart from Mariam stopping Alexander's subject from getting too gruesome, she was uncharacteristically quiet.

Finally, everyone had gone. Janet had nearly fallen asleep at the table and had gone to her room, Eimon and Lisle had retired early, and Alexander was called out on an emergency. So it was just Mariam and myself left.

We moved through into a small parlor and sipped wine from fine pewter goblets while I filled her in on what had happened to me and Janet. It took quite a bit of explaining about alternate realities and all the different scenarios that I came across, but she finally understood, I think. Mariam is an extremely intelligent woman and, until recently, she had been running the shipping company all by herself, only just relinquishing control on Eimon's marriage. Maybe that was what was wrong, so I asked her.

"What is wrong Mariam?" She smiled and shook her head.

"I'm sorry about Lisle; I thought she knew, and I didn't mean to cause a problem with my comment," she said concerned.

"No, no." I shook my head and smiled. "No, there is nothing between Janet and myself. She didn't know that Sam was dead in this reality and they were best friends. I'm afraid Janet will find it hard when she gets back home." We sat in silence for a while, as I remembered back to our earlier conversation.

_She had waylaid me on my way to dinner. "So when were you going to tell me that my best friend was dead, Jack?" Her eyes had filled with tears, "The one person that would have understood the alternate universe better than anyone."_

_I quickly pulled her into a small room out of everyone's way and earshot. "It's not something I talk about, and it didn't come up," was my excuse._

_She threw her hands up in the air and walked around in a circle. "So who else is dead that I don't know about?"_

_I picked up a small clay pot from a low table and turned it around in my hands, "No one that I know, but who knows what may have happened while I've been gone." Then the dinner gong had sounded_.

_We had moved quickly to the dining room. Even though we had stopped talking now, I knew it wasn't over yet._

"Jack?" The sound of my name brought me back to the present.

I looked up into the enquiring eyes of Mariam as she leaned forward and poked my knee with her finger to get my attention. "Sorry, Mariam."

"Is everything all right?"

"Yes, everything is fine," I lied.

"Good," she said, sitting back with a frown on her face.

"Mariam, what is wrong?"

"I'm glad you are here as I am worried about Alexander."

"How so?"

She shifted in her seat, crossing her legs and leaning back against the back of the low chair. "He has changed; he is more distant since we married. It started about three months ago, and he isn't as talkative or as gregarious as he used to be." The concern was strong in her voice as she related a few instances of uncharacteristic behavior.

"I will see what I can do, Mariam. You know me and Alexander, we talk about anything and everything. I am sure if something is bothering him, he will tell me eventually. Try not to worry."

Mariam slowly rose from her seat and I followed suit. She squeezed my arm in gratitude and smiled calmly. "I know you will help." She turned and glided from the room in her usual graceful manner.

I could barely keep my eyes open as I stumbled to my room; it had been one very long day. The bed had been made up for me and my two packs were still on the low table where I had left them before dinner. I sat down on the side of the bed and yanked off my boots before falling sideways onto the pillow and promptly went to asleep.

_"Sir! Help me; please don't leave me to die." _

_I watched in horror as Sam slowly slid away from me, her face a beacon in the dark gloom. I couldn't see anything but Sam as tears ran down her face full of disbelief at what I had done. An immense overpowering feeling of guilt was filling me as I watched Sam die before my eyes and I did nothing to help her._

_Suddenly, the vision spun away from me as I fell backwards down into a dark hole. Sam's face, accusing me of her death, swung past me - one minute crying and the next full of anger. I started to fight my way up out of the hole, but long strings tangled up in my arms and legs so I couldn't move and voices taunted me from the darkness. "Jaaaaaaaaaack. You killed Sam." I tried to see who was taunting me, but was unsuccessful. More faces began to claw at me as they swirled past me, large big boned aliens with strange pointed chins; they hissed my name trying to touch me with their elongated talons. I stopped falling as though a parachute had just opened above me, slowing my previously too fast descent._

I sat bolt upright, gasping in great gulps of air. Sweat had soaked my clothing, making my skin feel clammy as it began to cool on my body. The dream had been so real that I found it hard to shake off. Doubts began to assail me as I wondered if maybe I was not back in my own universe, but by some twist of fate I was still jumping from one parallel universe to another.

I looked out the window, dawn had just broken and the birds were in full song. I could hear rumblings of the house awakening as the servants went about their duties. I still had doubts about this world, and then I remembered something from when I was here last time. I pulled out my flashlight from one of the packs and crouched down in front of the air vent. The house was heated by a large ventilation system, something I knew both Daniel and Sam would have been interested in. I seem to remember Daniel prattling on about the ancient Romans having heating systems like this.

I found I couldn't see anything, so I lay down flat on my front and peered down through the rectangular shaped hole. Even with the flashlight, I couldn't see anything. I nearly gave up at that point. I really didn't want to do what I knew I had to do next, as you never know what you might find in holes. I reached in with my bare hand into the small vent and groped around for it. I found something dry which crackled when I picked it up, but I knew it wasn't what I was looking for. When I withdrew my hand I could see I was correct as I held in my hand a dried up autumn leaf.

I felt numb as I sat on the cold stone floor. Leaning the back of my head against the wall I was sitting against, my mind darted all over the place, only to finally rest on the memory of seeing Sam dead on the battle field. However hard I tried, I couldn't move away from that scene. Startled, I opened my eyes as someone knocked on the door and walked in. It was Beatrice with breakfast on a tray.

"Good morning, Jack." She paused in her tracks for a moment, and then continued to place the tray on the small table in the room. "You'll get cold down there," she stated in matter of fact manner, as if she had seen lots of grown men sitting on cold stone floors when a perfectly good chair was right beside them.

My eyes traveled to the tray which contained fresh home-made bread, a goblet of wine and, sitting right beside the goblet, my yoyo. A bright red one, Daniel had given it to me just before I had left Earth. He had muttered something about me not getting bored while traveling and after I had tangled up my blue one I would need a new one anyway.

"I believe this is yours," Beatrice said as she held up my yoyo. "Gamol found it in the vents when he was cleaning them ready for winter this year." She paused and took a step forward. "Jack, are you all right?"

I shut my mouth with a snap, then stood up quickly, grabbing her around the waist and swinging her around once before placing her carefully back on the ground. "Thank you, Beatrice, thank you Gamol," I shouted to the absent man. I snatched up the bread and some clean clothes and darted out the door. Suddenly, life seemed a whole lot brighter. My unfounded fears had disappeared with the arrival of Beatrice and my yoyo.

I walked into the kitchen humming under my breath, even though my clothes were still slightly damp, extremely uncomfortable and I desperately needed a shower.

"Good morning, Jack." Naleena was busy preparing something on the stove. A plump jovial lady in her mid forties, Naleena had been with Mariam and her first husband since she was a young scullery maid. As always in this household, the servants were part of the family.

"Good morning, Naleena, what are you making there?" I asked and stuck my finger in the cake mixture. I knew full well what this was.

"Something to feed the dogs as they are sick," she answered, then laughed good-naturedly as I snatched my finger back. "Not really. A cake for you, Jack. I know you like them so much."

I reached across and pecked her on the cheek, and took a swipe at the mixture hoping she wouldn't notice. But she did and I felt the sting of a wooden spoon rapped across my knuckles. "Ow!" She laughed again.

Just then, Gamol lumbered into the kitchen and sat down at the table. He was covered from head to toe in coal dust. He pulled off his hat and slapped it down on the table in front of him. Grinning, I waited for the haranguing this great man would get from Naleena's tongue, but nothing was forthcoming. Surprised, I joined him at the table and sat down opposite him.

"Thank you Gamol, for finding my yoyo."

"Ya wot?" he asked gruffly.

"My yoyo," I repeated and then held it out to show him, demonstrating its use in the process.

Naleena started muttering about kids and toys and how grown men should know better, but I ignored her. Gamol grinned at me and slid his dusty hat to the side and Naleena plonked a large plate of scrambled eggs and some fresh bread down in front of him, followed a few seconds later with two steaming cups of coffee for both him and myself.

"Thank you." We spoke in unison.

While Gamol tucked into his breakfast, I then asked my question. "Do we have any hot water as I would like a shower?"

"Humph!" came from the stove area as Naleena spooned the cake mixture into a large round baking tin.

Gamol grinned around a mouthful of bread and nodded. "Yers. Don't mind 'er, she's just got the wedding jitters."

"Huh?" I leaned forward, "Who."

"Who do ya think?" He grinned smugly back at me.

"Congratulations." I thumped him on the shoulder and watched a cloud of coal dust float up into the air. "When's the big day?"

"Fthi**no**poron." Naleena chipped in.

My smile faded, I wouldn't be here then, "I will not still be here in autumn," I replied.

"Ortumm?" Gamol queried.

"Sorry, that is what we call fthi**no**poron where I come from. Actually we call it fall, but that would be even more confusing." I rambled on a bit at the end, but they didn't seem to mind.

"The water is hot. Why don't you go and have yer shower, you look like you need it," Gamol stated. I refrained from pointing out that I wasn't the one covered from head to foot in coal dust. As Gamol's job was to keep the furnace burning, and I had only ever seen him devoid of coal dust once in his life which was at Eimon's wedding, I thought it prudent to keep my mouth shut. Of course the fact he would dwarf Teal'c in size had nothing to do with it.

I picked up my clothes and made my way to the bathroom. If Gamol said that the showers would be hot, then they would be hot. It was amazing how they worked; they had no pumping system, it was all done via gravity feed. No one but me ever had showers or baths in the morning, so the fact that Gamol had made sure that the water would be hot for me gave me great pleasure.

Later that day I discussed with Janet about her going back to the SGC. They would need her expertise and her new formula against this terrible virus that Baal was using against his enemies. I suggested that we go via Kelowna and that Jonas took her back to the SGC.

"Can't you take me?" Janet asked.

"No," I blurted out, before continuing, "Didn't you ever meet Jonas in your universe?

"Yes," she replied, "but I was hoping you would take me back so you could vouch for me."

"Sorry, Janet, I'm not ready to go back to the SGC yet. They will keep me there too long, for debriefing… and I just not ready," I repeated.

I stood up and started to pace around the small room that we were in. I was trapped. I needed to get away. This was what I had left the SGC for, so that I didn't feel I had to explain myself to anyone if I didn't want to.

"I understand, Jack." I stopped pacing and faced her. She was smiling kindly at me with her 'I am your doctor, I know you inside and out' look. I shrugged and then sat down on one of the chairs.

The following day, we left early. Alexander was angry with me as I wouldn't take him with me. The last thing Janet needed was another alien tagging along; she would have enough trouble on her own.

I quickly dialed through to Kelowna and was pleased to see that one of the guards recognized me. We were served refreshments while we waited for Jonas to arrive.

"Jack. Where have you been?" he asked as soon as he strode into the small office we were sitting in. He paused and stared at Janet. "Doctor Frasier, but I... I…" He faltered before stopping altogether.

"Alternate universe, Jonas," I explained as briefly as possible. With his brain he should be able to work it out for himself.

"Cool," he exclaimed and sat down on one of the chairs. "What ha-"

"You will have plenty of time to ask her later, but I need you to do something for me," I interrupted him in mid question.

He stopped staring at Janet and swiveled around to face me. "What would you like me to do, Jack?"

"Take Janet back to the SGC and make sure she is settled in okay. If there are any problems, I will be at this address for the next few days. After that, who knows," I shrugged as I handed him a piece of paper.

"That won't work, Jack, and you know it," he said firmly.

"Don't worry, I'll talk to Hammond, but I'm not going back. Not yet," I replied just as firmly.

He nodded. "I just need to sort a few things out, and then I will be back."

"Fine, we'll just wait here, we're not going anywhere," I stated. I watched him stand and then start to walk out the room. "Jonas," he paused and turned back towards me, "How's Malia?"

"Malia's fine, she's living with us now." I nodded with understanding. That meant Malia's mother must have died from her illness.

"Say hi to her for me."

"Yup sureyoubetcha." He grinned then left very quickly.

I won't bore you with the argument that ensued between Hammond and myself, but it was long and tedious. One hour and lots of shouting on Hammond's part later, I watched Jonas and Janet walk through the event horizon to Earth.

Just before they had left, I assured Janet that I would be along to visit her soon.

"Define, soon," she asked.

"When I'm ready," was the only answer I could give her.

She gave a nod of acceptance and whispered, "Thank you," in my ear as she hugged me tight.

It was strange that all the time I was in the alternate reality I wanted to get back to my universe and my SGC, but now I was here, I didn't. The place had too many ghosts, from my universe and alternate ones. This wasn't the only reason why I didn't want to go. I had promised Mariam I would help and I owed them more than I could ever repay.

As soon as the Stargate shut down, I dialed up Ellatha.

_DISCLAIMER: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions and Gekko Productions. This story has been written for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations and story are the property of the authors._


	20. Chapter 20

**Memoirs of Brigadier General Jack O'Neill**

(Retired)

**Part IV**

**Chapter Two**

2006

It was the following morning after I returned to Ellatha that I received a visitor. The cobbler Maroc brought me a new pair of shoes. "Jack, I made them for you."

"Thank you, but I really don't need them-"

He interrupted me, "I have my own business now, and people are buying shoes like this so that they can exercise like you do." He held out the shoes for me to take, looking so proud of himself.

"Thank you," I smiled and accepted the gift. This man had a business because of me; I didn't want to hurt his feelings. "Do you make other shoes as well?" I asked, hoping he wasn't totally reliant on what could just be a fad.

"Yes, I now make sandals and boots for walking and riding. Please, you must visit my shop while you are here. It is next to Amos' fine silk cloth."

I knew Amos' store. "I will, Maroc." I assured him.

"I must return to my store and serve my customers," he proudly said.

One of the servants showed him out of the house as I examined my new running shoes; these were an improvement on my first pair. The padding was thicker on the sole and the stitching was minute and perfect. He had obviously worked on improving the shoe and he seemed to know what he was doing.

The next two days were uneventful. In fact, I couldn't see anything out of the ordinary, except that Alexander continued to ask when I would be returning to my home planet and could he accompany me. He had wanted to return with Janet, but I had said no. The last thing she needed was an alien tagging along, but Alexander had not understood. A shiver of guilt traveled through me, I knew I should have accompanied Janet, but I was not ready to return to the SGC yet.

The tension in the household became almost palpable as Mariam and Alexander either bickered or didn't speak to each other. When I found Mariam in tears after hearing the front door slam one morning, I decided it was time to intervene. I walked through the crowded streets and onto the main street which crossed through the middle of the town. This street always amazed me; it was very wide, covered with large cobblestones. There were footpaths for the pedestrians along the side so that horses and carts could rumble along the center taking produce to the market square and small shops along the way.

A small bell tinkled at the top of the door as I pushed it open to enter the premises of Alexander's new clinic. He had sold his house and bought this small building where he could see his patients away from home.

"Greetings, Jack."

"Hi, Alex, are you busy?"

"Not at the moment, I have fifteen minutes until my next patient. Would you like a drink?" He opened a small cabinet and pulled out a flagon of wine and two goblets. I watched the rich red liquid gurgle into each goblet, before he handed one to me.

"Thank you," I said as I took the goblet in one hand and pulled out a chair with the other. I glanced into his eyes. He had been intently watching me, the naked look in his eyes shocked me - it was as though he could see right into my soul - and then it was gone.

"To friendship," he toasted before taking a sip.

I stared into his eyes, but I could see nothing untoward there now. I must have imagined it. I put it down to paranoia after my experiences in the last few months.

"So, Alexander, what's going on?"

He looked startled for a second before relaxing and, with a resigned sigh he sat down. "I wondered how long it would take for you to interfere."

"Fifteen minutes are nearly up, Alex, so time's a-wasting," I stared at him hard. "And you haven't answered my question."

"It's private, Jack, nothing to do with you." Before I had a chance to reply, he stood up and snatched the goblets up and placed them back in the cupboard, "Sorry, Jack, I have things to prepare." He stood still waiting for me to leave.

Refraining from rolling my eyes, I slowly stood up and placed my hat back on my head and adjusted the brim. "You know, Alex, you're gonna have to talk to me sometime, because I'm not leaving until things are sorted out between you two. Mariam is hurting and I don-," Just then a young woman, with a small boy in tow, walked into the clinic. There was barely a pause in the two rings of the bell between her arrival and my departure. The difference was the door slamming shut behind me. I was angry and feeling slightly hurt. '_Oh yes, big bad Brigadier General Jack O'Neill's feelings do get hurt.' _Alexander would've known that I was concerned as a friend, so why hadn't he been honest with me? I was puzzled by his reaction and his behavior. It did not add up.

Four days later, we were no closer to discussing the situation. Alexander was now avoiding me, Mariam wasn't talking to Alex and Lisle would burst into tears as soon as anyone looked at her. Eimon was working long hours at the shipping company and I was stuck in the middle of a 'domestic' dispute. I was leaving as soon as possible. At least no one was shooting at me or trying to turn me into a snakehead.

I had just finished packing the last item into my bag, when the dinner gong resounded throughout the house. Oh, this was going to be fun – not. For once, everyone was already there as I rushed in a little late. Even so, they had waited for me before starting. I sat, we started and no one talked, so I decided they needed something or someone to focus on.

"I'm leaving tomorrow morning at first light," I announced.

A clatter of eating implements fell to the table, and Alexander actually spoke to me. "I want to come with you." Mariam jumped up and ran sobbing from the table, stopping as she reached the doorway. Turning, she spoke to Alexander, "If you go, don't bother coming back," and then stepped out into the hallway.

Before anyone had a chance to react to her ultimatum, a large explosion somewhere in the town shook the ground. This was followed by more explosions, making the glassware rattle against each other. Screams from people outside in the street penetrated the house walls, and then the unmistakable sound of staff weapon fire. "Everyone," I yelled, the chair clattering to the floor as I stood up, "To the kitchen now." I dashed from the dining room to where I had my pack. I pulled out my P-90, zat and my hand gun. Slinging my combat vest over one shoulder, I raced back out into the corridor. Alexander was waiting for me.

"Give me the zat'n'ktel, I can help."

I skidded to a halt, "The what?" I stared in surprise at my friend. I could hear my drill sergeant from many years ago yelling in my head, _'O'Neill, it's a war, not a kid's birthday party. Get your butt out there.' _

"The zat, give it to me." Not waiting for an answer, he snatched it out of my hand and then stared straight into my eyes.

My friend was no longer there; horror filled me as I recognized who it really was. How, I don't know, I just did. "Kanan!" I exclaimed, and then it was confirmed as his eyes glowed. "You slimy snake, get out of my friend." My whole body was shaking with barely controlled rage. No wonder he had been behaving strangely.

"Sorry, Jack, no time to explain, but it's the Kull warriors and they are after me."

Bottling my anger, I asked, "Kull?"

"Baal's latest warriors, he stole them from Anubis. They are covered in black amour."

"Super soldiers?"

"Yes. You must keep Mariam and the others safe. I will lead them away."

"No!" I stared at him hard, "I know of a way out, you must take them. Follow me."

Without waiting for an answer, I pushed past him and led him into the kitchen where the others were waiting. I took hold of the large jars and started to roll them aside, all the time fighting the urge to turn around and beat the pulp out of this snake that had caused my friends and myself so much anguish.

"Kanan, help me," I ordered.

The stone was heavy and I could do with the extra strength that the symbiote had. He took one end of the stone and I the other and we pushed. Stone against stone grated as it slowly disappeared into the gloom.

Turning to Mariam, "Go, for Lisle's sake," I nodded towards the frightened young woman heavy with child. I handed my flashlight to Kanan, "Stay in there until I come for you. Walk right to the end, there is another trap door that comes out into the hills; use it if I have not come for you within eight hours. There is another tunnel that goes straight to the Stargate, we can escape that way when I return."

The explosions were coming closer to the building and it wouldn't be long before they found us. I turned to two of the menservants. "Once everyone has gone down, close the trap door and put all the urns back how they were, then go next door. They aren't looking for you, so you will be safe. If anything happens to me, wait until the black warriors have gone and then release them." They nodded.

I waited a second to see that Lisle and Mariam had carefully climbed down the steps to safety below and nodded to Kanan. I then slipped quietly out the kitchen door and, crouching down low, I worked my way around through the garden to a side alleyway. I could hear the crash of falling masonry as the super soldiers' weapons made havoc with the surrounding homes. Working along the stone wall, I made my way out to the main road. Two super soldiers were firing at anything that moved; already many fine brave warriors from this town lay dead on the street. With only swords, bows and arrows to defend themselves, they hadn't stood a chance. Amongst them were some good friends of mine. The anger that had coursed through my inner being earlier flourished and blossomed at this pointless waste of lives. Kanan had a lot to answer for. Choosing to channel my anger towards these two relentless soldiers instead of Kanan who dwelt within one of my closest friends, I moved out to a more strategic position.

While their backs were turned, I sprinted across the wide road and ducked down behind a low wall. They were now standing right in front of Alexander's house; they had known where to come. With one shot, they blasted the front door down and started to enter the house. Immediately, I started to fire at them, hoping to draw them off and give Kanan a chance to get the family hidden safely away.

A courageous young man dived down beside me, "Jack, who are these?"

"You mean, what," I hissed at Maroc. "See those buildings just behind those soldiers."

"Yes," the young cobbler answered.

"Clear everyone out of them." He nodded, "And keep your head down or it will get blown off." He nodded again. I was relieved to see him crouching over double as he made his way towards the buildings.

The warriors had started to walk towards where I was hiding, following the source of the rifle-fire. So far my plan had worked. I quickly followed Maroc, keeping out of sight of the super soldiers. I waited until all the residents of the buildings had evacuated before setting charges at strategic places at the base of the stones walls, making sure that they were placed on the cornerstones and any supporting walls. Instead of setting a timer, I used a remote detonating device.

Moving away from the wall, I stood up and started firing indiscriminately at the Kull warriors. They turned and started to walk towards me, firing as they went. The bullets pinged off the surface of their amour, sparking in their wake. I ducked back through the doorway and waited until the enemy were standing in front of the building and then ran out the back, pressing the remote detonating device as I went. Diving down below a low ornamental wall, I covered my head with my arms as the building exploded into a shower of rock and dust. When all had settled I peered over the edge and seeing it was clear I slowly stood up.

Bits of black amour lay strewn over the ground amidst stone and rubble from the ruined house. The hairs on the back of my neck slowly rose as a black clad hand appeared from the centre of the rubble, moving the rocks to the side; the surviving super soldier slowly emerged. I slowly began to walk backwards as he raised his arm and pointed it at me. I quickly reloaded my P-90 from my now exhausted supplies and emptied the magazine at him, once again not making any difference to his advancement. I stumbled as I stepped back, tripping and falling to the ground. Fire shot out of his arm, straight towards me, as I lay on the ground totally helpless against this relentless creature.

_DISCLAIMER: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions and Gekko Productions. This story has been written for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations and story are the property of the authors._


	21. Chapter 21

**Memoirs of Brigadier General Jack O'Neill**

(Retired)

**Part IV**

**Chapter Three**

2006

"No!" I heard the scream of defiance then glimpsed a flash of white as a form darted in front of me, right into the line of fire. I watched in horror as Alexander's body was blasted backwards from the force of the shot fired by the super soldier.

I scrambled to my knees; the only weapon left was my hand gun, useless against the hardened amour of this beast. Looking around desperately to find anything to defend myself with, my eyes fell upon a severed black clad arm, with a similar weapon that was so bent on destroying me still attached. I quickly detached the weapon from the gruesome find and held it out in front of me, hoping that it still worked; I pressed the button and hot fire shot out of it the same instance as he fired at me. I rolled out of the way and fired again. This time he faltered in his step, so I fired again, and again. He sank to his knees, wavered for a second before falling flat on his face. A small cloud of dust rose up around him before settling down onto his dull amour.

Ignoring my minor injuries, I ran to Alexander who lay in a crumpled heap between us. He was alive; a rasping sound came from his lungs as he struggled to breathe. I pulled out a med bandage from my combat vest and pressed it to his stomach to stop the blood flow at the same time yelling for help. I looked up at his face; he had been watching me the whole time. Eyes glowed yellow, then Kanan spoke; "I'm sorry, Jack. I know I put you in an impossible situation." _'Ya think!' _The eyes faded back to normal, and my terrified friend looked out at me.

"It's going to be all right, Alex." I looked up and watched people scrambling over the fallen rubble to get to us. Looking down at my friend, I saw tears in his eyes. "No, Alex, you've got to hang on." I pleaded.

"He's gone, Jack, he's gone," he whispered and then closed his eyes.

That night was filled with trauma; my emotions ran a roller coaster, from sheer happiness to despair. Lisle gave birth the night we defeated the Kull warriors. Mariam was torn between being there for her daughter-in-law and her husband who was fighting for his life. I was at the point of leaving to get Janet, when a doctor of medicine arrived from a nearby town. Within a few hours he had the bleeding under control and assured us that Alexander would survive.

The neighbors were extremely angry that their houses had been destroyed by me and I found myself being shouted at in Ellinika so fast, I couldn't follow. My head, my body and my heart ached. I had come face to face with my nemesis and the last thing I needed was the haranguing I was receiving. Fortunately, Eimon arrived and rescued me. He offered to pay for all the damages that had occurred.

I slipped into Alexander's room. Mariam was sitting quietly beside his bed, watching him as he slept.

"Mariam," I whispered. She looked up at me, her eyes haunted by what I had told her the previous day. She already knew of Kanan as I had told her about some of my experiences, but she still couldn't digest it all this quickly. So much had happened.

"Jack, he woke up briefly a few moments ago. He seems really sad. I don't know what to do."

I knew exactly what was wrong with Alexander; I had seen the same thing happen to Sam when Jolinar had died to save her. "It's going to be all right, Mariam, I know what has happened. He will be okay," I assured her.

She smiled tearfully at me, and then rose quietly from her seat. "I need to see how Lisle is," her voice was filled with exhaustion, "Will you watch him for me?"

"Yes, and get some rest while you're gone. I will not leave him alone." I reached out my hand and lightly touched her arm; she paused for a moment before silently leaving the room.

_Sam stood before me, anger in her face as she shouted her demands, her eyes flaring with gold light. I lunged towards her, but she held me at bay with the hand device that bore into my head. _

"_You will not escape this time," the cruel double inhuman voice echoed out of her beautiful mouth._

_The bright light intensified as it flowed from her hand and I fell to my knees, the pain increasing through my head. "Sam, no, it's me. Don't… don't," I sobbed with emotional pain._

"Sam, no…"

"Jack – Jack!" A man's voice penetrated my dream, and I slowly opened my eyes. I was lying flat on my back, with the chair broken beneath my body. My head was pounding; I must have bashed it against the floor as I fell. Stiffly I stood up and looked at Alexander on his bed, his face was ashen in colour and he was leaning towards me.

"Are you all right, Jack?" he enquired, concern evident on his face.

"Yeah," I rubbed the back of my head, relieved to feel no telltale wetness there, although I found it was tender to my touch. Seeing no other chair in the room, I kicked the broken one aside and gently sat on the edge of Alexander's bed.

"So…" I said, "How long have you been awake?"

"Not long, someone made a lot of noise and woke me." I glimpsed a humorous spark in his eyes as he spoke.

I smiled ruefully, "Yeah well, you've been getting far too much attention; I thought it was about time I got some."

"What happened, Jack?" His voice was serious as he spoke.

"You tell me, Alex. All I know is that since I got here, someone has been taking up residence in your head." I shot of pain spasmed across his face at my words

"No… not that, Jack. What happened just now?"

"I was asleep and fell off my chair." I stared back, "What about you?"

I could see a great wave of sadness flow over him and he closed his eyes. "I need to sleep now, Jack."

I kicked myself for reminding him of his inner pain and sorrow. A vision of Sam, curled up within herself, not acknowledging anyone or anything after Jolinar died came into my thoughts. Remembering Cassie, I quickly stood up. The pounding increased in my head, but I ignored it and left the room.

Five minutes later, I returned to Alexander's room with a worried Mariam in tow. His eyes were firmly shut and he didn't acknowledge us as we entered. Mariam looked questionably at me when she saw the broken chair. "I fell asleep and then woke up abruptly," I whispered to her.

A small gurgle came from the bundle in my arms and I pulled back the blanket to see the screwed up face of a newborn baby just as she started to cry. I reluctantly handed her over to Mariam, wondering to myself at my hesitancy. For those few moments that I had carried this precious bundle to Alexander's room, I had felt happy and content. Now I felt like I had before – empty - as I watched Mariam walk over to Alexander's bedside. She had realized as soon as we entered his room what I had in mind. I made my way out of the room, pausing by the door, I glanced back and waited for a few moments.

"Alexander," Mariam whispered by his head, "meet our new granddaughter." His eyes flew open at her words. Mariam held the baby close to him so he could see her face. She had stopped crying and all I could hear was a gurgle and newborn baby noises as she yawned. "Her name is Mariam," Mariam spoke with pride. I quickly slipped out the door and closed it gently behind me and went to my room to sleep.

2007

Two weeks later, I said my farewells to my friends. Alexander was still not quite up to walking around, but he was able to sit in a chair for a few hours a day. I was amazed at his quick healing, making me wonder if Kanan had done some healing before he relinquished his life for Alexander's. Yes, I had been right; Kanan had done exactly the same thing as Jolinar had done for Sam, and given his life so that Alexander could live. There was a lot that Alexander had not revealed to me, but he seemed to understand me a lot more since his experience with Kanan. I suspect that Kanan had shared a lot of what went on in my head when he had resided there, even though I don't remember much of my experience – thank goodness.

When Alexander had revealed to me that Kanan had thrown them in front of the blast that was meant for me, it shocked me to the core. Alexander did tell me that Kanan felt true remorse about what had happened to me and what he had done to Alexander. I had wanted to know how he had escaped Baal's planet and why he hadn't he got me out of there. Alexander couldn't explain any of that. I wasn't sure if he was telling the truth or not, but I decided not to press the matter any further – for now.

Eimon and I walked in companionable silence towards the Stargate. My numerous small injuries and my bump on the head had healed leaving me fighting fit. I had been concerned that more Kull warriors would come when these two didn't return to their master, but Alexander had reassured me that these two warriors had been following him for months and never seemed to report back to anyone. I found this information reassuring and disturbing, as previously the super soldiers had only lived for a short while, before collapsing and dying. But at least I knew that my friends would be safe for a while.

When we arrived at the Stargate, I pulled out the piece of parchment that Eimon had given me so many months ago, this time I was going to go to one of the addresses. Apparently they were all relatively safe planets that mainly spoke Ellinika, which would be good. I needed something peaceful this time, no more snakeheads and no more black warriors coming out of nowhere.

"Jack, go to this one, it is a good planet. They are friendly and they have some machines there, similar to the ones you have described."

I grinned at my friend. "Thank you, Eimon; once again you have been good to me."

He returned my grin with one of his own. He leaned over and snatched the paper out of my hand, and wrote something down on it, "If you need somewhere to be by yourself, this is a good planet too," and handed the paper back to me. Written on the bottom of the list was another set of co-ordinates.

I gave him a quick hug and punched in the co-ordinates near the top of the list. After waiting for the wormhole to settle, I waved a quick goodbye and stepped through the window to another adventure.

_2026_

_"O'Neill."_

_"Teal'c. Come in… How are you? Take a load off."_

_"I am well, O'Neill. And you are well?"_

"_Yes, fine thanks. When did you get in?"_

_"I came directly here."_

_"Your family, are they with you?"_

"_No, they remained at home. I came to see you as something has been troubling me and I wish to ask you a question about it."_

"_Shoot! Fire away, I'm all ears."_

"_A long time ago, when you were traveling, you came to see me at my home. What…"_

"_Hold on, Teal'c, I just need to switch this off."_

_DISCLAIMER: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions and Gekko Productions. This story has been written for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations and story are the property of the authors._


	22. Chapter 22

**Memoirs of Brigadier General Jack O'Neill**

(Retired)

**Part IV**

**Chapter Four**

2007

As I traveled from planet to planet, everywhere I went I never saw any technology that would help Earth. It took me two months to realize that I missed my friends, but I still wasn't ready to return to the SGC. So I punched in the co-ordinates to what I understood to be Teal'c's last destination.

As soon as my worn leather boot touched the stone steps on the other side of the Stargate, I felt the short hairs spring up along the back of my neck.

I released the safety catch on my P-90 and ran smoothly into the cover of the trees. I crouched down among the undergrowth and quickly looked for the source of my unease. Apart from some churned up earth at the base of the Stargate, where grass had started to grow, I could see nothing to alarm me, so why this warning? It had never let me down before. With this thought in mind, I made my way cautiously towards Ishta's camp, keeping myself hidden along the way.

I started to climb up the hills that surrounded the valley. It was a long slog up the steep grade, but finally I made it to the top. I carefully circled around the ridge, keeping myself concealed behind shrubs and small trees until I found a perfect vantage point. I dropped to the ground, slowly crawling on my elbows, pushing with my knees and feet until I had a good view of the valley below.

At first sight I could see a normal deserted camp, no life signs at all. There were piles of clothing littering the ground in small clumps here and there. I could see an animal, most probably a horse or cow lying on its side in one of the corrals. I dragged my monocular out of my top pocket and quickly scanned the area. I couldn't see any sign of marauding Jaffa, but what I did see made my heart go cold and a dread began to build up in the pit of my stomach. With one final search of in the surrounding hills, I quickly began my descent, trying my hardest not to get tangled in the thick bracken in my haste to find out if my fears were confirmed.

Silently, I moved from the cover of the trees and ran up behind one of the tents; it was old and tattered and uncared for. A thick layer of dust and dirt covered the sagging skins. I worked my way around the tent and peeked into one of the tears in the side. The smell told me what I wanted to know and confirmed my fears. The next few hours I knew were not going to be pleasant, but I had to be sure that Teal'c had escaped.

I'm not a medical examiner, but I had experienced enough death and decay to know that the bodies had been here for several weeks. Fortunately, not so long that I couldn't determine who they were, but long enough to make my task gruesome while I searched for my friends. After what seemed many hours, but only forty-five minutes later, I was relieved to find out that the only male bodies were those of the attacking Jaffa. The piles of clothing littered across the campsite that I had seen from my elevated vantage point, had turned out to be bodies. I recognized some of the faces, but none were my friends. It was a blessing that there were no children among the dead. I don't think I could handle finding children left to rot in the sun.

There were too many bodies for me to bury. The helplessness I could feel saddened me. I wandered over to the corral. The animal carcass was a horse; only one, I know there had been many more. They must have gone through the Stargate to safety with the others. There is no way Ishta's people would have left the dead to lie out here exposed to the elements if they were still on the planet. Incongruously, a large pile of hay, flattened by the rain was beside the dead horse. Something was poking out the side of the hay. Leaning down I tugged at a black web strap. I recognized this material, and my heart began to beat erratically as I pulled harder on the strap.

I fell back on my butt with a thump as the strap followed by the pack, released from what was holding it down. Dumping the pack onto the ground, I quickly pushed the dank hay apart and could see a large body – fully kitted out with Jaffa amour. Even though I was sure Teal'c would not be wearing his amour here, my heart increased its staccato beats and I found myself breathing heavily. With effort, as the body was heavy, I turned him over. The bright gold marking was stark against the blackened forehead. The sun glinted off the bright gold horns and moon of Baal's First Prime. My heart returned to its steady thump inside my chest and I let out a puff of breath as I sat back onto my heels. I knew this guy, he had been the cause of so much pain and strife in my life and now he was dead. I didn't feel anything but relief – relief that it wasn't Teal'c.

I slowly stood up, still clutching the back packs strap. This was Teal'c's pack, standard SGC issue. It was heavy in my hand; I quickly opened it wondering what I would find. Apart from some clothing, the personal CD player that I had seen Teal'c packing into his bag so long ago was sitting on the top. Its silver metal brightly contrasted against the dark material.

I lifted out the player and started to push some of the buttons. My curiosity overcame the ludicrousness of the situation, of me in the middle of nowhere, wondering if the player still worked after so long.

The lid popped open and nestled inside was a CD with writing printed across it in Teal'c's neat handwriting. It was a message for me. 'You were right, it ran out of batteries.' Underneath was a word that didn't make any sense. It consisted of seven letters. KOHREDS. I knew this was a message to me, but as for what it meant, I had no idea. A feeling of comfort and trust came over me as I realized that Teal'c had known that one day I would come. He had left this for me to find so I would know where he had gone to. Now all I needed was Carter to help decipher the code. My sad memories of Sam dashed all pleasure of finding this sign from Teal'c. Shutting down the painful memory, I looked at the letters again. Did it say a name of a planet? I asked myself. No that would be too obvious. He had to be careful that no one else would find it and work it out.

I tucked the CD player into my pack and started walking back towards the gate. It was much quicker and easier going this way. Even so, I didn't relax my guard as I made my way back to the Stargate.

It was dark and the moon highlighted the Stargate against the dark forest. The moon wasn't bright enough to show the glyphs clearly. Immediately, I realized what I had been missing. "Doh!" I hit the heel of my hand on my forehead – of course, it isn't a name of a planet, it's the address. I quickly released my pack, pulled out the CD and some paper and looked at the letters again. Okay so each letter represented a glyph. But where would I start? This planet or Earth? The last letter in the address had to be this planets point of origin and I knew what that was, so I could work backwards.

The last letter on the CD corresponded with this planet's point of origin. The rest was easy. He had used Earth's symbol as A and worked his way around the glyphs clockwise. One hour later I had the address. Well – I hoped I had the address. Carter would've been proud of me. This time instead of sharp stabs of painful memories, just sadness and regret filled my heart.

Even though I was tired and in need of sleep, staying here would not be a good choice, I shouldered my pack and punched in the address.

I knew as soon as I walked through the Stargate I had arrived on the right planet. The prickling of hairs was still there, but the three fierce Amazon women pointing staff weapons at me assured me that these were Ishta's people.

"Hi ladies." I waved my hand reassuringly and smiled my best smile at them.

"General O'Neill. Please follow."

I was welcomed into their village like a long lost brother, uncle, grandfather… Those kids really did like to make fun of my hair. At least I had some, not like some people I won't mention.

It was really good to see Brat'ac. He strode proudly out of one of the tents. "Greetings, O'Neill. It has been a long time since we have seen you." He clasped my arm with his hand and slapped me on my shoulder with the other. I couldn't help grinning. Feelings of loneliness washed from me as he led me into his tent.

"Where's Teal'c?" I asked, just before pushing my way through the tent flap.

"He is not far, word has been sent to him. He will be here soon."

"Rya'c?" I questioned.

"It is he that has gone to inform Teal'c of your arrival." Brat'ac carefully sat down and poured some wine into a large metal tankard from a flagon near by. "Here, O'Neill, you look like you are parched."

I grinned, and took the tankard from him; this should have my insides sloshing for a week. The tankard was enormous. "Thank you, Master Brat'ac."

He smiled, and then continued to talk. "You have arrived at an opportune moment as I believe Teal'c wishes to speak with you."

"Oh?" I queried.

Brat'ac answered with a noncommittal smile and took a long draught from his tankard.

I couldn't understand why everyone seemed so calm and at ease. I had seen the destruction of their last camp.

"Brat'ac, what happened?" I asked quietly.

He looked up at me then gazed into the fire. His eyes reflected pain and sorrow. I waited patiently for his answer. After a few silent moments, he started to speak, his voice quiet and reedy at first.

"They came without warning. Fortunately, word reached them in time and they were able to get the children to safety. Some stayed behind to lure the attacking force into the camp, but there were too many. They weren't victorious." His voice gained strength as the anger overcame the sadness. "Teal'c, Ishta, Rya'c, myself, along with many of the warriors had left to meet with a small group of rebels on another planet at the time. We arrived to find the carnage left by Baal's Jaffa." His voice dropped to a whisper. "We were too late. Many brave warriors died that day."

"What made you choose here?" I asked.

"We found this planet last year and we made plans to move here if ever we needed to, you have one, you call it the Alpha site?"

I nodded.

"We wanted to stay and mourn the dead, but a mother ship was in orbit and more forces were on the way. We haven't been back since." He looked up at me again, a small smile played around his mouth. "We grow strong in number as more free Jaffa join us every day." He reached up with his arm and clapped me heavily on the shoulder with the palm of his hand. "And now, you join us, O'Neill, we will be stronger than ever."

The smile I had displayed fell at his words. "Brat'ac, I'm only h-"

"O'Neill!"

I turned and swiftly stood and greeted Teal'c as he pulled me into a bear hug. It was good to see him.

After being squashed to a pulp, he finally let me go. I gestured towards Brat'ac. "Brat'ac here has been filling me in on what has been happening around here. So how's the rebellion coming along?"

He smiled before sitting down beside the blazing fire, which Brat'ac had built up. "It is going well, O'Neill. We have many Jaffa infiltrated into the System Lords armies. It is only a matter of time before we can overthrow Baal."

"Now that you mention Baal, I bumped into two of his super soldiers recently. They have a new battery, they last longer. And talking of batteries, "I rummaged in my pack, "I believe this is yours." I grinned as I pulled out his personal CD player. Teal'c raised one eyebrow and took it from me.

"Do you have new batteries on you, O'Neill?" he asked.

"No, sorry." I watched amazed as his shoulders slumped slightly. This man liked his music.

Several hours later, after we had eaten, everyone had retired to bed. Teal'c and I were quietly talking. We had exhausted the Goa'uld discussion, I had skirted around my adventures rather unsuccessfully and now Teal'c was giving me that look.

"Have you found what you are looking for yet, O'Neill?"

I tried to ignore the question, but the look was too strong. "I'm not looking for anything, Teal'c," I answered.

"This is true, O'Neill. You are running away," he stated.

Anger coursed through me bringing me to my feet. I quickly turned my back to him and poked the embers with my booted foot.

"O'Neill." His voice was full of understanding. "I am returning to the Tau'ri for a while, will you accompany me? I am sure they will be pleased to see you again."

I turned and faced him. "I need more time." It hurt my pride to admit this to my friend, but I could see he understood. "Is Earth in danger?" I asked.

He smiled softly. "Not that I am aware of."

I sat back down; the anger fled as quickly as it had come.

The following day, my bag packed with fresh supplies, I took my leave. My chat with Teal'c the previous evening had reminded me that I was not ready to return to the SGC and all the memories it contained just yet, but maybe in a couple of months I would return for a visit.

We were standing at the base of the Stargate, I had punched in one of the addresses on my list and the bright blue oscillating surface reflected onto Teal'c's face.

"O'Neill it can be cold on these planets. Please take this. You may need it."

Folded carefully in his outstretched hands was a black leather coat. I remember seeing it for the first time after I returned from my stint with Baal. Teal'c had worn it many times in the winter on Earth. I nodded to him as I took it from his hands. The coat was long and looked way too big for me. But as I pulled it on, it fitted snugly over my jacket and vest, successfully hiding my P-90 under its soft leather.

"Thank you, Teal'c."

I picked up my pack and slung it over one shoulder. It was heavy with ammunition which Teal'c had generously replenished my diminishing supplies. "Say hi to the others for me," I said, before turning towards the blue surface.

Hating goodbyes, I quickly waved and walked through the Stargate.

The next three months were filled with traveling from planet to planet. Sometimes I came across technological doohickeys that looked useful, but mostly there was nothing of interest. These planets seemed to be devoid of anything remotely goa'uld. How they had kept free of the evil snakes, I had no idea. I suppose they were just plain lucky.

I stood on a crowded planet, jostled by passers-by while I contemplated my list which Eimon had thrust into my hands many months ago. I crossed off number seventeen. I was about three quarters of the way down the list. I had to admit I was enjoying myself. The wanderer in me was strong and if I found the people too overbearing, I had a safe haven to stay. My quiet planet, no one lived there at all. I looked at number eighteen, and then reached over and pushed the glyphs on the DHD. With a quick glance back at the bustling town, I walked up the stone steps and stepped through the portal.

_DISCLAIMER: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions and Gekko Productions. This story has been written for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations and story are the property of the authors._

8


	23. Chapter 23

**Memoirs of Brigadier General Jack O'Neill**

(Retired)

**Part VII**

**Chapter One**

2007

This time, the Stargate was kind to me; it let me stride out onto the steps without dumping me on my butt in the middle of a crowded market day. I had three weeks to kill before I was due to rendezvous with an SGC team and give them my bag of goodies that was squashed in the bottom of my back pack. It had been one of Hammond's conditions when I didn't accompany Fraiser back to Earth.

The large town was bustling with activity. The horses and carts kicked up the dry dust so it swirled around making the pedestrians cough. A fine film of brown dust covered everything and everyone. In fact, that was the only distinctive colour as far as the eye could see. Heads turned to look in my direction. Guess I stuck out in my long black leather coat. The edges flapped around my ankles as I strode along towards one of the eating houses. I was hungry and the smell that was wafting from the building was making my stomach rumble.

I had to push my way through the throng to get into the building as people were steadily walking past the small eatery. The small restaurant or inn wasn't quite full. There were a few empty tables dotted here and there. A thick haze of smoke permeated the room from the steady pipe smoking occupants. Obviously, they didn't know about how smoking could kill you. Ignoring the smoke, I wandered over to the counter. I couldn't see any food on display, only a large round black cauldron set back behind the counter on a large hearth. A fire raged beneath it and I could hear its contents bubbling.

Suddenly, a large beaming red face popped up from behind the counter and spoke, "How can I help you?" He wiped his hands on a brown cloth, the same colour as everything else in this town.

"What do you have?" I enquired, now beginning to doubt my choice in eating places.

"We have gurglot stew and bread," he stated.

"Gurglot?" I asked nervously.

He beamed even more. "Gurglot," he stated again.

Deciding I wanted to know exactly what I was going to eat, and I most probably would regret pursuing this line of investigation. I asked again, "gurglot?" gesturing in the air a bit to emphasize my question.

By now, I had aroused the interest of the diners. Most of them had swiveled around on their chairs and were openly staring at their after dinner entertainment. Two people in long black cloaks sitting in a far corner didn't seem to want to know what they had eaten as they were hunched over their plates ignoring my game of charades.

"Ah!" the Chef exclaimed.

I smiled hopefully back at him. Maybe he finally understood what I wanted to know.

"Gurglot," he repeated. Then went onto demonstrate the animal's movements and the noises it made. I have to admit I was relieved and reassured when I heard the sound 'Moo' come out from his mouth. Looking quickly out the window through the haze of smoke I saw small herds of cattle that were being taken to the sale yards.

I pointed at the cattle. He nodded vigorously, in fact, so enthusiastically I wondered if his head was going to bobble off his neck. Fortunately, it didn't. For just two small universal coins he piled my plate high with a mound of indistinguishable brown sludge, and topped it off with a large flat loaf of brown bread.

I found an empty table and plonked myself down on the brown chair. As always I made sure the wall was behind me and the door was in front of me. I don't like surprises, especially when I'm off world.

The bread tasted good; in fact, it was the best bread I had tasted since I'd lived in Mariam's house. After a couple of bites, I pushed it aside and studied my dinner. Okay this was beef, but why are there little round balls in it, and what is that little disc shaped thing? Drawing a deep breath I speared the small ball with my two pronged fork and popped it in my mouth. _'A pea!' _It was a pea, I quickly speared the disc shaped object, and it tasted like carrot. This was one weird meal. Every object that didn't look like beef, had a different taste, some I didn't recognize, but they seemed to be vegetables. In fact this was a great meal, if you closed your eyes. _'For crying out loud! Even the plate was the same brown colour.'_

Other than me, only two other people in the room had a bit of colour if you can call black a colour. They were the two who hadn't seemed to take an interest in me earlier. I was half way through my meal, when they stood up and started to slink out of the room. Just as they went through the door, I caught a glimpse of the second person's face as she quickly glanced at me. My food lost its taste. It turned to dust in my mouth. Silently, I picked up my pack. Sliding the loaf of bread into it, I stood to leave. I followed them out of the eating house, leaving my half eaten meal on the table.

I didn't see them at first, and then I saw them running. They were about four hundred yards away and the leader was dragging the other person along behind him. I could hear their footfalls on the cobbled street as they fled. Once again, the second person glanced my way and I caught a quick frightened look, confirming my suspicions.

It was Sam.

Adrenalin began to course through my body as I pushed my way through the busy crowds. I felt a tightness across my chest as hope began to beat into my heart. She is alive.

There was no sign of them as I reached the corner. I moved quickly up an alleyway, looking in doorways, pushing at closed doors, desperate to find them. Then I heard a shout, then a small scream and, a few seconds later, a thud. I ran back towards the sound skidding to a halt as I saw a body lying on the ground at my feet. With trepidation, I knelt down beside the cloaked form.

I reached towards the body.

"Jack?"

I turned around on one spot and looked straight into Sam's eyes.

"Carter? Sam... It **is **you."

She pushed aside her cloak and threw her arms around my neck. Clinging tightly, she buried her face in my neck as her body shook with sobs

Holding her firmly, I drew her away from what had happened.

"Did anyone see you?"

She shook her head while still hanging on tightly.

"Come on, let's get outta here."

I knew just the place to go. It was the planet that Eimon had recommended to me. I went there frequently to get away from people. It was my quiet space. I had some fishing gear and some extra supplies stashed away.

Pulling her along by her hand, I led her through the crowds to the Stargate. I hoped that no one had seen what had happened and would come running after us. While we ran, I shoved all my emotions down, now was not the time to lose control. I punched in the co-ordinates to a desert planet, so no one would know where we had really gone. As soon as the vortex had established itself, I dragged her through. Without delay I ran to the DHD and started to dial up the address to my planet. All this time Sam still clung to me, not letting go. I was afraid of what had happened to her, and who had held her captive. I needed to know if she was all right. I waited impatiently for the last chevron to lock and the surface of the wormhole to settle, before I pulled her up the steps into the Vortex.

As soon as we arrived on the other side, I turned her around to face me and looked into her eyes.

"Where have you been? What happened?" My heart was pounding, not sure what her answer was going to be.

No answer came forth. She reached up and touched my face then buried her face into my shoulder again. This was going to take time, and this planet would be the best place to wait.

I led her up through the hills, to a cave where I had hidden my things which was about a forty-five minutes walk away. It took us little over an hour, as Sam stumbled over the rough pathway. She seemed to be in shock. _'She wasn't the only one.'_

The cave was dark and cold, so I pulled out the dry firewood that I had left there on a previous visit and built a fire. This took quite some time as Sam was still clinging to me. Now I was really getting worried. This was not like my Sam. My Sam was strong. Then I remembered the Sam from the alternate universe, when she had been held prisoner for two years. Who knew what had happened to her in the last two years.

Reassuring her, I peeled her hands from my arms and sat her down near the fire. I pulled out my sleeping bag, unzipped it and wrapped it around her shoulders.

When she was ready I knew she would talk, but until then I needed patience, which was something I was struggling to find. Food wouldn't help as we had just eaten. But maybe, like me, she hadn't had enough, so I pulled out the brown loaf of bread and broke it in half and handed a piece to her.

She looked up at me and smiled then shook her head. "No, thank you."

I smiled back as I sat down beside her in front of the warm fire.

"What happened, Carter?" I asked again.

"I don't know." Her voice was quiet and sounded lost.

"It's been two years, how can you not know?"

"I don't remember." She looked up at me with frightened eyes. "I don't remember," she repeated.

"Hey, you'll remember. Give yourself some time," I tried to assure her, "Why don't you get some sleep, I know I'm tired."

She nodded and rolled the sleeping bag around herself and lay down on the floor beside the fire.

With my knee objecting loudly, I stood up and walked back to the entrance of the cave, snatching up one of my blankets along the way. It took a while for sleep to come for me. I watched the sun slowly setting behind the distant alps making the snow on the peaks glint a deep orange red before finally dipping down behind them.

_I was falling down a long wormhole; the screaming sound of it rang in my ears as I sped past worlds that I had visited in my travels. Giant green fur balls, grabbed at me as I flew past them, their stench permeating my inner being. Daniel, Janet, Hammond and Teal'c snatched at my clothing and my body, their eyes glowing bright yellow before disappearing behind me. I crashed into buildings, some firm and strong, others crumbling with decay. The battle field where Sam had died spiraled around me as I fell, starting with us stepping through the 'gate to when I blacked out trying to get us back to the Stargate. Then it became dark as I fell through a large forest, the branches snapping as they broke my fall. I could feel myself beginning to slow down then I landed on the hard ground with a thump._

"Jack."

I could hear someone calling my name faintly in the distance.

"Jack!"

"Ouch!" right in my ear.

I opened my eyes looking around for the source of the sound. It was Sam, she was perched up on one elbow right beside me, rolled up in my sleeping bag, looking, I have to admit, rather beautiful.

"Hey, Carter."

"You all right? You looked like you were dreaming."

"Yes, you could say that." I sat up and stretched out my arms and legs. Apart from my usual sore knee, nothing out of the ordinary hurt, until I stood up, and my head began to pound. I rubbed my hand down my face and then looked back down at Sam. I still couldn't believe it, she was alive.

"So, how are you today?" I asked, noticing already that she wasn't hanging around my neck anymore, not sure if I was disappointed or not. Choosing not to think too hard about this, I picked up my water bottle and took a swig of the stale luke-warm water.

She untangled herself from the sleeping bag and sat on it. Smiling at me, she answered, "A lot better, thank you. I'm beginning to remember now."

I raised one eyebrow Teal'c style, to encourage her to continue while I took another swig of water. This exchange brought tremors of excitement? Emotion? I couldn't quite place it. Maybe it was just my nightmare induced sweat cooling on my body that was causing the shivers.

"I don't remember all of it, but enough. Baal revived me in the sarcophagus."

Startled, I looked up. My heart began to thump loudly again as adrenalin rushed into my veins, taking away the small tremors that shivered through my body.

"I managed to escape, and then another Goa'uld caught me and threw me into his prison. That's where I have been for the last… I don't know how many years… he used me as payment to Baal and was sending me back with one of his Jaffa. That was when you saw me; I couldn't believe it when I saw you discussing the menu with the owner of the inn. I didn't know how to catch your eye and let you know I was there."

"What was the name of the Goa'uld who has had you prisoner for the last two years?"

"I don't remember that bit and I don't remember anything else other than that. Sorry," she added, and then looked down at her fingers that were plucking at her clothing.

"No matter, come on lets get some fresh water." I bent down and took hold of one of her hands and pulled her to her feet.

Still holding her hand, we walked down towards the stream, where I knew its source was a fresh water underground spring. The spring was set way up in the hillside, gushing out of a small aperture amongst the rocks. It fell from a great height hitting the large boulders below, and the spray splashed onto the dark green moss covered rocks at the side of the stream. Carefully walking over these slippery moss covered rocks I still clung to her hand, not letting go. I was afraid if I did, she would disappear into a cloud.

We quickly refilled the water canteens and watched the rainbow in the spray as clouds of fine mist flowed up from where the waterfall hit the deep pool beneath it.

The banks beside the stream were covered in a thick springy grass, dotted here and there with small purple flowers. Finding a clear space so as to not crush the delicate blooms, I sat down facing the stream, pulling Sam down beside me.

"When do we go home?" she asked.

I closed my eyes briefly before answering. "I thought we should stay here for a bit. You need some down time from your ordeal." I could feel something sink deep within myself at her words. I didn't want to go 'home' I wanted to stay here with Sam for as long as I could. Then an awful thought hit me. She wanted to get back to Pete. I couldn't look at her as I waited for her to speak.

"Okay, if that is what you want." Her voice was quiet and measured as she spoke. No feeling behind it at all. I felt that I needed to get through her hard shell that she had surrounded herself with.

Startled, I looked down at my hands; in them was a small posy of the purple short stemmed flowers. I must have picked them without realizing it. Turning, I handed them to Sam, nervous that she would reject my small gesture.

I watched her face as she stared at the flowers I held outstretched to her. She leaned forward and sniffed the flowers and went, "Nice aroma."

"_Aroma?" _ I raised my eyebrows in surprise at her use of words.

She laughed then corrected herself. "Fragrance… nice fragrance. And thank you." She added and took the flowers from me.

Slowly, as the day progressed she filled me in on some of her captivity. It was very sparse with real information as she only gave me snatches of it. Some of it just didn't make any sense, but I put that down to her loss of memory.

In between her story, I gave her a run down of what had happened to me during the last two years. I didn't tell her all as I wasn't sure she would handle it well. Through all this time, she not once asked about Pete, part of me was relieved, but another was nervous, maybe she had forgotten about him or maybe she was just waiting to get back to him.

At the end of the day, she curled up in my sleeping bag beside the fire, she said she always felt cold these days, and I had to agree with her, sometimes her hands were ice cold. I moved away towards the entrance, I knew we were quite safe here, but you never knew when you are off world what is going to happen. Once again, I pulled my blanket around my shoulders and watched the sun set over the distant alps and I finally slept.

_I was falling down a long wormhole, the noise in my ears filling my head with the screaming sound. I twisted and turned with the flow of the wormhole, visions of my past flashing before me, spinning out of my reach. Apophis' ship loomed ahead of me and I was running down the corridor towards Sam who had fallen to the floor. The force field stopping me in my tracks, smashing the force field with a wrench, with my hands anything I could. I stood there in despair, before her face was whisked away from me as I continued to plummet into the depths of space. A tight band surrounded my forehead as I was strapped to a chair, spilling out my inner most feelings, explaining why I couldn't leave Carter behind. Falling… lightening spiked around me, I felt the sting, as it jabbed at my body, the loud crackling sound penetrated my ears causing excruciating pain. I lifted my zat and aimed it at the lightening, watching in dismay as Carter fell crumpling to the floor. Only to have the scene whisked away from my sight in a myriad of colours. Swirling… falling… down… Distorted faces of Carter twirled past me, laughing, talking, crying, I called out for her, clutching at her as I fell… _

"Carter!"

I was sitting up and Sam was right beside me, holding my head. She looked frightened, but not as frightened as I felt.

I grabbed her by her shoulders and then pulled her to me in desperation, she was alive, it was just a dream_ - 'it was just a dream_.' Sweat trickled down the inside of my clothes and began to cool me in the dawn air. I sunk my hand into her short golden hair and pulled her head closer to mine. I could feel the stubble of my beard rub against her smooth cheek seconds before I found her mouth and started to kiss her. She fervently kissed me back holding my head firmly with one hand, then a small gasp as she pulled away violently, pushing me back away from her as though I had burned her. I looked into horror stricken eyes, before she looked down at the ground.

I knelt at the entrance of the cave breathless; I didn't know what to do. I had blown it, with just one kiss. I slowly stood up and moved away, I didn't know what to say either.

"Jack?" Her voice sounded small and subdued.

I slowly turned; she was looking up at me, her eyes full of remorse and emotional pain. Not caring how my knee hurt I knelt back down in front of her.

"I'm sorry, Sam. I-"

She slowly shook her head and held her fingers to my mouth to stop me from speaking.

"No, it's me, it's too soon. Please, give me some time."

I nodded to her and gave her a small smile, maybe there was some hope for us. I reached down for the water canteens and waved them at her.

"I'll just get us some more water." She needed time to think, I needed time to think. Ever since I had seen her in the eating house, my head had been in a whirl, I didn't know what to think, how to think or even if I was thinking. If this morning was anything to go by, I definitely wasn't thinking.

My head was pounding, firing sharp stabs of pain in above my eyes. I tried rubbing my head to relieve the pressure, but nothing seemed to help. If the previous day was a gauge, it should soon wear off as the day progressed. I snatched up my P-90 as I left, usually I took my handgun with me, but this was closer.

As I walked along the small path, I wondered where this was going to all go, would I go back to the SGC and Earth to live, or carry on with my travels? What would Sam do? Instead of clearing my head, it became more confused as my feelings intruded into my military mind, making all strategic thoughts fly away.

The gentle flow of the stream seemed to calm me a little as I approached the banks. Apart from a few bugs flying around, I had never seen any animals or birds on this planet so it was quiet. I sat down beside the stream and watched the butterflies do their fluttering thing on the delicate purple flowers. Bees were darting in and out of the large yellow bell shaped flowers that grew tall beside the still pool that was fed by the larger deep pool. I could hear footsteps coming up behind me; she was walking lightly, but hesitantly.

"It's all right, why don't you come and sit here?" I asked.

I heard a muffled noise. Something was wrong. I carefully stood up and released the safety catch off my weapon.

Sam was standing quite still in the middle of the grassy area just above where I stood. She looked at me steadily for a while, and then just said one word, "Sorry," before turning and walking up the path towards the forest.

My instincts were screaming, but my heart was crying. I listened to my heart.

_DISCLAIMER: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions and Gekko Productions. This story has been written for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations and story are the property of the authors._


	24. Chapter 24

**Memoirs of Brigadier General Jack O'Neill**

(Retired)

**Part VII**

**Chapter Two**

2007

Cautiously, I followed her into the forest, it was quiet and gloomy, I hadn't bothered to come in here after my initial recognizance. I could smell the fresh pine needles that had fallen to the ground. The scent intensifying as my feet bruised the thin spines.

She had stopped and was standing in a small clearing. The hairs that stood up on the back of my neck came as a belated warning. I could hear the hydraulics of small joints as giant metal bugs slowly crept out from between the trees. My attention was taken away from Sam as Fifth walked into the clearing and stood not far from her. Anger coursed through me as I realized that Sam had been compromised by this giant metal bug. Lifting my P-90 and aiming it straight at Fifth, I squeezed the trigger.

As the bullets spewed out the end, I couldn't contain my horror. If I could have caught every one of those bullets and shoved them back down the barrel, I would have, but it was too late.

I watched mesmerized as Sam launched herself in front of Fifth, stopping every single one of those bullets that I had fired. I heard her cry as she crashed to the ground. The P-90 fell from my lifeless fingers and thudded to the ground at my feet. I had killed my Sam; I had found her and killed her. Something began to tear inside my body as if I was being rendered in two.

Fifth bent down and took Sam by her hand and slowly helped her to her feet. I watched in dismay as she repaired herself and became whole again. The clothing that she wore leaving gaping holes that I could see pink skin through.

Revulsion traveling through me, I fell to my knees and threw up. She was and always had been dead. A deep despair replaced my initial relief of seeing her alive.

When my body had finished its purging, I slowly reached out my hand to grab my weapon. If I was going to die, I was going to take as many of those metal bugs with me, but Fifth got there first. He held my P-90 in his hands and smirked, knowing that this was most probably the end, I slowly stood up. _'What a way to go, killed by your own weapon, Jack.' _I stood still.

"What ya waiting for?" I cocked my head on one side. All emotions locked inside my deadpan face.

He smirked again and held the P-90 in both hands. I watched amazed as it melded together into a large solid lump of metal and he dropped it on the ground. My eyes swiveled over to the other replicator. She was watching what was happening, cautious and wary. Then I saw her shoulders relax slightly and Fifth turned away from me and walked back towards her.

When he reached her, he placed a hand on her shoulder, turned and faced me.

"It was a good plan, but we didn't know." He stood quietly.

"Didn't know what?" I asked, knowing that whatever his reply was to be, it wouldn't be good.

"That Major Carter, no wait, I hear it is or was Colonel Carter, is dead."

I shrugged one shoulder and waited to see what would happen next.

"We had heard that she had been captured, but not dead. My plan was good, Samantha here." He gestured towards the other replicator, "Fooled you. She would have fooled the SGC and would have got me and our brethren behind your line of defense."

I bristled at his reference to her name. "Her name is not Samantha," I said as vehemently as I could, satisfied to see her wince at my words.

"But her name is Samantha. I made her to be like your Samantha in every way. My revenge is sweet. You thought you had found Colonel Carter, but you hadn't, she is mine, not yours. Never yours, Colonel O'Neill. You will have to live with this knowledge for the rest of your life."

Involuntary, my eyes traveled over to look at the female replicator; I couldn't call her anything else. She looked like Carter, if she was anything like my Carter, I would think that this exchange would sadden her.

All my emotions bubbled to the surface at this moment, anger being the main driving force. I launched myself at Fifth not caring if I lived or died. I barely reached him as he pulled back his arm and pushed me. I found myself flying through the air. Landing against a large pine tree, I slid down the trunk crashing into branches along the way and stopped at the bottom onto a bed of fine pine needles. Both Fifth and the other replicator walked up to me and stood over me as I lay there stunned.

"Remember this, O'Neill, I will let you go this time, but if we meet again, you will not live, nor will any humans from your planet."

He turned and started to walk away. The other replicator stood looking down at me for a short while, she looked sad. For the first time since I had met her, I saw a lone tear spill out over and roll down her cheek. With all the sobbing she had done, there had been no tears. _'How could have I've been so stupid and blind?' _

"I'm sorry, Jack," she whispered, and then brushed the tear away with one hand. Turning around, she walked back to where Fifth was waiting and took hold of his hand. He smiled at me triumphantly and walked towards the clearing. At that stage all the replicator bugs started to run across the ground towards them. They didn't seem to care where they walked, even if it was over my legs as I lay there in a daze. I didn't even move when one scrambled over my head towards Fifth.

I watched as they collected up around the two human replicators and turned into a ship then fired up and flew off into the atmosphere.

I lay still, not moving at all. I listened to the stream bubbling away in the distance as it flowed down through the rich fields. I was numb both inside and out, all feelings had been squashed down inside, the previous rage that I had felt gone like it had never been there.

I still hadn't moved from the spot where I had landed. After a short while, I could feel a large hollow lump just below my throat. I wondered if maybe I had been hurt there. No that can't be it as I could now feel the sharp pain in my back from where I had made contact with the tree. The lump began to get bigger and bigger making it hard for me to breath. I tried to gulp in air to relieve the pressure, only to feel further pressure behind my eyes. As the full force of realization hit me of what had happened, the dam burst.

_2026_

_"Okay, that's it. No more. I'm finished with this."_

_"Jack?"_

_"What!"_

_"You okay?"_

_"No."_

_"Talk to me"._

_"No."_

_"Well, finish the chapter then."_

_"No."_

_"Jack. Let me see."_

"_No."_

"_Jack… Oh, I see. You have to put this behind you for our sake. It is interfering with us, Jack… Please."_

"_I know, but this is hard, I find myself back there and it awakens things that were asleep." _

"_You have me now, and our children, please finish this so we can move on."_

"_I love you."_

"_I know, Jack. I love you too."_

2007

I didn't cry when Daniel died. I didn't even shed a tear when Janet had died. When Sam died, I just bottled everything up inside. Today as I lay injured at the base of a pine tree on a planet thousands of light years away from Earth, with no one to witness my despair I let it out. The torment and the desolation everything that I had lost came forth into my heart and mind and I sobbed into the pine needles with the pain in my back forgotten in my anguish.

When I woke up, my head felt thick and heavy, let alone my eyes that felt like two boiled onions. Blinking them open, the first sight that met my eyes was a row of light brown ants walking away from me. They were each carrying part of another insect. When a rather large black claw wavered past my nose, I quickly jumped up and promptly regretted the movement.

"Argh!"

Sitting back down heavily, I leaned against the tree, and pain shot through my back. The forest began to dip and sway and then whizzed sidewise a few times before everything came back into focus. Looking down to where I had been lying, I was gratified to see that when I had landed I had squashed a rather large black beetle. It must have been at least six inches long without the claws. Smiling to myself I left the ants to their dinner and slowly stood up, clutching at the tree trunk as I went. Thankfully, the world didn't start to spin again as I bent down to retrieve my P-90 that had been turned into a large blob.

I had to walk carefully so as to not to further injure my back. Sharp shooting pain delved right into my innards with each step, I hoped that I hadn't done serious damage. My mind kept wandering back to Fifth and his new friend; I felt constrictive pain around my heart each time my thoughts went there. To take my mind off the subject I thought of the ants, they worked as a team carrying little pieces of a very large bug - working together…

With that thought in the back of my mind, I gathered my things together, careful not to jar my back any more than I had to. Just as I picked up my pack I remembered that the replicator had put the flowers in my pack for safe keeping. Not wanting them, I pulled open the bag to throw them out. I couldn't find them anywhere.

I was filled with a sudden urgency; I must get back to the SGC. Fifth is going to be one unhappy camper when he finds out. That is 'if' he ever found out. He had made replicator Sam too much like the real person; she had feelings for me too. The signs were all there. Her kissing me back, her stopping, which must have been Fifth stopping her, as they were telekinetically connected. I remembered her apologizing as she left me, a single tear rolling down one cheek. Oh yes, Fifth was going to be one extremely annoyed bug. Part of me was saddened for replicator Sam, but the rest of me was grinning all the way to the Stargate.

As I staggered to the Stargate, I felt as though a large weight had lifted from me, more free and clear minded than I had been for a very long time. I clutched my overstuffed pack in my arms. All my supplies and anything that could be replaced was stashed in the cave, I didn't need any of it where I was going.

I was thankful that once again the Stargate was kind to me by depositing me only lightly on my butt on Kelowna. They were getting used to my unusual arrivals, and I was received with a "Good morning, Jack O'Neill. Jonas Quinn will be only five minutes." The speaker was replacing the telephone in its cradle while he was talking. I stayed right where I was; there was no way my back was going to let me stand up unassisted. A helpful Kelownan came forward and offered his arm to help me upright. Still not wanting to move, I waved him away, just to see Jonas striding in through the doorway.

"Jack!" He shot over to me, "You all right?"

I shook my head. "I need to get to the SGC and you are coming with me."

"I am?" Then a slow smile spread across his face, "Won't be a minute." He practically ran back out of the room, leaving me still sitting on the floor.

By the time Jonas had come back, the guards had risked their lives and helped me up. However hard I had waved them away, they insisted that I move. Apparently I made the room look untidy.

At the speed with which Jonas was at my side ready to leave, I would have thought he'd had advance notice. Getting permission from the authorities and letting his wife know where he was going was normally a long arduous process. I found out later that Jonas was due to visit Earth in two days anyway. So they just pushed it forward.

I was standing, well, if you could call, hanging onto Jonas' shoulder bent over, standing, in front of the blue puddle, wondering if I was going to step out the other end or fall. Feeling every year of my age I hobbled through the Stargate, and fortunately hobbled out the other side the same way I had entered it.

The man that stood at the bottom of the ramp was someone I had never seen before.

"Where's Hammond?"

"And you are?"

"I was going to say the same."

Jonas was grinning, always a bad sign. He gestured towards this other man. "General Matthews… Jack O'Neill. Jack… General Matthews."

My eyes never left his as he stared straight back at me. To my surprise and respect, he didn't flinch. In fact, we never found out who would have looked away first because a swarm of medical staff surrounded me, blocking my vision.

"Hey!" I yelped as they started to prod and poke me.

Where had they come from? Then I remembered, vaguely, a message sent over the loudspeaker, _'Med team to the 'gate room.' _Pushing my way through the med team, '_not an easy task I might add,'_ I made my way to Matthews again.

"Where's General Hammond?"

"Right here, son," came the reassuring Texan drawl.

I looked up to see him standing in the control room next to Walter. I nodded in acknowledgement and let myself be swept away by medics to the infirmary. Through all the exchanges I noticed that the grin had never left Jonas' face. I'd need to talk to him later about warning people about such things as new personnel, especially people like General Matthews. Never have liked surprises.

After the usual X-rays, MRI, blood letting and leeches, I was sitting on one of the infirmary beds opposite Jonas who also had gone through the same process. Though there was a marked absence of bandages, sticky strips and tight uncomfortable strapping around ribs on his personage. His grin had faded, but I suppose sitting opposite a scowling retired general is enough to remove any grin, even Jonas'.

"Hello, Jack."

"Sir." I found myself standing at attention, totally involuntary, old habits die hard.

"Sit down, Jack." George Hammond tried hard to restrain a small smirk at my gaffe. "Jonas, good to see you," he acknowledged the alien, whom I noticed had retrieved his grin again.

"What's going on, General, who is Matthews?" I asked.

"Jack, I was just a temporary replacement for you, and it's hard to run all the things I'm responsible for down here. Matthews is my replacement, just settling him in before I go back to Washington."

"I've never seen him before," I accused.

"You've been away a long time, Jack," he let out a soft sigh, "And a lot has happened while you've been gone."

"Yeah?" My curiosity was piqued.

"At your debriefing, Jack, all will be explained."

I watched Hammond walk away. Something was up, I just didn't know what… yet.

Just as I stood to leave, I heard the unmistakable clipping of shoes on the concrete floor.

"Doc?"

"Hello, Jack," Janet said with a large smile.

"So…" I leaned back onto the side of the bed. "They let you treat the poor unsuspecting patients then?" I couldn't help grinning.

"Yes, not as CMO though, but I don't mind, just glad to be here and alive."

"So," as I started to walk towards the corridor, totally ignoring Jonas, who said earlier that he had something to do anyway, "how are you fitting in?"

"Oh." She shrugged her shoulders, "weird at first, some treated me like a long lost sister, others a bit warily. But, I do understand," she looked up at me and smiled softly. "Some of the people here are different from what they were in my world." A secret smile slowly spread across her face, then she continued, "it took ages for Cassie to accept me," she then looked sad, "she still calls me Janet and not Mom, but again, I do understand. This Cassie seems very grown up, but then she has been through more than mine had." I realized that she had hit the nail on the head with that sentence, 'this' and 'mine'. She stopped in her tracks and looked at me. "See?" She shrugged her shoulders again and we continued towards the commissary. The secret smile appeared on her face again. "I am glad I came though, this is better than I could have ever had hoped."

"I'm glad, Janet." I smiled back at her. I was surprised at the amount she had talked. Most people, particularly Janet, never exposed their inner feelings, especially to me.

"What brought you back early?" she asked.

I shrugged and then winced at the pain is caused. "The replicators are causing trouble again, and I needed to warn the SGC. Fifth has made a copy of Colonel Carter." I stopped walking as I realized that Janet was no longer beside me. I turned around. Her face was ashen as though all the blood had drained from her. "Janet?" I started to walk back towards her. She looked up at me with stricken eyes.

"Did she do this to you?" Her hand waved over my bandages.

I shook my head, "No. Fifth did." _'… she did something far worse.' _"But she could infiltrate the base very easily."

"Jack." Janet placed her hand gently on my forearm.

"It's all right, Janet. I'm fine, really." She nodded taking my warning to leave it alone. "So, tell me more about Cassie. What's she doing?" I watched as colour slowly began to filter back into her face, but even so, the pallor of her skin didn't quite come back to normal.

_DISCLAIMER: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions and Gekko Productions. This story has been written for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations and story are the property of the authors._


	25. Chapter 25

**Memoirs of Brigadier General Jack O'Neill**

(Retired)

**Part VII**

**Chapter Three**

2007

One hour later we were still talking, sitting in the commissary drinking numerous cups of coffee. After not drinking coffee for nearly a year, I was beginning to feel rather light-headed. Fortunately, Janet had finished her shift, she had said something about doing or waiting for something before she went home, but it could wait. I was little muddled on what she meant until the answer came bursting through the doors.

"Jack! You're back early." He promptly slapped me on my back, nearly pushing my nose into my coffee cup. Shooting pain traveled through my body and I groaned.

"Daniel Jackson. Can't you see he's injured?" One pint-sized doctor was standing in front of Daniel, hands on hips glaring up at him.

Instead of Daniel's usual spinning head routine for looking at the injured party, he looked at his feet and mumbled, "Sorry, Janet."

Janet didn't move a muscle, she still looked angry. Daniel looked up at her, frowned, then his head spun around like he always did. "Sorry, Jack," and smiled sheepishly at me.

Janet sat back down in her chair, and Daniel sat down next to her, rather closely I might add. My eyes looked at Janet, then at Daniel then back at Janet again, and I just could not help smiling.

"So… Daniel, what kind of rocks did you find this time?"

Totally ignoring my dig at his artifacts, he started to tell us about his last mission. Of which I gathered by the conversation that he had just come back from one. "We found an address. It is one of the 'Ancients'. It said that there was a great cache of weapons."

I raised one eyebrow and groaned internally, I had been out there for a long time and there were always rumors of caches of weapons or treasure or something of value.

"Well, not the actual planet of weapons, but information about one," he stopped. "Injured? Jack, what happened?"

I had wondered how long it would take this overexcited geek to actually notice that I was injured and that I was really here after being away a long time.

"I'll fill you in at the debriefing."

"Oh." He sat quiet for a bit. "When's your debriefing?"

"I don't know, when Hammond calls, I s'pose."

"Most probably before ours, we'll be a little while, as Teal'c's getting patched up."

Now it was my turn to get worried. "What happened?"

"We'll fill you in at the debriefing," he answered a bit too smugly.

"So, help me Daniel…"

"Now boys, that's enough." We both turned our heads and looked at Janet.

"Will, Jack O'Neill and Doctor Jackson please report to the briefing room?" The distorted sound of the loud speaker system intruded into our conversation. But then again, maybe it saved our bacon.

"Excuse me, Janet." Daniel spoke politely as he stood up.

"Not so fast, Danny, she's coming with us. I want her to hear what I have to say."

The painkillers had started to wear off by the time we arrived in the briefing room. General Hammond was sitting in his usual chair at the head of the table, while Matthews was sitting in my chair. _'Remember, Jack, you gave up that right two years ago.' _With a silent sigh, I sat down in the nearest chair. Once again, I observed Janet and Daniel sit rather close together. I was pleased, I just hoped that I had read the signs correctly that was all.

"Where's Teal'c?" Hammond was impatient to begin.

"I apologize for my lateness, General Hammond." The unmistakable deep rumble of Teal'c's voice came from behind me. "O'Neill, it is good to see you." He inclined his head and I noticed he carefully sat opposite me. I saw pain in his eyes as he sank into the chair. I started to ask him what was wrong, but the sudden warning glare I received told me that I would embarrass him so I kept quiet.

"Okay, Doctor Jackson, you first," Hammond looked at Daniel.

I didn't mind the delay, as I really didn't want to have to tell my story anyway.

"Teal'c and I found some ruins on PX-267. The writings on the stones were from the Ancients."

At about that point I fazed out. My back was hurting, I felt very strange and restricted being back here and all I wanted to do was get back out through the Stargate.

"… and will you come on this mission, Jack?"

"Huh?" I looked up. I gathered by the expressions on the faces around me, that there was a bewildered look on my face. Teal'c raised an eyebrow. Daniel looked questioning. Janet looked like she knew exactly what had happened and Jonas was grinning. _What was Jonas doing here; I didn't see him come in?_ And General Hammond, well I'm positive I saw steam coming out of his ears. "Say, again?" I tried to look as innocent as I could.

"SG-1, you know the team." Daniel said beginning to look annoyed. "We go to PX-974 and retrieve the address to the cache of weapons."

Now it was my turn to raise an eyebrow. "You want me to go?" I looked directly at Hammond.

"Yes, Jack. That is, if you'll do it."

"Jonas comes too." I said quickly, watching his surprised expression out the corner of my eye. _'Didn't see that coming, did ya?'_

"Done," answered Hammond, as if we had been bartering.

Janet then piped up.

"There is one, or should I say two, problems. Namely, Jack's and Teal'c's injuries, they will take a while to heal."

I gathered that Janet had observed Teal'c's sitting position as well as me.

"I haven't seen Jack's x-rays but from what I have observed and what he told me, 'which isn't much'" she glowered at me before continuing. "That he has a cracked rib. That will take several days to heal. And Teal'c-"

"Will be fine in two days time," Teal'c speared Janet with a look that shut her up. I couldn't help but smirk, immediately, drawing the same stare that had been aimed at Janet straight at me. I shifted in my seat and promptly changed the subject.

"Has Siler finished with my pack? And if so, where is it?"

"I have your pack with me, O'Neill." _Uh oh, had to look back in Teal'c's direction again_.

He lifted it up and plonked it down in the middle of the table, I started to reach for it, but Jonas beat me to it and pushed it towards me. With a thankful nod, I started to open it. I lifted up what was left of my P-90 and dropped it with a crash onto the table.

"This was once a very good weapon; in fact, it was my P-90. I'd like a replacement please." I looked up at everyone and waited for their reaction. Getting nothing but surprised stares, I continued, "Some more ammo would be a help too, as I'm nearly out."

"What happened to it?" asked Hammond finally.

"The replicators are at it again, I came across Fifth and he didn't like me using my P-90 so he decided to stop me." I sat waiting for Carter to start explaining all the scientific reasons behind the molecular structure changes and how Fifth actually did that. Looking around in surprise at the silence, a soft thump hit my heart as I remembered. Being here wasn't good for me. This was why I'd left; I kept expecting her to start spouting techno babble at any moment. Remembering again why I was really here, I drew in a calming breath and continued with my tale.

"Fifth has made another human replicator. It looks like Carter and it would fool anyone here. Not Janet with her infirmary gadgets, but definitely an off world team that came across her." Except for Janet, who already knew, everyone had leaned forward in surprise, even the new general in his silence looked shocked at my news.

"Jack."

"Not now, Daniel." I glared him down. Now was not the time to start asking those kinds of questions.

"What happened, Jack?" I looked up at Hammond.

"It fooled me for two days." I glared around the table, daring anyone to ask anything personal about me and how I reacted to it. "They were going to use me to bring it back here so it could let all the bugs in here."

"Why didn't it?"

"Because, Daniel, Fifth decided that he had already got his revenge." I shifted uncomfortably in my seat again as my back was killing me, let alone this conversation.

Changing the subject, I pulled out all the doohickeys that I had collected along the way. "These are for Doctor Lee. I hope he can make head and tail out these, because they were heavy and took up lots of room." They crashed onto the highly polished table. My patience was wearing thin, not only with the subject, but the pain in my back.

"General, I think Jack needs to return to the infirmary." _'Give Doc a pat on the back.'_

Hammond nodded, "Yes, I can see that, can you please take him, Doctor Fraiser?"

"Yes, sir."

I slowly stood up, then watched the room begin to twirl lazily around, and then quickly spin away from me as I crashed to the floor.

"So, Teal'c how's your injury?" I asked, with the most innocent look on my face I could conjure up. I was sitting, leaning against a mound of pillows in one of the infirmary beds, attached to brain and heart monitors and goodness knows what else, as they 'monitored' all the electric gizmos that buzzed around in my brain and body. Apparently, something was a tad off in there, but they didn't know what yet.

"My injury is healing well, O'Neill."

However hard I tried I couldn't find out exactly where his injury was, he never told me, Daniel had been sworn to secrecy on pain of death I believe, well that's what he had told me, and the nurses just rolled their eyes when I asked. All I knew, apart from that time in the briefing room, is that I never saw him sit down and that he had fallen down a large hole off world.

I wasn't sure if I was pleased or not, but they had put Janet in charge of finding out what was wrong with me. I had the sneaking suspicion that they realized that she was the only one that could handle me and all other doctors didn't want to know.

I was bored, extremely bored, I wanted to get out there, travel, not be stuck in here, feeling like a pin cushion.

"Jack."

"Daniel." I replied to the newly arrived archaeologist.

"So, have they found anything yet?" he asked as he plonked himself down on the end of my bed, narrowly missing my feet.

I opened my mouth to reply.

"Yes, we have." Janet walked up to my bed and gave me a smile. "But first, I have a couple of questions."

"Shoot." She had asked so many questions, that I'd lost count, what's two more gonna hurt.

"Did you have any unusual dreams, while with the replicator, Sam?"

The heart monitor beside me began to speed up its beeping. Janet reached across and switched the sound off and then looked directly at me again.

I nodded. Suddenly, it all made sense and I leaned my head back against the pillows and closed my eyes. Those hadn't been nightmares; she had shoved her hand inside my head and rummaged around in there. No wonder she slowly remembered, it was as she retrieved the information. I must have groaned out loud, as I heard my name called persistently.

"Jack."

"Jack!"

"O'Neill!" Teal'c's booming voice penetrated my thoughts, so I opened my eyes.

For a second, I believe Daniel saw directly into my soul. He saw my pain and his worry turned into deep concern. I warned him off with a glare and turned to Janet.

"It must've messed with my head."

She nodded. "Well that's a relief, because if that hadn't happened I'd be worried about the readings we're getting. Hopefully, in a few days it will have dissipated."

A week later, with lots of pretending that I was fully healed, Janet let me go even though I knew she really didn't believe me. SG-1, consisting of myself, Daniel, Teal'c and Jonas stepped through the Stargate. I had to admit the security of the MALP preceding me did give my mind some relief. There were no splat thoughts as my molecules were pulled apart and shoved back together again.

The planet was beautiful. Large rolling green hills, blending in with each other as they spread as far as the eye could see.

"No trees?" I asked in surprise.

Teal'c ignored me and took point, a snort came from Daniel's direction and Jonas was fluffing around with something in his pocket.

Daniel and I followed Teal'c, he seemed to know where he was going. "Jonas, you coming?"

"Yup." He gave an apologetic smile and I waved him along in front of me as I brought along the rear.

I was missing my leather coat already; I had left it with one of the technicians, who loved to sew in her spare time. Hopefully, by the time I got back I would have it kitted out with straps, buckles and large pockets in the lining. I wanted to be able to walk around villages and towns without my weapons becoming too obvious to the inhabitants and also, leaving my hands free. Fortunately her father had been a tailor, one of those special tailors that made special suits for the CIA, FBI etc. So she had been taught by the best. Even though I was missing my coat, I was pleased to receive new clothing. My previous clothing had got a little ragged around the edges, plus my mending abilities hadn't been the best.

I stopped as something cold whisked past my ear. I carefully looked around behind me. I couldn't see anything. I continued walking, only to feel something brush past my leg. "Teal'c." I hissed.

He stopped and turned around. Catching my guarded look, he slowly turned in a circle scanning the scenery. Both Daniel and Jonas were also on alert. "There is nothing here, O'Neill."

"I know I felt something, Teal'c, just keep an eye out," I warned.

For the next two hours, nothing untoward happened. I knew I had not imagined it, but I couldn't explain it, so we just had to be extra vigilant.

As we walked down a small hill, I could feel the long grass swish past my boots and pant legs. Poking up amongst the grasses were little delicate purple flowers, at the harsh memory I violently looked away and stared up behind me. Just then I caught a movement amongst the grass.

"We've got company," I warned.

Teal'c nodded. He'd seen it too. Daniel had stopped and was pulling grass aside from a small mound. "I've found it, Jack," he called triumphantly.

How he'd decided that this particular mound out of all the others on the hillside was significant, I never did find out, as this mound looked like any other mound.

_2028_

_Maybe I should ask him sometime._

2007

He pulled out some sheets of paper and started to take rubbings off the ancient stones that he had managed to clean from dirt and grass. It didn't take him long as he stood up and announced. "I've got it."

"Anything else here, while we're here?" I asked, as the hairs on the back of my neck had started to do their merry dance. Something was definitely off about this place.

"Nope, this is it." He stood still after putting the paper and his notebook away in his pack, looking rather pleased with himself.

"Argh!" I heard a cry from behind me. Twisting around on one spot with my P-90 armed and ready I saw Jonas being lifted up by an invisible force into the air about three feet off the ground. Not sure what I was aiming at, I fired at the air above him.

_2028_

_"For once, Daniel your timing is perfect. How's it going?"_

_"Fine, Jack. You feeling all right? You seem happy."_

_"Sit down, Daniel, I have a question for you."_

_"Okay. Fire away."_

_"On planet PX-974 how did you find that mound with all the writing on it?"_

_"Huh?"_

_"You know on that planet with the honking big bugs, how did you find those writings?"_

"_I have no idea what you are talking about, Jack."_

_"Now you know how I feel, half the time you're talking then."_

_"Okay, what year?"_

"_2007, it was our first mission with you, me, Teal'c and Jonas. Remember?"_

"_Ermmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm."_

"_Daniel!"_

"_What?"_

"_It's just a simple question."_

"_Nothing about you is simple, Jack. On the other hand." _

"_Daniel."_

"_I could just leave, Jack."_

"_Daniel!"_

"_Okay, okay, don't get yourself in a knot. We sent out an UAV, first it found the mound as it gave out energy readings and it tagged the spot, and we just followed the signal until we found it."_

"_Oh… and why didn't I know this?"_

"_Because, Jack, you never listen to me when I give my reports at briefings.'_

"_Well, thank you for clearing that up, Daniel. Now you can go, I'm busy."_

"_Oh, no, Jack O'Neill, Janet told me to drag you out of here, kicking and screaming if need be."_

"_You drag me? Don't make me laugh… or give me that look. Okay, I'm coming."_

_DISCLAIMER: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions and Gekko Productions. This story has been written for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations and story are the property of the authors._


	26. Chapter 26

**Memoirs of Brigadier General Jack O'Neill**

(Retired)

**Part VII**

**Chapter Four**

2007

I heard an unearthly screeching sound and watched helplessly as Jonas rose ten feet in the air. By the time the bullets I shot at the invisible creature had taken effect, Jonas had plummeted to the ground. I raced toward him as he lay face up on the side of the hill. Suddenly, great globs of thick, black substance fell down from the sky, coating both Jonas and myself. It had treacle-like consistency, restricting my movements. Teal'c reached Jonas first. Tearing out tufts of grass, he used them to clean an area off Jonas' neck and face and felt for a pulse.

"He is breathing "O'Neill. We must get to the Stargate as soon as possible."

Following Teal'c's example, I too tore great wads of grass up by the roots and scraped as much of the stuff I could off me.

Teal'c hefted Jonas into a fireman's lift and started up the hill, Daniel following closely behind. I on the other hand, found myself struggling as the sticky goo began to harden. However hard I tried, I couldn't move one arm.

"Daniel!" I called in desperation.

He turned back and ran down the hill towards me.

"This stuff it's starting to set. You have to get it off Jonas before it hardens. Don't worry about me. I will try to get it off myself." He hesitated. "Go!" I ordered. He turned immediately and raced up the hill after Teal'c.

I followed him, unbuckling my vest and P-90, which was useless, because the goo had gone down the barrel. I pulled my jacket off and then tried to peel the black-coated sleeve down my arm. I observed that Teal'c had stopped and was busily washing Jonas' face. Pleased that my hat had taken the brunt of the black goo, I threw it onto the ground with my jacket. Pulling out my water bottle I soaked a bandana with water and swiped it across any skin where I could feel the thick stuff drying. By the time I'd finished, I'd reached the other three, and Jonas was coming around.

"What was that?" He sat up slowly. "What are you doing, Teal'c?" he asked incredulously.

I was breathing hard as I approached. "That stuff hardens on you so you can't move. I don't know if it will ever come off. We don't want it on our skin." I leaned my hands on my knees while I caught my breath.

"O'Neill, I think we should get out of here."

"Yes, Teal'c. Jonas, can you run, walk, hobble, whatever?"

With an affirmative nod, he stood up. His skin was grey where the alien substance hadn't completely been removed. Just as we moved, another blob of stuff fell behind us. Uh oh, either they were really big birds that liked to crap on their prey, or this was a snare tactics. Either way, I didn't want to find out.

Fortunately, we only got deluged with the stuff twice after that first hit. What had been silent skies when we'd first arrived were now filled with screeching caws that made fingernails on the blackboard seem like a lullaby. Daniel reached the DHD first and started to punch in our co-ordinates. The MALP was totally unrecognizable as the creatures had obviously been using it as target practice. All we could see was a large black shiny mound with a small antenna poking out the top. The Stargate burst into life.

"O'Neill!" Came a strangled cry from Teal'c.

Spinning around on one foot, Teal'c was staring at the sky, I followed suit. My jaw dropped at the sight. The sky was black with honking great bugs shutting out the sun. Other bugs we had come in contact with in the past didn't have a patch on these guys.

"Run!" I yelled, hoping that the SGC had acknowledged the GDO signal. I decided that I would rather go splat than be splatted by these bugs.

Daniel went through first, helping Jonas. I pushed Teal'c through before following just as one of the bugs made a bee line for us. As I landed heavily on the ramp, I yelled.

"SHUT THE IR…"

Something heavy landed on me and everything went black.

Once again I awakened in the infirmary. I moved and multiple shooting pains went through my torso. I groaned.

"General O'Neill." I wasn't the only one for whom old habits die hard.

I blearily opened my eyes and stared up at one of the nurses. "Retired general." My throat was dry and I coughed.

"You're in the infirmary," she told me unnecessarily.

"What happened?"

A paper cup appeared in front of me with a straw extended. I took a sip and felt the cooling water slide down my parched throat.

"Jonas?" I started to panic and tried to sit up.

"Sh . . . General, you must stay still."

Just then, I heard a commotion in the hallway, and then the clomping of boots as several pairs walked across the floor. In the boots were, Teal'c, Daniel, thankfully Jonas, and General Matthews. They stood by my bed and stared at me. There was a shuffling and they moved out the way as a rather irate petite doctor pushed her way through.

"Jack. How do you feel?"

"Sore, Janet." I stared at the four men. "I ask again, what happened?"

No one seemed to want to give me an answer. I had to admit I was pleased to see that Jonas was none the worse for wear after his experiences.

"The iris didn't close in time." I stared at Daniel.

"Ya think!" I retorted. And waited for the rest of the explanation, when it didn't come, I continued. "How did you kill it?" I waited. "You didn't kill it." I tried to sit up, alarmed.

"You killed it, Mister O'Neill." I looked over at Matthews. "Well, indirectly you did," he added.

I still didn't have a clue what he was talking about.

"It was so big, that when the iris shut it sort of chopped it in half." I glared at Jonas, as he had started his 'sort of' comments again.

"Oh." I looked up at the ceiling and smiled. Then that awful sinking feeling hit me. "How much got through?"

"Enough to break three of your ribs give you concussion and sprain your wrist, Jack," Janet informed me.

I groaned again and then closed my eyes. Oh joy, not only does the Stargate chuck me through its doors, but throws things at me now. I kept my eyes firmly shut until everyone had gone. I thought they had gone, but when I opened them again, Daniel was sitting on a chair, reading a large tome.

"Daniel."

"Huh? Jack, you're awake."

"No, Daniel, you're just dreaming. Of course, I'm awake. Help me sit up wil'ya?"

He cranked up the bed and then pulled a load of pillows off the spare beds and shoved them, not too gently I might add, behind my head.

"Janet's losing her touch," I said looking pointedly at the infirmary clock on the wall.

"She's gone home."

"Ah. That explains it."

Daniel grinned.

"So, Daniel, I'll listen, explain all."

He grabbed a plastic cup of water and handed it to me, it was like nectar as it soothed my irritated throat.

"As General Hammond said before he left, that we're under-"

"Left? When did he leave?"

"While we were off world, you knew that, I mentioned it at the briefi- Oh." Daniel thumped the heel of his hand against his forehead. "That was after you passed out. That was when Hammond filled the rest of us in. Didn't he tell you?"

"Tell me what?" I queried, my head beginning to hurt at the confusion.

"Okay, I'll start at the beginning. Baal is making threats towards Earth, using Anubis' weapons etc. The power source was depleted by the team we sent to the Pegasus Galaxy, remember?"

"I may be older than you, Daniel, but I'm not senile." _'Yet.'_

"Anyway," he continued, totally ignoring my irritability. "We need better defenses; this is why we need this cache of weapons."

I nodded, "I've got you so far."

"General Hammond has gone back to the Pentagon, hopefully, to try and increase funding, so we can go after these weapons, now that we have the address. General Matthews is a good man, Jack. He was in one of the lead X-302's in Antarctica. He single-handedly destroyed fifteen death gliders."

I sighed. "Daniel, you don't have to praise Matthews to me. I can see what kind of man he is. I've met others just like him, in fact, I see someone like him every time I look in the mirror, well a few years ago maybe, before-" Realizing what I was just about to say, I stopped myself, but Daniel knowing me better than most people, read my mind.

"Charlie."

I winced. "Have you got word to Jacob about the replicators yet?" I asked to change the subject.

"Not particularly Jacob, but we have got word to the Tok'ra and the rebel Jaffa too. She could use anyone that knew Sam personally to get through our defenses."

He opened his mouth to ask something about the replicators, but I sidetracked him with another question. "What did the doc say about me getting out of here?"

He shrugged his shoulders. "Who knows, depends on how quickly you heal."

As he spoke the answer came walking through the doorway. The resident doctor came up to my bed.

"General O'Neill, I see you're awake." He circled the bed, checking the monitors, my pulse and my IV. "You need a fresh shunt, this one isn't working anymore." I looked down at the tube that was attached to the back of my hand and noticed red blood had backtracked up the tube. "General O'Neill you really mustn't wave your arm around. We only have this arm to put these into and you don't want one in your foot now do you?"

I rolled my eyes at Daniel, who stifled a giggle. Been there, done that, bought the T-shirt.

"No, Doctor," I replied, parroting his condescending voice.

Either he hadn't heard me or he was just ignoring me, because he continued talking in the same way. Perhaps my reputation for being ornery preceded me.

"Do you feel up to eating something? I can get the commissary to send something up." I gave Daniel a helpless look, he replied with a small nod.

"No, thank you, Doctor," I replied and gave him my best smile.

He smiled back and walked from the room. Apparently, Janet hadn't warned him enough. I looked at Daniel, "how long?"

"I'd say about an hour. Can you wait that long?"

"Yup. I haven't had pizza in, oh . . ." I gazed up at the ceiling as I did the math. "Two years, three months, what's the date?" I asked.

He grinned and stood up. "See you in an hour, Jack," and walked out the room.

Janet was going to kill him. I couldn't help smiling to myself at the thought.

I knocked on Mathews' opened door before stepping into his office.

"Hello, O'Neill." He smiled. "Take a seat."

I stayed standing. "I don't need a shrink, General Mathews."

"Sit down," he ordered.

I sat down.

"From what you've told me, you need to see Doctor Mackenzie. I am one hundred percent positive you have only told me a small part of what has happened to you off world." I stared at him, revealing nothing. "You have been putting this off for six weeks now and I'm not letting you off this base until you've seen him."

"Off the base as in off world?" I asked. The feeling of being trapped came over me.

He looked surprised. "No, I meant out of the mountain, but does this mean that you want back out there?" He asked waving an arm towards the Stargate.

"Yes," I answered.

"I don't think this would be a good idea. I could stop you. You do realize this?"

I nodded. "Daniel said that you won't let him pursue his findings from the planet PX-267. I asked, changing the subject.

"No, it's not me, but the Pentagon. General Hammond can't get anywhere either. Aside from that, you know he won't sell them to us and he won't accept our horses, they have to be this man Neeron's horses, no one else's. And on top of that, we can't spare the man power either." He leaned back into his chair. "We need Doctor Jackson elsewhere and you're changing the subject," he accused.

"I'll go," I said.

He looked up at me surprised. "You'll go and see Doctor Mackenzie?"

Deciding not to ruin my reputation, I answered, "No to get the horses. And I know the address; it is number twenty-three on my list." I grinned confidently.

"I'll let you know, Mister O'Neill."

I knew that tone of voice, I was being dismissed. I stood up to leave. "General, I need to get out there, not be stuck in here." I spoke quietly.

His reply was a single nod.

The following day, Teal'c and I were sparring in the gym. Every so often, Daniel would stop lifting his weights and watch us. Waiting for an importunate moment, he would add his thoughts to the matter of me going off world again.

"So, you're really going?"

"Yes, Daniel," I said as I picked myself up off the floor. I faced Teal'c, raised my gloves and waited for the chance to actually hit him.

"Oomph!"

"O'Neill, you are soft."

Instead of clambering up, I jumped to my feet. Ignoring Daniel's grin at Teal'c's goading, I blocked a punch with my right arm, shot in with an upper cut with my left. Teal'c barely flinched as I made contact.

"You were saying, Teal'c," I smirked.

"I retract my previous comment." He bowed his head slightly.

I dropped to a crouch and started to circle Teal'c.

One eyebrow rose. "I do not recognize this maneuver in the sport of boxing, O'Neill?"

I grinned. All I needed was a short sword. Teal'c mimicked my movements and we slowly circled waiting to see who would move first. The phone rang.

"Er . . ." Daniel lifted one hand in the air. "I'll get that shall I?" I could see him walking to the phone on the wall out the corner of my eye. "Jack, General Mathews wants to see you in his office."

Three days later, I was packed and ready to go. Fraiser had given me the all clear. All my injuries were healed and I had spent my obligatory three hours of wasted time with the shrink. I had insisted it wasn't to be Mackenzie though. That man still grated on my nerves, but then all shrinks did. At least the shrink I did have to go to was easier on the eyes, and in fact, I had an appointment to see her again when I returned.

Daniel was jabbering to me while we walked along the corridors of the SGC.

"Remember, Jack, Neeron mustn't know who the horses are for. Mungoon has wanted a breeding pair of Neeron's horses for years, but Neeron won't sell to him. Mungoon has tried, but Neeron knows all of his friends."

I stopped walking. Daniel still prattling took three steps before stopping and turning back. He frowned and peered at me through his glasses.

"Why?" I asked.

"Why what?" he asked back

"Why won't Neeron sell his horses? Or maybe this Mongoose character mistreats animals," I answered my own question.

"Didn't you read my report?" Daniel asked.

I grimaced and admitted grudgingly, "I skimmed over it, yes."

We continued walking along the corridor to the gate room. Daniel filled me in on the bits I must have missed.

"Apparently, Neeron and Mongoon were friends and they had a falling out over a business transaction many years ago. I think twenty years was mentioned. Anyway Neeron's horses are legendary and are excellent farm horses, and Mongoon wants some to work his land. We offered him the latest state of the art tractors, fuel and maintenance included,-."

"Yeah, I read that bit," I interjected.

Daniel continued as if I hadn't even spoken. "But he turned us down flat, he said the horses he has are sufficient, he just – well – basically wants one over on Neeron."

"What do you think you will find in the ancient building on Mongoose's land?" I asked.

I saw Daniel roll his eyes but he refrained from correcting me.

"We think it's a cache of weapons, but it could be a ZPM or some other ancient technology. But from what the writings said on PX-267, it is something important and maybe of great use to us to defend Earth."

I cringed inside at the memory of the flying bugs that nearly ended my life.

We walked into the gate room, just as the kawoosh of the Stargate retracted and settled into the flat vertical surface.

Matthews and Teal'c were standing waiting for us. Siler walked in just behind me and handed me my long black leather coat that Teal'c had given me. I shrugged it on, placing all my weapons into the harness and pockets that had been sewn into the lining. This kept my hands free and you couldn't tell that I was armed.

Next, Siler handed me my pack. "Whoa, this is heavy, Siler."

"Yes, sir," he replied.

I knew it was going to be heavy, but I had hoped not quite this heavy. Although I shouldn't have been surprised as I knew it was going to weigh at least thirty-five pounds. It was full of pieces of gold, each weighing half an ounce. There were five hundred of them. I just hoped Neeron lived close to the Stargate.

As always, I hate long goodbyes. I nodded to General Matthews, shook Daniel's hand and then gave a small incline of my head to Teal'c. He followed suit.

I started to walk up the ramp. "O'Neill, you must teach me the new fighting skill," Teal'c said.

I stopped, turned around and faced him. "I will, T, as soon as I get back," I promised.

Turning around again, I faced the open wormhole and without looking back, I marched straight up the ramp and through the waiting doorway.

_DISCLAIMER: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions and Gekko Productions. This story has been written for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations and story are the property of the authors._


	27. Chapter 27

**Memoirs of Brigadier General Jack O'Neill**

(Retired)

**Part VIII**

**Chapter One**

2007

At least I knew there was no chance of being splatted on the other side of this gate as I was going to a well known trading planet. It was amazing; people filled the city streets as they went about their different ways. I received a few bored glances before they continued shopping. I had walked slap bang into the middle of market day. It was hot, and even after all these years, you would have thought I'd gotten used to the lack of deodorant, but these guys took the cake. Hot weather, combined with dust, and lots of people didn't help to reduce the stink. I walked out through the safety barrier and joined the throng. As I suspected, the barrier was to stop anyone from accidentally being disintegrated by the vortex as it opened.

Only a few seconds after I pushed my way through a group of traders, I could hear the familiar grinding of the Stargate as a fellow traveler dialed this address. I was silently relieved that I hadn't tarried within the barrier any longer.

I removed my leather coat, my jacket, my sweatshirt, but stopped there, as I was receiving curious glances. I needn't have worried because when I turned the next corner I could see up on a high dais, a small group of men and women scantily clad, in chains. It didn't look like they only traded in horses here. I'd better watch out.

I moved through to the livestock area, not hard to find because I could hear the animals creating a din. I walked over to the area where they had horses to inquire about Neeron.

"Excuse me, but do you know who Neeron is?"

"Then se katalaveno. Ti less?"

Thank goodness he was speaking in a language I sort of understood because he didn't seem to understand me.

"O Neeron, o ippopoolittiss, poo inne?" I repeated my question in Greek.

He waved his hands and arms around and shook his head and pointed out of the city. Maybe I didn't understand Greek as well as I thought, so I tried again.

"Pes moo, poo inne o Neeron?"

"Then inne etho. Epiye pisso sto spitti."

I mentally groaned and wondered when the thaw was going to happen, as it seemed like mid-summer at the moment. There was no way I could wait that long for him to arrive here at the markets.

I proceeded to try and find out where he was and how to get there. The news was not good. Four or more weeks travel to get to his estate._ 'Oh Joy.'_

After haggling in the market for supplies, I found out that I needed some papers to say who I was and that I was from another planet. It didn't take long to find the correct office to, once again, purchase, a piece of paper to prove who I was and yet another to let me back through the Stargate. Finally, after what seemed several wasted hours, I started my trek.

The scenery was pleasant to look at, rolling hills, with long grass waving in the breeze dried to a golden colour by the sun. There were many streams that flowed in and out of the hills. On the third day I decided to follow one into the hills.

It was a stream that bubbled over pebbles and rocks as it meandered through the green pastures. I sat down on a small hillock and pulled out the last of my bread. Kept any longer it would start growing penicillin. Too late, I saw a few white patches on part of the crust. At least I could cut those bits out and eat the rest. If I had lit a fire, I would have toasted the bread and not even bothered to cut them out. After a while when traveling, you tend to not mind what you ate. You just ate what you had when you had it and were thankful. A few birds hopped down and picked up the few small crumbs that I had removed from the stale bread. It was weird that sometimes, on some planets sparrows lived. The good old London sparrow, way out here - thousands of light years away.

It was hot, so I dragged off my coat again, rolled it up and used it as a pillow. The P-90 and the zat caused a crick in my neck but, at least my handgun didn't as I'd removed that first and slid it under the small of my back. I pulled my cap over my eyes and slowly drifted off to sleep to the sound of birds singing and the brook dancing its way over the rocks.

I woke with a start; I could hear horse's hooves and the jangle of bits and bridles. Cautiously, I rolled over onto my hands and knees and slowly peered around a large rock. I had only been asleep for about an hour I noticed as I glanced at my watch. I couldn't see them, but I could hear voices. I pushed my coat and my pack under the large rock into a small crevice. I stood up, tucking my handgun in the back of the waistband of my pants and pulled my short jacket over to cover it. Moving swiftly, I ducked around the large boulders and quietly clambered to the top of one, so I could check out the travelers. Fifteen men were setting up camp; they were swarthy and rough shaven, nothing like the men of the city I had left three days ago. Their horses were tethered nearby, and I watched while two of the men tended the horses. Something was not right, but I couldn't put my finger on it. The answer to my puzzle came two seconds later when I felt cold metal against my throat.

"Yirrisse yirro, siya siya."

"Turning, slowly," I repeated. I turned around to face my captor; it was one of two men who looked like they were part of the band that I'd been watching below me. Then I realized what was wrong. There had been seventeen horses, but only fifteen men. These were two extra men, guards that I hadn't accounted for. What on Earth had I been thinking?

"Stand up," he ordered, jabbing his long spear at my midriff.

He spoke in the universal language.

"I was just being nosey, no harm intended." I gave my innocent bystander smile, but it didn't work. He lifted the spear shaft and whacked me across the head with it.

I woke up, found I was hogtied, gagged and had a pounding headache – not necessarily in that order. And, to make matters worse, I was downwind from the very smoky fire that they'd built. Trying to cough with a gag stuffed in your mouth isn't very easy, and to add my misery, my eyes began to tear up. Of course, as anyone knows, if your eyes start to water, your nose follows suit. I hoped my nose wouldn't clog up before I tried to spit the gag from my mouth, but all I managed to do was draw their attention.

Loud, drunken laughter filled the small space as they pointed at me wriggling around. They began to walk towards me. I wondered if asphyxiation would have been better than what they had in mind. I stopped moving and watched them through blinking eyes. One of them grabbed me by my hair and yanked back my head, then laughed in my face. _'Yes, asphyxiation by smoke is heaps better than his breath.' _I tried to pull away, but that didn't work. He reached down and untied my feet and hands; I quickly pulled out the gag and started coughing, then swiped my tear-streaked face with my sleeve. They thought I was scared and crying. It was about time they found out that it wasn't the case.

From my bent over position, I brought back my right hand, bunching it into a fist, and put all my power into the punch. Taking him by surprise, he went down with a hard thump. I felt arms grab me from behind and pull me into a chokehold. Bringing down an elbow I dug it into his solar plexus, spun around and kicked out at the next man that came at me. As soon as I knocked them down, they seemed to bounce right back up and come at me again. I slipped my hand around to the small of my back. It was gone.

"Are you looking for this?" A small boned man walked up to me and dangled my handgun in front of my face. He was obviously the leader. The brigands stood still and waited to see what he would do next. "He's all yours." He waved his hand idly in my direction and wandered away checking out my lost weapon.

I could feel them closing in on me, "You guys had a bad day?" I asked, not sure whether to bait them or just take it quietly. I'd managed to take out three of them before they knocked me to the ground. I have to admit fighting thirteen, thankfully not all seventeen, men is not easy. The number wouldn't have made any difference I was bound to lose.

Every muscle, bone, sinew, hair and cell hurt. In fact, the whole of me throbbed in time to the pounding that bounced in my head. I tried to open my eyes, but only one would co-operate and even that one was struggling. They had tied my wrists together, I have no idea why, as one was swollen and I couldn't move it anyway. I just hoped it wasn't broken. I tried to move my feet, but they were tied too. I glanced down and could see they were fastened to a large stake in the ground near where the horses were tethered. The firelight flickered over the strewn bodies that lay haphazardly around the dying fire. They had drunk themselves into a stupor. I wasn't sure how many were there as my vision was a little hazy. I shifted to try and get more comfortable, but all I did was let out an involuntary groan and stay right where I was.

I heard footfalls as someone approached.

"This is an interesting weapon; I don't think I have seen anything like this before. Where did you get it?"

It was the head honcho. He had squatted down beside my head, turning my handgun over and over in his hands.

My answer was a groan.

He put the gun to use and clipped me around the ear. "Argh."

"I asked a question, I expect an answer."

"Don't know, traded it," I rasped out through my swollen lips. I felt fresh blood dribble down my chin as the movement reopened my split lip.

"Where are the rest of the metal balls that come out the end?" he asked.

"In it." I coughed as my raw throat protested with its use.

"Not anymore. It is a good weapon, but useless without them." He threw it down not far from me then started to walk away. He stopped, turned around and stood over me. "You gave my boys a good work out. They needed something because they didn't do well in the raid today. So this time I am going to let you go." He squatted down beside me again. "But if I come across you again, don't expect to live," he hissed in my ear. He straightened and I didn't even see it coming. He booted me in me in my stomach I curled into a ball instinctively to protect myself from more harm, but that seemed to be all he needed to do because I heard his footfalls fading as he walked away.

2008

I was lying on something soft, but there was something very heavy on me and when I moved everything hurt.

"Hush… Min koonithiss. Pyess tora."

I felt a cup placed against my mouth and I started to gulp the precious cool water down, but before I had nearly enough it was taken away from me. I let out a small uncontrolled cry at the absence of the liquid.

"Teliosse."

I woke with a start and found myself sitting bolt upright in bed. Pain shot through my shoulder and wrist and my head increased its thumping. I reached up with my good hand and felt my head, and found bandages were wrapped around it and over my left eye. I looked around the room, it was dark and small and I was on a low flat bed. I pulled myself up against the wall behind me and leaned back. It was at that stage I realized I wasn't wearing anything, so I dragged the top cover to my chest. Beside me on the floor were a pitcher and a tin cup. Carefully I reached over and picked the cup up and took a sip. It didn't taste very nice, but then I had learned by now that most things that tasted horrible off world were usually good for you, especially if you were injured or sick. The thumping in my head began to abate as I sipped the liquid. I had already checked for my watch, but it wasn't on my wrist. I thought about getting up, but, then again, without clothes there was no question, I would be staying.

"Herretismata." A small, wizened old woman hobbled into my room. In her arms were my clothes, _'bless her.' _And a few of my things were balanced on top of them. She carefully placed them down on the floor beside the pitcher. Leaning forwards, she peered into my cup, tutted and removed it from me.

"Hey," I protested, I was feeling no pain and abnormally happy.

She shook her head at me and frowned. Taking the pitcher and cup with her she bustled from the room. I was very sorry to see the cup and its contents go, but pleased to see her go. I snatched up my watch from the top of my clothes. Thankfully, it was still in one piece and didn't seem as though anyone had fiddled with it.

According to my watch, I had been asleep, unconscious or whatever for only twenty-four hours. This puzzled me, as I knew I had been injured far worse than I felt. The swelling had gone down on my left wrist, though it still was painful to move. Bruises had faded on my torso as well as my arms and legs. Maybe someone had fiddled with my watch after all. I got dressed, feeling so dizzy at times that I had to stop and sit down for a while. I also noticed the pounding in my head had returned and I needed more of whatever had been in that tin cup. I stuck my watch in my pocket and opened the door. The ache in my shoulder had returned, so I supported my arm with my other hand while I looked around the interior of a small inn.

Just then a large bumbling man trotted into the room carrying a large tray covered with bowls, tankards and utensils. He noticed me straight away and stopped walking to put the tray down on one of the tables.

"Vleppo pos ehis zipnissi tora."

"A little stiff," I replied in English.

He smiled. "Ah you speak the universal language." This will make it easier.

"Where am I?" I asked.

"A small village called 'Leocold' and my name is Leocold." He held out his arm to clasp my forearm. I was thankful that it was my undamaged right arm that he grasped tightly. "Yeah, yeah," he continued good naturedly, "I know, named after a town." He rolled his eyes and walked away still grinning.

"My name is Jack O'Neill," I called after him. "What happened, how come I'm here and what's with this?" I pointed down at my quickly healed injuries.

"My mother will explain all," he chirped while he placed large tankards on their hooks.

As he was obviously busy, I took the time to look around the room. It was dingy and dark, even though it was broad daylight outside. The dark brown wooden paneled walls and beams most probably didn't help nor the small windows. Large beaten copper platters adorned the walls, some depicting scenes of cottages and hills, but most were of battle scenes.

Soon the little wizened old woman came into the room clutching the ears of two youths. She was haranguing them with her tongue in a dialect of Greek that I didn't understand. She seated them opposite me and spoke harshly to them both, giving them a slap upside their heads to make her point. Leocold was chuckling in the background. As the two young teenagers pulled out objects from their pockets I understood the old woman's anger. Leocold's chuckling stopped at about the same time my heart went cold when the elder of the two boys placed my handgun on the table. Leocold walked up to stand behind the two miscreants and folded his arms across his chest. Accompanying my handgun were my dog tags, compass and a few universal coins that had been in my pockets. How the bandits had missed those I didn't know, but these two youths had found them.

I could see that they were in deep trouble and hopefully had learned their lesson. Instead of causing them more trouble, I decided to give them a break. After all, they'd saved my life.

"Thank you for keeping them safe for me," I said. Their shoulders relax.

One of the boys, the older one, replied. "We found you tied up in the hills and brought you back here."

"Then I am in your debt," I replied.

They quickly looked at the old woman and glanced at Leocold. "Father?" they asked. He nodded and they shot out the room like two scared rabbits.

The pounding in my head came back in full force. I spotted the same tin cup that had been in my room earlier. The deep purple flower painted on the side making it distinctive. I reached over to retrieve it hoping that there would be more of that medicine to kill the pain. A sharp sting shot across my knuckles as a switch was swiped across them. "Ow!" I exclaimed, pulling my hand back.

The wielder of the switch quickly retrieved the cup all the time glaring at me. She watched me carefully as she took it up to the counter and locked it into a small cupboard.

"Leocold?" she called her son over to sit opposite me. I was confused and the pain in my head had increased its intensity.

She prattled in her dialect which I couldn't follow. I watched perturbed as Leocold's face turned from jovial to extremely grave. My nervousness increased as he kept glancing at me and frowning. Then she stopped talking and looked at her hands while Leocold explained what was happening to me.

"Jack O'Neill, my mother and I have done you a great disservice and we apologize for what is to become."

Now I was definitely worried. "What do you mean?" I watched warily for the answer.

"You must listen and not interrupt as we do not have much time. Earlier in your room, mother left the juice of the lewberries and you drank it all. You shouldn't have." He held up his hand to stop my protests of un-culpability. "It wasn't your fault, you were not to know. It is a very addictive strong medicine, used only for external injuries. Just sometimes for head injuries or things that are damaged inside, "he pointed to my abdomen, "where a very few sips are administered. If we don't purge your body of this poison now, you will never rid yourself of its pull. Then you will eventually become mad like those bandits that attacked you."

My blood ran cold. The words, addictive and mad didn't go down well and purging didn't exactly fill me with any joy either.

"Mother, looks after the local addicts, every so often they wish to be rid of this curse and come for help, but, sadly, they go back to their old ways." I blinked my eye to clear its fuzzy vision. "Come. It is starting already, I can see."

He led me down a long corridor and then down some cold stone steps. During this journey all I wanted to do was race back up the stairs, smash open the little cupboard and retrieve that tin cup. It had already started to take hold of me. It took all my willpower to resist the urge knowing that it would only be a temporary relief to my pain and craving.

My questions about my healed injuries and my patched up eye would have to wait. He led me into a spacious room. All the walls were coated with springy dull green matting and over in the corner was a hole. By the odor I assumed it was the latrine.

I was asked politely, to remove boots, socks, jacket, shirt, my watch, and my newly returned dog tags. When it came to my pants, I resisted, the politeness disappeared, but I still won. I got the impression that if the old woman was any taller my ears would've been soundly boxed.

They pushed me down to sit on the floor, while she bound up my torso, collecting my damaged wrist in the process. She crossed it over my chest so I couldn't move it, and then rechecked my eye bandage to make sure it was secure. I wanted to ask why, but I was beginning to feel sleepy and couldn't be bothered to ask what was happening. 

Leocold crouched down beside me. "Jack O'Neill, whatever happens remember, I will not be far away. When you are lucid, which will come, use the facilities, don't wait." He pointed to the hole in the ground. "I'm sorry, Jack O'Neill."

"How long?" I managed to ask in a raspy tired voice.

I couldn't see his expression, but by his body language I could tell he was in a quandary. "Long enough, Jack O'Neill, long enough," he repeated. Then he shut the door.

It was quiet as I stood up and walked over to the closed door. I couldn't find a handle and if I hadn't just seen him go through I would have thought it was just a wall. Skylights were set up high into the top of the walls that let in the daylight. Remembering what Leocold had said, I investigated the latrine. When I had finished I walked back to one of the walls and leaned back and closed my one eye.

_DISCLAIMER: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions and Gekko Productions. This story has been written for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations and story are the property of the authors._

© Arrietty 2005


	28. Chapter 32

**MEMOIRS OF**

**BRIGADIER GENERAL JACK O'NEILL**

(Retired)

**Part VIII**

**Chapter Two**

By Arrietty

2008

I barely made it to the hole in time as I puked my guts out. There was no water to wash out my mouth or to settle my stomach. The pounding in my head had increased to a stage that I had to hold it as I vomited. My hand hurt, looking at it I could see skin had smeared off the knuckles and blood had dried on them and around my torn fingernails. I could hear the dawn chorus of birds singing. It was now the following morning. I couldn't remember much of the past twenty-four hours, and then it came to me all in a rush, sending me back to the hole, emptying what stomach juices I had left.

I staggered back from the hole remembering how I had become demented, screaming out to people, scrabbling and clawing with my hands at the wall, trying to get through. When the pain in my head became too much, I had bashed it repeatedly against the wall trying to stop the intense pain. I tried unsuccessfully to shut my mind to the hallucinations that had attacked my vision. I dragged myself into the center of the room, curled up into a ball and began to feel the madness and craving to creep upon me again.

I awoke to see Leocold and his two young sons standing by as the old lady drip fed me water. At first, I was lucid, and then I started to plead to leave this hellhole. That was when Leocold and his sons had to hold me down. Slowly the life-giving water began to relieve my raw throat. Then they left me. I staggered to the door, screaming at them to let me have the drug, only to crumple down into a heap on the floor sobbing as the pain wracked my body.

_"Jack you okay?"_

"_Sam? No, I'm not. You have to get me out of here."_

"_I will as soon as you tell me where the Lost City is." Her eyes glowed, before she faded from view._

"_Sam!"_

_The bandits were kicking and screaming at me in their foreign language, I could see the deranged faces of my friends, Daniel, Teal'c, George and Sam as they kicked and punched me. Eimon was there with a large flaming sword. He held it high above his head and brought it down towards me, right down onto my head. Pain exploded in my skull and I fell sobbing onto the floor. _

The pain was gone from my head. That persistent excruciating throbbing had gone. I opened one eye. There was a flash of light and a different pain spiked into my head. I groaned as I rolled over onto my back. It was dark, but I saw a few stars twinkling through the skylights. Thoughts drifted through my tired mind, comforting thoughts of my team and memories of successful missions. Not wanting to move, I drifted off into a dreamless sleep.

I awoke to the sound of 'tutting'. I could feel gentle hands unwrapping the bandage from my head. I opened my eye to see 'Mother' frowning as she worked. I looked around the room, no sign of Leocold or his sons. I began to panic as I didn't want to hurt this kind woman.

"Shush." She smiled. "Over, finished," she assured me.

I relaxed and let her continue with what she was doing.

"Greetings, Jack O'Neill," boomed Leocold and I flinched at the loud sound. He bent over me and gave me a kind smile.

I watched him dump a large steaming bucket on the floor and plop a mop in it. By the acrid smell of vomit and urine that pervaded the room, I could understand the reason for the cleaning gear. I assumed it was for the room, and I hoped it wasn't for me, not that I didn't need something like a good hose down.

The old lady started to cut the bandages from my torso releasing my arm from its prison. When she started on my pants I protested, not very strongly I might add as I felt as weak as a newborn kitten.

"Jack O'Neill." Leocold bent down beside me. "They are filthy."

I nodded and shut my eye and, thankfully, drifted off to sleep.

I could hear quiet voices muttering beside me. "Jack O'Neill. Wake up." The old lady held a cup of water to my lips and the water tasted wonderful as it rolled down my raw and parched throat. Leocold was standing the other side of the bed and his two sons came walking into the room. One of them carried in his hand the tin cup with the purple flower on the side.

I shook my head. "No!" My desperate voice sounded raspy in my dry throat. I found strength that earlier had eluded me and scooted up against he wall away from them and the cup.

Mother smiled and then said something totally incomprehensible and then Leocold translated, ending with a loud cheer that hurt my head. "You're cured. Yar!" So that's why the extra muscle, just in case I went berserk and grabbed for the drug.

They left the old woman to finish tending to my injuries. It was then I noticed I was clean; this I was grateful for and slid back down the bed feeling relaxed. I watched kind mother dump a small piece of moss like substance into the cup. She carefully unwound the bandage from my head and placed some of the dampened moss over my closed eyelid and then bandaged it back up again. She smiled, picked up her things and left.

Looking down at my body, I could see fresh bruises and grazed skin. Mainly the grazes were on my hands and my knees. I heard some doors opening and a waft of cooking smells drifted down the hallway. My door opened, two hands holding a tray, Leocold's beaming face, followed by the rest of him.

"Here's some Kakavia for you. Nothing substantial I'm afraid, not until tomorrow." He settled the tray onto my lap. A single tankard sat in the center, steam rising from inside. A clear fluid had slurped over the side of the tankard as he'd set it down. It looked like soup to me, and it certainly smelt like soup. "I thought you would find it easier to drink it like this." He then sat down on the chair. We stayed silent for quite a while as I sipped the hot soup.

"Who is Sam?" he asked. My tankard paused momentarily on the way to my mouth then I continued to take the sip. "He or, I suspect, she, is someone special?"

"Not anymore," I growled, "She's dead."

"Thought so." He let out a puff of breath, leaned his hands on his knees and stood up. "You sleep. I'll be back when the patrons have gone." He took the empty tankard and tray and left the room.

Too tired to even try and work out what all that was about, I slid down the bed and as I fell asleep realized that I was in a different room to the one that I had first been in. Thoughts of Alice in Wonderland and the Mad Hatter's tea party flitted through my head as I drifted off to sleep.

I was surprised at how quickly I bounced back after my bout of madness. It took two days before I could keep anything solid down, but, at least, they had moved me back to my original room. This way I could hear the noisy laughter and chatter that came from the patrons of the inn. I didn't feel so alone then. After a week I was beginning to potter around the Inn and helped Leocold with his chores. I found I enjoyed the simple domestic lifestyle that he had. It made things feel normal in my very abnormal life.

After two weeks I was fit and well enough to retrieve my things. I asked the younger son to show me where he had found me. I found myself puffing and panting as I climbed the small hills just out of Leocold. It took us two hours to get to the bandits' campsite.

"It is safe. The bandits had gone before we found you and they won't be back for a long time." I nodded to him.

"Thanks, Brunoc. You can go home now."

"But, Jack. Surely you need me just in case something goes wrong."

I smiled at him quietly. "Don't worry, I will return, but it will be a while. You go home and reassure your family that you are safe." He stood still, looking indecisive. "Go on," and I shooed him away with my hand.

He nodded. "Yes, I will if you wish, but will you come back?"

"Yes, I will return this evening, I promise. I'll walk back with you to the ridge."

"Thank you."

Once again, I puffed and panted up this hill onto the ridge. I didn't move from my strategic position until I saw him as a tiny speck disappear from view.

Turning around, I walked as quickly as I could down the hill, past the campsite, over another small ridge to where the stream still bubbled and chattered over the rocks. The purple flowers were still there, giving me different memories from what I'd had the first time I'd seen them.

I ran over to the large rock. I just hoped everything was still there, I thought, as I reached into the crevice. My hand closed over the soft leather of my coat and I gently pulled out the heavy article. Then I reached in again and dragged out my pack. No one had interfered with anything as far as I could see. I checked the pockets of my coat, all my weapons and ammunition were still strapped to it. My bag was untouched and hadn't been opened. I felt along the lining to see if the gold coins were still sewn in and hadn't been removed. Without the gold I would never be able to buy the horses and my journey would have been a waste.

I pulled on the coat and though it was a little on the large size after my enforced diet. It still felt good to be wearing it again. I walked to the stream. From my pack I pulled out shaving gear and plonked it down on a smooth rock. I rubbed my hand over my chin making it rasp against the short beard that had grown in the last two weeks.

After shaving and changing from my borrowed pants into my BDU's, I counted out some money and put it into the pocket of my coat. Then, slinging the pack onto one shoulder, I started the long walk back to town. By the time I had reached the road that led into the town it was beginning to darken because of the late hour. I pulled out my black beanie and dragged it over my short unruly hair. Though I had tried to flatten it down at the stream it wouldn't co-operate. I really needed a good shower or bath to wash my hair, but that would have to wait for another day.

It was only a ten minutes walk to Leocold's Inn and I saw many friends that I had made over the past two weeks walk right by me. Some answered my greeting, but most scurried out of my way into doorways. I was puzzled by this and to be truthful, slightly hurt to think that these new friends of mine didn't want to know me anymore.

It was late when I pushed open the Inn doors. It was the one day of the week that Leocold shut early, mainly to get extra chores done and get an early night. He reckoned as long as he got one good nights sleep a week, he was fine. He was busy stacking the tankards.

"We are closed," he said firmly, but kindly.

I stood still, puzzled. Thoughts of mirrors and alternate universes spun through my head. Shaking it to dispel those thoughts, I then pulled off my hat.

"Leocold?" I questioned

"Jack!" He beamed and walked towards me. "I didn't recognize you. Come in and sit down." He went behind the bar and filled a tankard up with the beer that he served on tap. Walking back over, he placed it down in front of me, and then sat down opposite me on the bench.

He nodded towards my coat. "Who are you? Really?"

I frowned and couldn't work out what he meant, until I looked down at my coat. Peaking out from between the buttons was the butt end of my P-90. I shifted the coat flap to cover it. I had been careless.

"A traveler, on my way to buy horses, like I told you."

"Why the weaponry, I can see you have more than that in there. And there was that small weapon my boys found. What are they? I haven't seen anything like them before."

"Then you are lucky, they are dangerous."

"I was a soldier before my Papa died and he left me this inn. I know all about weaponry and danger." He looked me straight in the eye. His face was devoid of joviality.

They are special weapons, ones that are made on my planet. I use them for defense.

"Didn't help you much with the bandits."

I shrugged. "That's true, but I was taken by surprise. I usually have a team watching my back. No excuse though."

"No." He agreed. "Where was all this?" He waved his hand over my bag and coat.

"Stashed somewhere safe."

"You are lucky the bandits didn't find it all."

"Yes, and glad your sons didn't either." It was my turn to look serious.

He tilted his head on one side and questioned me with a look. I sat still and closed down all emotions.

He said one word that sent a jolt right down into my gut. "Charlie."

Anger began to replace the fear that his perception had caused. "Just how much did you hear?" I leaned over the table menacingly.

"Sorry, Jack. I have a tendency to know what makes a man tick and yes, I heard a lot, but I needed to be around. Some men have been known to try and kill themselves in there, just had to make sure you didn't."

I relaxed and sat back with a tired sigh. "Sorry, Leo. It's just a touchy subject which I'd rather not delve into."

He nodded in reply then leaned forward. "I lost a son to the fever that spread through the land many seasons ago. He was my eldest and he was only two of your years old."

We stared at each other for a while then broke eye contact. He understood, I understood, we were brothers.

"Would you like supper, you missed it earlier?"

"Thanks, that sounds good. What did you make?"

"Gurglot stew." I laughed; he remembered my story about the gurglot stew.

"Leocold. Tell me more about my eye. All I can see is a faint line and kind mother isn't very forthcoming with her explanations."

He plonked a great plate of stew down in front of me and sat back down again.

"If it doesn't put you off your supper," and then laughed his big hearty laugh. "When you came in you were really banged up as you know. One of the bandits kicked you in the head that is why kind mother gave you the lewberry juice. Your eye was swollen and all around it was swollen too. But your eyelid was hanging right across to here." He showed me by drawing his finger from the outside of his eye to the inside. "You were lucky it was still attached. Kind mother sewed it back on for you and then put bandages soaked in lewberry juice. This is what it is made for, not to be drunk by the mug full." He mock glared at me.

"This is amazing; there's barely a scar and no swelling around the eye. It's only been two weeks since you found me."

"Yes it is an amazing flower. If it didn't have such great healing properties, I would have made sure that all the plants were destroyed."

As he was speaking a memory came to me. It was of Alexander, pouring something from a long thin necked bottle and it was purple in colour. He used it to soak the padding that was imbedded into my knee as it healed.

"I think it has been used on me before. For a knee injury."

"Could be. Now it is time for me to get some shut eye." He slowly stood up.

"Leocold, can you put this in your safe for me?" I held up my pack.

"Why sure. Come this way."

I followed him out to his office and he clicked a few dials and opened the door. As I placed the bag and my weapons into the safe a feeling of dread came over me. "Leocold, who else has access to this safe other than you?"

"My mother."

"Not your sons?" I asked concerned.

"No, they are not old enough to warrant this kind of responsibility."

I relaxed and continued to shove my weapons into the safe. The P-90 was hard to fit in but I managed to work it out in the end.

I watched as he shut the door with a clang then spun the dial around to lock it. "Leocold."

"Yes, Jack." He turned and watched me fumble in my pockets.

I pulled out the handful of coins that I had sorted out earlier and slapped them down on his desk. "This is for the last two weeks of room and board and the doctoring, and for this coming week."

He reached across his hand and placed it over the pile of coins; never once hesitating he slid them across to me. "No, Jack. You don't owe us anything; if anything, we owe you."

I slid it back across to him not saying a word. He looked at me for a few moments then let out an audible sigh. "Okay." He threw his hands up in surrender, "but you take this back; we don't deserve to be paid for something that we caused," referring to the lewberry juice. He counted off a few of the coins and put them in his pocket. "Take it, Jack." He looked me in the eyes. I relented and drew the rest of coins into my hand and shoved them back into my pocket. "Excellent." He slapped me on my back and we walked back out into the main room. "See you in the morning, Jack. Bright and early." He ambled off to his room, humming something tuneless. I opened the door to my room and collapsed onto the bed. I was tired.

The sun was just rising over the ridge behind the small town as I walked out the front gates. I wanted to get an early start to this long journey, at least I would be able to ride one of the horses back and hopefully, it would be quicker.

Once again, I left good people behind me, people that I would miss, but I would see them on my return journey when I would stay with them. I chuckled to myself remembering Leocold assuring me that his stables were warm and dry and that they would be big enough to house Neeron's great horses. It wasn't until I had walked several steps that I realized I'd 'chuckled' just like Leocold. Shaking my head in disbelief I strode up the dry dusty road, my coat flapping around my shins as I took each step.

Not much more happened on the journey, at first I found it interesting watching the wildlife and the scenery, but after a while I was wishing that the journey would hurry up and end. Every few days I took the opportunity to check out caves that would not only be a good strategic point but would house the great horses that I would be bringing back with me. At each cave, I stashed piles of wood and dry bracken, because I wasn't sure that I would make it back in time to miss the winter. And if someone came across the firewood and had need of it, I didn't mind if it was put to good use.

The only unusual thing that puzzled me on my journey is that I came across no other travelers. For over two weeks, the only company I had was myself and the small animals and birds that scurried in the undergrowth and chattered and twittered in the trees.

2028

'_Daddy."_

"_Hey, baby. Come here. When did you get home?"_

"_Just now, Mommy wants you to get the shopping out of the shuttle."_

"_I heard that little Miss. Just need some help that's all, Jack." _

"_Wow, what'ya buy, the whole store?" _

"_Jack"._

"_Be right there. Arrietty 2005_


	29. Chapter 29

**Memoirs of Brigadier General Jack O'Neill**

(Retired)

**Part IX**

**Chapter One**

2008

Eventually, after nearly three weeks, I arrived. It had been a long road and I was hot and tired. I could see the large horses plowing in the fields and several workers tilling the ground. The whole place was a hive of activity. Long low buildings stretched out behind a large magnificent-looking house. It had three stories with turrets and wings poking out all around the main building. I followed the road around to the trade entrance which was situated behind the house.

I could see that one of the long low buildings was the servant's quarters while the other side seemed to be the stables. A few children were busy loading some hay onto a cart. I thought this was strange because when I was in Leocold, the children were schooled.

"Borro na sas voithisso kirie." The voice made me jump because it was quite close behind me. I swiveled around and saw a short man; he was wearing a long coat over a plain linen shirt and matching trousers. He had plain leather sandals on his feet.

"I wish to see Neeron. Thelo na tho ton Neeron," I repeated in Greek.

He nodded, and called someone over. An old woman came up to me and gestured for me to follow her. She was wearing similar clothes to the man, but she had a long shapeless dress on and no sandals on her feet.

"Come, sir," and she led me to a small shelter. It was hot in the courtyard and I found it pleasant to sit in the shade.

"Do you wish for some refreshments, sir?"

I smiled at her; she reminded me so much of Leocold's mother, remembering the way the people of this planet spoke with respect to their elders I answered in the same way.

"Thank you kind Mother, this would be most pleasing."

A look of shock flitted across her face before she masterfully hid it. She bowed and shuffled off to a large shelter, where I assumed the food was prepared for the workers.

The children had finished loading the cart and were attempting to pull it along by the bar towards the end of the stables. Even though there were five of them, they just didn't seem to have the strength to get it going. I was surprised and shocked to see none of the adults stop to help them. I stood up. One of these kids was going to get hurt soon if someone didn't help. Just then a form flitted out from one of the stables. The only reason I knew she was female was because of the short, dirty linen smock that hung down to just below her knees and the long brown, bushy hair that dangled down her back. Her dirty feet gripped the ground as she leaned on the back of the cart to help push it along. With the added help the cart started to move. The kids looked at her nervously, then I noticed one of the little girls smile at her before continuing to push on the bar. Now the momentum of the cart was going, the tall, scruffy girl scuttled back into one of the stables.

The day was getting hotter, and when the woman returned she had removed her coat. As she set down the tray with a tall glass of something cold onto the table, I was shocked to see she had a deep open cut down her forearm. The injury was red with blood and looked like it had only just happened.

"Mother," I said, "You are injured."

The same shock came across her face as before, but this time it did not disappear as quickly. She then smiled and shook her head, and slowly walked away.

"Thank you, kind mother," I called out to her. I found her behavior puzzling.

The drink was nice, not too sweet and very refreshing. The clink of ice cubes banged against the glass in a very comforting way. I had walked a long way and I was very hot and tired. And ice… wow, hadn't seen that in a long time. Not in a drink, that is.

The children had finished pulling the cart and now were unloading it into one of the stables. They had been out in the hot sun for quite a time now, but they hadn't started to grumble or complain. I began to get an uncomfortable feeling sitting there in the shade sipping an ice cold drink. The feeling wasn't just because I wasn't doing anything to help, but there seemed to be something wrong here. I couldn't quite put my finger on it, but there was something.

Looking over at the house, I noticed a large man waddling towards me. He had shiny leather shoes on his feet and brightly coloured robes. Bright blue trousers peeked out under his light coat as he walked. The sun glinted off precious stones that adorned his fingers.

I slowly stood up and started to walk out towards him, picking up my pack in one hand as I went. Though it was hot, I had kept my long coat on, I still wasn't quite sure of this place or this man.

"Herretismata. Irthess yia emborion?" he asked, smiling.

Without thinking I replied in English, "Greetings, yes I wish to look at some of your horses."

"Excellent." he replied.

"What is it you wish to see? A fine mount for yourself, or maybe some cavalry horses for your army."

I will have to watch this man. He's astute and he'd already worked out that I'd been in the military.

"Actually, I am looking for two work horses, large ones that can pull a plow. I heard that yours are the best that there are. Preferably, a breeding pair," I added.

"With this, I can help you. The large horses are what we pride ourselves in."

He drew in a deep breath and bellowed out a word. "Rabnor!" The man who had spoken to me earlier came bustling up. He was almost bowing and scraping at Neeron.

He spoke quickly but I understood most of what he said. "Balle ton skouliki na ferry ta dio kastana apo to piso horafia. Mia stigmi. He turned to me and spoke. "What about a mount for yourself. You will need to ride as well."

"Well I was hoping to ride one of these horses," I replied.

He stood there and shook his head and went "tut tut. That will never do, there won't be room. You will need to carry food for these horses. You are going back to the Chapa'ai?"

I nodded yes. "You will need feed for these horses and there will not be room for you to sit." He stood there looking most pleased with himself. I groaned inwardly.

"Okay… Yes, I will look at a horse for myself too." He nodded to Rabnor, and just spoke two words. "Ferrte ton thirrion." A sinking feeling worked its way down inside me at the thought of a horse named 'Wild beast'.

"Unfortunately, I only have one rideable horse available, I usually only deal in large beasts and they are very expensive compared to common horses."

I did not like the look that was on his face as he spoke those words, but it seemed I wasn't going to have much of a choice.

"Come." He led me back to where I was sitting and he sat down at the table. The old woman immediately came up to him and waited.

"More refreshments," he ordered and she shuffled off to the large tent. I noticed that she hadn't dressed the wound yet. I found it worrying, but I was unsure what to do about it.

It was about half an hour later that I heard the yelling and shouting. Three men were hanging onto a rope behind a terrified looking horse as it galloped into the courtyard. His hooves clattering on the cobblestones. The whites of its eyes stared out in fear as it scrambled to a halt. Turning around it started to gallop back out the way it had come, only to be stopped by two large cart horses being led into the courtyard by the young girl that had helped the kids with cart.

Neeron by now had stood up and was shouting at his workers to get the horse under control. All he managed to do was excite it further and it reared up knocking one of the men down in the process. Sparks flew as the horses front hooves hit the ground just inches from his head.

By now both Neeron and I had reached the courtyard, I turned to Neeron. "Do you expect me to buy this?" I asked incredulously.

He shrugged his shoulders, "This breed is known for their endurance . . . there isn't a better animal to carry you the distance you need to travel. These idiots couldn't walk a goat down the boulevard. Now, a fine horseman, such as yourself, should have no problem."

I was skeptical.

I looked back at the courtyard, the horse had broken free and all the men had run away from the killer hooves as the horse screamed and thundered around the courtyard desperate for escape. Fortunately, the fallen man had been pulled free and was slowly standing up on his own two feet relatively unhurt.

Neeron continued to scream at his workers to get the terrified horse under control.

At this point I had made my decision, I would be walking back to the Stargate, there was no way I was going to be riding that.

Just then I noticed the girl again, she had handed the reins of the large horses to someone and was walking carefully towards the frightened horse. For the first time, I saw her stand tall, not bent over and afraid. She never said a word, but swiftly dodged the flying hooves as they crashed around her. Within seconds she was by his head and had caught hold of one of the ropes. The horse stopped, quivering all over, the whites still showed strong in his eyes. I watched mesmerized as she reached up a hand and stroked his neck, then moved to face him. Leaning forward she placed her face against his nose and stood still. Her hair puffed out with each breath as the horse was still panting from exertion. I watched the horse stop quivering and become calm. After a few moments she led the horse around the courtyard and into one of the stables. He followed quietly without any fear showing.

"Katarameni koppella."

"Pardon?" I asked.

"Didn't she do well?" he replied. He smiled a smile that didn't reach his eyes. I was positive he had said, 'cursed woman.'

"I don't think I need a horse to ride, I can walk very well, thank you." I spoke firmly.

"Please come with me, we need to talk some more, before you make any hasty decisions."

I rolled my eyes and followed him as he walked towards the two large Shire horses still standing placidly. Even after all the excitement they hadn't batted an eyelid. I had heard this man's horses were the best, now I knew why. I swiftly looked them over, they let me lift their feet and I ran my hand down their legs checking for heat or tenderness. I could feel no heat in them. These were sound, well cared for horses.

"Can you walk them around the yard?"

Neeron waved a hand to the two grooms. Immediately, they walked the great animals around in a circle. They looked good.

"A trot."

Neeron frowned.

"Faster," I requested, my tone leaving no room for misunderstanding.

I waited until I was satisfied before nodding my head for the horses to stop. While I was checking one of the horse's mouths, I heard a scuffle behind me.

I twisted around and observed the same girl that had quietened the horse, being pulled off Neeron. I couldn't see her face as her hair was all over the place and she was biting kicking and punching her captors as they dragged her off.

Neeron looked most uncomfortable as he righted his shiny gold turban on his head and dabbed at a long bleeding scratch down his face.

He turned to one of the guards and spoke quickly, then handed him a small oval shaped metallic object. It was very similar in design to the Asgard communication device, except this was grey.

The group of workers went still, I heard a stifled gasp.

"Everyone, get back to work," Neeron ordered and flapped his arms at them. The courtyard emptied.

The guard marched off in the same direction that they had taken the girl.

"So how much?" I asked, I was getting rather annoyed with this man. He obviously didn't treat his workers well. Servants with open cuts on their arms and children working when they should be either in school or playing didn't seem right to me.

"Two hundred and fifty gold coins," he replied. "Each," he added.

I wasn't surprised, I knew these horses were valuable, but I had hoped to pay a bit less than this.

I expected to pay around two hundred gold coins, give or take, but I wasn't going to let this man know that.

"Hundred and fifty," I replied.

"Oh, sir, you will kill me with that, these horses have been cared for and fed from when they were foals. And I have slaves to feed and care for," he whined.

I stopped walking in my tracks, my heart went cold. "You what?" I spun around and faced him. I was gratified to see him shrink back away from me. "Slaves?" I asked. Well, that explained a lot.

"I thought you were aware. I deal in horses and slaves. I have the lowest record of runaways on this planet," he added with pride.

I started to feel sick in my gut; I had not seen any sign of slaves in Leocold, but then I remembered the people chained up for sale when I first arrived in the market town. But I needed these horses. I pushed down my revulsion and swallowed the bile that was trying to force its way up. I continued to barter for the two large chestnuts that stood idly by, totally oblivious to their fate.

We finally reached a price, one that I was pleased with, one hundred and seventy-three gold coins each. This was better than I had hoped. The only problem was I had to agree to buy the terrified horse that had been so difficult to get under control. But he would only cost me ten gold coins, so that had been a good deal. He was going to throw in the feed for all three horses, plus saddle and bridle. I still knew that there was going to be a good chance that I would be walking back to the 'gate. In fact, I could guarantee it.

The two large horses were geared up with the feed. They had wooden saddles placed on their backs with the large bags hung on the wood that crossed over. They looked secure and I thought it would be nice to be able to eventually put my heavy pack on there too.

The horse 'Wild Beast' though Neeron insisted his name was Meadow, had been brought out of the stable, he seemed placid enough. I just hoped he would let me get out of the gate before he ditched me.

Neeron had wandered off to see about something else and I was sitting under the shade watching Meadow for any signs of unrest.

"Kind sir."

"Yes, mother," I replied. And turned to see the kind old lady that had served me refreshments.

"Please, do not think me presumptuous, but I have a favor to ask of you."

"Of course, anything I can do to help, Mother."

"La Haia. Please take her with you."

I screwed my face in puzzlement. "Who?"

"La Haia," she replied, "The girl that helped with your horse. You are taking her friends, please take her with you. She will not last long here. I believe she has not long to live if she stays."

I was puzzled because I was sure her name was something else so I asked her. "You mean, Skouliki?"

The old woman's eyes filled with tears. "I am sorry, sir, that I have taken your time."

"Wait," I said, as she turned away from me. "Tell me more about La Haia… please."

"She's been with us for several years, but she does not speak. She lives with the horses in the fields or in the stables. None of us have been able to help her. And most of the people here are afraid of her. She is strange. And she tries to escape all the time, now you will take her horses away from her, she will try to escape again. I do not think our master will let her live if she does that again."

I thought back to the slip of a girl that had mastered the terrified horse, maybe taking her with me would not only help her, but me as well.

"Where is she from? I can take her home," I queried.

"We do not know, nor does she. She seems dim-witted, but she is not. La Haia has been very badly treated here, more so than others. I know you will treat her well. But please do not call her that terrible name, as it is not hers."

"What does Skouliki mean?" I asked.

"Worm," she replied.

I nodded thoughtfully, keeping my anger deep within. "I will not call her that, but I am not sure Neeron will let her come with me."

"You have to buy her."

I shook my head, "I do not buy or sell people."

"But you have to, and then you can set her free, when you wish, but you will have to buy her to take her from here."

I thought for a while, and then spoke slowly to her. "You - how much will you be?"

She smiled a sad smile, "not very much and I will slow you down. Anyway my village is two days in the opposite direction that you will be going."

"Your village?"

"Yes, I was taken when I was a young girl. I have seen my family only once since then. They tried to buy me back, but Neeron's father would not sell me. I have two nephews who visit me, but they do not have enough gold coin to release me."

"How much would you be?"

"One gold coin." It hurt me to hear that a human being was only worth one gold coin, but a horse that was full of trouble was worth ten.

Pulling four gold coins out of my pocket I pressed them into her hand, "get word to your nephews, tell them you have money for them to buy you, and then you can go home. But do not tell them about the extra, you will need that to live."

Her eyes filled with tears again. "I knew you were a good man as soon as I saw you. You will take La Haia with you?"

I nodded. "If Neeron will sell her, yes I will take her."

"Thank you." Tucking the gold coins under her smock, she shuffled away.

I hoped what she told me was true. I had to trust my instincts, and they said that she was a good woman. I walked up to the big house to find Neeron.

When I asked Neeron about the girl, he had laughed at me. "You mad foreigner," he said, "You will only make yourself trouble."

"As you have convinced me to buy Meadow or is it 'the wild beast?" I smirked.

He looked up at me startled.

"Tha zriasto kapionne na me voithissi na ton isihasso otan perrasso to Astroppirgo," I finished in fluent Greek, realizing that I most probably was very close to the truth and that I would need La Haia to help me get the horse through the Stargate.

He shuffled uncomfortably then said, "Five gold coins."

"One."

"Deal," and he held out his arm to clasp mine.

With inner loathing I clasped his back.

_DISCLAIMER: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions and Gekko Productions. This story has been written for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations and story are the property of the authors._


	30. Chapter 30

**Memoirs of Brigadier General Jack O'Neill**

(Retired)

**Part IX**

**Chapter Two**

2008

Thirty minutes later, all the horses were ready to go. It was early evening and the sun was low in the sky. I didn't want to hang around here for long. I didn't feel safe and the sooner I was on the road the better. I knew of a place that we could camp for the night which was only three hours ride away. If we left soon, we would be there in plenty of time.

It wasn't until I was sitting on Meadow that I realized my predicament. I had somewhere to sit, but La Haia didn't. The Shire were loaded up to the gills with feed, and by the downwind smell of her, I didn't fancy having her up behind me. And anyway, I wasn't sure that she wouldn't attack me like she did Neeron.

Neeron came up to me and handed me one of those small grey objects like he'd handed to his guard.

"You know what these are?" he asked.

I shook my head.

"I'll show you, he grabbed the nearest 'slave' which happened to be a young woman and pulled out her arm. I saw the same fresh open wound on her arm that the old woman had had, but this one had another line at right angles across it. I saw naked fear in this woman's eyes as she stared at the object in Neeron's hand.

"You don't have to show me, just tell me," I quickly said. The woman relaxed as I spoke.

Neeron pushed her away.

"See this button?" He pressed down on a dark grey circle, "This initiates the branding." Then he pressed a light grey circle. "This one here takes it away."

"Thank you," _'I think.'_ I said as I pocketed the object.

"If she gives you trouble, just give her another line across", he showed me by running his finger across his own forearm. "If they do well, I reward them by taking it away. But don't remove the long line, that is their brand, it tells the authorities that they are slaves."

I nodded. Keeping what I really thought of all this deep inside. I knew if I spoke I wouldn't be able to control myself.

Then he handed me the papers. "For Meadow" He grinned as he spoke the horse's name. "Here are the papers for the chestnuts, and here are the ones for Skouliki." They prove to authorities that you own them; you will not be able to leave this planet without them.

I understood, as I had received papers for myself when I arrived. It would be the only way I could leave without a lot of problems.

Just then, I heard some shouting and scuffling. It took two men to drag La Haia out of one of the stables. She never made a sound, but fought the shackles that bound her wrists. A rope was firmly attached to the shackles and she was pulling on it, digging her bare toes around the cobbles trying to hang on tight. When they managed to drag her to where we were waiting, she must have seen the two large horses, because she stopped struggling. The feeling of pure hatred and malice hit me as I saw the glint of her eyes through her thick brown hair. She quickly lowered her head and stood quietly.

I could see I was going to have my hands full with this girl.

My problem of where she was going to sit had been solved. No one expected her to sit anywhere, because she would be walking.

The lead ropes to the horses were tied around the pommel of my saddle and with one hand I held on tight to La Haia's rope and then with the other guided my mount out the courtyard. As I left, I saw the old woman standing and watching. She was smiling. I glanced at La Haia and she was staring at the old woman, pulling slightly on her rope. Yes she at least had had one friend while being there.

I traveled slowly; I didn't want to go too fast for the girl. I had seen that she had bare feet and the road was not a comfortable one. I was in a predicament; she couldn't walk all the way to the Stargate, not while I rode. And until she'd a bath, she wasn't coming up here that was for sure. At least, after a couple of days there would be room on the Shire horses, as the feed would have gone down.

We had been traveling for about two hours when it hit me. There I was, the great General O'Neill, leader of the SGC, Goa'uld killer, warrior, you name it and here I was, leading two great fat horses and a very unhappy dirty girl in the middle of nowhere. If Teal'c could see me now; I rolled my eyes in the dark and sighed at the thought. Oh and Daniel, he'd never leave it alone. I would be the laughing stock among the marines. Well, they would laugh on the other side of their faces when I got the doohickey for them.

I felt a tug on the rope. So I stopped and turned around, the girl was pulling off to the side of the road and gesturing towards some small bushes.

"A pit stop?" I asked.

I stiffly climbed down from my horse; it had been a long while since I had ridden one. Boy, was I going to be sore tomorrow. Slightly suspicious, I glared at my charge, I'm sure I saw a smirk in the moonlight at my obvious discomfort, but I wasn't sure. I nodded for her to go into the bushes and firmly hung onto the rope.

Soon I was back up on my horse and we were continuing along the road. After a while, I turned off the road up into the hills. There was a small cave that I had noticed on the way in and had checked it out. Now I had these horses I would be even more of a target for bandits. I had been fortunate the first time, but I might not be the next time. Since my experience with the bandits, I had checked out the terrain all the way here, looking for places to hide out in with two large horses and places where I could stop for a while and sleep if I wanted to. This was the first place.

As soon as we arrived, I pulled out a large wooden stake. It was similar to the one that the bandits had used on me and, in fact, that was where I got the idea. I had requested this before I'd left. Neeron had looked at me as though I had grown another head, but I hadn't enlightened him on what I wanted it for. Pulling out a large mallet, which I had requested also, I pounded the stake into the hard packed ground. Then in the large metal ring that was already attached to the stake, I pulled out another pair of shackles and connected them to the ring in the stake then onto a metal chain, which was then attached to the ring in the centre of La Haia's shackles. I did all this cautiously. This girl was fiery and I couldn't see what she was thinking behind that mop of hair.

I pulled the baggage off the horses and unsaddled Meadow. I was beginning to like that name after all. And tipped some feed into their nosebags before tying them to a line. I realized that each day was going to take longer to unpack and re-pack with the extra work with the horses. They had only traveled a short distance, so I left them to their own devices and started to build a fire.

La Haia had a short chain, but not too short. I had it long enough so she had some privacy if needed, but not too long that she could throttle me with it in the night.

The evening was getting cooler, so I pulled out a blanket and threw it to the girl. She picked it up and wrapped herself in it and promptly fell asleep.

"I'm going to have some dinner."

She didn't reply, but then she didn't speak. Shrugging, I continued to make some stew. All my supplies had been freeze-dried. This made it light and easy to carry. Meat, veggies, fruit and even some spuds. Personally, I preferred MRE's, but they were heavy, and bulky. This had worked so much easier. I only used this stuff when I couldn't buy fresh food.

It was pretty easy; I just emptied the packets into the water and left it to bubble away for a long time. It wasn't the best tasting stuff in the world, but it was sufficient. It had all the right nutrients and even bulk. The only problem was it tasted like crap.

Once it was cooked, I dished it out into two small bowls and poked La Haia with my foot.

"Hey!" She didn't move.

"Faye. Food!" I yelled in her ear. That should wake her up, but she didn't move. So I placed it down by her nose, or where I thought her nose should be and toddled over to a fallen log and sat down to eat mine.

After a few minutes, a hand crept out and touched the bowl. She slowly sat up and picked up the bowl and turned her back to me. First, the spoon went west. Then, the bowl was dropped, while she clutched at her burnt hand. She looked at me; I briefly saw the glint of tears. She thought I'd tried to burn her on purpose.

"Zesto," I said, then stood up and picked up her spoon. Dusting it off, I placed it back into her fallen bowl. Fortunately the bowl still had its contents. I picked up a spoonful of stew and blew on it to cool it down.

"Vieppiss zesto! Fissixe. Then I blew on it again, to cool it. Isterra troyye, inne kalo.

I placed it back down in front of her and went back to finish off mine before it got cold. I watched as she picked the bowl back up and blew on the spoon of food. It was most probably stone cold by now with all that blowing, but she seemed to get the idea. It was then I realized that she most probably had never had hot food before. By her skinny tall frame I wouldn't have been surprised if that had been the case.

I watched mesmerized as she scraped the bowl clean, then started to lick out the bowl. This was one hungry girl. I could see that I would run out of food before long if this carried on.

Smiling to myself, I built up the fire some more, then pulled out my sleeping bag, I had to sleep sometime, I just made sure I was not within throttling distance with the food expert over there. As I rolled myself up in my warm bag, I noticed she had moved close the fire and had wrapped herself up in the blanket. She looked like a small child curled up in a ball. I wondered if she had been like one of those children, before she had grown, not being able to play or learn.

I awoke to the sound of horses nickering to each other and the soft pad of feet, then a clink of a chain link. I was sitting up looking around me in a flash. The fire had gone right down during the night, and I couldn't see the girl. I followed the chain to the horses. She had pulled out a handful of hay and was rubbing down the horses. Every few minutes she would stop for a second and lean against their great sides, as though listening for a heartbeat, then would continue on with her work. I was pleased to see that they were busy munching in their nosebags. La Haia was looking after them well; maybe we would get to the Stargate a bit quicker than I thought.

I stretched my aching back muscles first, and then scrambled without much dignity out of my bag. The muscles down the inside of my thighs screamed with pain. Oh, this was not going to be a fun day today at all. I hobbled over to the fire, and built it up. I needed coffee, desperately. As soon as the hot water had boiled, I made my coffee, and then threw in some dried fruit into the boiling water. The coffee was like nectar.

La Haia continued to rub down the horses and kept her back to me the whole time. Even when I called her over to eat some breakfast, she ignored me.

The fruit pulp wasn't the best of breakfasts, but I had run out of oats on the journey in, so had to make do. I wandered over to the horses and passed her bowl over. Once again, a spoon stuck into the bowl of steaming apple.

"Zesto… Hot." I repeated in English. I had no idea what language she understood, and as I preferred to speak English she might as well learn it.

This time I was pleased to see that she blew on her food and that she used the spoon and not her fingers.

As soon as I had finished, I packed up the camp. La Haia was still polishing the bowl with her tongue. This I would have to work on. We needed to get going soon or we would not reach our camp by nightfall and it was important that we did. Neeron had mentioned that the winter storms would soon be approaching and that we would need to find shelter when they broke.

I have to admit I was confused about the seasons, as it seemed to be in the middle of summer at the moment. He chuckled, which annoyed me, then told me that they only had two seasons here, not like other planets. Summer and winter. He then offered for me to stay until the thaw, which would be about eight week's time. Not wanting to stay at his place for any longer than I had to, I declined. Apparently, the weather here consisted of summer and winter only, but changed every two months. I pondered about how they grew their crops, but the answer to that one would have to wait until another time or until I got to Leocold and could ask Leocold. _'I still can't get used to that.'_

We were soon on our way, after I had wrestled the bowl and spoon away from La Haia. I could see the trip was going to be rather interesting. She came more willingly this time, which made things much easier. We only stopped twice to visit the bushes. I gave her a water bottle to drink from and an energy bar to eat, but apart from that neither of us stopped to eat along the way. After the energy bar, I noticed that she didn't pull on the rope, but actually tried to walk beside my horse. I think she was hoping that I would give her another one.

"No, you will get fat," I told her, not that she would have understood me, but I think she understood my tone because she dropped back to walk beside the large lumbering horses.

We arrived at the next camp in really good time. I was amazed at how fast we had traveled. I was pleased, too, because I could hear a faint rumble in the background as storm clouds gathered. It looked like winter was going to be early.

As soon as we arrived at the campsite, La Haia, immediately, started to unload the horses. I purposefully left the stake in the packs. It was time to see if she would run or not. When she had finished, I walked over to her and took hold of her arm. I could see the ugly red slash down her arm, plus two across her arm. They looked sore and inflamed; I still couldn't understand how it worked. The blood seemed to stay in and not pour out, but it looked as fresh has if someone had drawn a knife across her arm. I reached forward and unlocked her shackles; they fell to the ground with a loud thump. I saw her wrists were red and scraped.

"I have something for that, it will help the pain."

I gave her a smile, she kept her eyes downward.

"Ella . . . Come." I repeated, still hopefully trying to make her understand me. Leading the horses, we walked into a large cave. An underground stream flowed along the back of it, but other than that, it was dry and warm. There was room for the horses to stand and fresh water for them too. I left her to tie up the horses then went back to get the food and packs. When I got back into the cave, she had moved some of the dry wood that I had previously gathered last time I was here and made a small pile in the middle of the floor. It wasn't right, but I could see that she had tried. Smiling to myself, I dumped the packs onto the floor then went back outside for more. This time I had come back, I could see the horses had their nosebags on and were happily munching away.

I stood and looked at the scruffy, dirty girl in the dim light. No, not girl, she was too tall for that. She was a grown woman, but I had no idea how old she was. "Well." I said, "Now it's your turn." I bent down and opened my pack and pulled out a small bag and a rather tired looking towel.

"Come on!" I gestured with my arm for her to follow me. Snatching up my handgun along the way, I led her down through the rocks to the large pool. The sun was out hot and strong, and I was dressed in my trousers and t-shirt. It was far too hot to wear anything more than that. The waterfall that splashed into the pool, reflected colours from the sun as it shone through the spray. It looked cool and inviting. I quickly pulled off my shirt, boots and socks, and then waded into the water.

"Hey, this is great!" I smiled at her.

She crouched down beside the pool and poked one finger into the water, then drew it out again, then began to wander off towards a small patch of purple flowers.

"Oh, so you don't like water, do you?" I waded back out onto the dry land and walked over to where she was picking the flowers. I still couldn't see what was going on in there, but I was thankful that I hadn't received that malicious stare today.

"Come on, you're goin' in whether you want to or not." I bent down, and picked her up around the waist and slung her over one shoulder, making sure I was not within biting distance. I was surprised, she was so light, but then, maybe, I shouldn't have been. After all, Neeron treated his slaves very badly.

At first, she didn't react, but when I started to wade into the water, she was a handful. La Haia kicked and punched me and threw herself around so much I had trouble hanging onto her. I didn't lose my hold fortunately, until we were waist deep in the pool and I dropped her into the pool with a loud splash.

She came up gasping for air, her hair hanging over her like a large mop. I couldn't help myself. I laughed, most probably not the wisest of things to do, but it just came out before I could stop it. Reaching over I grabbed the bag and pulled out the shampoo.

"Right, Miss don't like water, you are going to have to put up with it." She stood there shivering in the water with her head down. "Are you sure you aren't Nox?" I asked. "With that hair, it certainly looks that way." Not expecting nor receiving an answer, I started to plow into her hair, hoping that nothing crawled out of it at the same time. After a few moments of massaging the shampoo in, she knocked my hands away from her head, and reached out for the bottle of shampoo. I quickly took some for my own hair before handing it to her. Still with her head down, she put her nose over the end and sniffed the opening. Then promptly squirted some more shampoo over her head. After rescuing the bottle, I left her to it as she rubbed and scrubbed her hair with the sweet smelling stuff. I wondered briefly what she would have thought of rose petal shampoo.

I had liquid body-wash gel; I found it easier to travel with than a hard tablet of soap. This I showed her briefly what it was for. Under the drooping bits of soap-filled hair I saw a flash of a smile when she took the bottle from me. I wondered if this was going to be the last time I ever had a decent wash until I could get some more. At least, it won't take us as long to get back to the Stargate because now she could ride behind me. Leaving her to her ablutions, I finished off my hair and ducked under the water. It was cool and refreshing as I swam through the clear water.

When I came up for air, I noticed she had gone. _"How could I have been so stupid?" _Then I saw a ripple on the water, the sun glinting off the surface. I saw another movement as fawn-coloured head broke the surface, long straight (clean, I might add) hair hung down over her face. I heard her gasp a breath then sink back down under the surface, leaving bubbles and soap film swirling on the surface of the pool.

Only my head was above water while I waited for her to come up again. I waited for what seemed to be ages, before I saw the movement on the water, and then the mound of her head broke the surface. This time her fawn-coloured hair was pushed back away from her face and her hands came up and smoothed the water from her hair, leaving it a lighter shade as the water was pressed out from it. The sun glinted of her wet eyelashes when she opened them to the sky and then she turned and looked straight at me, for a second she was relaxed and happy, a small smile on her lips. Then fear and confusion moved into her eyes and she looked down at the water.

I was speechless and dismayed all at once. I didn't know what to think or say, an overwhelming anger built up within me, filling me with confusion.

_2030_

_"Hey, Jack. What are you doing?"_

_"Just pottering, why?"_

_"You've been in here for ages; I just wondered that was all."_

_"I'll be out in a minute."_

_"Oh . . . this thing. I thought you had given up on this idea long ago."_

"_The dreams, they're back. I thought I would try this out some more. It worked last time."_

"_Yes, it did . . . Jack?"_

"_Yes."_

"_I think you should finish it. Really finish it. All of it, so it doesn't come back."_

"_It stirs things up, things I don't want stirred up."_

"_I know, Jack, but it helps, you know it does. No one is going to see this, but you, remember? This is better than those doctors you don't want to talk to."_

"_Yes, you are right. I will finish it, but not right now. The sun is shining, how about we go for a walk?"_

"_Good idea."_

_DISCLAIMER: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions and Gekko Productions. This story has been written for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations and story are the property of the authors._


	31. Chapter 31

**Memoirs of Brigadier General Jack O'Neill**

(Retired)

**Part IX**

**Chapter Three**

2008

Pushing the anger down inside, I stood up out of the water and moved carefully over to La Haia. Her face was still pointed downwards, staring at the water; I could see her reflection on the surface.

Tentatively, I reached out a hand lifted her chin and looked into her eyes. Stranger's eyes stared back at me. A terrified stranger, but the face was not of a stranger. I quickly reached around to the back of her neck and felt the small scar from where the symbiote from Steveson had penetrated. I found myself trembling as I pulled her hand out to look at the back of it, there for all to see, was a faint scar running up beside her thumb. There were other injuries that I knew that there would be evidence of, but I didn't need to look, I knew. This was not the replicator Sam who wouldn't have had any scars and wouldn't have been in this situation.

"Carter?" I asked, quietly.

She quickly looked down at the water, she was frightened, she didn't understand.

"Sam?" I asked more urgently. I grabbed her by the shoulders and twisted her around to look at me. "It's me, O'Neill." I shook my head, "Jack." Once again her eyes dropped to the water. Then I remembered, the photo, the photo of the four of us - taken before . . . before I'd lost her.

Without a second thought, I rushed out of the pool as excitement bubbled up out of me. As I splashed out onto the grass, I turned back to her. She was looking rather surprised. "Don't move, I'll be right back." I snatched up my shirt and ran fast as I could back to the cave. The shirt became wet as soon as I pulled it on and clung to me as I panted up the pathway. The legs of my wet trousers flapped against each other as I sprinted across the flat piece of grass to the mouth of the cave. I couldn't stop smiling as I delved into my pack and pulled the waterproof bag out of the inside pocket. There it was, the dog-eared photo of my team Teal'c, Daniel, myself and Sam, standing in a row. It had been taken when I was made General, and I wanted something to remember our team by. Shivers of excitement traveled through me, and I looked up, straight into the eye of Meadow.

With sudden realization, I cried out in dismay, and ran, faster than I had ever run before. I slid down the small pathway, the dirt and dust flicking away under my bare feet. _'I had left her on her own. The girl that always ran away.' _The pain in my chest pounded as I gasped oxygen into my lungs. Leaping down over the last few small rocks, I landed in the middle of the purple flowers scattered through the grass. I scanned the pool. There was no sign of her anywhere. To add to my feeling of despair, a loud rumble sounded off in the distance, a crack and then lightening forked across the sky.

Moving forward, I checked the edge of the pool. I could see where I'd left it; the drying wet marks were unmistakably my feet. Moving over to the side of the pool, I could see small wet footprints leading out across some flat stones. Not wanting to make such a stupid mistake again, I pulled my socks on over my wet feet and yanked on my boots and laced them up. I stared at the bottles of shampoo and soap sitting on the large boulder. Only moments ago, I had been happy, even before I knew who she was, I had been happy, but now I was scared, more scared than I had been for a long time. This was no alternate world, this was my world. The world in which I had lost her, but she was here, somewhere.

I stood up and looked out towards the west, there were large black thunderclouds building up, interspersed with a flash of forked lightening as it cut across the sky. A cool breeze swirled the dust at my feet and made me shiver. Dare I go back to get my jacket and risk losing her, or should I keep going and hope I find her quickly? I pulled out my handgun from under the small rock where I had hidden from prying eyes. I stuffed it into the back waistband of my pants, and followed the quickly drying tracks.

I nearly lost her trail, and then I saw some hair caught on a branch at eye level. She must have been running fast to be that high. I had seen her move with the horses in the courtyard; I knew she was fast and fit. Maybe underfed, but she could certainly hold her own. Each time I thought I'd lost her, I found another token, a piece of ripped clothing at one time, but usually her hair. Bright hair, which danced in the fading sunlight. Hair that had dried to a beautiful golden sunshine colour. I would never have believed that the girl that I had seen at Neeron's had been Sam. The hair colour tainted with the dirt and grime of many years. Shaking those thoughts from my mind, I kept following the tracks. If this had been Sam I was following I would never have succeeded. She was too good at her job to let someone like me find her. In a twisted way, I was fortunate that she did not remember who she was.

It was one hour later that I lost her tracks. The downpour that erupted from the sky, made seeing anything beyond three feet in front of me impossible. The rain hurt my exposed arms and neck as it beat down, spattering up first dust and then mud onto my boots when it hit the ground. I quickly looked at the terrain and tried to think where she would go. Following my instinct, I kept following the trail.

The dust soon turned to greasy mud and I found myself slipping and sliding down the small gradient. Abruptly, the trail ended with a wide ditch running across it. A flash flood had just swept its way down it seconds before I arrived, leaving, broken logs and trash caught amongst the fallen trees. The wind whipped the small branches into a frenzy, swiping at my face and body as I pushed through them to peer into the bottom of the ditch.

You would have never have known that moments before, wild water had flowed its banks as the thick mud like water sat still with the odd fish flopping in the clogged, slow moving stream. The rain still fell heavily, making it hard to see as I picked my way along the banks, looking for any sign of Sam. I came to a large outcrop of rock which I didn't see until I nearly collided with it while watching the swirling water.

Below the rock there was large oval shaped pool that jutted out from the straight ditch. I watched the steady flow of water flow past the pool making little waves and ripples move into the pool. A mud-coloured stringy plant moved along the surface with the ripples. I stood there for only a moment mesmerized by the movement, wondering how I was going to get around this large rock. The ditch was too big to traverse and I hadn't seen anyway that Sam could have climbed up the steep bank on the other side.

Just then a large wave flowed into the pool, making a small fish float to the top, then I saw another beside it. I started to scramble down the clay bank, sliding on its slippery surface. The pain began to constrict my heart again as I grabbed hold of the fish in the water.

"Argh!" I cried out, as I looked at the cold hand clutched in my own.

Reaching into the muddy water, I pulled up a handful of plant. It was hair, human hair. The rain splashed on the surface of the pool, making it hard to find her. Yanking on her arm, I managed to pull one shoulder out then her head. With difficulty in the slippery mud, I dragged her up onto a small outcrop of rock and lay her onto her back. Rain fell heavily onto her face and eyes as she stared up sightlessly into the sky. Turning her over onto her side, I opened her mouth and scooped out mud and leaves from inside.

As I breathed into her, I kept saying to myself like a mantra. _"I will not lose you . . . I will not lose you." _It seemed to go on for an eternity, but, in reality, only moments before she coughed, then choked. I quickly turned her onto her side as she coughed up mud and water. Then she heaved, vomiting up mud and debris that she had swallowed. When she had finished, I rubbed her back gently, while she slowly got her bearings.

I didn't see it coming. She twisted around and lashed out at me. I felt a stinging pain as nails raked across my cheek, then another as she grabbed my ear and pulled hard. Grabbing hold of her left arm I held it down, all the while trying to detangle her hand from my hair. Pain exploded between my legs when she made contact with her knee. The world spun around, then I felt myself toppling sidewise, and curled myself instinctively into a protective ball. Her hand was on my face. She was going for my eyes. Reaching around, I caught hold of her right forearm and held on tight. For the first time, I heard her voice.

She screamed. I held on tighter. Her eyes locked with mine. Pure hatred stared back at me. Her eyes filled with tears, before she collapsed and her head fell onto the rock with a dull thump.

I was panting; the pain, thankfully, had diminished. I still had her forearm in my grasp. I looked down at my hand, and saw a thin stick-like arm lying in the palm of my calloused hand. I tenderly turned her arm over and saw the crisscross slashes gouged into the flesh. It was red and swollen where my hand had squeezed. Now I knew how Neeron controlled his slaves. I let go of her arm as though it burned me and looked back at her face. It was white and pinched with pain.

The rain had washed a lot of the mud from both of us and her breathing was even. I stood and looked around. The rain was easing and I could see a pathway up a small slope from where we were. Picking her up, I hoisted her over my shoulder and started to scramble up the slope. I was being careful of my movements because certain parts of me still hurt.

As soon as I started down the other side, I got into trouble. I lost my footing and both of us started to slide down the steep slope. Sam slipped out of my grasp as we started to fall, colliding as we flipped and bounced our way down. Sharp pain sliced up the calf of my leg as it caught on a broken branch, only slowing me down briefly before continuing on down to finally land in a painful heap at the bottom.

Groaning, I checked myself for injuries. Surprisingly, apart from my leg, I didn't seem to be injured. I examined Sam's limbs to make sure nothing was broken. As far as I could tell, she was fine. I bound my leg up with my bandana, hoping it would stop the bleeding.

I struggled to my feet, picked her up again and slung her over my shoulder. I had to get back to that cave before she came around. I was in no shape to win another fight with her and I didn't want to hurt her again.

Limping heavily in the pouring rain, I made my way past the pool, where only three hours ago I had made a discovery that was beyond my wildest dreams. It was hard clambering up the pathway. Earlier I had bounced my way up with ease, now I struggled with pain and tiredness. Every few seconds my body was wracked with a large shiver as it fought to keep warm.

I heard a quiet nicker of welcome as I staggered into the dark cave. It was warm because the horses within had taken the edge off the cool interior. Laying her down gently, I quickly pulled more sticks over to the small pile of branches that La Haia had attempted to make a fire with. It didn't take long to get the fire going strong and steady. Then I moved back to attend to Sam. She looked so young and vulnerable, not like the Sam I'd known at all. I dragged my bag over and pulled out the folded up emergency blanket. These were good because they kept you warm even if you were wet. I wrapped her in it, and then put a pot of water onto the fire to heat up. The shivering had now started to keep a steady rhythm as it shuddered through my body. I noticed that she wasn't shivering even though she was cold to the touch. This worried me more than anything.

I quickly pulled out some clothes. I had a couple of spare outfits, some BDU's as well as track pants and sweatshirts.

With difficulty, I removed her dress before pulling on the track pants and sweatshirt. The dress was in tatters, and I found I had to cut it up the back with a knife because I couldn't see any fasteners. I was in a hurry to get her warm, after all this; to lose her to hypothermia would be devastating. Knowing that we would lose most of our body heat out through our heads, I dragged out two of my beanies and pulled one awkwardly over her wet hair and put the other one on my head. I then quickly got changed into some dry clothes, pulling on my jacket and leather coat, anything to keep me warm. Not for the first or most probably the last time I silently thanked Teal'c for his generosity as I buttoned up the warm coat.

I bent over to pull my sleeping bag out, this is what she needed I thought while I straightened. As I walked across the cavern floor I felt a hard lump in my coat pocket, reaching in I pulled out the little machine that Neeron had given me. It took a split second to decide on what to do with it, I dropped the sleeping bag onto the floor and pulled back Sam's blanket, before lifting the sleeve of her sweatshirt and very carefully placed the little doohickey onto her arm.

She was awake.

Once again, I was fighting off clawing fingernails as they raked at my neck and face. This time I managed to pin her legs down with mine and I laid my body across her, holding her left arm up underneath me, my shoulder into her neck to keep her teeth at bay. My left arm was across her body hanging onto her right arm trying my hardest to keep it still.

"Argh!" I couldn't keep the yell in my head when I felt her teeth sink into my shoulder. Ignoring the pain, I pushed down onto the light grey button and slowly drew it down the open wound. A slight hum came from the machine as it left clear pink skin behind in its wake. No scars or any sign that there had been anything there at all. While I worked, I felt the teeth release my shoulder and the fighting stopped. I didn't dare stop or move as I still wasn't sure what she would do. Once that was done, I moved onto the ones that went across the arm. Again, the steady hum was all that you could hear as I carefully and slowly ran over the deep gash. Her breathing was quiet, then I heard a tell tale sniff. _'Yup. Carter was Carter, whoever she was. Her unladylike sniffles were a dead giveaway.'_

It must have taken about twenty minutes before I had finished, the water had boiled dry and the fire was nearly out. But her arm was clear of the unsightly cuts that had caused so much anguish.

I rolled over and sat up. She was crying, tears flowing down from the corners of her eyes into her muddy hair and soaking into the black beanie. I carefully reached over and pulled the sleeve down over her arm. Snatching the sleeping bag over, I unzipped it and wrapped it around her. I could see her shivering with the cold and shock of what had happened.

Getting up, I walked over to the horses and filled their nosebags. I gave her some space, some time to think things through. I watched out the corner of my eye as she pulled the sleeve of her sweatshirt up and gazed at her arm. She ran her other hand over the places in amazement where she had been so cruelly marked.

I moved over to the fire and built it up some more then put some more water on. It sizzled and bubbled as I poured the cold water into the dry pot. I limped over to my decimated pack and pulled out the med kit. I had already put a makeshift bandage on my leg when I'd changed, but I knew something more permanent needed to be done. Moving over to the light of the fire, I opened the kit. There it was staring at me. I remember Doctor Melling saying to me all those years ago. 'You probably won't need this, but if you do, it is better to have it just in case.'

I pulled out the surgical spirit and the sealed surgical gloves before unwrapping my makeshift bandage from my leg. No, it didn't look good. Whatever had sliced my leg had opened it up wide. The blood had begun to congeal, beading along the edge of the wound. I carefully, washed my hands in the surgical spirit before pulling the gloves on, they stuck to my skin uncomfortably, even if it was closing the door after the horse had bolted, every little bit helps. I liberally washed the opened cut with the fiery liquid. I had to sit still for a few moments to wait for the pain to die down, before I pulled out the needle and surgical thread. It was then that I saw with dread the one thing I was going to rely on, broken. The only ampoule of local anesthetic I had was smashed at the bottom of the kit. Gritting my teeth, I pulled the lips together of the wound and stuck the needle into the flesh. I was half way down the cut, before I passed out.

I woke up shivering in a cold sweat. My leg burned as though it was on fire. I looked down at my leg and could only see the dark green of my sleeping bag as it encased me from my feet right up to my chin. The fire was sparking and glowing brightly, maybe a bit on the large side, but it was going well. A shadow crossed over my face and I quickly looked up, two grey/blue eyes looked down at me, before a cool cloth was wiped across my forehead.

"How long?" My voice came out as a croak, and then I coughed.

She carefully brought a canteen to my lips and let me sip from it while supporting my head. The cool water trickled down my throat easing the dryness that irritated it.

I weakly pulled out my arm with my watch on. It was clearly night time as the sun wasn't shining, but what surprised me was that twenty-two hours had passed since I started to sew up my leg. I knew I had a fever, so I pointed to my bag.

"Bring me my bag. Please." She frowned at me. Sakoula…ferre sakoula." She nodded and hopped up and brought my bag over to me. I pulled out the med kit; it had been carefully tidied up. I pointed to the needle and thread and made a sewing motion. She nodded then pointed to herself.

Sam had sewn me up; I just hoped she hadn't sewn my legs together. I pulled out the bottle of antibiotics. They were specifically for this type of injury; I just needed to be sure this was what was wrong with me. I slowly sat up, the room started to spin around my head, but I persevered and zipped down my bag. If I hadn't been in so much pain, I would have laughed. She had wrapped so many bandages around my leg it looked like I had grown another foot. At this sight I sighed in defeat and made the unwrapping motion to her.

Carefully, and far too slowly she removed the bandages. When I looked at the wound; I could see at a glance that this was infected. The antibiotics were just what I needed. You could see the difference in her stitches to mine. Hers were neatly tied off and perfectly spaced. Mine were haphazardly all over the place and the most redness of infection seemed to be mainly around my attempt at sewing myself up. I gave her a smile and laid back down, leaving her to wrap my leg up again in the mounds of wadding. Too tired to tell her to do anything different.

"Thank you, Carter," I sighed out.

I felt a prod in my shoulder, not the bitten one thankfully; I opened my eyes, to see her frowning at me. "Carter?" I queried.

She shook her head at me.

"Not Carter?"

She shook her head again pointed to herself and started to say something, but nothing came out. I could see her tongue touching the roof of her mouth, but no sound came. Then tears filled her eyes.

"La Haia," I said quietly.

She smiled and nodded to me.

I sighed internally with disappointment. I'd hoped there was something in the dark recesses of her mind that would help her remember. Even if all she remembered was her name. I drifted off back to sleep.

Over the next few days I slipped in and out of sleep. When I remembered, I took the antibiotics, I knew I wasn't taking them when I should because I had no sense of time, but I couldn't rely on La Haia to time them right. She managed to look after the horses well, taking them out to graze and for some exercise. Keeping the fire going and boiling the water. I had a suspicious feeling that all the energy bars and the dried apple would have gone by the time I was well, but that would be a small cost. There was no way I would have survived if I'd been on my own.

I was wrong. There was still plenty of apple left; she fed it to me while I was too weak to feed myself. I was pleased to see that she used a spoon and didn't lick the bowl clean afterwards. I got the feeling though that the utensils were washed in shampoo, but then I wasn't complaining, even if the apple tasted a bit weird sometimes.

By the time the antibiotics had finished I was hobbling around the cave. The inflammation had gone down. My arm most probably would be permanently pointing out sideways because La Haia had bandaged up her bite mark like my leg. It didn't take me long to undo that bandage that was for sure. I was just thankful she hadn't bandaged up my face and neck in the same way. I was stretching my shoulder out as I limped my way around the cave. I was weak, but lying around wasn't going to get me any stronger. She walked in, and then hesitated. I could feel the nervousness emanating from her while she stood at the entrance way, her arms full of bundles of sticks and branches.

"Hi ya!" I waved briefly, and then continued to swing my arm about.

I heard her walk over towards the fire and then drop the branches down onto the dirt floor. I turned and smiled at her, and then I rubbed my belly.

"Food?" I asked.

She smiled nervously and nodded. I smiled broadly back and limped over to my pack. I was surprised, but pleased to see that the energy bars were still there, but I was not happy to see that only three packs of food were gone. I knew who had eaten those and it wasn't La Haia.

I quickly looked up; she was carefully placing firewood onto the already large fire. I definitely needed to teach her about saving wood, but now was not the time.

"La Haia." I spoke softly.

She stopped and turned around, with her head hanging down.

"Come here."

She knew enough English now to know what that meant. She slowly shuffled over to me, I pointed to the pack, then to her.

"La Haia na fai ti?"

She looked at me, fear was in her face, with a shaking finger, she pointed to me, held up three fingers and then pointed to me again. I smiled reassuringly.

"I know, Jack eat three." Holding up three fingers and then pointed to myself.

"La Haia." I shook my head and held both hands up as though I didn't know.

I was worried. Did this mean she hadn't eaten anything for seven days? I saw her relax then smile. She pulled from one of her pockets some dried husks and handed me one. She then broke an end off one and sucked out the inside, then pointed to mine. I did the same, there was a rich gooey white substance inside the long husk, I sucked out the inside, and it was delicious. Sweet but not oversweet and really filling, immediately I didn't feel hungry. I also didn't feel thirsty. It was amazing. I smiled at her and said, "Good."

She nodded, then seconds later a rumble came from her stomach. Obviously, it wasn't as good as I thought. I wondered how many of these things you would have to eat before you were really satisfied.

I pulled out the turkey and tossed if over to her.

"A party to celebrate. You and me, I pointed to her and then myself. La Haia and Jack." She smiled and placed the pot over the fire. I hobbled back to my sleeping bag and curled back inside it "I wish there was cake," I murmured to myself and promptly fell asleep.

I woke to the pleasant smell of turkey casserole wafting under my nose. I carefully sat up and La Haia laughed. She had woken me up by passing the bowl of food by my head, then as I reached out for it, pulled it out of the way. I smiled, then moved back and leaned against one of the feed bags. She handed me the warm bowl of food. It looked like it had been there for quite a while, but she had waited for me to wake before eating herself. I wasn't sure if it was because she was naturally polite or if she still was the slave looking out for her master.

I started to eat the luke warm food. I was famished. I also noticed that she ate hers quickly. After seven days of only eating those husks she would have been starving was all I could think of.

While she sat there, I could definitely see a resemblance to the Nox now. Her hair was a mass of knots and dead leaves and small twigs poked out of it all over the place. I reached into my pack and pulled out a comb. I didn't have a brush, and a brush is what she needed, but she would have to make do with what I had. I pulled the comb through my hair, knowing full well that it wouldn't do any good without wetting it down, but even so she should get the general idea. I handed her the comb and pointed to her hair. She reached forwards towards my hair I laughed, smiled.

"No, La Haia." I pointed to her hair again.

She nodded, then stuck the comb into her hair and pulled. Well that was as far as she got, she flung the comb down on the ground and pouted.

"Here, come here," I said, and then picked up the comb.

The top of her hair was okay, it was just the raggle-taggle stuff that hung down her back. I started at the top and gently pulled the comb through her hair, pulling out bits of leaves and twigs along the way. I know I hurt her, but she didn't complain at all while I tugged and yanked at her hair. I had finally managed to get her hair reasonably straight as far as her ears, after that it was an impossible case. With the dried mud and the fact it hadn't been washed for a week, it was not going to work, there was only one thing left to do.

I pulled out my knife. I didn't own a single pair of scissors, the pair in the med kit had disappeared a year ago. I had no need of scissors anyhow, so why bother having any. One sight of the knife, La Haia bolted. She sprang up and dashed off and hid behind Meadow, making him restless as she peeked out from under his belly. I smiled at her, and beckoned her forwards. Now was the time to show her, I needed to prove to her that she was safe with me. No matter what.

I put the knife away as she came over to me, I then pulled out a small shaving mirror I had and gave it to her. She looked into it; she knew what a mirror was. She smiled then made a funny face at herself, then pulled her knotted hair away from her head. Then handed the mirror back to me, her expression was full of sadness. I put the mirror down and then I handed the small photo still in its plastic wrapper, to her. I pointed to each person.

"Teal'c. Daniel. This is me, Jack." I looked up at her and watched her face. She put a grubby finger out and touched the picture of me. Then I pointed to Carter. "Sam Carter." I said quietly, and then handed her the mirror again. She swallowed before pushing my hand aside that held the mirror. Her finger went out and touched Sam's photo, then she pulled it back as though it burned her. I pointed to the photo again and said "La Haia . . . Sam Carter."

She started to shake her head is disbelief. I nodded, and then pointed to her. "Sam Carter." Then back to the photo, "La Haia."

She looked up at me, her eyes were huge as they stared at me, and then dropped down to the photo. She pulled her bottom lip in with her teeth then her eyes began to fill with tears.

"Good." I said smiling. "This is good." I repeated.

"Jack happy . . . Tzak efharistimennos." I repeated for her benefit in Ellinika, though I knew she would understand those simple words.

A lone tear slipped over onto her cheek, which she quickly brushed out of the way. Then looking up at me she nodded, and gave a small nervous smile. She handed the photo back to me then leaned down retrieved the knife and handed it to me handle first.

I couldn't be sure she believed that she was Sam Carter, or if she was just trying to please me. I decided to think she believed me and that from now on, she would not try to escape.

It was hard to cut off the golden hair, I knew how beautiful it had looked, but there was no way we could save this now. I doubted if we could have saved it even after it had been washed the first time.

When I had finished, I knew without any doubt at all if Samantha Carter could see what I had done to her hair she would kill me, very slowly. But La Haia seemed extremely happy as she dragged my comb through her short ragged hair solidly for the next thirty minutes, but not before she had picked up her discarded hair and flung it into the fire. _'Man, did that stink as it burnt.' _Not satisfied with that, she picked up her dress and threw that in too. She looked most pleased with herself as she stood there and watched her dress shrivel up before turning to ash.

I found that my time of thinking La Haia as Sam, was short lived because she wouldn't answer to anything but La Haia. By the time we hit the road again, it was full winter, three inches of snow underfoot. The first thing I did was make a large poncho for La Haia out of the spare blanket. After washing all of my clothes, I shared them out between us. It was weird seeing La Haia wearing BDU's, she didn't wear them quite like Sam ever did. Then, of course, Sam's actually fitted her. They didn't hang off her like large sacks. Two pairs of socks firmly pulled onto her feet with extra strong plastic bags tied over the top. With matching black beanies on our heads we must have looked a sight as I pulled her up to sit behind me on Meadow.

Once again the warm leather coat hid all my weapons, not once had La Haia questioned my stock of weapons that I had stashed in my pack. Now they were firmly fitted into their holders inside my coat. Easy to get at, but not easily seen by prying eyes. Never had I regretted that choice until I felt La Haia's arms reach around my waist to hang on and found she couldn't as the P-90 dug into her arms and she found it too difficult to get a grip. Pulling back, I felt her grasp the sides of my coat, disappointment rose up inside me at the thought, but then I had to remember this was La Haia, not Sam. Hopefully once we got home, Sam would remember who she was. Then we could go horse riding, without the coat and its weaponry.

The End

Authors Note:

If you have enjoyed this series, I really would love to hear from you.

A sequel 'Memoirs of Major General Jack O'Neill (re-activated)' is in the making, and hopefully, will be released late this year.

Many thanks to La La Haia for letting me use her name. La Haia is a derivative of the name La La Haia, which means flower in Papua New Guinea. Pronounced La-high-a.

_DISCLAIMER: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions and Gekko Productions. This story has been written for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations and story are the property of the authors._

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